Equestria Fortress 2
by nightelf37
Summary: This story is copied straight from FiMFiction, please check there for a better summary. This is the gist: the keepers of the Elements of Harmony, Spike, Derpy Hooves, and my main OC from "Shisno Chronicles: Friendship is Magic" are transported into the TF2 universe. There, they meet a member of the Story Crew and are taken into the fight between RED and BLU. Non-canon to SC:FiM.
1. Arrival

?: Okay…now what's this?

nightelf37: Well, Team Fortress 2 sounded exciting, so I thought…

?: You're gonna assign "the mane cast" to the classes?

nightelf37: Them, Derpy, and you, Chronicle.

Chronicle: What about Spike?

nightelf37: 'Mane cast', not 'mane six'.

Chronicle: Oh. Hold on a second…

nightelf37: This is a crack fic, and I own nothing. Just the setting, you, and the Story Crew.

Chronicle: Consarn it, I forgot what I was supposed to say.

_Equestria Fortress 2_

Chronicle woke up with a headache, wondering who slammed him in the back of the head. It was a miracle he hasn't suffered anything worse. He opened his eyes groggily, then went on full alert upon realizing that he was no longer in Ponyville. He wasn't sure if this was even Equestria. He was in a white room, although it wasn't all white. There were a couple of hanging lights, a metal cabinet with two symbols on either of its doors, a couple of benches, steel girders supporting the roof, a door similar to hangar doors, a large window opposite it (as he saw later), and a couple other stuff he didn't bother describing.

Just then, he heard collective groans from behind. He turned around to see seven ponies and one baby dragon, all of them his friends. Twilight Sparkle, Spike, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy,… and Derpy Hooves?

_Okay, now this is strange., _Chronicle thought. _If we were taken here by someone who needed our help, I'd understand why me and the Keepers of the Elements of Harmony are brought. I'd even understand Spike being brought too, being the direct line to Princess Celestia and all. But why is Derpy here with the rest of us?_

Just then, the door raised itself and someone entered. None of Chronicle's companions knew what it was, but he did. And Lyra Heartstrings too were she here, or at least she would be enthusiastic upon meeting one. It was a human being. A male, Chronicle figured. He was in full-clad army fatigues, wore two bands of red and blue around his arms, donned a helmet obscuring his eyes, and carried a medium-sized backpack. He was unarmed. Curiously, the symbol on his helmet was the same as Chronicle's cutie mark; an orange circle with an open book inside it. This got his companions curious as the man approached them and the ponies (and dragon) started spouting questions (or comments).

"Okay, buster! Speak up!" Rainbow Dash.

"Where the hay are we?" Applejack.

"This is definitely not Ponyville." Spike.

"Well, this place looks so bland." Rarity.

"Have you got any muffins?" Derpy.

"Chronicle, is this…thing related to you?" Twilight. Chronicle didn't answer.

Fluttershy just squeaked nervously. As for Pinkie, she (as usual for her) popped out from behind the human. As it turns out, he was merely a foot or two taller than them (sans Spike), which puzzled the sole stallion in the group.

"Hey!", rambled the pink earth pony. "Haven't seen you before! Maybe we can have a party together."

"Hold up there.", said the man as he wrested himself free and got Pinkie off of him . "Allow me to explain why you're here."

"So you're the one!" He was then pounced by Rainbow and they fell to the floor.

"Hey! Let him go!" Chronicle's horn glowed and he 'pulled away' the cyan pegasus by the tail.

"What's the big idea?!"

"Don't go jumping into conclusions."

"You haven't answered my question yet, Chronicle.", Twilight cut in. "Why does he have your cutie mark on his hat?"

"That wasn't your question.", Chronicle retorted.

"Oh, dear.", mumbled the man.

"Now that's definitely suspicious.", commented Spike.

"Looks like you have to tell them the truth.", the man told Chronicle.

"What truth?", inquired Applejack.

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And after a while, they were told everything they needed to know about Chronicle. He was not born in Equestria and was—rather—from another world, sent down there for a mission. What the mission is he's not allowed to say, but they're assured that neither he nor his organization have any malicious plans (he even makes a "Pinkie Swear" on that, and to break it is to lose a friend forever, not to mention getting a severe beating from Pinkie Pie).

As to why the symbol on the man's (his name was Tasic) helmet is the same as Chronicle's cutie mark, it's because Chronicle was not originally a pony and was transformed upon arrival. Apparently, the principle that applies to ponies when it comes to their cutie marks is different for other-worlders when they turn into them. While Equestria natives possess those that depict their special talent, other-worlders obtain those that depict an aspect of their personality or history, if they get any at all. Chronicle is a member of the organization called the Story Crew, and his cutie mark is its insignia. What the Story Crew is he's not allowed to say.

Before Tasic told them why they were here, they were told of the history behind their to-be-enemies. They were told of the feud between the Mann brothers, their companies RED and BLU, the mercenaries they hired, and the "war games" they "played". This fight has continued on for years and has since become very pointless.

"Well, if that's the case, when why did you bring us, of all people?", Chronicle demanded. "Among us, only I am an actual fighter around here, not to mention killing isn't something they're gonna be comfortable with." Tasic was about to point out something before Chronicle cut him off. "And **that one** didn't count; it was all in their heads." He also noted the uncomfortable expressions everypony (and Spike) showed.

"Well, I'm not allowed to tell your friends why they were brought here. It's classified and only for Story Crew members like us." Tasic then bent down to whisper into Chronicle's ear. There were a couple of nods from the unicorn. There were also confused looks from his companions, who all decided to check out their surroundings. There were various remarks on the place, as well as some phrases no one could understand or relate to the current situation, which came from either Pinkie or Derpy, but neither Story Crew member paid attention.

"I wouldn't have chosen you guys had I any other choice.", Tasic continued.

"And in another universe, you probably had."

"But I didn't. And turning back is no longer an option. I'm sorry."

"Fine.", sighed Chronicle. "What is it we need to do?"

"Before I tell you that, I'm gonna have to show you who we'll be dealing with." Tasic then took out nine tablet-sized, black metallic cards from his backpack. He then set them on the floor in a line in front of the eight ponies and one dragon. One of the 'cards' began to project what he called a hologram, which depicted a lean young man.

"The Scout.", a voice came from one of the cards. "Youngest of eight boys. Early on in life, he learned how to solve problems with his fists, as did his brothers. Unfortunately, fights tended to end thanks to them before he could land so much as a hit, so he trained himself to run. Eventually, he became so fast he can even do the double jump, in which he can jump once mid-air before having to land. He may look like a cheerful guy, but he's just as much a killer as everyone else. His arsenal consists of a 'scattergun', a pistol, and a baseball bat."

As the weapons were named, it showed the person in the hologram using them; this would apply for all of the other 'cards'.

"Youngest of eight? That doesn't make any sense, silly.", Pinkie said.

"Neither does the stuff you sometimes do, Pinkie.", grumbled Twilight.

"But this is different."

"I know, right?", remarked Tasic. "**These** humans here are impossible like that." The next 'card' began to project its hologram, which depicted a man in army fatigues and a helmet. He looked a bit like Tasic, but his body was more muscular, and his jaw looked different too.

"The Soldier.", the same voice came from the card. "He wanted to do his part in 'World War II', but was rejected from every branch of the military. So he made his own way to where it took place, taught himself how do use a variety of weapons, and embarked on a one-man rampage against his nation's enemies. He did not stop until four years after the war ended. He's also very dim-witted and is far more concerned with killing than any sort of tactics. His arsenal consists of a rocket launcher, a shotgun, and a shovel."

"Sounds extremely dangerous.", said Derpy.

"World War II?", Twilight wanted to know.

"I think it's obvious we're not in Equestria.", said Chronicle. "With humans and everything."

Tasic said nothing as the next card began to 'play', showing a human in a full suit and black gas mask.

"The Pyro. Only two things are known for certain about this guy: he sets things on fire and he doesn't speak. Fearsome, inscrutable, a maniac, and—for all anyone knows—may actually be a female or something else entirely. His arsenal consists of a flamethrower which can—other than set enemies on fire—also shoot blasts of air, a shotgun, and an axe."

After nopony made any remark of any sort, The next card began to 'play', showing a dark-skinned man with an eyepatch.

"The Demoman. A fierce temper, a fascination with explosives, and a terrible plan to kill the Loch Ness Monster—a fictional creature in this world—cost him his first set of adoptive parents at a young age. In the orphanage he then ended up in, his bomb-making skills improved dramatically, but his disposition didn't and he also lost an eye. Word of his skill spread and it wasn't long before two visitors came to the orphanage; his real parents, who lovingly explained that all 'Demomen' were abandoned at birth until their skills manifest themselves, a long-standing, cruel, and wholly unnecessary tradition among the Highland Demolition Men. His arsenal consists of a grenade launcher, a 'stickybomb' launcher, and a glass bottle of liquor."

"Now that sounds like a needlessly cruel childhood.", remarked Applejack in a shocked manner.

"I know, right?", replied Tasic. They proceeded to the next 'card', which showed a large man holding a large gun.

"The Heavy. Like a bear, he appears to be a gentle giant. Also like a bear, to confuse his deliberate, sleepy demeanor with gentleness will get you torn apart. While he speaks simply and moves slow, he isn't dumb and he's isn't friendly. His arsenal consists of a minigun he calls Sasha (and gets angry if anyone touches 'her'), a shotgun, and his own fists."

The next 'card' showed a short man with a hard hat and goggles.

"The Engineer. Amiable, soft-spoken, loves barbecues, guns, and higher education. His natural curiosity, ten years as a 'roughneck' in the oilfields, and eleven hard science PhDs have trained him to design, build and repair a variety of deadly contraptions. His arsenal consists of a shotgun, a pistol, and a wrench for building and destroying. He can build a Sentry Gun, which attacks with a minigun and rocket launcher, a dispenser, which provides ammo, health, and resources for his team, and a teleporter, a pair of two buildings that do just that."

"What are PhDs?", Twilight asked again.

"They're degrees in which he's proficient in.", answered Tasic. "Humans are much more diverse in special talents than ponies, although the Engineer's 11 PhDs are a lot even for humans."

The next 'card' showed a tall man in a white coat and small glasses.

"The Medic. While he may be the team's healer, he is far from nice, and lacks compassion for the sick, respect for human dignity, and any sort of verifiable formal training in medicine. He's madly curious about human flesh and/or pain, with healing as an investment to see more hurting in the future. His arsenal consists of a gun that shoots syringes, a "Medi Gun" whose healing effect is actually secondary, and a saw that can cut through bone."

"I can't believe there's a healer who take pleasure in pain.", whimpered Fluttershy.

"I know, right?", replied Tasic.

The next 'card' showed an affable man with yellow shades and a brimmed hat.

"The Sniper. In his former life as a tracker of dangerous game in the unforgiving outback of his homeland, he would spend months by himself. Prolonged isolation taught him that he doesn't have to rely on others if he never misses. 'Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.' is his motto, although he rarely follows the first in taking out his opponents. His arsenal consists of a sniper rifle, a submachinegun, and a forward-curved chopping blade."

The last 'card' showed a man in a fancy tuxedo and a balaclava mask.

"The Spy. He is a puzzle, wrapped in an enigma, shrouded in riddles, lovingly sprinkled with intrigue. A globetrotting rogue, lady killer, and mankiller. His arsenal consists of a revolver (pretty much like a pistol), an "Electro Sapper" for disabling an Engineer's machines, a knife for backstabbing with, a watch that can render the wearer invisible, and a "disguise kit" for impersonation."

"My, such style for someone in such conditions where he can get really dirty.", remarked Rarity. This earned her some stares from the others, including Tasic. "What? That suit has to cost a fortune compared to what his teammates are wearing."

The holograms on the 'cards' then turned into black icons with their weapons surrounding it. The Scout's was a human's shoe with wings on its heels, the Soldier's a rocket, the Pyro's a flame, the Demoman's a bomb, the Heavy's a fist, the Engineer's a wrench, the Medic's a cross, the Sniper's a reticule, and the Spy's a knife.

"If I hadn't done so already, then I apologize for bringing you all into this.", said Tasic to the ponies and dragon. "I really hoped not to do this…I don't think you can ever forgive me."

"As Chronicle asked earlier, what is it we need to do?", asked Twilight.

"Well, since there are nine of you here, you should each select a 'class' you wish to take. Simply take a card and you will assume that 'class'. I'll provide a week's practice so we can remove those issues you have against killing. I shall tell you more once you have made your choices. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to make sure neither RED nor BLU have acknowledged your presence yet, although I think the Administrator is another matter." Before anyone could ask who the Administrator was, Tasic got up and left the room, leaving the eight ponies and one dragon with the 'cards'.

There was a minute of discussion amongst the nine; it was strange having to converse with Derpy, who usually isn't one one would expect to be able to have a coherent debate with. Suddenly, while everyone was conversing, Pinkie Pie trotted over to the Pyro 'card', put a hoof on it, and dragged it towards herself. There were worried looks coming from everyone else and she noticed.

"What?", she asked. "I figured that the flamethrower could be used to bake a lot of cupcakes at once!"

"Uhh, that isn't what it is for, Pinkie.", Chronicle stated.

"Yeah.", agreed Spike. "I was hoping to pick that." He then walked over to Pinkie to try and take the 'card' when it suddenly changed color, turning from black to pink, surprising everyone. "Holy guacamole!" After a second, he shook his head vigorously and proceeded to take the 'card', only for it not to budge. However, when Pinkie pulled the 'card', she removed it from Spike's grasp with ease. She then let go of it.

"Okay. Now what's going on?", asked Rainbow as she tried picking up the 'card'. However, it seemed to be stuck to the floor and, try as she might, she couldn't remove it. Twilight tried to take it using magic, but even when the 'card' glowed in her magic aura, she couldn't move it either. Pinkie then decided to pick up the 'card' with her mouth…and did so with ease.

"What in…how the hay is this possible?", asked Applejack.

"If I were to guess, the 'card' is now linked to Pinkie Pie somehow and that it can be picked up by no one but her.", figured Chronicle.

Just then, there was a familiar squeak. Eight heads turned to see that Fluttershy had picked up a 'card' and that it had already changed color; yellow. Quickly, Chronicle went over to see what she picked. He then sighed in relief upon seeing that it was the Medic 'card'.

"What did she pick?", Derpy asked.

"It's okay.", said the blue unicorn. "She just got the Medic 'card'."

"Wait. Why are you okay with that?", asked Spike.

"Well, do you think any of you would've preferred the Medic class?" There was no response. "Do you think she would've preferred some other class?" Again, no response. "In any case, it's too late to change decisions." He then turned to Fluttershy. "And personally, I don't regret it, and I hope you won't too." He then turned back to the rest. "I'm sure we won't have to worry about becoming like RED and BLU. They're hired mercenaries who kill for a living and enjoy doing it. We represent the peaceful world of Equestria where friendship is magic."

"Right.", Twilight agreed. "Now let's try and make our decisions more careful. Okay, everypony?"

"Okay.", they chorused, including Derpy.

After a few minutes have passed, a couple more decisions have been made. Rarity selected the Spy not only because she admired the fashion choice, but—even if it's a difficult task—she's less likely to get dirty. Twilight Sparkle decided to go for Sniper as she felt close combat wasn't her forte. Rainbow chose the Scout simply because. Spike decided to go for Demoman, seeing it as the next best choice for reasons he refuses to tell. Applejack went for the Engineer, claiming that her experience with farm equipment would give her an advantage. That left Derpy and Chronicle to choose between the Soldier and the Heavy.

"…Well, Derpy?", said the sole stallion in the group. "You didn't really debate that much with us."

"Well, I'm not really that close to you guys as you are with one another, so I couldn't really say much. Besides, I know I'm not that good a thinker, and that—" Chronicle put a hoof to her mouth.

"Look. None of that matters now. What matters is that we have to work together as a team if we are to make it back to Equestria. And that means even if we aren't on bad terms, we should get to know each other better, okay?" Derpy nodded. "Now. Which class do you wish to choose?"

The grey pegasus looked back and forth between the two cards. Eventually, she made her choice; the picked up the Soldier 'card' and it turned grey a few seconds later.

"Guess that leaves me with this." Chronicle 'picked up' the Heavy 'card' and it turned blue like his coat. _Personally, I would've chosen something with speed, but I can't be picky. Looks like I'll have to make do with this, not that I'm slow._

Just then, Tasic returned and noticed that all the 'cards' have been picked up and selected. "Looks like everyone's decided." There were a couple of nods. "Now, let's get you guys out of Well. RED's about to come here soon." Immediately, the nine followed him out of the room, carrying their 'cards' with them.

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Stealthily, the ten crossed the hallways, entered various rooms to hide, and even teleport around (thanks to Chronicle and Twilight) to keep out of sight from any REDs, who were currently up against the BLUs (as always). Eventually, they made it to a door leading to the outside. However, as they reached it, they realized it was locked. Tasic then took out a handheld contraption and then pushed a button on it. All of a sudden, what they could only describe to be a portal appeared in front of them.

"Let's go.", said Tasic as he crossed the portal.

One by one, everyone followed and on the other side they saw that they ended up in what seemed to be a warehouse that was less-than-adequately lit, had loads of boxes and barrels at the sides, three metal doors like the one back where they met, a wooden booth, a mine cart with a blue object of some kind (called a Payload cart), speakers on some of the pillars, and a couple other stuff.

Near the wooden booth was a chain-link fence, and behind it were lots of other stuff, especially a doorway that had its steel door mostly down so that one would have to crouch to get across. However, access there was barred by the fence, and it seemed to reach too high to the ceiling for even Spike to attempt to climb and crawl over.

"May I welcome you to…Target.", Tasic told his companions. "This will be where your training will take place."

"Looks great.", remarked Derpy. This earned her a few looks from the rest. "Uhh, did I say something wrong?"

"No.", replied Applejack. "For some reason, I was thinking the same thing."

"Well then.", cut in Tasic. "Shall we get started?"

"Wait. Now?", asked Spike.

"Well, I can give you time to get used to—"

"I say the sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can get home!", cut in Rainbow.

"I'm gonna have to agree with Rainbow Dash.", said Twilight.

"Well then. Let's begin." Tasic took out his handheld device and pushed another button. Suddenly, the 'cards' then attached to their 'owners' and manifested straps that circled their bodies. There was then a flash of light that came from them that engulfed the nine. Once it faded, everyone was wearing clothes.

Pinkie Pie was now covered head to hoof in a fireproof suit colored in black and pink, and her face was concealed with a black gas mask. For some reason, her mane and tail were still exposed, which was a concerning issue as the flamethrower that was now attached to her right side can potentially burn it. There was a shotgun on her left side, and an axe attached at her back.

Fluttershy now wore a doctor's lab coat, yellow boots on her forelegs, a strange device that was presumably the "Medi Gun" (as they've seen in the holograms) on her left, and a high-tech saddlebag lined with yellow on her right that was attached to the former and also held the other two weapons (the "syringe gun" and "bonesaw").

Rarity now donned a white balaclava that had an opening for her mane and horn, a white suit she was _slightly _averse to as it was more suited for a stallion, and a small saddlebag presumably holding the Spy gadgets. She 'opened' it and 'took out' the revolver, the (foldable) knife, a small box called the "Electro Sapper", and a small case that contained a small computer with a black screen and three buttons (one red, two yellow). This item was presumably the "disguise kit". She also saw a watch around her left foreleg with a large blue glowing button in place of its clock face. It was the "invisibility watch", simplified to be function-able by hoof.

Twilight Sparkle now had on a purple shirt, a brown "bush hat", a khaki vest, and yellow shades. On her left was a holster that held the sniper rifle, on her right was another holster holding the submachinegun, and on her back was a hilt holding the blade that Tasic called a kukri.

Rainbow Dash now wore a cyan shirt, two small ball-chain necklaces with metal tags, white bandages around her forelegs, a black cap and something that looked like half of a headphone that also had a microphone on her head, and a medium sized black saddlebag that held the baseball bat. Attached to her left was the "scattergun", and to her right the pistol.

Spike was now wearing a green suit, a black vest, a winter cap on his head with holes for his spines, a backpack holding the "stickybomb laucher" and a metallic stick that held a large, heart-shaped red jewel on it, and the "grenade launcher" on his hands. He also had skates of some kind on his feet.

Applejack now donned orange coveralls, a mysterious metallic attachment on her right foreleg, kneecaps, a hard hat that replaced her stetson (which she felt disturbed not to have), and goggles over her eyes. She also wore a saddlebag that contained the shotgun, the pistol, the wrench, a toolbox, and two "electronic doohickeys" that served as tools for constructing/destroying buildings.

Derpy Hooves now wore grey army fatigues catered to her body and a helmet of a darker shade that seemed to feel a bit loose but did not obscure her already impaired vision. On her back was the rocket launcher and the shovel, and attached to her left was the shotgun.

As for Chronicle, on him was a navy blue shirt and a black protective vest. Attached to his left was the Minigun (which he was not about to name Sasha anytime soon), and to his right was the shotgun.

With the exception of Rarity and Rainbow Dash, everyone's suits' left sleeves depicted the icons of their respective 'classes' colored in black and the right sleeves depicted their cutie marks colored in black (in Spike's case, it was a flame akin to the Pyro's icon, but styled differently). On the sides of those who were not unicorns or Spike were strange short metallic arms attached to the 'cards' and they were designed to aim the weapons and switch them as desired.

Everyone was having mixed reactions from their new duds, but there were no disagreements with their appearances.

"Let the training begin.", declared Tasic.

And so it begins…our main characters, Derpy, and an OC of mine are forced into the Team Fortress universe where they will have to stop the fight between RED and BLU…by joining it? More to come soon.

nightelf37: And that's it for now.

Chronicle: What?!

nightelf37: This crack fic work is tiring, you know.

Chronicle: Well, might I ask why you added me in the group? I mean, as far as I'm concerned, only you know who I am and care about it.

nightelf37: Well, I based the 'team' on a picture in deviantART called "Equestria Fortress 2", and it just felt wrong to feature such an…overpowered character in the team.

Chronicle: Princess Celestia?

nightelf37: The one and only. And the only other popular setup I know of involves Spike as the Soldier, Big Macintosh as the Heavy, and Zecora as the Demo. And rhyming on a dime isn't my forte.

Chronicle: Why didn't you just assign me as Demo, then?

nightelf37: …I dunno. Third Base.

Chronicle: Okay. What's with Spike's melee weapon being a stick with a gemstone?

nightelf37: Well, the Demoman is depicted as a drunk, but I can't have that applied for Spike, so…

Chronicle: So you decided to go for another item that is saved up before consumption?

nightelf37: Yeah. Man, my skills are deteriorating.

Chronicle: You should probably get back on the Kingdom Hearts Remake series.

nightelf37: Yeah. I probably should. See ya on Third!

Chronicle: So that means you plan on making more?

nightelf37: Yes. Based on the "Meet the Team" videos. I'll also cover on more of the TF2 universe, like the Respawn system.

Chronicle: Joy.


	2. Interview on the First Day

"Tell me again why we're doing this?"

Inside the spawn room of Target, Chronicle was looking at Tasic, who was positioning a videocam on a tripod. The spawn room was small, had windows showing the training area, two computer-like machines, a door with a frosted window that had the words "Top Secret", a trash bin close to it, a steel door with a "barring entry" sign on it, and an off blue light that read "Exit".

The former (who wasn't wearing his Heavy uniform at the moment) was reading a script while asking the latter why he was making a video. A few other people have joined Tasic, all with the Story Crew insignia (or as Pinkie Pie calls it, "Chronicle's cutie mark") on their clothes.

One of them wore the lab coat and gloves the RED and BLU Medics wore (why they looked the same nobody knows) and even his appearance was similar, but he looked like a nicer fellow, was younger and shorter, and had amber eyes in comparison to the Medic's blue. His name was Jothicu and he's the medical researcher who'll be assisting Chronicle and the Equestria natives.

The second wore clothes similar to the Engineers', down to the hard hat and welding glove, and could very well have been him if he were a foot taller and had green eyes (the Engineer's were blue). His name was Thenam and he was in charge of managing the simulations and all things technological.

Tasic was in charge of two things. One was choreography, which he was doing right now with Chronicle. The other was training supervision, which he has the gear for thanks to Thenam.

"Well, as we'll be joining in the fight soon, I thought I'd make some videos featuring you guys of EqU.", Tasic explained to Chronicle.

"EqU?"

"Equestria Union." Tasic took out an illustration board that was one quarter the size of a flag one would hoist up a flagpole. The left half was colored dark blue and showed a white crescent moon at the right edge, although its edges were cut off by the right half. This half was colored white and showed a shining sun at the left edge, but was cut off by the left half. In the middle were the letters 'E', 'q', and 'U'. Upon a second look, Chronicle realized the shining sun looked like Princess Celestia's cutie mark, and the moon was supposed to represent Princess Luna. "Sorry if it doesn't look good. It's stiil in the works."

"It doesn't really make much sense." Chronicle turned to two illustration boards that lay leaning on a wall, depicting the logos of RED and BLU.

"Well, my first idea was PONY and a backronym for it, but I felt that wouldn't be fair to Spike."

"Oh, I see what you mean."

In addition to their training, Chronicle and the eight Equstria natives have learnt a bit more about the rivaling companies RED and BLU. RED stood for Reliable Excavation and Demolition while BLU stood for Builder's League United. Both are companies that secretly control the entire world and are headed by the Mann brothers, who are bitter rivals and fight over everything. Why they have continued fighting for so long is because of a will left by their father, but he doesn't know much of it yet.

And what's worse? Someone called the Administrator is secretly in control of **both** RED and BLU and wishes for the battles to continue for some purpose unknown to Tasic. He promised to find out more while Chronicle and the others practiced. But for now…

"Let's get this video over with, shall we?"

EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2

At the training area in Target, the others were practicing with their new gear. Currently, Derpy Hooves was at the wooden booth, alternating between her rocket launcher, shotgun, and shovel as she attacked the wooden practice targets that popped out from under the floor. Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie were in other sections of the training area, practicing on other targets and sticking to the sides in case Derpy ends up shooting a stray rocket at them, (although given that this was Derpy, barriers were set up just in case). As for Spike, Applejack, Fluttershy, and Rarity, the latter three were standing idly by next to the chain-link fence while the baby dragon was leaning on it.

"Man, this training is hard work.", he said as he took out his stick with a crystal on it. Now that he's got a closer look, it seemed to have a familiar appearance in his eyes. "Hmm…this reminds me of…of…" He was drooling as he continued to look. Then he decided to lick it. "A fire ruby!" He then proceeded to lick away at it like it was hard candy. He **could** just eat it up, but this was also his weapon, and he knew that gems were pretty tough. This earned him various stares from the others, then they ignored him. "Hmm…not quite like it, but no use being picky."

EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2

Once the camera was ready to record, Chronicle tapped on the 'card' strapped to him and, in a flash, he was now in his Heavy uniform. Moving from where Tasic told him to be in, he trotted forward, carrying his minigun with telekinesis. While he's certainly capable of carrying it manually, it was quite…well, heavy and the script he was given said that he carry it this way.

As he walked towards the camera, he reached a cardboard box ahead of him and set it down on it. He then stopped close to the box.

"Okay. Now introduce yourself.", said Tasic as he stood behind the camera.

"My name is Chronicle.", he said. "I serve as EqU's Heavy Weapons Pony, the Heavy for short." He then lay a hoof on the minigun. "This is the weapon Heavies use. Now, I'm not gonna go about the complicated mathematics behind this bad boy, but I'll tell you that it's heavy, it shoots plenty of bullets, and it shoots them fast."

"Okay. Now tell us your difference between the Heavies RED and BLU employed."

"While I may be weaker than those big guys, I'm faster than them. This gun of mine isn't gonna weigh me down that much, given what you've just seen me do earlier. No, I'm not gonna name it; that's just silly, my friend Pinkie Pie would say. I think I'm smarter than the RED and BLU Heavies, but that won't help me stop them or their bullets."

"Cut.", Tasic said as he stopped recording. "Damn, I think I found some flaws in the script."

"Tell me about it. I sounded like an idiot." Just then, there was an explosion, then a collision. The two of them turned to see the chain-link fence destroyed. Derpy was holding her rocket launcher the wrong way, and the others were huddled in fright.

"Oops.", Derpy apologized. "My bad."

Then they saw Spike plastered to the window they were looking out from. "Now how didn't we notice him sooner?"

"I know, right?" As Spike slid down the window, Chronicle raised a hoof and not-so-gently kicked Tasic in the shin with it. "Oww."

"Say that one more time and I'll smack you again. It's getting irritating."

"Sorry."

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Later, Tasic used his portal device to take the newly formed EqU Team (who had their gear turned 'off' for the moment) to a place called Dustbowl. Together with his crew, they were taken to what was called the 'spawn room'. It was very dusty, and it reminded Rarity a bit of the mines where she was ponynapped to by the Diamond Dogs, although the lighting was yellow. There was a metal cabinet similar to the one back when they first came into this world. There were rails for a minecart and the only visible exit was up a wooden staircase, but it was blocked by a 'chain-link door'.

"All right.", said Thenam. "Let's review. Your mission here is to take the control point of the opposing team on the other side of this area. You take a control point by standing on it. The more of you there are, the faster it will take. All control points must be captured to achieve victory."

"I know it's still difficult to get used to, but as long as your panels are active and thus in your fighting gear, you cannot die.", added Jothicu. "When you get…taken out, you will be transported to a limbo room where you'll see how the rest of your team is doing. You can also communicate with them like to warn about something that sent you here. If you weren't taken down in one hit like from a Sniper's headshot or a Spy's backstab, you'll also be patched up by healing energy similar to those from the Medi Guns all Medics wield. After a couple of seconds, you'll be transported back to the spawn room, weapons fully loaded."

"Any questions?", asked Tasic. One hoof was raised; Twilight Sparkle's. "Yes, Twilight?"

"About this Respawn system, how does it work?"

"Good question.", said Thenam. "Ours doesn't operate like the system the RED and BLU Engineers designed, but it works like theirs. Each of your panels detect your life signs as well as immediate threats that can end it upon impact. When the latter is detected in the form of a projectile, fire, a bludgeon, or a backstab, it activates its self-preservation mechanism, and takes you to the limbo room. If you want to know more about ours or theirs, ask me after the mission, okay?"

"Okay."

"Well, mission begins in sixty seconds, so you better get ready." With that, Thenam, Jothicu, and Tasic walked down the rails and were gone, leaving the EqU team alone.

Twilight turned to her teammates as they all approached the staircase and tapped their cards, changing into their gear.

"Well, anypony got a plan?"

"I say we just wing it.", proposed Rainbow Dash.

"Wing it?"

"I think she means we should just improvise.", guessed Applejack. "Go **without** a plan."

Twilight seemed offended at this, then turned to Chronicle, who usually has a plan whenever she doesn't. He noticed and said, "I'm sorry to say this, Twilight, but I'll have to agree with Rainbow. None of us have any experience in battle. Well, I do, but not in this kind or with this gear. Other than the basics, winging it is all we can do. Besides, Tasic will evaluate us on our progress and point out our mistakes. And after enough of that, **then** we can make a plan."

"Mission begins in thirty seconds.", called out Tasic from the speakers.

"Do you think we can make it through this?", asked Fluttershy.

Chronicle took a deep breath and paused for a few seconds. "We have to.", he answered. "If we can't, then we've got no chance against BLU or RED, and we can't get you back home."

"Mission begins in ten seconds.", came Tasic.

"So let's give it our all, and show them that just because we look cute to them doesn't mean we can't kick ass!"

"Cute?!" Rainbow Dash gave him a stern look.

"Five." Tasic.

"Chronicle—"

"Four."

"Who're you calling cute?"

"Three."

"Shut it, Dash.", snapped Applejack.

"Two."

"It's starting."

"One."

"Let's do this.", declared Spike.

And with that, the door opened and the nine ran/flew into the fray, Rainbow Dash and Chronicle screaming their heads off, and the latter gunning down a BLU simulation Soldier that happened to be already in range of his minigun.

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And that's it for now.

"What?! Ending it that way?!"

Yeah. Sorry. I don't actually play _Team Fortress 2_.

"But you never really played _Kingdom Hearts_ either."

I played _Birth by Sleep_. And _Chain of Memories_.

"But you've written your Kingdom Hearts Remake series long before the former, while the latter is played differently."

Well, I couldn't find other sources of inspiration for Team Fortress 2 apart from videos.

Chronicle gives a sigh. "I'm not gonna argue any longer."

Good to hear. I will not be interacting with Pinkie Pie in this fic. See ya on Third!


	3. First Real Battle

"Are you sure this script is right?"

"Of course I'm sure."

Derpy Hooves was talking with Tasic about the next interview video. This time, unlike Chronicle's, she has a skit where she'll be drilling a line of 'recruits'.

"The script doesn't sound right even for me, and that's saying something.", said the pegasus.

"Trust me, it's good.", assured Tasic. "I even got muffins." Derpy seemed to perk up upon hearing that. "Do it like in the script and you can eat them, okay?"

"Okay."

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It's been two days since the EqU Team has been assembled and have had their first training battle at Dustbowl. Around this time, they have managed to learn how to use their weapons (and gadgets in the case of Applejack and Rarity) and use them effectively. Now, next to learn was strategy. They were doing a training mission in an area called Granary when RED suddenly attacked. Tasic and his crew were caught off guard as they were trying to keep EqU a secret for the time being.

In any case, the training mission was supposed to be a Capture mission, just like back at Dustbowl. EqU was the attacking team while RED simulations were the defending team. But the real deal then came, took out Thenam's system creating the simulations, and drove the EqU Team back. It was a frightening experience for EqU as they heard their war cries and trash talk as they retreated. While the Respawn system was working wonders, it could never cure them of those sociopathic words.

Still, they had to retaliate. This was what they've been training for two days to do. Granted, they still weren't experienced enough yet, but given the situation they were in, what was supposed to be another test battle has become their first real fight. This has become—as Jothicu calls it—a "moment of truth".

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The RED Pyro had just finished torching Applejack and Rarity until they were 'sent away' to the limbo room for recovery.

The Pyro had no idea why they didn't burn to death and leave crispy pony bodies, but he didn't mind that as he then thrust his weapon in the air and laughed triumphantly. It proved to be too soon to celebrate as a rocket from Derpy flew towards him and blasted him into pieces.

Over on another side of the field, the RED Demoman was drinking a bottle of rum. From her current position, Derpy aimed again (in spite of her eye condition) and fired, blowing up the Demoman.

She then looked down a hill to see a RED Heavy doing a taunt towards an injured Pinkie Pie. As he then made a "finger gun" expression and aimed it at Pinkie, she spontaneously disappeared in a flash of light; she had been 'sent away'.

Derpy immediately fired yet another rocket and body parts flew through the air one more time.

"Nice work, Derpy.", a voice came; It was Tasic's. He was communicating through the 'cards' the EqU team wore. "Didn't think they'd be using taunts to kill.", he then muttered. "I should remind Thenam to implement that in future simulations."

"Huh?" Derpy was confused.

"Never mind. Proceed to the next area." And with that, the grey pegasus was on her way.

(A/N: There's an alternation between two 'lines', just like in the "Meet the Soldier" video.)

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Sometime after the battle with RED…

The skit was being performed. Derpy in her Soldier gear was now facing the 'recruits' that were lined up. She looked rather serious and her eyes looked straight for the moment.

"Ready? Aaand…Action!" With a clapperboard on hand, Tasic slammed its clapstick and the take began.

"'If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight!'", Derpy said as she paced to the right, saying it just like they rehearsed it. She then turned to the 'recruits'. "Sun Talon said that." She then positioned herself in an upright position with her wings as she then lay a hoof on a 'recruit's' helmet. "And I'd say he knows a **little** more about fighting than you do, squirt, because he invented it." She then put her hoof off the helmet and got down on all fours again as she then paced to the left. "And then he perfected it so that no living pony, griffon, zebra, or whatever could best him in the ring of honor."

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At another area of Granary, Derpy was screaming with bravado, just like Rainbow Dash sometimes does. As she then charged forward, she encountered a RED Demoman shooting grenades at her, but she dodged them.

She then took him down with her shotgun as the launched grenades exploded behind her. As she switched to her rocket launcher, she heard Spike's voice, but she couldn't see him.

"To the left!", she heard him say. Around the same time, she felt some sharp things hit her at the helmet, the shovel on her back, and her rump. Derpy turned counterclockwise to see the RED Medic firing his "syringe gun".

"Wheat worms!", she spouted out randomly as she fired a rocket right at the Medic, who immediately burst into pieces.

As she continued running and reloading, Spike joined her on the right, catching up thanks to his skates, which enabled him to move as fast as the ponies.

"Let's move it!" To Derpy's left, Twilight Sparkle joined up with them, switching from her sniper rifle to her submachinegun. As they then entered a wide open field, Chronicle joined in.

"Go, go, go!", he cried out as the four charged into the battlefield ahead. Said battlefield had brown dry soil, and some equally dry tall grass. Behind some wooden panels that served as cover was Rainbow Dash, who was moderately injured. There was a shed to the left of the cover and there was a large pipeline connecting it to another building ahead, in which the REDs were attacking. These attackers consisted of a Scout, an Engineer and his (Level 2) Sentry Gun, a Sniper, a Soldier close to their control point, a Heavy, a (recently respawned) Medic, and a Demoman.

Chronicle stopped and opened fire, taking down the Soldier in spite of his distance, although he failed to dodge the rocket he managed to launch before dying.

Before it hit, the unicorn called out "Medic!", then was hit by the rocket and he reeled back for a second as he turned his minigun on the RED Medic. Two seconds later, as he tore him down, he felt the healing energy of Fluttershy's Medigun revitalize him.

However, he then felt a severe pain on the head—and he was suddenly at the limbo room; he had been headshot by the RED Sniper.

Back at the field, as Spike and Derpy ran towards Rainbow Dash, Twilight was getting Fluttershy (who then patched up Derpy) to do the same, assuring her that Chronicle is at the limbo room and will be back, although that meant he won't be able to help take the last control point for the next half-minute. And victory was so close…

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Relax-O-Vision

Derpy used a little contraption some metallic devices on her front hooves that acted like hands (Lyra would probably do **anything** to get her hooves on those). With these, she held up two dud Demoman's grenades.

"Then, he used the bits he earned to buy two of every possible pet on the planet. And then he herded them onto a boat…" She demonstrated by using the grenades, moving them in a walking motion. "…and then he beat the snot out of every single one." She then banged the two grenades together repeatedly.

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End Relax-O-Vision

Behind the cover the remainder of EqU were, Rainbow Dash was being healed up by Fluttershy as the former took down the Scout that sneaked up on them.

Right after Chronicle was 'sent away', the Heavy had retreated to the control point, now accompanied by the RED Pyro.

"Sentry ahead!", Rainbow warned Derpy, who continued to run toward the Sentry and its Engineer. Luckily, the former was out of ammo and the latter was shooting at Derpy with his pistol. The grey pegasus evaded the best she could and jumped over the two, aiming her rocket launcher down on them, and fired. The rocket destroyed both the Engineer and his Sentry and gave Derpy a little boost, not that she needed it as she could fly.

She landed on the pipeline and began to run across it. Below, the RED Sniper had managed to 'send away' Rarity, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie as they came from where they went in and into his sights before Twilight took him and the Demoman down with her sniper rifle, then had to take cover again as the RED Heavy continued to fire at their location. It would take a few seconds before their other teammates could come and help.

Chronicle still had quite a ways to go to get back to their current position, even with the Teleporters Applejack built thanks to her Engineer gear. While both of them know the teleportation spell, they weren't completely used to the area, and it _might_ mess up with the 'cards' that provide them their gear (and protect them from death by way of the Respawn system). As of this moment, it was up to Derpy now.

Luckily, she was able to deliver as she made it to where the Heavy and Pyro were. She jumped, aimed her rocket launcher downward, and fired again, killing them both.

Derpy landed a second afterward, but no timer went off for the capturing to begin. She switched her rocket launcher with her shovel, which she then held with her mouth, and then jumped back…slamming her butt into a decloaking RED Spy that was about to backstab her.

The Spy dropped to the ground on his back, and then Derpy got up and swung her shovel at his head, taking him down and killing him.

Around six seconds later, Tasic's voice echoed through the speakers in the area.

"Victory!", he whooped. Immediately, any remaining REDs in the area began to run about in shame, leaving the remainder of EqU Team confused as on what to do. Just at that moment, the EqUs that had been 'sent away' earlier managed to arrive.

"Aww!", complained Pinkie as she took off her mask. "We're late to the party!"

"I think we won.", said Applejack.

"But why are they running around like that?", Rarity wondered.

"It's called Humiliation.", explained Tasic through the speakers as Rainbow Dash decided to have some fun on one of the REDs that nearly 'sent her away' earlier. "They do this after a loss. The only way for us to completely reclaim this area is to take them all down. The control point capture is for them to no longer put up any resistance."

"Hold on. Do you mean we have to…"

"They'll respawn like always. Just not here."

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Derpy's eyes spun about for a second before she spoke again. "And from that day forth anytime a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a zoo!", she finished. As it turned out, the 'recruits' were actually nine jumbo-sized blueberry muffins perched on a table, all with RED Soldier helmets and paper masks from Rarity's Disguise Kit, and a camera propped up behind them. One of the muffins, the one with the Medic mask on it, then fell of the table for some reason. As scripted, Derpy bent down to it and added, "Unless it's a farm! Or Fluttershy's cottage."

"Cut!", declared Tasic. "Nice work, Derpy. You can have the muffins now."

"Yay!" With that, Derpy tapped somewhere on her clothes and, in a flash of light, she no longer wore her Soldier gear. She gently removed the mask the muffin had, then began to munch on the delicious pastry. The mask was then covered in a blue aura as it floated into the air. In a shimmer, Rarity in her Spy gear appeared. She then proceeded to 'take' the other masks and pack them back in her Disguise Kit, then looked into the mirror in it that replaced the cigarettes. Nopony smoked, and nopony was about to start.

"Thanks for lending me the masks, Rarity."

"You're most welcome, Tasic.", the white unicorn answered as she 'stored' the masks, put the Kit back in her saddlebag, then tapped somewhere on her suit and she reverted to her regular appearance. "However, I can't help but wonder how these masks work."

"Another time. We had a long day, especially after our bout with RED. Training resumes tomorrow. And hopefully, we won't have to fight with them again or BLU anytime soon."

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nightelf37: And that's it for now.

Chronicle: What the hay was that? How did the Heavy take out Pinkie Pie with a finger gun?

nightelf37: It's the Showdown Taunt. It can insta-kill if aimed right.

Chronicle: Okay. What's with using 'send away' as a euphemism for the death of one of us yet not doing so for the REDs and BLUs?

nightelf37: It's because of their Respawn system; they don't die per se and get sent to the limbo room instead. I think the Respawn system of the REDs and BLUs create new bodies and implant them with the memories of their replacement prior seconds before death and a couple seconds after.

Chronicle: What of this…Sun Talon?

nightelf37: I didn't think there'd be a pony version of Sun Tzu, the author of a book titled _The Art of War_, a military strategy book, so I settled for something that would sound appropriate for a griffon. And I don't think war would be something widely known to ponies, considering…you know… Besides, Sun Hoofz is too ponified a name, and it has already been taken in another story. And for the masks, I'll explain how they work in another chapter. See ya on Third!


	4. A Night Out

Two nights after the bout with RED at Granary, Team EqU has had a touch of bad luck. None of the areas he could transport them to weren't under the Administrator's watchful eye. And so they were camped somewhere outside an area called Gravel Pit. The majority of EqU were inside a large trailer that was soundproof and could house eight ponies, one baby dragon, three humans, and a fair number of contraptions made by one of them. Most of them were asleep, and a few contraptions of Thenam's were activated.

Outside the tent on watch were Tasic, Twilight Sparkle, and Applejack. Accompanying them were three copies of the latter, whose manes were "palette swaps" of the original, and were—for some reason—in colors that reminded Applejack of her family; namely Big Macintosh (red coat, orange mane), Granny Smith (green coat, grey mane), and Apple Bloom (yellow coat, red mane). She shed a single tear as the four of them constructed Dispensers and Sentry Guns (all colored orange) to defend themselves for the night. It was apparent that she missed her family and was trying to be strong.

The copies were constructed by Thenam's "Copyspawn system". As they have experienced in their first training mission at Dustbowl, sometimes there's more than one of a certain 'class'. And after the hectic battle with RED at Granary, Thenam modified his simulation bot-creating machine so that it also created simulation bots of the EqU Team. So as not to be confused with the originals, they are intentionally colored differently from them. However, for some reason, none can be created unless their original is in the battlefield.

While the EqU Engineer clones were upgrading their Sentry Guns, Tasic made a campfire for warmth close to Applejack as she finished constructing hers and was upgrading it to Level 2. Using the metallic attachment on her foreleg, she held the wrench and whacked at the machine as it "folded out".

"Applejack, do you have a minute or two?"

"In a few.", the orange earth pony replied as she whacked her wrench at the Sentry Gun and finished the upgrade. "Okay. What do you want?"

"I was hoping to do our interview right now. You got the script?"

"Now?"

"Yeah."

"…Can't hurt, I guess."

Tasic quickly took out a camera and and made a quick set-up. Once he was ready, he held the clapperboard and said, "Aaand…Action!" A second after the clapstick was slammed, the earth pony began to speak.

"Howdy there. I'm Applejack, and I'm EqU's Engineer. I'll admit that the gadgets I made aren't that different from those of RED and BLU. And yeah, I pretty much ripped off from them and I have them to thank for because unlike them, I don't even have a single 'PhD', whatever that is. As a matter of fact, I am **absolutely clueless** as to how these things work, only the basics on operatin' them and that they do work."

"Are you sure you should be saying that?", whispered Tasic.

"Can't help being honest. I'm a very bad liar."

"Okay. Anything else you'd like to admit?"

"I'd like to admit that math isn't my strong suits, but I'm learning, especially when you told me those Heavies know more about it than I do."

"Yeah. I remember the look on your face." All of a sudden, a rocket headed their way. Both of them jumped out of where it would hit, stumbling a bit as Twilight then found a BLU Soldier that fired it and took him down with one shot. Miraculously, Tasic's camera was unharmed as he retrieved it. "Darn it." He took out a different handheld contraption from his clothes and spoke to it. "Thenam, I need one more EqU Sniper."

In a few seconds, emerging from the tent was a white unicorn with a mane that had shades of orange, red, and yellow. She donned the Sniper's gear and was clearly a clone of Twilight Sparkle as can be seen by the cutie mark and hairstyle. She moved to the side opposite where her original was and began sniping some other unseen assailants. Soon, more came into view and range of the Sentry Guns and they opened fire.

"Tasic, I think you should get back into the tent and let us handle this. And hopefully last the night."

"Okay. One more question. What do you think of the answer the RED and BLU Engineers give when it comes to solving practical problems?"

"About using a gun, then using 'more gun' if that don't work? Well, I say if it don't work no matter how much 'gun' you use, you can always count on your friends. Or perhaps allies is the more correct term in this case. I remember the time when I tried doin' something hard on my own and refusing help; it ended in a poisoned town and a bunny stampede."

"What?!"

"But that's in the past. You better go inside and get some sleep."

"You too, Applejack. Just don't change out of your gear so that your copies could stick around."

"Okay."

"Sorry the script wasn't good. I'll fix it up soon."

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The next day…

The EqU Team had managed to last the night against BLU.

"For now, your respawn room is here in this trailer.", Tasic said.

The trailer, which was now camouflaged to look like a boulder, was parked a few yards outside an entrance to Gravel Pit. RED and BLU were currently up against each other there. Tasic, Jothicu, and Thenam now faced the EqU Team, who formed a line.

"Okay. Is it clear what your mission is?"

"We force RED out of Gravel Pit, then we follow with BLU.", answered Chronicle. "Or we can force BLU out first, then RED. Whichever is easiest."

"You got it."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes. We have it all figured out and found where their Respawn systems are operating. Once we break that down, they won't be respawning here."

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The EqU Team were now positioned somewhere in the middle of Gravel Pit, where RED and BLU are bound to come shortly.

"All right, everypony.", said Chronicle. "Let's gear up!"

With that, the nine members tapped on their 'cards' and they were in their 'mercenary' gear in less than 10 seconds flat. And about time too as the RED and BLU Scouts were the first to enter their sights. No doubt the rest will follow.

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nightele37: And that's it for now. Again.

Chronicle: 'Let's gear up'? Almost sounds a bit like something out of a TV show. Something called "By the Power of Grayskull!"

nightelf37: That's a trope. And yes. I thought it'd better come around eventually. See ya on Third!


	5. Conquest of Gravel Pit

"Okay…Action!" Tasic slammed the clapstick of his clapperboard and his 'interview' with Spike began. The baby dragon was standing on a chair in front of a table that had on it a saucer with sprinkled donuts, a tankard of soft cider, and his gem-on-a-stick.

"What makes me a good Demoman?", the dragon said. "Well, I don't know. I mean, it's only been like a week since we began doing all this blowing stuff up."

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Team EqU has managed to repel RED from Gravel Pit and have taken control of their facilities. Now, all that's left is BLU.

"Let's do it, everypony!", he cried out, raising his grenade launcher as his teammates bypassed him. "Yee-haw!" He then activated his skates and followed them out of a drop-down corridor. Just in time too as rockets from BLU Soldiers and Level 3 Sentry Guns headed there. He cruised along the wall of the building they just exited and said, "We'll show them what we Equestrians can do!"

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At the interview…

"I gotta be grateful for these bad boys.", Spike said as he raised a leg to show one of his skates. "Without these, I'd be unable to catch up with the rest of my friends as I can't get far on just two short legs. I'm also younger than they are, even though I'll live longer."

"Any distinct differences between you and the Demomen of RED and BLU?", asked Tasic.

"Well, I may be smaller than those black dudes, but I'm as tough as they are."

"I thought your dragon scales would make you **much** tougher than them."

"Against my outer body, perhaps. But on the inside, explosions, bullets, and all other kinds of concussive damage can still hurt a lot."

Spike then decided to take a donut and started chowing down on it. Tasic sighed and turned to a videocam, which contained a compilation of videos of the action at Gravel Pit. He was going to put the scenes together with this interview, but because Spike had been hungry since that battle, he decided to look over the videos to see if they could fit properly.

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Spike was fleeing from a Pyro pursuing him. While he can withstand the flames, the 'card' that granted him his Demoman gear didn't and it registered the damage as 'normal' as it would on any of his teammates and he would be 'sent away' should he remain on fire for long, depending on how much damage he's taken so far. However, since he doesn't burn up due to his scales, the 'card' doesn't register lingering burn damage. That was another advantage he had over the Demomen.

As he turned a short corner, he shot a grenade to the wall and it bounced off it as he turned again. The grenade went straight for the Pyro, blowing him up to bits.

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"You know, it's surprising that ponies can endure lots of stuff normal humans—even those of this world—can't survive unscathed.", Tasic rambled. "I mean, you mentioned that Twilight had a piano dropped on her, she got hit by dragon breath, some of your kind have taken a full charge from buffaloes, and Rainbow Dash once hit a mountain at jet speed. No human could survive any of that without severe injuries, yet ponies only get stunned for a second or four. And that's saying something."

However, Spike wasn't paying attention as he continued to wolf down the donuts, then take a swig of cider.

Tasic continued, "If what Rainbow Dash said was true about her pulling off the Sonic Rainboom, ponies can apparently sustain over 1600 G-forces. That's the force of gravity times sixteen hundred! And she can reach Mach 5 easily?! You're automatically awesome in my book just by being a freakin' dragon, but your pony friends really blow my mind with their fortitude."

Spike still wasn't listening as he then proceeded to lick his gem-on-a-stick. Tasic sighed as he then turned back to his videocam.

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In another part of Gravel Pit, a BLU Level 2 Sentry Gun was being upgraded to Level 3 by its Engineer, who also had a Dispenser nearby. Coming right at him were the EqU Demoman (Spike) and an EqU Scout (not Rainbow Dash, but a grayscale-maned, brownish gold-coated copy of her).

"Consarn it.", cursed the Engineer as he whacked faster and finished the upgrade. Now with rocket launchers, the Sentry launched a salvo at the two EqU mercs.

At that instant, the EqU Scout took out her pistol, fired a few bullets, and managed to land a headshot on the Engineer, damaging his buildings in the process.

However, while she and Spike managed to dodge the rockets, she was then gunned down by the Sentry's machinegun and she disappeared in the same manner as all EqU members when they get 'sent away'.

Meanwhile, Spike managed to fire a couple of grenades, all of which bounced their way to the Sentry Gun, which aimed its turrets at them in a futile attempt of self-preservation. The grenades made their way to the BLU Engineer's buildings and detonated, destroying the Sentry and the Dispenser.

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Spike slammed his now empty tankard down on the table, giving out a sigh.

"What's wrong, Spike?", asked Tasic.

"For some reason, I feel like the odd one out. Not only am I a dragon, aside from Chronicle, I'm the only male in this group." Tasic was about to speak up when Spike began again. "Who is actively fighting head-on against RED and BLU in these 'war games' of theirs."

"And…"

"Nothing. Just thought I'd say it."

"Oh, I see."

"By the way, you want to hear about my life story?"

"It's okay, you don't have to—"

"Well, I started out as a cute little purple-and-green egg…"

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At the final Capture Point in Gravel Pit…

Behind the rest, Spike skated out to the final capture point…only to see a group of BLUs headed towards him with smug expressions on their faces. A Heavy, Medic, Spy, Soldier, and Sniper. Behind them, he could see the dropped weapons of some of his fallen comrades. Of course, they've been 'sent away', but that means it was gonna take a while before they can return. Alone, the baby dragon obviously didn't stand a chance. Any attacks he can do will only be healed by the Medic, and the other BLUs would do their best to protect him. And with so many of them…

Suddenly, Spike had a plan. Getting a devious look, he retreated, the BLUs in hot pursuit. His remaining fellow EqU allies were still far behind, and they're so close to victory. And the only aid he can expect is from the EqU Scouts. And neither of them, not even Rainbow Dash, can provide enough support. After running through a short tunnel and exiting its door frame, Spike suddenly met up with another EqU Demoman. This one looked just like him, only his spiny plates were orange, his underbelly periwinkle, his ears a lighter shade of orange, and his scales a shade of purple darker than Spike's own. Spike stopped to give a high five which his clone returned, then they turned to the door frame.

"I have a plan.", Spike said. "And I need your help."

"Aye!", his clone replied, his voice identical to Spike's but also sounding a bit like that of the RED and BLU Demomen. "What is it you need me to do?"

Spike answered by shooting stickybombs at the frame. "Follow my lead." The clone proceeded to do so and in less than ten seconds, they were done. Now, all they could do was wait as BLU was coming shortly.

Spike told his copy to move out of view for this trap to work and he did so. Already, Rainbow Dash could be seen coming their way from afar. While she can obviously go much faster, it would mess up with her 'card', which is the only thing keeping her alive whilst in these "war games". Just then, the BLUs pursuing Spike came into view. It was time.

He could see the Heavy turn the corner, accompanied by his Medic and the others. He turned to face them, stickybomb launcher in hand, quivering in his skates as they approached. _Closer…closer…_ Finally, the Heavy was within range. Unfortunately, he noticed it too. Fortunately, it was too late as the rest came into range as well. Turning to his fellow Demoman, they both pushed a button on their stickybomb launchers and their trap on the door was activated. The bombs blew up, taking all the BLUs with them.

Spike had turned away as body parts and blood rained down on the area where he and his clone detonated their stickybombs. Just as Rainbow reached them, he said to her, "Let's hurry! They won't stay dead for long."

The blue pegasus did a quick look of the scene and slightly cringed from it, but quickly picked up the pace. "On it!"

Eventually, EqU has managed to claim the last capture point and Gravel Pit was theirs.

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"…and that's the story of my whole entire life!", he finished. "Well, up until we got here. Do you want to hear about it?"

"No, thank you.", Tasic responded. "I'm sure I know all about it. In fact, I didn't even want to hear your story at all."

"Oh, sorry. I don't what just got into me."

Just then, Twilight Sparkle entered the room, out of her Sniper gear and with a pen and sheet of paper levitated close to her. She then turned to Spike, Tasic, then Spike again. "Oh, am I interrupting anything?"

"Not at all.", replied Tasic. "We were just finished."

"Okay." She then turned to her assistant. "Spike, can you try and send this letter?"

"You really think it can work?", the baby dragon was skeptical.

"Well, even if Tasic here can probably take us back, I still want to find out if I can send letters between worlds."

"Okay.", said Tasic as he took the letter and scanned it. "I **am** a mite curious whether or not this will succeed."

"Ler's find out, then.", said Spike as he took the sheet, drew a breath, then blew his green fire into the paper, which dissolved into ashes and smoke, flew into the air and out of sight.

"Neat. I think it worked."

"I wouldn't hold your breath if I were you. The only way to know for sure is if I burp up a letter in return soon."

"Burp up a letter?"

"That's how I receive letters from the Princess."

"…I'm not even gonna ask. You two can go now." With that, the two Equestrians left the room. A while later, Tasic realized he forgot something; he hasn't stopped the recording on his camera. "Crap!"

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nightlelf37: And that's it for now.

Chronicle: Will you be ending the chapter like that over and over?

nightlelf37: No. I'll be ending the chapter like **this** over an over.

Chronicle: What, then?

nightlelf37: See ya on Third!

Chronicle smacks himself in the face with his hoof.


	6. Needs to be 20 percent Cooler

Yet another day has passed since the EqU Team has started fighting back RED and BLU in their territories. Right now, their fight was against RED in Well and they were waiting behind some warehouse doors. As the doors rose, revealing the team getting ready, Rainbow Dash got a good look of the other side.

Stationed around the center point were various REDs. At the second floor, a Sniper was looking out through one window, a Spy was casually smoking a cigarette, and an Engineer was industriously making defensive preparations as he passed the former two. Somewhere to the left, a Pyro watched his fellow Soldier juggle some rockets.

"Let's go, everypony!", Rainbow heard Twilight Sparkle declare as they all ran out to attack the point. The blue pegasus charged in with the others as the RED Engineer got a Level 1 Sentry Gun on the ready as it then fired on them.

Already, as she dodged a Soldier's rocket, Rainbow quickly outpaced all her teammates as she made her way to the center of the area, strafing any attacks directed at her. As she flew in a low altitude, she reminded herself to control her speed. For some reason, the 'card' that provides her Scout gear reacts negatively whenever she exceeds the running speed of her RED and BLU counterparts. Also, after having many a scrape (and 'deaths') from it, she refrained from just taking off into the air, which would leave her extremely vulnerable to the Sniper.

Just as she was within the Sentry's range, she fired a few shots as she crossed the railroad tracks in the area before exiting it again as it was promptly destroyed by a rocket from Derpy.

As EqU continued to attack, Rainbow found herself being pursued by a Soldier and Pyro. Entering a building through the gate where a train was oncoming, she baited the two in running on the tracks. Soon, the train came in and ran them over as Rainbow then flew over the train to get to a hallway on the other side that led deeper into the building.

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"Aaand…Action!" Tasic slammed the clapstick of his clapperboard and his 'interview' with Rainbow Dash began. The camera was propped up in such a way that all it covered was a large wall. On the wall was a blue poster with a white frame. There were the words "Meet the Scout". There was also an icon of a bat, an outline drawing of Rainbow Dash, and a few words on the bottom. They read "Team Fortress 2", "COPYRIGHT LOLOLOL", and "A Valve Picture".

On cue, Rainbow Dash, in her Scout gear, walked into view of the camera.

_Just how did you convince me of doing this…_ "Uhh…I don't even know where to start. Not only this is not Equestria, this is also—oh, hold on, I still remember the time I was treated like a superheroine of Ponyville, and then there was that Mysterious Mare Do Well, and—"

"We're getting off subject here.", warned Tasic. "Why not just start from the top?"

"Okay." Rainbow then cleared her throat. "I'm Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in all of Equestria. I serve as EqU's Scout."

"Good. Continue."

She then flew up close to the camera. "And you Scouts of RED and BLU, if you're listenin', I'm gonna tell you right now that I'm way cooler than you could ever be!"

"Rainbow…", Tasic tried to cut in.

"About 20 percent cooler perhaps!"

"Rainbow…"

"And hey, didn't I just see you guys cry before I blew you back into Respawn?"

"Rainbow! About why those Scouts crying upon seeing you up close, it's something the Spies of the opposing teams said about them."

"What?"

"I quote from Spy, 'This is Scout! Rainbows make me cry!' And look at yourself. Hell, even your name says it all."

The pegasus said nothing and just stared for a couple of seconds before bawling in laughter and falling over. She continued doing this until her sides were sore. "Oh, I can't believe the Scouts are like that. Such a thing that brings happiness drive them to tears?"

"I know, right? Mind telling us that delicious thing you found while defending Granary?"

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In Granary…

At the third control point, the RED Heavy was sitting on it, looking rather wiped, and taking out what seemed to be a sandwich. As Rainbow Dash went in ahead to claim it while her teammates dealt with the other REDs, she saw the large man about to dig into his food. It wasn't anything like the sandwiches back in Equestria, and it looked so delicious. While everybody (inc. Spike and the humans) had all eaten a large satiating salad cooked up by Thenam prior to the battle, Rainbow was still a little hungry and the chance to eat the Heavy's sandwich was so tempting.

She came up at him from behind, discreetly jumped on a crate, then tapped the RED Heavy on the head with a hoof. "Hey, what's up?", she asked.

She was answered with the Heavy crying out in rage as he began to swing his fists at her. Naturally, with her speed, Rainbow was able to dodge his blows effortlessly. At one point, she then jumped onto his back, pulled out her bat, and strangled the Heavy with it. She doesn't use the bat often, resorting to her hooves for melee as she can't hold the bat well. As a matter of fact, she wondered why she even had the thing anyway.

Just then, the Heavy managed to grab Rainbow by the mane, pulled her out, and the situation quickly turned around so that he how had her in a headlock. With her back so close to his chest, she couldn't use her wings, so she did the next best thing; kick the Heavy somewhere. She landed a hoof on the shin, forcing him to let go. After putting some distance between them, Rainbow turned around, then slammed the Heavy on the gut with her head. She then followed by turning around and delivering a buck at him on the chin, sending him flying for a second before he crashed into the ground, dropping his sandwich in the process.

As the Heavy rolled onto his stomach and tried to reach for his sandwich, Rainbow ran up the side of a shipping container, jumped off of it and delivered a flying kick into the Heavy's head and he was down for the count.

Eying the downed Heavy, and not wondering why he hasn't disappeared, she went over to the dropped sandwich and inspected it. Topped with a green stuffed olive and pinned to it by a toothpick, between the slices of bread were lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, and an indeterminate red something Tasic and the other humans didn't want ponies eating; meat.

It was a mildly uncomfortable experience for the humans to explain their omnivorous diets to the ponies, although Fluttershy seemed to be a bit okay with it, having fed non-plant food to carnivores she cared for throughout her career as Ponyville's animal caretaker. Rainbow was a bit okay as well, having been friends with an omnivore once before finding out she'd been a jerk to her current friends. She's yet to reconcile with Gilda as she had promised Chronicle she'd do.

In any case, she carefully managed the sandwich with her wings, removed the meat, then took a bite out of the tasty snack. To her surprise, it was actually good. In fact, she could feel her bruises from her fight with the Heavy go away. _Now this is an interesting snack._, she thought. _Everypony should have a taste, too. Although they should remove the meat first._

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Back at the interview, after explaining the events at Granary…

"Grass grows, birds fly, Celestia's sun shines, and buddy, I move clouds."

"…What?", asked Tasic.

"Those Scouts got nothing on me! I am literally a force of nature! Unfortunately, the clouds in here are so up high I can't show you and they're like the ones in the Everfree Forest."

"I already told you that what you don't think of as natural about that forest you mentioned is natural in this world." Tasic paused for a moment as he paused the camera. "And almost every other world that isn't Equestria."

"Really?!"

"But then one of you girls mentioned Discord, and judging by what she said about him and his powers, I got a crazy theory."

"What?"

"A long time ago, Equestria's nature was like nature in nearly all other worlds; self-managing. And then Twilight mentioned that Discord once ran rampant before being stopped by Princesses Celestia and Luna. I think so much chaos had been spread that the old order of nature was damaged too much that it was unrestorable, resulting in the need for ponies to manage nature manually."

Rainbow just stood there, remaining silent for a while before saying, "I think that's something you should talk to Twilight about."

"Right. Theories are for, as you say, eggheads."

"Uh-huh."

"I think I'll go out on a limb and assume you're bored. We'll stop here." Tasic then packed the camera as Rainbow tapped her 'card' as resumed her regular appearance. "Thank you for your time, Rainbow Dash."

"I kinda liked it too. And remember not to speak in idioms or sarcasm around Pinkie Pie. She's rather literal-minded."

"I see. Thanks for the pointer."

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nightelf37: And that's it for now.

Chronicle: I thought this takes place after _It's About Time_.

nightelf37: Well, I made these series before _Read it and Weep_, so I'm not gonna mention Daring Do, even though I admittedly gave her a sort-of appearance. As for mentioning Twilight getting hit by dragon breath, let's just say her first days with Spike had their bad times. See ya on Third!


	7. A Letter to the Princess

As EqU made its way to another area via their trailer, with Tasic on the wheel and Chronicle "riding shotgun", Jothicu was telling some kind of story to Fluttershy while he continued his research (particularly on something called the ÜberCharge), Spike was licking at his gem-on-a-stick, Rainbow Dash was boredly resting on a 'hammock' Tasic had set up, and Thenam was making some tasty treats alongside Derpy Hooves, Pinkie Pie, and Applejack while explaining to Rarity about her Spy gear's masks. As for Twilight Sparkle, she was writing a letter on a piece of paper, using a 'pen' Jothicu provided.

_Dear Princess Celestia, _

_I hope this message makes its way to you._

_It's been ten days since we've been mysteriously sent to this world. Me, Chronicle, Spike, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Derpy Hooves. I have no idea why Derpy is with us as she isn't…well… Anyway, I'd like to talk about what we're doing here._

_As I have mentioned in my previous letter, we're fighting against some rather strange enemies. Thanks to our friend here, we've obtained equipment equivalent to theirs so we can fend them off. _

Twilight stopped writing for a moment as she looked back at one of her finer moments, not that she takes pride in it.

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During one 'mission', Twilight had set her sights on the RED Heavy. Remembering some pointers from Tasic, she held her breath so that her breathing wouldn't affect her aim, then fired. The bullet hit directly on the head…and struck the bottle his fellow Demoman was drinking from.

The bottle shattered, causing its top half half to lodge itself in his remaining eye. Naturally, the Demoman flailed around, bumped into a wall in the process (which lodged the bottle further in), took out his Grenade Launcher, and fired grenades wildly in the air before falling over a ledge and down into a cluster of barrels containing some dangerous stuff. The Demoman's grenades fell there as well and exploded…causing the barrels to explode as well, obviously killing the Demoman.

"Oww." was all Twilight could say, cringing at how she took down two enemies with one bullet. Technically, the Demoman finished himself off, but she was indirectly responsible for it.

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After a while, after their trailer passed over a "rumble strip", Twilight resumed writing.

_My task as the team's Sniper is relatively comfortable. I still get a bit queasy before starting a battle due to needing to kill our foes, and while they somehow always come back, it doesn't make me feel any better. Chronicle seems to be taking it better than any of us, though. Still, I have to watch out for Scouts headed by way and Spies creeping up from behind. Several times I was so focused on taking out an Engineer, Heavy, or Medic when I was suddenly sent to the limbo room because a Spy stabbed me in the back._

_I'm sure everypony back home is probably worried about us. Our families, our pets, the Cakes, Carrot Top, and Mystic Shield to name a few. And who knows when some sort of evil comes out while we're gone and the Elements of Harmony are needed?_

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During a 'mission' in Gold Rush… Well, that wouldn't be perfectly accurate. In truth, the EqU Team were just resting around in the place, specifically the area called "Stage 3", when BLU came in on the attack. However, unlike last time, EqU was ready and already had positions set, learning from last time at Dustbowl. For some reason, they had entered the area via the train tracks that spanned the area, and they were pushing a cart of some kind. It was seen before back at Target.

"Oh, snap!", cursed Tasic. "That's a Payload bomb! If they push that to the checkpoint at the back, we're finished! Team EqU, battle positions, now!"

Of course, as EqU hastily prepared themselves (and Thenam prepared the "Copyspawn system"), BLU were on their way, and Twilight's teammates were fending them off. However, a few have bypassed them and were securing positions ahead. As Twilight scanned the area for those BLUs, she thought she saw a Sniper aiming at her.

"Hmm…I wonder if he saw me…", she mused out loud as she glanced away from the scope for a moment. She was answered by a bullet ricocheting off the ledge under her. "Aah! Yes, he did!", she then cried out as she took cover and left her position.

As she made her way to a different vantage point, she sensed a Spy coming right for her from behind. To the unaided eye, all that could be seen was a shimmer. But thanks to her magic, she got a fairly more specific hint on his whereabouts. She then remembered that Thenam had told her teleporting was okay, but only for short distances.

And that was what she did. One second, her horn was glowing and the next, she was gone in a flash of light. She then emerged a pace behind the Spy, who had stopped in puzzlement when she disappeared. Then, 'taking out' the "kukri", she 'thrust' it right into the Spy's back. Next, she came up close and used her memory spell on him. She once used it to restore her friends from Discord's spell; now she used it to remove the knowledge of her teleportation from the Spy's mind as he'd remember it after being respawned.

Finally, the Spy fell to the floor as Twilight 'pulled' her blade off of his back, looking rather grossed out from the need to attack up close.

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Twilight then paused and wondered if she had to mention… Well, one time, while they rested in Gold Rush after fending off BLU, she had been stationed at one of the "Sniper Decks". While it had been relatively quiet, she was supposed to wait and stand guard. She also had to stay alert and Jothicu provided a dark brown drink called coffee to help her stay awake. Fortunately, she didn't end up going 'high' and hyperactive as the medical researcher (and a few of her friends) had feared.

Still, there was that urine problem; if she had to stay at her post, how was she to relieve herself? The answer was she do so with a jar. After realizing it'd be too gross, she decided not to write that down, or the fact she can throw them at enemies to force them to lower their guard.

_There are also some things I'd like to remark about the Sniper's standards. "Be polite. Be efficient. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet." Of course, I'm not gonna follow the last one since that isn't for peaceful ponies like us. Being efficient, I know I'll have to follow. As for being polite, as far as I can tell, there was that one time where I realized too late that I ended up offending Pinkie Pie when I offered to help her with babysitting the Cake twins. I sorely regretted myself once I realized it a few hours after. As for the Sniper, he doesn't seem to be following that standard either as his insults he makes are rather offensive._

She thought back at one on his phrases she had heard he said.

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At Gold Rush…

"You prancin' show ponies!", the BLU Sniper said from his vantage point after sniping Fluttershy, Derpy, Pinkie, and an EqU Sniper clone in ten seconds (flat).

At that second, Rarity came up from behind. "I'll show you prancing show ponies!", she said as she 'drew' her revolver and fired two shots at his head, killing him.

His death gave EqU enough time to mount a solid defensive, but it wasn't enough.

Thankfully, the bomb ended up disarming itself as its timer ran out before it reached the checkpoint. No one had any idea why this was so, but in any case, BLU started running around, Humiliation in effect as EqU sealed another victory.

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Once again, Twilight resumed writing.

_Well, I don't think it's a good idea to let anyone else know what we've been through. Well, I gotta go. We got another day ahead of us. I already miss Equestria, my home, and you most of all, Princess Celestia._

_Your faithful student (and Sniper-in-training),_

_Twilight Sparkle_

With that, she 'passed' the pen to the nearest person. In this case, it was Thenam, who was just finished with one last batch of muffins and cupcakes. After he took it, she then 'rolled up' the paper she was writing on, was given a ribbon to tie the letter in, then 'gave' it to Spike, who shrugged and blew his green fire on it, turning it into smoke as it left the trailer through the ventilation system. She then gave a sigh, catching the attention of the others (except Rainbow, who was asleep).

"What's wrong, Twilight?", asked Pinkie.

"Well, all of this. Or at least us doing all this fighting and killing." Even Fluttershy, whose role thanks to her 'class' doesn't primarily focus on it, had to kill a few times before.

In particular, there was that one time where the REDs whittled down one of the small groups she was in until she was the last one left. For some reason, they had decided to just close in slowly on her rather than just 'send her away' like they did with the rest. It ended up being one of the biggest mistakes they had ever made; rage took over her, they were paralyzed in place when she used the Stare on them, and before they knew it they were all swiftly slaughtered with the "bonesaw". Of course, they (nor BLU, seemingly) never made that mistake ever since.

And each time she ended up killing, she always broke down in tears once the deed was done, unable to be of any assistance until the battle has ended, requiring Thenam to send in a replacement Medic during those times. Many times she had to be consoled, by Jothicu and Chronicle in particular.

"I'm worried as what this might do to all of us. And even if they do keep coming back, it still doesn't help."

"And we all regret having to do this, really.", replied Jothicu. "Tasic is rather torn about this, you know."

"Yeah…"

Before the conversation could continue, Spike suddenly gagged, then burped up a burst of green fire, which then formed into a sealed scroll, which dropped to the floor, there were gasps from everypony who saw the scroll. The gasps also woke Rainbow from her sleep.

"Is that what I think it is?", asked Jothicu.

"It's a letter from the Princess!", gasped the baby dragon.

"Princess? As in Princess Celestia?!"

"The one and only!"

Immediately, Twiight ran over, took the letter, and started to read it. "My dearest, most faithful student Twilight…"

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And that's it for now.

"Really?! You just ended it right there?!"

Don't really know what to put in. Sorry.

"Don't you think Twilight might've been…out of character for this?"

Sorry again. I don't write other characters too well extensively.

"Okay. Why is Carrot Top mentioned in the letter?"

Well, in case **you** didn't know, in fanon, Carrot Top (also named Golden Harvest) is Derpy's closest friend. And as for this Mystic Shield, he is an original character in _Shisno Chronicles: Friendship is Magic_, somepony Chronicle meets and starts up a dojo with. If you want to know a bit more about that, read the story provided in the link. See ya on Third!


	8. Side Mission

After Rainbow Dash had returned with another Heavy's sandwich (complete with the meat, she had completely consumed the first one), the food item—seconds before Pinkie Pie consumed it completely, meat included—was quickly given a short analysis by Thenam. After Pinkie then spat out the meat, which had somehow remained untouched save for saliva, from the analysis, it was revealed that the sandwich was no ordinary (though delicious) sandwich. It was a "Sandvich Edible Device", a special food item that can somehow heal whoever eats it of moderate injuries. For some strange reason, it heals Scouts of slightly heavier wounds. As for Heavies…well, EqU extra task is now to acquire another Sandvich to find out.

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During a battle in some area whose name he couldn't recall, Chronicle was on the run alongside an EqU Medic clone (white coat, same pink hair, akin to Nurse Redheart). He had to make do with this one as Fluttershy ended up killing a RED Engineer in battle and was once again in tears. "Not again!", Tasic had complained. Right now, they were fleeing from an oncoming regiment of two Soldiers, one Scout, and two Demomen. In a good day, he could take them all on, but it wasn't a good day today.

As he fled alongside the EqU Medic, he then saw some others who were in need of her help more than him. At the area below, the RED Heavy (ÜberCharged by his Medic) was gunning down on a copy of himself (white coat, blue-purple hair), Applejack, and the Level 3 Sentry she set up, with an EqU Soldier (light cyan mane, light gold coat) headed their way as backup.

"Medic! Support them!", Chronicle directed. "They need your help more than I do."

"Jawohl.", she replied as she split off from him and made her way down to comply with his directive. It was a little disconcerting to hear Fluttershy's voice with the accent of the BLU and RED Medics, but he shook off the thought as one of the Soldiers then pursued the Medic, only to be shot down by a Sniper's bullet, presumably from Twilight Sparkle.

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Chronicle was still on the run, heavily injured but not bleeding, but no Medic available to patch him up. The "Nurse Redheart" copy was still at the position where he had directed her to go, Fluttershy was still in a breakdown, and a third Medic couldn't be generated as Thenam's "Copyspawn system" has reached its limits for the moment on making 'new' copies.

On the other hoof, he managed to take down the two Demomen after him with the help of Derpy Hooves, who was promptly 'sent away' by a Soldier's rocket.

Just as he saw another rocket head his way, he used a spell and zipped forward in a "flash-step", narrowly dodging a fatal rocket hit. He then put up a barrier to defend against both REDs' bullets as he then turned a corner. The barrier wouldn't hold for long against so many bullets, especially a Heavy's barrage.

Just as the Solider and Scout turned the corner as well, Chronicle couldn't be seen. They then caught sight of him further ahead, making his way into a building, groaning from his injuries.

"Yeah, there he is!", the Scout said.

_Oh, crap._, Chronicle thought as he then made his way in.

"You! Stop right where you are, that is an order!", called the Soldier. Chronicle ignored them as he suddenly found himself in a simple dining room of sorts. Remembering that he was now in RED territory— "He's getting away!" He then eyed the refrigerator and remembered the "side mission" EqU was tasked on. As he then made his way to it, he heard the two REDs come in. "Do not let him get to the re—"

Too late. He opened it, seeing three bottles of "Red Shed" beer…and two Sandviches on a plate. _Jackpot!_ Immediately, he 'grabbed' one Sandvich.

"D-don't do it, pal!", the Scout warned, suddenly scared.

"Do. Not. Do it!", said the Soldier, also visibly shaken.

Chronicle ignored them as he closed the fridge's door, and ate the Sandvich, meat and all; he had no time to remove that little slice with his life on the line. For some reason, he felt the need to say "Om nom nom nom..." as he chewed the food.

"Oohhhhhhh, hell...", was all he heard from the Soldier before Chronicle started seeing things. He knew all too well these weren't real, but his subconscious was telling him otherwise. He started to see visions of his teammates getting killed by RED and BLU, sometimes even both of them together.

"H-h-hey, let's just calm down here! You listening?", he thought he heard the Scout stutter as he started to take deep breaths and close his eyes. And then, a horrific vision struck the unicorn; nearly all of RED and BLU closing in on Fluttershy as she shook in her hooves, holding up the "bonesaw" in a feeble attempt of defense. This vision pushed a button in him and he entered a berserk state, no longer in control of his body. "J-j-just... OH GOD!"

The Scout and Soldier now saw Chronicle emitting a light blue aura that seemed to spew out like some sort of evil energy. His eyes then opened, revealing brown scleras and white irises. They then saw him 'unsheathe' a blade of energy from his horn. And he looked like he was out for blood as he stomped his way toward them, then caught them with his magic, floating them up in the air and preventing them from escaping as they're covered in the same aura.

"OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GO—", was what the Scout said before they were both 'thrust' into the fridge, making its door open slightly and presumably tip over a bottle there. Chronicle, who was seeing red, then 'took' the Scout up close and began to slice at his body and gut him like a…well, it would be suffice to say the results weren't pretty. All the while, he was laughing like a maniac as the blood spilled on the floor. "My blood! H-he magicked out all my blood!"

"Ow, ow ow ow ow! Ouch, ouch! Ahhh...", said the Soldier as Chronicle "sheathed" his "magic horn blade" and proceeded to punch the RED and attempt to break his spine telekinetically. "You call that breaking my spine? You pathetic ponies wouldn't know how to break a spine if—" Chronicle cut him off by successfully doing so by 'slamming' the Soldier into the fridge again—tipping another bottle over inside—and spilling his blood on it. "AUGHHH! MY SPINE!"

Chronicle also heard a girlish scream before his consciousness was completely taken over by his rage.

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It was one minute after once he came to, an when he did, he wished he hadn't. It was an extremely bloody sight. There were body parts everywhere and blood was all over the place. "Did I…actually do this?!" While he was okay with killing, he can only tolerate so much bloodiness. He then looked at the "Sandvich" he was miraculously still 'holding'. He then realized that not only had he bitten into the meat as well, he was also in peak physical form. "Is this the effect of ponies eating meat?"

"Chronicle.", called Tasic from the 'card'. "I heard from Rainbow Dash you were absolutely brutal a while ago."

"Must be the effect of the Sandvich's meat.", the unicorn groaned.

"You found a Sandvich?"

"Yes. Ate one and became absolutely brutal."

"…Is there another?"

"Yes, there is another, and no, I don't think I'll be eating another one again anytime soon if it turns out meat is an important factor in the Sandvich's healing properties."

"We'll find out later. Can you acquire it?"

"Can do."

"Good. We still need you out here. Your clone's not really as effective as you are."

"Very well."

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nightelf37: And that's it for now.

Chronicle: See, you're ending it like this over and over.

nightelf37: No, I—

Chronicle: See ya on Third!

nightelf37: Chronicle!


	9. Twilight's and Rainbow's New Stuff

Sometime before the "skirmish" where the Sandvich was acquired…

EqU had taken a break at Dustbowl, where they had first had their first few days or training, and their first battle against RED. As instructed, most of them were doing training exercises against BLU simulations. As for Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle however, Thenam has some new stuff for them.

"May I ask why you've asked us to stay behind?", asked Twilight as she and Rainbow stood in front of Thenam, whose back was to Jothicu as he operated a computer.

"You see…well, you do know that RED and BLU have a lot of different kinds of weapons to use, right?"

"Right?"

"It wouldn't be fair for them to get all the good stuff, so I had some drones of mine infiltrate their bases and scan some of their stuff. And thanks to my tech, you two have obtained a few more items." The actual truth was that they obtained it from the Intelligence briefcases obtained during Capture The Flag missions. In exchange, though, EqU's Intelligence briefcases contained information about Equestria, but mainly events where a letter to Princess Celestia is sent. Namely, the events the Story Crew members called "episodes". _Makes for good life lessons._ But he won't tell them that.

Thenam then offered them two rectangular boxes (one colored cyan and the other colored purple), each with a black joystick and a strange something an inch from it that emitted what he called a hologram. There was also a button to the lower right of the joystick. "This is your Customizer. As we'll soon obtain more weapons or items, just like with the Sandvich, you may have to change your loadout as well. Rainbow, activate the Customizer by moving the joystick."

The pegasus did as told and a hologram showed up, depicting her "scattergun". "Okay."

"Now nudge the stick downward." She did so and the hologram changed into her "pistol". "Nudge it to the right." Once again she complied and the hologram now depicted a small energy drink can with a label. Conveniently, Equestria's written language has plenty of similarities (if not completely exact) with the alphabet (which is used in English, French, German, Spanish, Italian, etc), so the ponies were able to learn it a little quickly. The can was colored in the seven colors of the rainbow. Actually, just the six that are also in Rainbow Dash's mane.

"Bonk.", the pegasus read the cyan-colored text. The "O" was replaced with a radiation symbol. "Atomic Punch. Nuclear Rainbow. What the hay is this supposed to mean?"

"Hold on a second.", Twilight cut in as she turned her head sideways, squinting her eyes as she read the side of the bottle. "Ingredients: Water, Radiation, Sugar. The energy drink products and the claims made about specific products from Bonk have not been evaluated by the United Food and Drug Administration, and are not approved to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent disease. If you have a medical condition or disease, please talk to your doctor prior to drinking any Bonk drink."

"You don't need to worry about a thing.", assured Jothicu as he turned around to face the two ponies. "After obtaining enough information about your anatomy thanks to you, Twilight, I can safely say that Rainbow will suffer no side-effects apart from what the drink is supposed to do."

"And what's that?", asked Rainbow.

"Somehow, the Atomic Punch grants invulnerability from any attacks for eight seconds, except for 'telefrags' and the environment like trains. The drinker also leaves a blur trail when they move."

"No need to remind me. I've seen it in action."

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During one battle against BLU…

Rainbow Dash eyed the BLU Scout, who was opening a can and drinking from it. Once he was done, he noticed the pegasus, then (without shedding a tear) called in a demanding manner, "**_Look at me!_**"

"We'll see about that!", retorted Rainbow as she zipped straight for him, aiming her scattergun point-blank, then fired. Which resulted in a **Miss!** signal appearing above his head. "Nope!" The BLU Scout then began to circle her, leaving a blurry trail in an attempt to render her dizzy. "I'm runnin' circles around ya!" Rainbow continued trying to hit him, which only resulted in more **_Miss!_** signals, and him taunting her all the while.

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"I hate that guy! I'm pretty sure that drink blocked his tear ducts too." Twilight looked at Rainbow in confusion. "What? You rub into me sometimes."

"You really believed what that RED Spy said about BLU Scout when we watched one of their battles?", said Jothicu.

"That rainbows make him cry?", asked Thenam.

"Yeah. Tasic told me."

"I see. Here's some other things you need to know while under the effects of the drink. For some reason, you are unable to grab the Intelligence, capture or defend objectives like Control Points and Payload carts. Sentry Guns still still knock you back. If you're on fire, it'll only start affecting you only after the drink's effects wear off. Got it?"

"I'll try to remember that."

"Okay. Now nudge upward the stick on the Customizer, then nudge it to the right." Rainbow did as told and the hologram soon showed a wooden bat with a smooth black grip, complete with a logo reading The Sandman engraved on the side, and a black band tied around the end holding a cracked section of wood together. Accompanying the bat was an All Ballers League baseball manufactured by Ball Fortress. "This is the Sandman. Comes with a baseball that 'respawns' to you after fifteen seconds if you missed, three seconds if you score a hit. When the ball makes impact with an enemy, it stuns them for some time between one to seven seconds. For some reason, it also makes your 'card' take 12 percent more damage, thus making you able to take less damage."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!", Rainbow cut him off. "What was that you just said?"

"Simply put, The Sandman comes with a baseball you can use to stun foes.", put in Jothicu. "The longer the ball flies, the longer the stun. Also your 'card' becomes weaker and you'll take in more damage than usual before being sent away."

"Okay."

"Now, Twilight.", Thenam turned to the unicorn. "Allow me to introduce **your** new weapons. Activate your Customizer, then nudge the stick to the right." Twilight did as told and the hologram soon showed a hardwood recurve bow held together with black tape. There was also a quiver for arrows. "This is the Huntsman. Yes, it's a bow and I'm sure you won't be using it since you got sniper rifles, but here are its following advantages; it can be used to counter other projectiles, and they can be lit by fire. Now please nudge the stick downward, then to the right."

"Okay.", Twilight said as she complied, upon which the hologram revealed a partially chipped manually-carved tribal shield with red and white paint and a yellow something taped to the back that Thenam called a battery. Two wires were shown going from the battery to the shield, held in place with black tape.

"This is the Razorback.", explained Thenam. "It serves as protection from backstabs by Spies, removing them of the cloak and preventing them from attacking or switching their weapons for two seconds. It does break apart afterward, but you can get it back at the Resupply Locker."

"Sound useful." Twilight then gave a frown. "Although it quickly becomes useless once they realize they can just shoot me with their revolver."

"Yeah, although it does dissuade them if you're nearby allies. After all, the revolver is rather loud and would give away their position. Now nudge the stick to the left twice." Once that was done, the hologram showed a jar similar to the ones Granny Smith uses to keep her Zap Apple Jam. However, it was filled with some sort of yellow liquid, something Twilight recognized.

"Is this what I think it is?"

"Yes. It's Jarate, now as a weapon option."

Twilight seemed to cringe at this, which Rainbow noted as she then asked, "What's the deal with that thing?"

"It's one of the most humiliating things anypony could ever make on another. Basically, it's throwing what you usually go to the bathroom to get relieve yourself of in a jar at enemies so they would gross out, leaving them wide open."

"Huh?"

Thenam bent down to Rainbow and whispered through her ear. The pegasus's eyes then shrunk in shock and both her wings unfurled. "It also helps in stopping burns, you know.", he added out loud. "Although you probably wouldn't do that even in an emergency. And if you think Rarity would absolutely complain, the Spies would also agree with her as their cloaks get shorted out when hit with it. Their disguises are also rendered useless as their shadows will be colored to reveal their true allegiance."

"Well, as much as I hate to say it, the advantages far outweigh the drawbacks.", said Twilight with a grumble.

"Now that's over with, you're free to enter practice with the rest. Just remember to push the button in the corner of the Customizer twice to confirm your selection."

"One more thing.", Rainbow asked. "How am I supposed to open the Bonk can without…you know…?" She held up her hooves in demonstration.

"The small metallic arms that aim your weapons will take care of that."

"Oh."

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nightelf37: And that's it for now.

Chronicle: Why the sudden deviation?

nightelf37: Apparently, there are arcade machines in Equestria, as seen in the episode "Hearts and Hooves Day".

Chronicle: That's not an answer to my question.

nightelf37: See ya on Third!

Chronicle: Hey! What about what you did concerning the Intelligence?

nightelf37: They have to have something, don't they?


	10. BLU's Intel on EqU

Twelve days since EqU joined in on the RED vs BLU war games, in Teufort…

The alarm bell rang in the security room (and all of Teufort) along with sirens and klaxons.

"Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert!", came the Administrator's voice. "An EqU Spy is in the bse!"

The Alarm-O-Tron 5000 had received an update to implement the new (intruding) team, and thus the following signs illuminated; 'INTRUDER ALERT' (old), 'EQU SPY' (new) and 'IN BASE' (old). Aside from the additional 'EQU class' signs like 'EQU SNIPER' and 'EQU ENGINEER', there were also the signs called '20% COOLER', 'IS CRYING', 'GONE INSANE', and 'IS BEST CLASS', the last of which replaced the second 'RED SPY' sign. Watching the board was the BLU Scout, who was distressed at the news.

"Oh no! Not EqU!", he cried out. Then, from a rack of weapons, he pulled off his baseball bat, and was off in a flash. He dashed down a flight of stairs and through the Teufort sublevel.

"Protect the briefcase!", commanded the Administrator from the PA system in the base.

"Oh, I sure hope the others are all right."

He then turned right to see the BLU Soldier attempting to open the code-locked 'Briefcase Room' door. "Need some help here!", he said.

The Scout made his way to him and gently pushed him aside, "All right, I got it, I got it. Let me handle this." He then began to push buttons on the keypad. "6, 9, 3, 8, 1, 7!"

"Go go go! Ch—"

Just the, the BLU Heavy came around the corner, "Sasha" in hand, charging towards the Scout and Soldier. "INCOMING!", he said.

Quickly, the Scout opened the door as he and the Soldier were sent tumbling into the Intelligence Room. He was also screaming along with the Heavy as the Scout then reached the desk…discovering the briefcase was perfectly safe.

"Hey, it's still here!", he said.

The Heavy slowed his scream with an, "Alright then."

"Ahem.", a voice came from behind them. They turned to see the BLU Spy, carrying a dead BLU Pyro over one shoulder. "Gentlemen." After he was sure he caught all of their attention, he heaved a bit to make whom he was carrying a bit easier to…carry as he made his way towards the desk. "I see the briefcase is safe."

"Safe and sound.", replied the Soldier.

"Yeah, it is!", agreed the Scout.

"Mm-hmm.", said the Heavy.

"Tell me... did anypon—" He then let out a groan from his slip of the tongue and muttered to himself, "Confound those ponies…" A instant later, he regained his composure as the Heavy stood behind him. "Did anybody happen to send off an EqU Spy on the way here?" The other three BLUs shook their heads and shrugged. "No? Then we still have a problem." The Spy then deposited the Pyro's body on the desk, revealing a bloody butterfly knife in his back.

"...and a knife.", added the Soldier.

"Oooh, big problem." Scout wasn't too impressed as he approached and removed the knife. "I've killed plenty of Spies." He then proceeded to toy around with it, manipulating it like the Spy does. "They're dime-a-dozen back-stabbing scumbags - like you!" But he was distracted and cut himself on the finger, dropping it. "Ow! No offense."

Spy deftly retrieved the knife. "If you managed to kill them, I assure you they were not like me.", he said as he flicked it shut and handed it back to the Scout, who then set it on the table. "And nothing... nothing like the mare loose inside this building."

"Don't you mean to say 'man'?", asked the Soldier.

"No. When I said 'mare'…" The Spy then revealed a dossier folder. "I meant it!" He then slapped the folder down on the table, revealing several photographs depicting each of the EqU mercs, including their "palette swaps", and documents describing them. "In case it has slipped your thick head of yours, the EqU mercenaries do not consist of human beings like us. Rather, they consist of eight…ponies, three of them with wings on their backs for flight and three of them with horns on their heads for…special abilities." The Spy refused to call it magic for some reason, in spite of the Soldier having a magician for a roommate. "There's also a bipedal lizard." The Scout was about to speak up, but the Spy sternly cut him off. "And for the last time, I am **not** going to call it a dragon!" _At least not in front of them._

The Spy then picked up one of the documents, one with the photo of Rainbow Dash.

"The EqU Scout. A winged pony. Quite the daredevil she is. Brash, arrogant, a bit like you." He turned to the BLU Scout. "Is obviously holding back in her speed, can obviously go faster but isn't." The Scout looked over his shoulder, then bit back some tears as he turned away. The Spy gave a sigh. "I cannot believe the RED Spy was right about you. And I about the RED Scout."

"Right about what?", asked the Heavy.

"That rainbows make them cry." The Spy then put down the document on Rainbow and picked up the one on Derpy Hooves. "The EqU Soldier. Also a winged pony. Seems to be suffering from an eye condition called strabismus, yet it doesn't seem to affect her aim. Also not a bit right in the head." He eyed the Soldier. "Not unlike someone in this room."

He put down the document and picked up the one of Pinkie Pie. "The EqU Pyro. A 'regular' pony. Quite crazy, but thankfully in a different way and not to the level of our own." He gestured to their dead Pyro, put down the document, and proceeded with the next one, Applejack's. "The EqU Engineer. Another 'regular' pony. She doesn't use her gadgets to the same effectiveness as our Engineer. Obviously, EqU has somehow stolen our technology."

He put down Applejack's document and picked up Chronicle's. "The EqU Heavy. A 'horned' pony. Not as tough as our Heavy, but her—I mean, his abilities seem to compensate for it." _How does one really determine these ponies' genders…_ "A force field, zipping around in short distances, and a blade of energy. He also seems to be the most adapted to a war zone. Or at least to a battle." He then picked up Spike's document next. "The EqU Demoman. The team's one bipedal lizard. In spite of his diminutive size, he's just as tough as everyone else. His scales are also give him resistance to fire just like the Pyro's suits." He then added under his breath. "Not to mention resistance to backstabs."

"Told you he's a dragon.", cut in the Scout.

The Spy ignored him and picked up the next document; the one of Fluttershy. "The EqU Medic. A 'winged' pony. Far from a mad scientist, she has the heart of a true healer; she's actually caring of her teammates, a kindred soul. Pity she doesn't really belong in our battlefield. Still, she can be a surprising pain when cornered and not put down quickly." He then picked up Twilight Sparkle's document. "The EqU Sniper. Another 'horned' pony. Rather smart. Can put up a force field, and can shoot bolts of energy. Seems to be the team's leader." _There are also unconfirmed rumors that she can teleport without an Engineer's assistance, but…_

The Spy shrugged off his thoughts as he then put down the documents he held—leaving the others to pick them up and see for themselves—and picked up the last document; the one of Rarity. "The EqU Spy. Yet another 'horned' pony. Not really the type to be in a battlefield, though one can say the same thing for myself. " The Spy then put down the document, turned away from the others, took out his disguise kit, and removed a cigarette from it. He then lighted it, took a breath through it, then exhaled a puff of smoke. "Apparently has a thing for fashion, yet is a true _femme fatale_ with a sharp eye." He finally turned to the rest. "Already, she has breached our defenses..."

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In a previous mission…

In the tunnels of Hydro, while the rest of EqU battled in another section against BLU, Rarity was tasked on creeping through the place. Dark, dusty, she had every reason not to go there, but days of training has gotten her to tolerate it until she reached more…comfortable areas. As she then paused at a corner, she glimpsed an BLU Level 3 Sentry Gun with its Engineer. It was facing the door on the other side. She had no idea what was supposed to be there, but decided to leave such pondering to Twilight, Chronicle, or Tasic.

She 'took out' an "Electro Sapper", and slid it across the floor as she then moved forward herself. The Sapper stopped just below the Sentry Gun and did its job, disarming and destroying it immediately.

The Engineer gasped, "Sentry Down!", threw his wrench down, saw the EqU Spy make her way towards him, and reached for his pistol to shoot her. However, Rarity was quicker on the draw and shot first with her revolver, sending him through the door.

She didn't miss a beat as she fired again at the next target.

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The BLU Spy shook off the memory as he then gestured frantically at the dead Pyro, leaning over him.

"You've seen what she's done to our colleagues!", he said as his teammates set down the documents.

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Earlier…

The BLU Pyro patrolled the hallway, wary of a possible Spy in the area. He then noticed a shimmer in the air. He turned his Flamethrower at it and spewed out fire. The shimmer burst into flames and fell to the ground. Seconds later, as he paused in delivering a burning inferno, the shimmer revealed itself to be a 'horned' pony before disappearing in a flash of light.

The Pyro sometimes wondered why these ponies never left bodies behind. Just then, he saw a shimmer to his right. That pony had used a Dead Ringer!

Before he could turn his flamethrower to burn her into a crisp, he felt the Spy's knife strike him in the back. He couldn't comprehend how this was possible. Was there another Spy in the area? His thoughts were put to rest (until the next Respawn) as he fell to the floor dead and Rarity turned visible again.

There was no second EqU Spy; Rarity just used her telekinesis to move it from a farther distance than a human's arm could reach. Just as she was about to 'take out' her knife from the Pyro's back, she saw a Sniper head her way. Immediately, she turned herself invisible and slipped out of sight.

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Back in the present, in the Intelligence Room…

"And worst of all, she could be any one of us.", the BLU Spy warned. "And unfortunately, as of yet, the masks I have been supplied with for disguising as EqU aren't proving to be effective, not even when disguising as their Demoman." He then added to himself with a whisper. "A floating knife is a telltale sign due to their shorter stature."

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Again, earlier…

"Medic!", the BLU Demoman cried out after narrowly escaping a burning death from Pinkie Pie and a Hadouken from her. How she was able to learn it so quickly after just seeing it from the RED and BLU Pyros for only a few days was beyond him.

Just then, as the flames began to stop, he saw the Medic next to a corner calling for him to come over. Deciding he needed a break, he quickly made his way to him, turned the corner…and saw the BLU Medic on the ground, dead. He then turned to see another BLU Medic, who raised a revolver and—instantly turning into the EqU Spy—fired three bullets, killing him.

Seconds ago, after Rarity had dispatched the BLU Medic the Demoman saw dead, she had taken out a mask from the disguise kit and put it on. Immediately, with the mask's unique technology (modified from the original) reacting to her unicorn magic, her image vanished and was replaced with that of the BLU Medic, not on fours like Rarity herself was in (which the original masks would've done) but standing like an ordinary human. This image has some level of tangibility, so as not to around suspicion from an enemy's hand passing through the image (and possibly touching her beautiful mane). Using telekinesis, she had 'held up' her revolver and concealed it within her 'disguise'.

Now that the Demoman was now killed as well, Rarity 'reloaded' her revolver, then disguised herself as…

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Again, in the present…

"She could be in this very room!" The BLU Spy was beginning to look frantic. "She could be you! She could be me! She could even be—"

The Spy was cut off as his head exploded violently; the Soldier had blasted his head off with his shotgun.

The Heavy seemed to do his best not to cringe while the Scout jumped in panic.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!", gasped the Scout.

"Oh!", said the Heavy.

"What? It was obvious!", the Soldier said as he pumped his Shotgun, discarding the spent shell. "He's the RED Spy! Watch, he'll turn red any second now..."

The Soldier and Scout approached the dead Spy, with The Soldier prodding the Spy's foot with his Shotgun. "Uhh…excuse me.", the Scout said. The Soldier turned to him. "Need I remind you that…we're not fighting RED! We're fighting EqU!"

The Soldier stopped as if in shock, then turned to the dead Spy. "Uhh…oops?"

The Scout gave a sigh. "Looks like we still got a problem."

"Big problem.", agreed the Soldier. Behind them, the Heavy lingered behind, his expression sinister. He picked up the knife from the table, then flicked it open easily. As he approached, his image flickered and melted…revealing the EqU Spy, Rarity. "All right, who's ready to go find this Spy?"

"Right behind you, boys.", Rarity answered as she 'raised' the knife. The two BLUs cringed upon hearing her voice, which she took advantage of by 'thrusting' the knife onto the Scout's back, killing him instantly.

In that second, the Soldier aimed his shotgun at her, but she 'caught' it with telekinesis, then 'wrested it' from his grip, sending it to the wall.

Rather than just stand there helpless, the Soldier proceeded to lunge at Rarity, making her shriek for a second as he then felt her revolver's barrel push on his gut. Seconds after that, two point-blank shots were made.

As the Soldier fell over dead, Rarity kicked his body off of her, sending it to the wall, complaining, "How uncouth…"

She then made her way to the briefcase, then eyed the dossier on EqU BLU had. After 'sorting' the documents back into the folder, she then picked up the briefcase and muttered, "To think they would've learned from last time RED Spy infiltrated their base. And to think that he had slept with the BLU Scout's mother. And that she has managed to stay beautiful after bearing eight sons! These humans really are strange."

"Rarity.", called Tasic from the 'card'. "You got the Intelligence?"

"Why, yes."

"Better get back quick. BLU's bound to respawn and need I remind you that you can't use your disguises or turn invisible while you have that case."

"Of course." Rarity then picked up the briefcase with her magic and was immediately off.

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nightelf37: And that's it for now.

Chronicle: Mind explaining why Rarity chose to disguise as, of all people, the Heavy?

nightelf37: I'll just say that the ponies' (and Spike's) training had something to do with it. Besides, I wasn't about to **completely** mirror the Meet The Spy video, as I obviously have with (some of) the previous chapters sans the intro. Of course BLU would learn at least a little from their experience with the RED Spy. Whilst attacking Teufort, Rarity lay invisible as the Scout bypassed her after making his way to the door to the Intelligence Room, where Soldier was completely clueless as to what the password was, being the cuckoo he is. As the two began to open the door, she then disguised herself as the Heavy, then charged forward 'as planned'.

Chronicle: …Okay. That explains some things.

nightelf37: See ya on Third!


	11. A Special Kind of ? ? ? ?

Of course, in spite of a large victory streak, EqU has suffered defeats as well once RED and BLU have gotten more and more accustomed to their strategies. The fact that they didn't have the ÜberCharge didn't help matters.

They had lost an Attack/Defend fight in Well against BLU, and were suffering Humiliation. Their weapons had disappeared, not from something by Thenam but something in the base itself, which he suspected was planted by the Administrator. After getting tearful and fearful complaints from the Equestria natives, he got to work on an invulnerability system that would work during Humiliation (and can't work on any other period due to that something interfering).

It has yet to be set up however, so the EqU team was forced to run around as BLU chased them down. Rainbow Dash was the first to be sent away, as she wasn't the type to flee despite the odds.

Chronicle was frustrated from this defeat as he short-range teleported about to escape notice. Of course, he made sure he wasn't seen and his magic helped him pinpoint if there were invisible Spies. Pinkie Pie made liberal use of her strange abilities to evade the BLUs slapstick-style, like turning a corner only to be gone when they do too, running along the ceiling, and other stuff. Twilight Sparkle found a hiding place in the form of a roof, discreetly teleporting there, but was shortly spotted by the rocket-jumping Soldier. Fluttershy managed to find a cranny in the area where the intelligence would be if they were doing Capture the Flag. As for the rest, they were either already sent away or being chased by the BLUs.

For some reason, he decided a quick dip in the water was as good as any. He liked swimming, and unfortunately his time in Equestria has given very little opportunities for that, and as such he rendered precious every chance of it he had. What he was about to see would change his mind though. The second he opened the hatch leading down to the waterway, something emerged from it.

It was an octopus tentacle. And before he could react, it wrapped around his left foreleg and pulled him in. As he hit the water, more tendrils wrapped themselves around the rest of his legs, some of them binding the mech-arms as well, then a fifth went for his horn and constricted it, preventing him from using magic. Naturally, he flailed desperately, wondering what had got him and how it knew how to neutralize him.

He saw that it was the BLU Spy, except he had octopus tentacles in place of his legs. _What the ████?!_ The Spy seemed to notice his eyes widen as the unicorn was turned around and relieved of his Minigun, which sank into the depths. "I hope you'll be more fun than the RED Sniper, little pony," he said, somehow able to breathe underwater. As he was pulled closer, the Spy released the tentacles binding his forelegs, wrapping both of them behind his back. He did the same with his hind legs, bringing a tentacle around his thighs.

Chronicle knew it was useless to call for help and thus did not flail, but he was not going to give the Spy the satisfaction of breaking him. The Spy gave a frown as he bore down on him, the heavy bulk of his body now smothering most of the blue unicorn, who gave him a glare of utter defiance. The Spy frowned deeper at this. This wouldn't do.

The Spy bent down, hands somehow clawed tracing a scar across the unicorn's face, then gave a sadistic smile. He then took the bulkiest of his tentacles and wrapped it around Chronicle's body, starting at where his cutie mark was. The tentacle dragged across it, slipping under his uniform, suckers tracing the smooth fur coat. The Spy smiled as he made his way upwards, following the EqU Heavy's ribcage and tearing the shirt due to the pressure from the tentacle. He was tempted to take off his glove and feel the pony's coat with his hand as well, but resisted it for another time as his tentacle reached the pony's neck and hooking around his horn, the other tentacle around that letting go.

Chronicle was completely helpless, and he hated that feeling. He didn't bother attempting to bite, electing to hold his breath for as long as he can. This brought a wicked grin to the BLU Spy's face as he gave a squeeze. The EqU Heavy balked, but didn't let out the air in his mouth. The Spy constricted him again, but he still resisted. He then pressed himself into the blue unicorn and continued tightening his grip. Finally, he managed to go just tight enough to crack a bone.

This got Chronicle to cry out in silent pain, letting out the air from his lungs, blood trailing out of his mouth. His now-broken bottom ribs had punctured something, but it wasn't the lungs. It still hurt of course. And it continued to hurt as the BLU Spy continued breaking more pairs of ribs, forcing the unicorn to cough out more blood. He then tilted the pony's head, taking a very good look at his horn. Finding himself allured to it, he wound a tentacle around it, and began to pull, seeing what would happen if it were to break. At this, Chronicle began to truly panic, at which the Spy licked his chops. He began to constrict further, exerting more effort and eliciting a stronger scream from the unicorn, whose lungs began to fill with water. Just before the Spy could feel like he was about to make a crack at it, the EqU Heavy disappeared in a flash of light; he had been sent away.

"Well, this was a disappointment," the BLU Spy said to himself. "I should've settled for biting his neck. I wonder what pony blood tastes like?"

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As the EqU trailer fled from Well, everybody (save Tasic, who was on the wheel) watched Jothicu attempt to get Chronicle to respond, but with little success. The stallion's eyes stared blankly, his breathing was slow, and was generally motionless as he sat on his haunches on a medical bed.

"Will he be alright, Jothicu?" Fluttershy asked with concern.

"Until we get him to respond, there's no way of telling," said the medical researcher as he waved a white stick-shaped 'scanner' around the patient's head. He was also wearing special goggles that were connected to the 'scanner' by a cord.

"What could possibly traumatize **him**?" wondered Applejack.

"Yeah," agreed Rainbow. "I mean, apart from myself and the Wonderbolts, he's the most awesomest pony I know."

"Not to mention keeping a **somewhat** cool head as he kicked Discord's butt when he fought with one-hundred percent seriousness," added Pinkie.

"It must've been something back at Well," guessed Twilight. "But I wonder, what did the BLU team do, assuming this is their doing? Or was it something else?"

Suddenly, their shocked friend drew a deep breath as he returned to his senses.

Jothicu put away his 'scanner' and ushered the others back. "Give him space, give him space." He then pulled down his goggles and turned back to the EqU Heavy, who was now hyperventilating.

"Are you okay?" asked Spike as he gave him a paper bag.

Chronicle didn't take it as he soon calmed down. After a few seconds of silence, he said, "That BLU Spy!" He turned to Thenam. "He had tentacles! Octopus tentacles! And he can breathe underwater!"

Despite seeing a lot of strangeness in their lives, Spike and the ponies were skeptical "Uh? What?" asked Derpy Hooves.

"The BLU Spy somehow obtained a way to get octopus tentacles and the ability to breathe underwater. He snagged me just as I went into the water, pulling me down, and constricting me everywhere, including the horn." Everypony gasped, some of them putting their front hooves into their mouths, and Rarity shrieked before fainting. "He was about to snap it too after breaking some of my ribs before my card thankfully sent me away." He then looked up at Thenam again. "Does the Spy's Disguise Kit have a secret feature?"

"He can't have," the tech expert put a finger to his chin. "The Spytron 3000 Disguise Kits use hard light technology that activate when the masks they provide are applied. These masks by the way have a nanotech mesh covering them, allowing the wearer to see through them when activated. For the BLU Spy to have acquired octopus tentacles would mean it actually transformed his body."

"But if that were the case, how was he able to walk well enough for a pony whenever he pretends to be one of us?" asked Applejack.

"He probably practiced after RED and BLU acquired your templates and other 'bio-data' left behind from our battles. …Now that I think of it, there was an older version of the Disguise Kit, the Spytron 2000 that transforms the body via special cigarettes containing blood samples of the subject. But from what little I discovered, the Spy from one team complained from maintaining his balance due to his center of balance constantly changing. You know how every living being has different centers of balance, right? Oh wait, wrong m—"

"Actually, I do understand."

"…What?"

"Just because I'm a farmer doesn't mean I'm completely clueless in anything unrelated to the subject. As a matter of fact, I took part in the Equestria Rodeo Competition some time ago and got medals in all events."

"None of them first place, though," added Chronicle.

"We're getting off-topic here," warned Jothicu as he helped Rarity up, who has already recovered.

"What's our topic, anyway?" asked Pinkie.

"It's— ugh, forget it," grumbled Thenam. "Anyway, assuming what Chronicle said is true—"

"Are you implying that I would lie about something like this?" the unicorn stallion retorted.

"We all know you're not above lying on anything, Chronicle. Assuming what you said is true, it means that the BLU Spy is using an older version of the Disguise Kit. Its advantage is that it doesn't 'drop' upon committing aggressive actions, which is the flaw of the hard light Disguise Kit, which I used as a base for Rarity's, but the disadvantage is…well…"

"What will this mean for us?" asked Twilight.

"Thankfully, from what I know about octopi, or was it octopuses?" Jothicu was a bit confused on what is the correct plural term for 'octopus'. "Anyway, whatever half the Spy has in that disguise of his, it can't operate well above water, and there are very few places in here that can accommodate his…Tentaspy form that has any practical application in the battlefield."

"Thank Celestia for that," said Rarity. "If that's what the BLU Spy would do to him, I don't even want to think of what he'll do to any of us." All the mares shuddered in varying degrees from the thought, even Rainbow. Spike was scared of the possibilities as well.

"At present, from what memories I could scan from Chronicle's mind and from what we know about the Spy, I can tell that the Tentaspy persona adds animal instincts to the Spy's mind, though I'm not sure if it's that of an octopus. I'll need more information. But until then, nothing in our mission has changed. This is just one instance of weirdness of many."

"I wonder if the RED Spy can also turn into a 'Tentaspy', as you called it?" Pinkie wondered.

"Probably not. The RED Spy was the one who complained of the old Disguise Kit."

"Oh."

"We've arrived at Hightower," Tasic suddenly called through the trailer's PA system. "RED's present. It's time you tried the Payload Race."

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nightelf37: I got my idea of a Tentaspy ████ from Demonfox38's "Brisbane Roll". No, I won't be doing a "Payload Race" chapter. Also, I'd like to apologize a bit for slapping this chapter in the middle. See ya on Third!


	12. New Duds and Trap Tactics

At some EqU-claimed area, a day after the "Capture The Flag" at Teufort…

The EqU Team were trying out some new stuff. Most were acquired from RED and BLU thanks to Thenam's drones, and a few were modified from them so that they were now EqU-themed. For instance…

Based on the Soldier's Buff Banner, and with knowledge of Equestria from its natives, Thenam created the "Royal Canterlot Hallmark", a flag mounted on a small midnight blue backpack and accompanied by a simple megaphone. The flag depicted a head shot of Equestria's other diarch; Princess Luna. Derpy Hooves was currently equipping this as she put her rocket launcher aside.

_When you speak through that megaphone, you and any nearby allies are granted a special…buff that halves the effectiveness of your enemies' attacks._, Thenam's words echoed in her head. _However, you have to first fill up a meter in the backpack by inflicting a certain amount of damage before the effects of the banner can be used. You can still shout through the megaphone, but it will do nothing. Also, should you get sent away, this meter will empty, resulting in the need to fill it again. You will know it's full when you hear the word "Muffin"._

(A/N: In a way, the Royal Canterlot Hallmark is like the Battalion's Backup, but the Hallmark shields from more damage and lacks the critical hit immunity the Backup has.)

Just after blasting a BLU simulation Pyro to bits, the then heard "Muffin" resound in her head. Knowing this was the time, Derpy took a deep breath, then shouted through the megaphone "EQU IS BEST TEAM!" At the end of that sentence, colored rings of light were emitted from the shadows of Derpy and her affected teammates.

At a section below, Applejack—one of those affected by Derpy's new 'weapon'—was aiming a new something at her Level 3 Sentry Gun. She was 'holding' what seemed to be a wooden pistol grip implemented under a single-button style orange joystick, with a small, rectangular radar dish protruding from the front. There was also a small screen which showed what the Sentry Gun was looking at.

Using this improved "Wrangler", Applejack aimed the Sentry Gun at a BLU Heavy being ÜberCharged by a BLU Medic, both of them headed for a control point defended by a dodging but injured Rainbow Dash (without the Hallmark's effects, she would've been 'sent' to the limbo room by now). She had it open fire and launch rockets right in between them. The rockets exploded on the ground and blew the two away from each other, breaking the ÜberCharge beam and rendering them vulnerable once more.

Once the Heavy was broken off from the Medic, Rainbow flew over the former, took out a nondescript bottle of white liquid. "Catch this!", she then yelled as she tossed the "Mad Milk" at the Medic. _Shoot the medic first. Gotta remember that._ The bottle broke upon contact, dousing him in the white liquid. She then proceeded to blast away with her "scattergun", eventually killing him and—thanks to some strange effects of the milk—recover from her injuries.

Once he was dealt with, she then switched to a large metallic fan that had the generic shape of a butterfly, just like in Fluttershy's cutie mark. This was what Thenam called the "Fan O'War", which 'marks for death' anyone it hits, and is much, much weaker than the Sandman as expected from a fan. She slammed the fan on the Heavy's head, then she yelled, "Over here!"

Immediately, Applejack's Wrangler-controlled Sentry Gun fired away and so did Chronicle from the other side as he was continuously healed up by Fluttershy while he was being pelted by a Wrangler-controlled Sentry's rockets. Both of them were under the Hallmark's effects as well, although that was about to fade soon. The BLU Heavy was downed shortly.

After then taking out the BLU Sentry Gun, just as the two of them were about to proceed further, a sputter of flames touched their bodies…but it did not burn them. They both turned around to see Pinkie Pie aiming her flamethrower at them as she joined them.

"Pinkie Pie," Chronicle began. "I appreciate the fact that you proved our cards' FFPS—Friendly Fire Protection System—to be working and I also thank you for spy-checking us. But as far as Tasic and Thenam know, while the disguises of the RED and BLU Spies can make them look like us, they still easily give themselves away by the way they walk."

"What about Spike?", Pinkie asked. "He walks on two legs just like them."

"But he's much shorter than even their Engineer. And remember that one time?"

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In a battle against RED…

As Pinkie was making her way to their control point to defend it, she saw Spike headed her way. Just as the point entered her sights, she saw Spike there as well. This confused her as neither of them was an EqU Demoman clone since both of them bore the same colors. And she knew every copy Thenam's machine made for all of them.

Suddenly, she felt her tail twitch wildly. Immediately, she did a 180 to see a knife floating mid-air ready to stab her, and Spike below it posed as if he were holding the knife. Immediately after, Spike's image melted to form the RED Spy as he brought down the knife on her.

However, as Pinkie had turned around, the to-be-backstab became a frontal attack, not killing her, but still hurting. A second later, Derpy came out of nowhere and crashed on top of him.

"Oops.", she apologized. "My bad."

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Back in the present…

"Yeah!", Pinkie replied. "The twitchy tail didn't warn me of his knife. It warned me about Derpy falling on him."

Elsewhere, Applejack had left her Sentry and was just finished propping up the exit end of a Teleporter when she sensed something was wrong. Thanks to her 'card', she has intel on any of her buildings at all times. "Spy's sappin' mah Sentry! And mah Dispenser!", she said as she immediately made her way to it. Just as she made it to where her Sentry was, it exploded and fell apart. "Mah Sentry's destroyed!"

Immediately, she switched to her shotgun, a pump-action coach gun-styled one with a wooden stock and ornate engravings on the metal receiver, to which an orange cylindrical capacitor with an antenna was attached. The Frontier Justice.

As she rounded her currently-being-sapped Dispenser, she saw…another EqU Engineer (currently bearing the colors of her cousin Braeburn; yellow coat and orange hair). Although her position seemed a little…off. Quickly, with the FFPS and Spy-checking strategies in mind, Applejack fired at the EqU Engineer—blowing off his head as the Engineer turned back into a BLU Spy.

"Intruder Alert!", Tasic called throughout the P.A. system. "Intruder Alert! BLU is on the attack and are making their way here!"

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Later…

Just like in Granary with RED, the invasion of BLU has turned the simulation battle into the real deal. This time, not only was EqU prepared, they also had another trick up their non-existent sleeves, something they also learned from RED and BLU; sprays. At first, only Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Spike had a field day with this, but soon everypony else was in it as well.

Aside from just for fun, the sprays were used for advertisements, comical purposes, griefing others (like a spray of a rainbow to spite the Scout), leaving their mark, entertainment, or even deception and distraction.

At a corridor somewhere, Pinkie was having fun spraying random stuff when she saw a plate of cupcakes on a table. Ignoring the question as to why something like that was there in the first place, she immediately hopped her way to it, not watching where she was going. Because of that, she did not realize the table and plate of cupcakes was nothing more but a spray until she collided into it.

"Hey!", she complained as she got up. "That isn't a plate of cupcakes!" She then looked around herself…and saw a formation of carefully placed stickybombs, then saw an awaiting BLU Demoman on the left. "Oh, muf—" Her unusual curse was cut short as she was blown up and 'sent away'.

"Go home, lassie.", he mocked. "MEN are fightin' here!" He then went on his way to continue in BLU's attempt to retake the area. Just as he rounded another corner, he glimpsed a dropped Sandvich. As he was a bit damaged from all the fighting, he ran towards it. However, just as he was two feet from it, Chronicle jumped into view, minigun spinning right in front. "Oh, bloody—" The Demoman was immediately torn to pieces by a hail of minigun fire.

"Sucker.", Chronicle said with a chuckle as his minigun slowed in its rotation. Behind him was an EqU Medic clone, who bore an arctic blue coat, baby blue eyes, and dark teal hair (colors of a Ponyville pegasus citizen named Medley). He turned to her. "Come on, let's go."

Just as he was about to go on, the Medic's healing beam stopped. He paused, turned around, then saw a spray on the wall. Ignoring the Medic, he went over and read it.

"FYI I am a spy." It then dawned on him as he saw a trace of pink hair in his peripheral vision. "Oh, f—" He was cut off as he felt a knife hit his back and he was 'sent away' to the limbo room, where he realized what had happened. The BLU Spy was wielding the "Your Eternal Reward", which allows the user to rapidly disguise themselves as the ones they backstabbed.

The BLU Spy had stabbed the Medic, put the spray for Chronicle to read, then stabbed him while he was doing so. As for the hint of (Fluttershy's) pink hair, the masks of the RED and BLU Spies' Disguise Kits only contained masks that disguised them as each other (RED for BLU, BLU for RED) and the original EqU members. That meant, for example, someone disguising as an EqU Scout would take in the appearance of Rainbow Dash and not any of her "palette swaps".

With this in mind, as well as the fact that the Spies seem to be improving (either by skill or by tech) in their disguising as EqU mercs, using the communications system in the limbo room, he informed the others that a BLU Spy was disguising as him. After that, all he could do was wait until he 'respawns'.

Back in the fight, the BLU Spy—still disguised as Chronicle—was running amongst the EqUs, successfully avoiding their spy-checking methods without raising too much suspicion when he then saw a rather blatant target. It was the EqU Sniper, the original one, the one addressed as Twilight Sparkle.

As he made his way to her, he took a few seconds to ponder on why they (with the exception of Spike) were named they way they were, then pushed it aside as he reached the Sniper Deck he saw her nested at. Just as he crossed the small doorway however, he was met with a burst of flames, which removed his disguise as well as naturally set him on fire.

Hearing the sound of flames, Twilight turned around, cast the memory spell on the BLU Spy, and said, "Just as planned." before finishing him off with a couple of bullets from her submachine gun assisted by the EqU Pyro (bearing a grayish-purple coat and gray hair) standing by with her, who assisted by blasting with her shotgun.

"I had doubts whether this kind of trap would work."

"Gvuuh jovhh.", said the EqU Pyro through her mask. For some reason, only Pinkie Pie could speak through her mask unmuffled. How this was possible Twilight could never understand and decided to not ever ask.

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nightelf37: And that's it for now. See ya on Third!


	13. EqU gets the Ubercharge

Two days after retrieving the BLU Intelligence and their intel on them…

"Come on, let's move it!", a young male voice said.

At a rocky hillside, Rainbow Dash with Spike on her back, both of them in their 'mercenary' gear, was fleeing from a barrage of rockets. Already, both have been injured and were on their way back to the line 'held' by the rest of the team. However, two key members were missing and without them they would soon be overrun from the rockets exploding around them.

"Come on, come on, almost— Augh!" Spike was cut off by a rocket blowing up right behind them, forcing them both to tumble forward to the ground as Spike is knocked off of Rainbow.

As both of them got up, Spike was about to turn around to Rainbow to help her up, but she said, "Keep going!" Spike nodded and went on ahead as Rainbow attempted to walk on, but then collapsed. Just as he disappeared around a corner, she then heard a whistling noise, risked a look back, and saw three rockets arcing down towards her. "Sweet Celesti—" She was cut off by the rockets colliding at the ground near her position, sending her flying sky-high and right into a building, screaming and flailing all the way until she smashed face-first into a window pane, breaking it.

"Medic..."

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EqU was at an area reminiscent of Badwater Basin, which was still under RED's control. They had decided to lay low there after realizing one thing; they're still researching the ÜberCharge while RED and BLU have already been using it ever since their arrival. While the EqU team has managed to master counter-strategies for that, the fact that they don't have something that basically amounts to invincibility has begun to become a disadvantage.

They stopped at a building down a hill, where Thenam soon discovered that the place was occupied by RED once, where the RED Medic first tested the ÜberCharge. However, BLU managed to find them and was on the attack. For some reason, BLU had decided to send lots of BLU Soldiers. And worse, EqU's "respawn system" somehow obtained a glitch so that while it still rescues anypony who "dies", they cannot be returned. Thenam was at work fixing the glitch.

Holding the line Spike and Rainbow Dash were headed to were Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Derpy Hooves, and another EqU Engineer (in the colors of Applejack's older brother Big Macintosh). Both Engineers had their Sentry Guns controlled by Wranglers, and Pinkie was using her flamethrower's airblast to knock back the rockets, standing behind a Dispenser to maintain her ammunition.

As for Rarity, she was backstabbing the Soldiers whilst using the Cloak and Dagger watch to remain invisible indefinitely.

The knife she was using was the Big Earner, a broken switchblade left permanently unsheathed—effectively making it a stiletto—with three small bands of blood-stained tape wrapped near the base.

She also had the L'Etranger, a stylish, narrow-barreled revolver with an ivory handle design. Both somehow refill her cloak energy but conversely make her more susceptible to damage by 40 percent, 20 percent from each weapon, but one of them also conversely makes healing a bit faster.

Unfortunately, the 'horde' just wouldn't stop no matter how many she backstabbed.

And she was eventually caught in a rocket blast and 'sent away'.

As for the whereabouts of Chronicle and Fluttershy? They were inside the building with Jothicu.

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Inside the building, the medical researcher was reading the notes the RED Medic left behind for some reason. Also, with some help from Thenam, two futuristic-looking pods were standing where the gurneys were. And inside these were the two 'missing' ponies, and they were about to be treated with that was required for the ÜberCharge.

"Jothicu, I can hear fighting outside.", Chronicle called from within the pod through its comms system. "I'm not sure if the others can hold the line much longer."

"Well, I just figured out how the RED Medic worked up the ÜberCharge, and I've got the chemicals ready, but then I realized the ÜberCharge involves surgery."

"And how is that a problem?"

Jothicu listed the reasons. "One, I still don't know enough of your anatomy. Two, even if I did, I don't want to violate anypony's innards should it have some effect once you're all back in Equestria. And three, even if I was willing to operate on you, I don't have any tools that can penetrate Spike's dragon scales, and none of us knows Equestrian dragon anatomy."

"Equestrian dragon?", asked Fluttershy.

"Our organization spans beyond the stars. And beyond the stars lie plenty of mysteries, wonders, and dangers, dragons among them. I'll be implementing the ÜberCharge system in a different way." Jothicu walked to the pods and pushed buttons on them. "Instead of overcharging your hearts, this system will—when using the standard Medi Gun—envelop both you and your patient in a protective coat of energy, have both your eyes glow white, and be invulnerable to most forms of damage. You're both still susceptible to knockback, the environment, and stuns. Also, should a Heavy with the Holiday Punch hit you from behind, you're gonna lose focus and break the beam."

"Because it somehow makes us laugh?"

"Yes. To this day, I still don't understand how it works, and the laugh it makes from you is rather scary, you know." Jothicu shuddered as he went back to the notes. "I never heard a laugh so evil."

"Sorry. What are the other effects of this…ÜberCharge?"

"Well, you can spread your beam around multiple patients, giving them all the ÜberCharge, but if they're broken off, the ÜberCharge's effects will linger for one second before fading away. Also, you'll find yourselves unable to help in capturing control points, pushing Payload carts, or picking up the Intelligence. You also cannot activate the ÜberCharge if you're carrying the Intelligence and applying it to anyone carrying it will not give them its effects."

"What about the other Medi Guns?", piped in Chronicle.

"When using the Kritzkrieg, the charge is 25 percent faster. In addition, both of your weapons will glow and a harmless crackle of electricity will emit from them. The patient's weapon will inflict all-powerful triple-damage critical hits. As for the Quick-Fix, the charge is also 25 percent faster, not to mention the first Medi Gun to pull off an ÜberCharge."

"And it heals 40 percent faster, but without the overheal the other Medi Guns do, right?"

"Right." Jothicu then went back again to the pods, this time carrying some small cards.

"And it also helps with keeping up with faster allies and catch up with explosive jumpers?"

"Right again." Jothicu then inserted the cards into slots at the pods. "As for its ÜberCharge effect, it grants much faster healing, and both of you will also be immune to stun effects, slowdown and most forms of knockback. And all ÜberCharge last for eight seconds, by the way."

"Are you done yet?"

"Just about. In the meantime, let me discuss about the term 'medic buddy'."

"Medic buddy?", Fluttershy asked. "What's that?"

"A class that is particularly compatible with the Medic in any offensive or defensive scenario. Typical buddies would be the Soldier, the Pyro (although that's a bit dangerous offensively), the Demoman, and most of all the Heavy." He then looked between the two suggestively.

Chronicle seemed to take the hint and retorted, "Hey. Just because we work great together doesn't mean we necessarily **are** together."

"Why not? That seems to be the case with the RED and BLU Heavies and Medics. And the Engineers and Pyros too." He turned back to face Fluttershy. "Anyway, these do not make good healing buddies; Scouts are too fragile and aggressive—no offense to Rainbow Dash—but they can prove useful in tight quarters or defensive positions if using the Kritzkrieg. Engineers are defensive and thus won't be needing the ÜberCharge, though you can use it on them while they're fixing up a Sentry Gun **while** under enemy fire or deploying it in a key offensive position. Snipers stay on the back, though they can use an ÜberCharge in a 'Sniper duel'. Using it on others Medics is not a good idea, unless you're doing the Chain ÜberCharge strategy, which I'm sure you won't be using given…well… And Spies are out of the question as you'll blow their cover."

"That's a lot to remember. But I'll try."

"Anyway, Fluttershy, remember that knockbacks will break the ÜberCharge beam, so it may be better for you to be in the front to draw those attacks and protect your patients."

"Me? Protect them?"

"Yes. You're both invulnerable, so don't worry too much. As that's effectively the case, your teammates can use you and your patient as moving shields and distractions. But as awesome as it may seem, avoid opposing ÜberCharged pairs; it'd be a waste of the charge. You can also use the charge to save yourself even without any allies nearby. And call for a Medic yourself to alert others of your location. For Kritzkrieg ÜberCharges, charging a Soldier works best thanks to their rockets and Heavies too thanks to their bullets. Remember to watch your back though as you're **not** invulnerable. For Quick-Fix ÜberCharges, sustaining more than one teammate is okay." Jothicu paused and took a deep breath. "Whew, that was long. And yes, I am done."

"Finally!", Chronicle gave a sight of exasperated relief as the pods opened and the two ponies—not in 'mercenary' gear—stepped out. However, they were a bit uneasy on their footing, though Chronicle recovered quickly and Fluttershy resorted to hovering.

"I'll give you a few sheets on Medic strategy later. Okay, Fluttershy?"

"Okay.", the pegasus answered.

"Now. Let's test out **our** ÜberCharge power."

"Let's gear up.", said Chronicle and Fluttershy tapped their cards and they were in their Heavy and Medic gear.

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A door bearing the red cross opened and the two ponies—accompanied with another EqU Medic in the colors of Nurse Redheart created by the "Copyspawn system"—marched into action. The clone was equipped with the Quick-Fix while Fluttershy herself had the standard Medi Gun.

Outside was utter chaos. The line was getting pushed further back and nearing its breaking point and the rest were about to retreat. The other EqU Engineer had been 'sent away', both Sentry Guns were destroyed, Applejack was low on metal to make another, and Derpy was critically injured and was hiding behind cover further back from the line. Rainbow had since fallen from the window and was crawling on the ground, too injured to fly. Spike was running frantically towards the line.

"Medic!", he cried out before being slammed by several rockets, sending him landing face-first on the ground in front of Fluttershy, who gasped in shock.

"You know what to do.", Chronicle told her.

She nodded, flipped a switch on the Medi Gun, and a yellow healing beam that bubbled crosses of the Medic and butterflies of her cutie mark was fired. This beam made its way to Spike, who was quickly and completely healed. He got up, he said, "Thanks, Fluttershy!" before heading back to the battlefield. Meanwhile, the other EqU Medic healed up Derpy, who gave a word of thanks before getting back into the battlefield as well.

Fluttershy then turned to Rainbow Dash and aimed her Medi Gun at her, only to realize that the beam was on Chronicle after Spike left the beam's range. The blue unicorn noticed this and moved toward a red truck further into the battlefield, breaking himself from the beam so that it would make its way to the cyan pegasus. Rainbow was up in a second and she leapt to her feet, hovering in the air for a second.

"Yeah, thanks, Fluttershy!", she said before taking off. "Woohoohoo!" She flew up to a BLU Soldier and whacked him with her bat. "Aww yeah!"

Just then, coming over the crest of the hill was a massive horde of BLU Soldiers, a larger one than was previously held off. And not only did they have all sorts of weapons, they had all kinds of headgear, and not just helmets.

"Aww, hay no!", gasped Pinkie.

"This isn't good.", said Twilight.

"I'm not sure we can hold against this.", said Applejack.

"Don't worry, girls!", voiced out Chronicle as he stepped out with the two Medics behind him. "I can handle that. We now have the ÜberCharge."

"Chronicle!", called out Fluttershy. "Are you sure about this?"

"Only one way to find out." He gave one more look at the Soldiers, who were being futilely held off by the others. "Hit it! Both of you!"

Both Medics flipped another switch in their Medi Guns and their backpacks started humming with power. Both of them then fired their healing beams at Chronicle, whose eyes popped open from the boost of power brimming in his body. "EYAAAAAAAAAH!", he cried out as a blue coat of energy enveloped him and turned his eyes white. "HA HA!" A similar coat, but yellow, enveloped Fluttershy, who was too focused on healing to notice the change. Only the other EqU Medic retained her appearance. The three marched forward, the EqU Medic clone using the other two as cover as the BLU Soldiers' rockets barraged Chronicle, who shrugged them all off thanks to the ÜberCharges.

This taste of power got him laughing like crazy, catching the attention of the other EqU members in bewilderment. "**I'm invincible!**"

"What in blazes…", gasped Applejack.

"Holy guacamole!", gasped Spike.

"That is **so** awesome!", squeed Rainbow.

"Whoa!", gasped Twilight.

Pinkie just drew a long breath while Derpy glimpsed the ÜberCharged Chronicle with her other eye.

Via the "Copyspawn system", Tasic communicated through the EqU Medic clone and said, "Girls! Spike! Chronicle's still just one pony. Help us out!"

Immediately, the remaining six EqUs charged as well, staying with the ÜberCharged pair as cover while they all mowed down BLU Soldier after BLU Soldier as they fell over dead in rapid succession. Eventually, the nine EqU mercs reached the BLU checkpoint just before the ÜberCharges ran out, claiming victory.

EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2

After the victory, EqU continued to rest at the building, where Jothicu began working on giving the others what was needed for the ÜberCharge to work on them, starting with Derpy Hooves and Pinkie Pie. The rest loafed around as they (save for Fluttershy and Chronicle) waited for their turn. Applejack was reading an instruction manual on the Engineer's Sentry Gun, Rarity was brushing her mane while taking with Thenam, Rainbow Dash was napping on a gurney, Fluttershy was reading a few sheets Jothicu gave her, Spike was licking his gem-on-a-stick, Twilight Sparkle was reading a reference guide of some kind, and Chronicle was speaking with Tasic.

"That looks good. Very nice there. Yes!", said Jothicu as he finished the application.

"Thanks a lot, Doc!", said Pinkie as her pod opened.

"Thanks, Doctor.", said Derpy as her pod did the same.

The two ponies stepped out—well, Pinkie hopped out—and they waved to the others. Jothicu then called out, "Spike, Rainbow Dash, you're next."

Rainbow and Spike quickly got up, saying "Finally!" as they made their way to the pods and entered them.

As the pods closed, Thenam suddenly shouted, "Why did I not think of that?! I should add hats and miscellaneous items in the Customizer!"

"Well, I do hope the Spy's got some fashionable accessories.", Rarity said.

"Maybe, but given he's male…"

"I get it. Do not expect too much."

EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2

nightelf37: And that's it for now.

Chronicle: Really? That seemed to be more Medic strategy than actual story.

nightelf37: Sorry about that. At least I didn't go "cutscene power to the max" since I had another Medic with the Quick-Fix. The secret is that a chip is placed in the mane of the pony. For Spike's case, it will be in his 'pocket'.

Chronicle: What pocket? The one where he kept his gem when Rarity got ponynapped?

nightelf37: Yes. See ya on Third!


	14. Just For Fun

nightelf37: About time I decided to make this sort of crap.

Chronicle: What sort of crap?

nightelf37: Lines (both responses and voice commands) for those MLP/TF2 crossovers out there. However, I'm also adding more than just the Mane Cast; I'm also adding lines for Derpy and you.

Chronicle: I see.

nightelf37: Readers, if you fell like another line can be put up, just comment me. There's nothing chapter-related here.

EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2

**Voice Commands**

Voice Responses are contextually triggered lines that play after the player has achieved something, for instance killing a certain amount of enemies with a Primary or Melee Weapon, or the player has triggered something, like being set on fire. Each unit has several vocal responses, all of which are listed below. Not only are there lines of EqU here, but also lines for RED and BLU in kill-related and Domination responses.

**Kill-related responses**

After Killing More than 1 Enemy in 20 Seconds with a Primary Weapon

Rainbow: Not so tough now, are you?!  
Derpy: Wheat worms!  
Spike: How's that?!  
Chronicle: Do NOT underestimate us!  
Applejack: Yee-haw!  
Rarity: How uncouth!

Soldier: Fillies!  
Heavy: All of you are foals!  
Heavy: Who sent all these fillies to fight?!

After Killing More than 3 Enemies in 20 Seconds with a Primary Weapon (exc. Scout and Spy) or Melee Weapon (Medic)

Spike: Blammo!  
Chronicle: We can more than match your abilities!  
Applejack: Would you look at that?

Soldier: This is MY world. Ponies are not welcome in my world.  
Heavy: What sick man sends ponies to fight me?  
Medic: Zat was doktor-assisted equicide!  
Sniper: They made our shirts for ponies, too?!

Destructions (Demoman)

Spike: Ka-boom!  
Spike: Ka-blooie!

Upon Killing an Enemy's Medic while being healed (Heavy)

Chronicle: Now I got the advantage!

Heavy: Where is your pony doctor now?!

Sentry Gun kill streak (Engineer)

Applejack: Careful there, pardner.

Wrangler kill (Engineer)

Applejack: Gotcha!

Destroying a building (exc. Pyro)

Rainbow: Busted!  
Derpy: Oops!  
Chronicle: Your building's wrecked!

Heavy: I destroy little pony toys! (1)

Kill assist

Rainbow: We got 'em!  
Derpy: Thanks!|Spike: We did it!  
Chronicle: Nice work!  
Applejack: Nice goin', pardner!  
Twilight: Wow, thanks!  
Rarity: I thank you for your assistance.

Melee Kill (and shield bash kills for Demoman)

Rainbow: Pow!  
Derpy: Yaaaaagh!  
Spike: Yeah!  
Chronicle: You're done!

Backstabbing an Enemy (Spy)

Rarity: Oh my stars, I made quite a mess.

**Domination-related responses**

Domination (exc. Engineer and Spy)

Rainbow: Who's the best now?!  
Spike: (Evil laugh)  
Chronicle: We ponies and dragon are the best!  
Applejack: Y'all want an honest opinion? This Element of Honesty dominated all y'all flanks!  
Twilight: Tough love, baby!

Soldier: I may not have joined this team to kill fillies like you, but since you're here, I might as well!  
Soldier: (to ponies only) This American boot just kicked your flank back to Equestria.  
Soldier: (If The Tin Soldier set is equipped) I am a robot! I was built to kill ponies!  
Soldier: (If The Tin Soldier set is equipped) I am a robot! I am pro-grammed to give you a sensible manecut!  
Soldier: (If The Tin Soldier set is equipped) My foot will transform into a foot - with your flank wrapped around it!  
Soldier: (If The Tin Soldier set is equipped) Scientists in the future have studied your flank for centuries - and sent me back in time to kick it!  
Demoman: See! I told ya they were a bunch o' wee horsies!  
Heavy: I am amused by entire little team! (1)  
Medic: If only I can find out how these ponies talk…  
Medic: I wonder how their vocal chords work…  
Sniper: Fightin' men might not be your thing, lass.  
Sniper: Where'd I get you that time? The hock? The flank? I'm losing track. …Hey, that rhymes.  
Sniper: Wave goodbye to your "cutie mark", wanker...

Dominating a Scout

Rainbow: You gonna cry now, huh?

Scout: (to Rainbow Dash) About rainbows making me cry? That was a lie!  
Scout: (to other clones) **I'm** the real Scout around here!  
Soldier: Dominated, equine lesbian! (2)  
Demoman: Dominated, sky pony!  
Engineer: (to Rainbow Dash) Dominated, rainbow blur.  
Sniper: Dominated, you miniature flyin' horse!  
Spy: Weren't you supposed to be 20 percent cooler than me?  
Spy: Here lies Rainbow Dash: she flew fast and was a lesbian. (2)  
Spy: (mimicking Rainbow Dash) This is Rainbow! Scouts make me cry! Over!

Dominating a Soldier

Scout: Can't hit what you can't see, wall-eyes!  
Soldier: Dominated, derp-eyes, go see a doctor!  
Engineer: Next time, focus your eyes and you might see it comin'.  
Sniper: You should get your eyes checked!  
Spy: You can never see me coming with those eyes!

Dominating a Pyro

Scout: Suck it, blabbermouth!  
Soldier: You fight like a girl! Oh, wait... You ARE a girl!  
Soldier: Dominated! You pink menace!  
Engineer: You speak too much, girl.  
Sniper: You are a creepy, pink little bugger, ain't ya?  
Spy: So, your special talent is partying? Mine is murdering people.

Dominating a Demoman

Scout: You never had a chance, squirt!  
Soldier: Consider yourself dominated, you pathetic excuse for a dragon!  
Demoman: Dominated, tiny mythical creature!  
Engineer: You're too young to be in the battlefield, son.  
Sniper: Tagged ya, ya little lizard!  
Spy: How to kill your dragon…I think I can answer that.

Dominating a Heavy

Demoman: DOMINATED, ya carrot-top blondie!  
Spy: Your precious sandvich won't save you now, boy!

Dominating an Engineer

Scout: Next time, make sure you understand how your stuff works!  
Soldier: Stop hiding behind your little toys and fight like a mare!  
Demoman: You come wide at me again, girl, I'll stick that wrench right up yer flank!  
Engineer: You just ain't doin' it right, sally.  
Engineer: Just because you got my stuff doesn't mean you can match mah skills.  
Sniper: Dom-in-ated, ya tech stealer!  
Spy: (mockingly) Howdy, sugarcube!  
Spy: (mimicking Applejack) This is Applejack! Pears make me cry! (maniacal laugh)

Dominating a Medic

Scout: Diagnosis: you suck, sissy!  
Soldier: You do not belong in the battlefield!  
Demoman: DOMINATED, you sickeningly swee—(belches) Ahh…hah.  
Engineer: You're too cute to be out here.  
Sniper: Don't think your cuteness will stay my finger!  
Spy: Aww, I almost died from cuteness that time! Not!

Dominating a Sniper

Scout: Snipe that, egghead!  
Soldier: You just got dominated, you sparkly vampire! (3)  
Soldier: You just got dominated, you glimmering bloodsucker! (3)  
Soldier: I'm gonna mail my boot to your princess with your flank wrapped around it!  
Soldier: That's where books get you, egghead.  
Engineer: Ya think you're smart? I got **eleven** PhDs.  
Sniper: Take that, booksmarts!  
Sniper: Perhaps you can send a letter to your princess about how you're such a failure!  
Spy: You disgust me, adorkable pony!

Dominating a Spy

Rainbow: I knew you were a spy!  
Rainbow: Hard to stab a pony in the back when she's beating your head in, huh?

Scout: Dominated, ya prissy mare!  
Soldier: Gotcha, ya little lady!  
(JOKE) Soldier: (NOT to Rarity or copies out of her) Dominated, ya great and powerful bag of hot air!  
Demoman: Dominated, ya prissy lassie!  
Engineer: Dominated, bitch!  
Sniper: Backstab that, missy!  
Spy: A lady like you should stay home!

Revenge Kill

Rainbow: Back at 'ya, knucklehead!  
Spike: How's that?!  
Chronicle: That's what you get for taking me out!  
Applejack: Woooeee!  
Twilight: Oh, doesn't that hurt? Darn right it did.

Heavy: Next time, pick on someone your own little size! (1)  
Engineer: You ponies shoulda' oughta' brought some cowboys with ya.  
Medic: Frauleins!  
Sniper: Piss off, you little ponies! (1)

Revenge Kill directed at X (Sniper)

Twilight: (at Scout) You're not getting the jump on me again.  
Twilight: (at Soldier) That's for blowing me back into respawn.  
Twilight: (at Pyro) I am not burning up a fifth time.  
Twilight: (at Demoman) I can "see the bloody bombs", thank you very much.  
Twilight: (at Heavy) Finally gotcha.  
Twilight: (at Sniper) Lesson learned. Wanker.  
Twilight: (at Spy) Skill always trumps luck. (lower tone) Unless you're Pinkie Pie.

Sniper: (at Scout) How do you like that, ya speedy little pony? (1)  
Sniper: (at Soldier) I don't know how you hit me that time, but this is how it ends.  
Sniper: (at Pyro) Thanks for the warm up, pink-ster.  
Sniper: (at Medic) I will not make the same mistake again.  
Sniper: (at Sniper) Go to hell, egghead.  
Sniper: (at Spy) Skill always beats luck, lady.

**Event-related responses**

Round Start

Rainbow: Let's get 'em!  
Derpy: Woohoo!  
Pinkie: Yippee! Let's go!  
Spike: Let's do it, everypony! Yee-haw!  
Chronicle: All right, everypony! Let's do this!  
Applejack: Giddy up!  
Fluttershy: (softly) Let's go.  
Twilight: Let's do this.  
Rarity: Let's get started, shall we?

Sudden Death

Rainbow: This stinks!  
Derpy: What just happened?  
Pinkie: Sudden death?  
Spike: Well this sucks.  
Chronicle: Uh oh. Things are gonna get rough!  
Applejack: Come on, fellas!  
Fluttershy: Oh no.  
Twilight: (grumpy) That could've gone better.  
Rarity: This is The. Worst. Possible. Thing!

Stalemate

Rainbow: You have GOT to be kidding me!  
Derpy: Yay!  
Pinkie: At least they didn't win!  
Spike: (sarcastic) That went well.  
Chronicle: We'll do better next time.  
Applejack: Coulda gone worse, if ya ask me.  
Fluttershy: Thank goodness they didn't win.  
Twilight: Well, as long as they don't win…  
Rarity: That's rather unfortunate.

Set on Fire

Rainbow: Ow, ow, ow, I'm on fire!  
Derpy: Hey. I'm on fire.  
Pinkie: Heeeelp!  
Spike: You can't burn me!  
Chronicle: Oww! I'm burning!  
Applejack: I'm burnin' up!  
Fluttershy: Help! I'm on fire!  
Twilight: Aaaah! I'm on fire!  
Rarity: My mane's on fire! Help!

Hit by Jarate/Mad Milk

Rainbow: Auugghh!  
Derpy: (if hit by Jarate) (makes licking noise) Yuck!  
Derpy: (if hit by Mad Milk) (makes licking noise) Tasty!  
Pinkie: (if hit by Jarate) (makes licking noise) Ewwww!  
Pinkie: (if hit by Mad Milk) (makes licking noise) What a waste of delicious milk. Wait…  
Spike: Hey!  
Spike: (if hit by Jarate) Ewww! Gross!  
Spike: (if hit by Mad Milk) Hey! Don't waste this! Hold on…  
Chronicle: (if hit by Jarate) Yuck!  
Chronicle: (if hit by Mad Milk) What a waste of milk! Wait a sec…  
Applejack: (if hit by Jarate) That just ain't right!  
Applejack: (if hit by Mad Milk) What a waste of good mi—! Hold up…  
Fluttershy: (whimper)  
Twilight: (if hit by Jarate) Ewww! Get it off me!  
Twilight: (if hit by Mad Milk) That's a waste of— Wait a second…  
Twilight: (while scoped) Hey!  
Rarity: My beautiful hair!  
Rarity: (if hit by Jarate) EWWW! YOU VILE, DISGUSTING, HORRID, AWFUL…(incomprehensible)

Teleportation

Rainbow: Thanks for the ride, hardhat!  
Derpy: Yeah, Engie, woohoo!  
Pinkie: Yippee! I wanna go again!  
Spike: Thanks for the ride!  
Chronicle: Thanks for the ride!  
Applejack: Much obliged, sugarcube.  
Fluttershy: Thanks, Engineer.  
Twilight: Thanks!  
Rarity: Thank you, Engineer.

-If Engineer is Applejack, she is addressed by name.-

Healed by Medic

Rainbow: (lets out a deep exhale) Yeah, thanks, doc.  
Derpy: Thanks, Doctor.  
Pinkie: Thanks a lot, Doc!  
Spike: Thanks, Doc!  
Chronicle: Thanks, Doctor.  
Applejack: I appreciate it, Doc.  
Fluttershy: Thank you, Doctor.  
Twilight: Thank you, Doctor.  
Rarity: Thank you, doctor.

-If Medic is Fluttershy, she is addressed by name.-

Under the effects of an ÜberCharge

Rainbow: I'm unstoppable!  
Pinkie: Let's party!  
Spike: Let's show them what we Equestrians can do!  
Chronicle: Get behind me!  
Chronicle: I'm invincible!  
Applejack: Let's do this earth pony style!  
Twilight: Now I'll show you…  
Rarity: Oh, It. Is. On!

Building a Building (Engineer)

Applejack: Buildin' a {Sentry, Dispenser, Teleporter}.

Packing Up a Building (Engineer)

Applejack: Movin' out!

Moving a Building (Engineer)

Applejack: Heavy load comin' through!

Replanting a Building (Engineer)

Applejack: Phew!

Building Sapped by Enemy Spy (Engineer)

Applejack: Spy's sappin' mah {Sentry, Dispenser, Teleporter}!

Building Destroyed (Engineer)

Applejack: Mah {Sentry, Dispenser, Teleporter}'s destroyed!

**Weapon-related responses**

Crit-a-Cola's effects wear off (Scout)

Rainbow: Uh oh!

Mad Milk toss (Scout)

Rainbow: Heads up!

On stunning an enemy (Scout)

Rainbow: Nailed ya!

Jarate Toss (Sniper)

Twilight: Heads up!

Buff Banner/Battalion's Backup/Concheror/_Royal Canterlot Hallmark_ Activated (Soldier)

Derpy: EqU is best team!  
Derpy: Muffins!  
Derpy: (blows horn)

Upon Sandvich consumption (Heavy)

Chronicle: I feel good!

Headshot (Sniper)

Twilight: Gotcha.

Looking at enemy while scoped (Sniper)

Twilight: (whispering) Okay, steady.

Melee Kill (Sniper)

Twilight: Can't believe I had to resort to this.

SMG Kill (Sniper)

Twilight: You left me no choice.

**Objective-related responses**

After Picking Up Intelligence

Rainbow: Heh, heh, heh.  
Pinkie: Lookie what I got!  
Chronicle: Not my job to do this, but…  
Fluttershy: I hope nobody minds if I take this…

After Capturing Intelligence

Rainbow: I got it! I got it!  
Derpy: Delivery!  
Pinkie: Whoopee!  
Spike: That'll teach 'em!  
Chronicle: Can't believe I had to be the one.  
Applejack: That was easy.  
Fluttershy: Wow. I can't believe I did it.  
Twilight: That wasn't so hard.  
Rarity: My pleasure.

After Capturing Control Point

Rainbow: Got it!  
Derpy: I got it!  
Pinkie: Whee! We got the point!  
Spike: It's finally ours!  
Chronicle: This point's ours now!  
Applejack: We got it!  
Fluttershy: We did it. Yay.  
Twilight: We got the point!  
Rarity: This point belongs to us.

Standing on captured Point, firing weapon

Rainbow: Come on! Onto the point!  
Derpy: Uhh, guys? The point's right over here.  
Pinkie: Come on, guys! Onto the point!  
Spike: Come on, guys! Onto the point!  
Chronicle: Get to the point right now!  
Applejack: Plant yerself on the point!  
Fluttershy: If it's okay with you, could you please get on the point?  
Twilight: Get on the point!  
Rarity: Come stand on the point!

Standing on a cappable Control Point, firing weapon

Rainbow: Let's get on the cap!  
Pinkie: Let's start capturing the point!  
Chronicle: Everypony onto the point!  
Chronicle: Stand **on** the point, not near it!  
Twilight: Get on the capture point!

Defense

Rainbow: Oh yeah!  
Derpy: Woohoo!  
Pinkie: Woohoo!  
Spike: That's the way!  
Chronicle: Ha! You don't stand a chance against EqU!  
Applejack: Heeeyaaah!  
Fluttershy: Whew.  
Twilight: All right!  
Rarity: Splendid!

**Payload-related responses**

Attacking: Cart Goes Forward

Rainbow: Let's keep it moving!  
Pinkie: Let's get this cart moving!  
Chronicle: Come on! Let's get this moving!  
Twilight: All right. Get that cart moving!

Attacking: Cart Goes Back

Rainbow: Somepony get to the cart!  
Pinkie: Where's the cart going?  
Chronicle: Cart's going the wrong way!  
Twilight: The cart's going the wrong way!

Defending: Cart Goes Forward

Rainbow: What the hay is everyone doing?!  
Pinkie: Here it comes!  
Chronicle: That cart must **not** get to the final terminus!  
Twilight: Here comes the cart!

Defending: Cart Goes Back

Rainbow: Alright, alright!  
Pinkie: Bye-bye, cart!  
Chronicle: Let's get this cart back where it came from!  
Twilight: All right! The cart's moving back!

Attacking: Stay Close to Cart

Rainbow: Stick to the cart!  
Pinkie: Stay with the cart!  
Chronicle: Don't abandon the cart!  
Twilight: Stay with the cart, everypony!

Attacking: Cart Has Stopped

Rainbow: Who stopped pushing the cart?!  
Pinkie: Huh? What's happened to the cart?  
Chronicle: Uh oh! The cart has stopped!  
Twilight: The cart's not moving!

Defending: Stop The Bomb

Rainbow: Gotta stop the cart!  
Pinkie: We gotta stop that meanie cart!  
Chronicle: We must stop that cart!  
Twilight: We gotta stop that cart!

Upon full ÜberCharge Meter (Medic)

Fluttershy: It's ready.

Activating an ÜberCharge (Medic)

Fluttershy: Here we go.

EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2

**Responses**

The following dictates the voice command set for each of the ponies (or dragon).

**Medic!**

All: Medic!

While aiming at friendly Medic

Rainbow: Come on, Doc, this way!  
Derpy: Over here, Doc.  
Pinkie: Follow me, Doc!  
Spike: Come on, Doc!  
Chronicle: Stay with me, Doctor!  
Applejack: Follow me, Doc!  
Twilight: This way, Doctor.  
Rarity: Come this way, Doctor!

-If Medic is Fluttershy, she is addressed by name.-

**Thanks!**

Rainbow: Thanks, buddy!  
Derpy: Nice work!  
Pinkie: Thanks a lot!  
Spike: Thanks!  
Chronicle: Thank you!  
Applejack: I'm mighty thankful!  
Fluttershy: Thanks.  
Twilight: Thanks!  
Rarity: Many thanks.

After a kill/kill assist:

Rainbow: We got 'em!  
Spike: We did it!  
Chronicle: We make a great team!  
Applejack: Nice goin', pardner!  
Twilight: Wow, thanks!  
Rarity: I thank you for your assistance.

**Go Go Go!**

Rainbow: Let's go, let's go!  
Derpy: Let's go!  
Pinkie: Let's go!  
Spike: Let's move!  
Chronicle: Go, go, go!  
Applejack: Move 'em out!  
Fluttershy: Could we please hurry?  
Twilight: Let's go!  
Rarity: Let us move!

**Move up!**

Rainbow: Let's move it up!  
Derpy: Onward!  
Pinkie: Let's move up!  
Spike: Move it up, everypony!  
Chronicle: Move that up!  
Applejack: Gotta move that gear up!  
Fluttershy: Let's move up, if that's all right.  
Twilight: Let's move it up!  
Rarity: Move that up!

**Go left!**

Rainbow: Alright, to the left!  
Derpy: To the right! No, left!  
Pinkie: To the left!  
Spike: To the left!  
Chronicle: Go left!  
Applejack: Head left!  
Fluttershy: Left, please.  
Twilight: Turn left!  
Rarity: Left!

**Go right!**

Rainbow: To the right!  
Derpy: To the left! No, right!  
Pinkie: To the right!  
Spike: To the right!  
Chronicle: Go right!  
Applejack: Head right!  
Fluttershy: Right, please.  
Twilight: Turn right!  
Rarity: Right!

**Yes**

Rainbow: Yeah!  
Derpy: Okay!  
Derpy: Yeperdoodle!  
Pinkie: Okey-dokey-lokey!  
Spike: Okay!  
Chronicle: Sure thing.  
Applejack: Alrighty then.  
Fluttershy: Okay.  
Twilight: All right.  
Rarity: Of course!

**No**

Rainbow: Uh-uh.  
Derpy: Uh-uh.  
Pinkie: Nope.  
Spike: No way!  
Chronicle: Can't do that.  
Applejack: No can do.  
Fluttershy: Sorry, but I can't.  
Twilight: No.  
Rarity: I'm afraid not.

**Incoming!**

All: Incoming!

**Spy!**

Rainbow: We got a Spy around here!  
Derpy: I sense a Spy!  
Pinkie: Twitcha, twitch! There's a Spy!  
Spike: We got a Spy here!  
Chronicle: We got ourselves a Spy!  
Applejack: We got a Spy in here!  
Fluttershy: There's a Spy. (whimper)  
Twilight: There's a Spy here.  
Rarity: We got a Spy among us!

While aiming at another (if pointing at 'self', replace {name} with 'me')

Rainbow: That's not {name}!  
Derpy: That isn't {name}!  
Pinkie: That's not {name}!  
Spike: That isn't {name}!  
Chronicle: That is not {name}!  
Applejack: That ain't {name}!  
Fluttershy: That's not {name}.  
Twilight: That isn't {name}!  
Rarity: That is not {name}!

If aiming at a clone

Rainbow: That {class}'s a Spy!  
Rainbow: That Spy's not one of us!  
Derpy: That {class} is a Spy!  
Derpy: That Spy is not ours!  
Pinkie: The {class} is a Spy!  
Pinkie: The Spy's not our Spy!  
Spike: That {class}'s a Spy!  
Spike: That Spy's a traitor!  
Chronicle: That {class} is a Spy!  
Chronicle: That Spy is not our ally!  
Applejack: That {class}'s a Spy!  
Applejack: That Spy's one a' them!  
Fluttershy: The {class} is a Spy.  
Fluttershy: The Spy is not one of ours.  
Twilight: That {class}'s a Spy!  
Twilight: That Spy's an enemy!  
Rarity: The {class} is a Spy.  
Rarity: That Spy is not one of us!

**Sentry Ahead!**

Rainbow: Sentry ahead!  
Derpy: I see a sentry!  
Pinkie: Sentry right ahead!  
Spike: Sentry up ahead!  
Chronicle: Sentry ahead!  
Applejack: Sentry right up there!  
Fluttershy: Careful. There's a sentry ahead.  
Twilight: Sentry up ahead!  
Rarity: Sentry just ahead!

**Teleporter Here!**

Rainbow: Need a teleporter here!  
Derpy: I'd like a teleporter here!  
Pinkie: We need a teleporter here!  
Spike: I need a teleporter here!  
Chronicle: Place a Teleporter here.  
Applejack: Somepony wanna wrassle up a Teleporter right here?  
Fluttershy: Teleporter here, please.  
Twilight: I need a Teleporter here!  
Rarity: I need a Teleporter right here.

**Dispenser Here!**

Rainbow: Need a dispenser here!  
Derpy: I'd like a dispenser here!  
Pinkie: We need a dispenser here!  
Spike: I need a dispenser here!  
Chronicle: Place a Dispenser here.  
Applejack: We need a Dispenser right here.  
Fluttershy: Dispenser here, please.  
Twilight: I need a Dispenser here!  
Rarity: I need a Dispenser right here.

**Sentry Here!**

Rainbow: Need a sentry here!  
Derpy: I'd like a sentry here!  
Pinkie: We need a sentry here!  
Spike: I need a sentry here!  
Chronicle: Place a Sentry here.  
Applejack: We need a Sentry right here.  
Fluttershy: Sentry here, please.  
Twilight: I need a Sentry Gun here!  
Rarity: I need a Sentry right here.

**Activate ÜberCharge!**

Rainbow: Hit it, Doc!  
Derpy: Let's go, Doc!  
Pinkie: Lemme at it, Doc!  
Spike: Hit it, Doc!  
Chronicle: Hit it, Doc!  
Applejack: Hit it, Doc!  
Fluttershy: I'm ready, Doctor.  
Twilight: Hit that charge, Doctor!  
Rarity: If you will, Doctor.

-If Medic is Fluttershy, she is addressed by name.-

**ÜberCharge Ready! (Medic)**

Fluttershy: ÜberCharge is ready.

**Help!**

Rainbow: Little help here?  
Derpy: Little help?  
Pinkie: Heeeelp!  
Spike: Help me!  
Chronicle: I could use some help here!  
Applejack: I need some doggone help!  
Fluttershy: Help!  
Twilight: Help me!  
Rarity: Some assistance, please!

While standing on friendly capture point

Rainbow: I could use some help defending!  
Derpy: Little help defending, please?  
Pinkie: Come on and help me protect this point!  
Spike: I can't hold them alone!  
Chronicle: I need help defending this point!  
Applejack: We gotta hold this point!  
Fluttershy: I need help defending, please.  
Twilight: I need your help to defend the point!  
Rarity: I could use some help here!

While standing on a neutral or enemy capture point

Rainbow: I could use some help nabbing this!  
Derpy: Little help getting this, please?  
Pinkie: Come on and help me get this point!  
Spike: Could anypony give me a hoof here?!  
Chronicle: I need help capturing this point!  
Applejack: Help me capture this point!  
Fluttershy: Could you please get onto the point with me?  
Twilight: I need your help to capture this point!  
Rarity: Please come help me capture this point, would you?

**Battle Cry**

Rainbow: Let's get 'em!  
Derpy: Yaaaaahhh!  
Pinkie: Wheeee!  
Spike: Let's do it, everypony!  
Chronicle: Let's do this!  
Applejack: Giddy up!  
Fluttershy: Here we go.  
Twilight: Let's do this.  
Rarity: Shall we?

While aiming at an enemy, melee weapon equipped

Rainbow: Wanna do this the hard way?!  
Chronicle: Bring it on!  
Applejack: Get over here!  
Fluttershy: Please don't make me do this.  
Rarity: Just because I'm a lady doesn't mean I can't handle myself.

**Cheers**

Rainbow: Aww, yeah!  
Derpy: Woohoo!  
Pinkie: Yippee!  
Spike: We did it!  
Chronicle: All right!  
Applejack: Whooooeee!  
Fluttershy: Woohoo.  
Twilight: Yes yes yes!  
Rarity: Excellent!

**Jeers**

Rainbow: Boooo!  
Derpy: Not impressed…  
Pinkie: That wasn't nice.  
Spike: Aww, come on!  
Chronicle: We can't keep going like this!  
Applejack: Come on, fellas!  
Fluttershy: Boo hoo.  
Twilight: That could've gone better.  
Rarity: What a disaster!

**Positive**

Rainbow: All right!  
Derpy: Woohoo!  
Pinkie: Yippee!  
Spike: That's the spirit!  
Chronicle: All right!  
Applejack: Well don't that beat all?  
Fluttershy: Yay.  
Twilight: All right!  
Rarity: Magnificent!

**Negative**

Rainbow: Awww!  
Derpy: Aww!  
Pinkie: Aww…  
Spike: Man!  
Chronicle: Dammit!  
Applejack: Dagnabit!  
Fluttershy: Ooh…  
Twilight: Argh…  
Rarity: Oh, please…

**Nice Shot!**

Rainbow: Nice one there!  
Derpy: Nice work!  
Pinkie: Nice shot!  
Spike: Nice shot!  
Chronicle: Good shot!  
Applejack: Nice shootin'!  
Fluttershy: Nice shot.  
Twilight: Nice shot!  
Rarity: Excellent shot.

**Good Job!**

Rainbow: Nice work!  
Derpy: Nice work!  
Pinkie: Good job!  
Spike: Nice work, there!  
Chronicle: You did well!  
Applejack: Good work, sugarcube.  
Fluttershy: Way to go.  
Twilight: Good one!  
Rarity: Fine job!

(1) Title reference.  
(2) The rainbow flag represents the LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) Pride Movement. This is also a reference to how some fans interpret Rainbow Dash.  
(3) A joke on her name and a certain book series. And given how not-all-there the Soldier is…

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nightelf37: And that's it for now. It's quite hard getting the responses to be in-character, you know. See ya on Third!


	15. Accessories, Applebucks, and Item Sets

A day after acquiring the ÜberCharge…

EqU was doing practice battles in Well, practicing Capture the Flag against RED simulations. They were also trying out new kinds of hats and accessories RED and BLU wore.

Among them was an affectionate gift to Applejack. On her head was the Texas Ten Gallon, a normally white Stetson-style cowboy hat with a thin dark leather band circling the crown. It was painted Muskelmannbraun (or was it Radigan Conagher Brown?) so that it was as reminiscent of Applejack's old stetson as possible.

She was also trying out a modification of the Engineer's Gunslinger. As Thenam didn't want Jothicu to do any form of amputation, he turned it into a set of "Power Boots" called Ironbuckers. The Ironbuckers were mechanical footwear comprising segmented parts for holding the wrench (only one of them had it), wires, orange-colored casing, and pressure gauges. The reason a set was made so that Applejack's balance wouldn't be compromised should she need to run. They were also made of lightweight material and had cushioning on the inside, so they didn't weigh her down or make her uncomfortable.

Speaking of wrenches, she had a new one as well. The Southern Hospitality was a modified pipe wrench with a spiked knuckle guard and a sharp metal piece on the top. While the Ironbuckers were based on the Gunslinger, they were treated as "miscellaneous items" in the Customizer and not "melee weapon", thus allowing her to wield both the boots and the wrench.

_The Ironbuckers, for some reason, disable you from building your standard Sentry Guns. Instead, you'll be able to construct the Combat Mini-Sentry Gun._, Thenam's words echoed in her head. _The Mini-Sentry takes less than three seconds to build, starts with full health upon deployment, costs less, and rotates and fires faster than a Level 1 Sentry. However, it cannot be upgraded or repaired, and each shot deals half the damage of the Level 1 Sentry. As for the Southern Hospitality, striking an opponent with it will cause them to bleed—that is, lose health like a burn—for five seconds. As a downside, you can't deliver any critical hits like with all other weapons, and you're more susceptible to fire. Also, remember that when you change your melee weapon, any buildings you have up will be destroyed._

After constructing a Mini-Sentry Gun right on a key point behind the dispenser, she received a warning from Rarity about an oncoming Spy through the communications system in their cards. Wary, she got to work on upgrading the dispenser, watching for anything suspicious. So far, there was nothing—then she felt her tail touch something. Immediately, she turned around—and saw nothing. Then she realized that the Spy was invisible and seemed to have halted in the backstab-turned-to-be-frontal-attack. Immediately, she swung her wrench in a 360 around herself just in case the Spy has turned around for another try for a backstab—and landed a hit. The Spy promptly dropped his cloak and fled, bleeding all the way. The Mini-Sentry quickly turned and opened fire and the Spy was dead shortly after.

Just then, she heard her Mini-Sentry get sapped. Immediately, she whacked her wrench on it to get rid of the Sapper. A second later, she decided to rear up and deliver a solid buck—and struck another RED Spy about to backstab her.

Another advantage of the ponies over the humans; they can deliver back attacks in the form of bucks. Not all were capable of it though; Derpy Hooves was more likely to slam her butt on the perpetrator, Chronicle's Minigun was too heavy for him to deliver a kick without falling onto his face, Fluttershy usually hovers while using the Medi Gun and wouldn't do so anyway, and Twilight Sparkle was usually too focused on sniping and would sooner use the kukri.

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Elsewhere, a RED Scout was pursuing Rainbow Dash, who wore the Cross-Comm Express on her head, which was a cyan-colored brimmed cap accompanied with a headset and a pair of goggles, connected to a glowing monocle. She also carried the Intelligence and was being shot at by a pistol, but she strafed every shot.

After turning a corner, the RED Scout saw Rainbow suddenly stop and raise her back hooves. Unfortunately, he couldn't lose momentum fast enough before getting kicked in the stomach, resulting in a fatal strike.

Just after that, the pegasus could see another RED Scout taunting her.

As the Scout pointed to the sky, then readied his bat for a swing, the pegasus was already onto him, firing with her pistol. Just as she reached melee range, the Scout completed the swing—and she was 'sent away' to the limbo room, with a "ragdoll" of her 'left behind' to be sent flying.

In the limbo room, Rainbow reminded herself to be wary of Scouts swinging their bats next time. When that happens, she'll attack out of their range, or close in faster. Whilst waiting for her turn to respawn, she thought back at one of the "sets" Thenam suggested.

_The Special Delivery. Talk about speedy service! They won't see you comin'._, he had advertised. _Just equip the following items. First is the Milkman, a white peaked cap with a striped black band, and a shiny black visor. Second is the Shortstop, a four-barreled pistol with a pearl grip modified into a peppergun and loaded with shotgun-like ammunition. Third is the Mad Milk, which is __**not**__ the nourishing sort. And fourth is the Holy Mackerel, a…well, mackerel wrapped in faded newspaper and tied with a rubber band._

If she remembered correctly, the Shortstop—while having less pellets shot and a smaller clip—was more accurate, fires faster, and its pellets were twice as powerful as that of the scattergun. The Mad Milk was thrown at enemies, just like Jarate, but it doesn't short out cloaks on Spies although the dripping milk still gives them away. And the Holy Mackerel was like the Bat in every way, only it was presumably more humiliating to be killed with a fish. Not only that, everybody is somehow informed whenever somebody is hit and/or killed with it. She didn't like holding it though as it smelled to high heaven, but she was told that when all four items were equipped, she can withstand 20 percent more damage.

Just then, she was back in the respawn room, at which time she figured the extra defense might be worth a stinky fish.

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At yet another section of Well, Derpy was getting ready to storm a RED Sentry nest with Fluttershy behind her readying the ÜberCharge.

The gray pegasus wore a gray peaked cap with a black visor, bearing an emblem depicting an icon of some kind, and modeled to resemble a police officer's cap. It was called the Wiki Cap, whatever a "wiki" was. Stitched to a pocket in her fatigues was a toy doll resembling the RED Medic appropriately called the Pocket Medic.

Her current weapon was an army green rocket launcher with tan wooden handles, a leaf sight adorned with a white insignia, and a cracked wooden shoulder-rest with a wire frame exhaust port. It was the Liberty Launcher, which shoots faster and stores one less rocket than the standard rocket launcher.

As for Fluttershy, the only new accessory she wore was the Cheater's Lament, a glowing golden halo attached to her head by two slightly crooked wires. Also, in place of her bonesaw was a statuette of a man named Saxton Hale set into a small plinth. The statuette was not plated in gold like she first thought but in a strange mineral called Australium.

When she had asked what Australium was, Jothicu explained that it was the reason behind the technological advances of the nation Australia and the technology EqU has "borrowed" from RED and BLU.

When she had **then** asked who Saxton Hale was, she was told that he was a daring Australian, President and CEO of Mann Co. He was a very rich man whose pastimes are fighting, drinking, and battling with ferocious animals. "He once fought off a lion while getting a haircut, you know.", the medical researcher had said. "And sleeps with a real bear at night."

The yellow pegasus shook off those thoughts as a little ping indicated that the— "ÜberCharge is ready.", she said.

"Wait a second.", said Derpy as she completely loaded her Liberty Launcher. "Let's go, Fluttershy!"

"Here we go." She then flipped a switch in her Medi Gun and her backpack started humming with power. As she already had a healing beam trained on Derpy, the ÜberCharge began to take effect on both of them. While Fluttershy was covered in a yellow coat of energy, the coat around Derpy was colored silver.

Together, they rushed forward and Derpy started blasting the Sentry, its Engineer, and the Dispenser behind it to kingdom come.

They proceeded further in the area, taking out anybody in their way until the ÜberCharge expired and they lost their coats of energy. They also caught sight of the RED Intelligence on the ground, which had been dropped by an EqU Spy if the dropped weapon was anything to go by. Just as they did, they saw a RED Demoman and Heavy headed their way.

"Get the case.", Derpy said in a moment of brilliant thinking. "You're faster than I am. These rockets are quite heavy."

Without question, just as the Demoman launched a grenade and the Heavy primed "Sasha", Fluttershy picked up the briefcase and the two pegasi were immediately on the retreat, leaving a trail of papers along the way.

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Pinkie Pie was burning her way into the base to get the Intelligence, despite knowing that Fluttershy has already taken it. Then again, it returns once captured. She had no idea why there was a point system in this battle, but she shrugged it off. She also had the Gas Jockey's Gear "item set" equipped.

On her head was the Attendant, a worn, gray soft cap with a yellow band sitting on top of a black curved visor and a small black bowtie. She was currently using the Degreaser, a flamethrower that comprised a gas pump, "car muffler", "exhaust pipe", a fire extinguisher, and stove top burner. Somehow, it allows her to switch weapons much faster in exchange for its damage and afterburn being reduced in comparison to the standard flamethrower. On her back was the Powerjack, an antique automobile jack with a pink large "car battery" strapped to its base with heavy, yellow rubber bands.

She encountered a RED Soldier and started burning him, who countered with shotgun blasts. After burning him up enough she quickly switched to the Powerjack, then swung it on the Soldier's head, finishing him off—and somehow healing her of his attacks.

Just then, she was tackled from behind by a RED Demoman wielding the Chargin' Targe, an antique, blood-stained wooden shield (missing a portion that was splintered) with a painted yellow cross, an iron rim with bolts and a deadly center spike. She was sent rolling across the hall, but quickly got to her feet.

_Right. I'm more vulnerable to melee while I have this hammer out._, she reminded herself. She was then 'sent away' when a RED Scout took the chance to slam her on the head with his bat.

"That wasn't very nice!", she complained while waiting for her turn to respawn.

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Spike just respawned after getting 'sent away' by a Sniper's headshot. While his dragon scales would've prevented the bullet from entering his skull, the impact would've done severe or even fatal damage to his brain. He was trying out a "set" called The Expert's Ordnance.

On his head was the Scotch Bonnet, a brown "Explosive Ordnance Disposal" helmet with a damaged open visor. In his backpack was his standard stickybomb launcher and the Loch-n-Load, a double-barreled break-action grenade launcher with its two grenades loaded in each barrel. It deals more damage and its projectiles move faster than the standard grenade launcher, but it also carries less ammo, the grenades shatter harmlessly and do not bounce, and he will take more damage from his own bombs.

On his hands was the Ullapool Caber, a large "potato masher" grenade, with a white Mann Co. logo stamped on the head and black wrapping tape around the stick.. With these items together (the Scotch Bonnet was actually optional), he receives 10 percent more resistance to fire, which he doesn't deem too useful as he already has natural resistance to flames.

As he made it to the left entrance, it opened to reveal Fluttershy with the Intelligence, fleeing from a RED Pyro lighting her up. "Help! I'm on fire!", she cried out, one of the few times she raises her voice.

Immediately, Spike closed the distance, slammed into the Pyro as the pegasus continued to flee, ignoring the flames as they hit his scales, then slammed the Ullapool Caber at the Pyro, killing him and sending Spike skyward.

At least it would have were it not for the ceiling, which he hit before falling on the ground. His 'card' registered him as taking as much damage as a RED (and BLU) Demoman would, but his scales reduced the pain he felt.

He then felt the familiar sensation of a healing beam, then turned to see Fluttershy healing him, and doused in Jarate courtesy of Twilight, who stood next to her with her sniper rifle levitated nearby. The unicorn seemed hesitant and regretful of doing what she did, but a thankful smile from the pegasus eased her thoughts.

"Get into the hatch.", suggested Spike. "The water will wash off the Jarate."

"Wow. That's a good idea.", agreed Twilight. "I'll just get the case to the silo where our briefcase sits."

As she then made her way there, Fluttershy went through the hatch and into the water, Spike following her in case of any enemies.

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Later in the battle…

At the right entrance to the EqU base (technically BLU, but EqU was occupying it), Chronicle was on guard. Like Derpy, he wore a pocket in his vest containing the Pocket Medic, though it was reminiscent of the BLU one instead of the RED. On his head was the Hard Counter, a blue umbrella hat with brown ribs and the Heavy's class icon on it. _I'm gonna have to ask Thenam to modify it (the Pocket Medic) so that it would resemble Fluttershy._, he thought with a smile.

He was also trying out a new weapon; the Brass Beast. It was an antique machine gun made almost entirely of brass (duh) that was around 20 percent stronger than the regular minigun, but further reduced his movement speed while firing and spinning it up took longer too.

He was mowing down the opposition trying to enter the base his way, even flash-stepping in front of one Scout to deny access.

He had also accidentally hit an EqU Spy wearing an artist's beret (colored in An Extraordinary Abundance of Tinge) with two miniature paint brushes criss-crossing on the left side; the Frenchman's Beret. Thankfully, his weapon had no effect thanks to the FFPS.

Just then, he saw a RED Sniper toss a jar of Jarate at him. He turned his hat to defend against the foul-smelling liquid, coating it with magic just in case, and the hat took most of the urine. While he still got coated in some of the piss, it wasn't as much as usual.

"Yuck!", Chronicle cried out by impulse. This distracted him as he saw a RED Soldier to his left. He fired on the Sniper, forcing him to retreat, then turned to the Soldier and mowed him down.

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Rarity—who was the one Chronicle accidentally fired on, but was thankfully protected by the FFPS—turned a corner to the shed, but saw a Pyro headed her way, so she turned invisible and retreated. Just then, a rocket hit the ground near her and sent her flying into the moat. Since it wasn't a direct hit, she didn't lose her cloak. As she hit the water and sank for a bit, she saw a RED Engineer swim past her. Immediately, she followed him as he resurfaced and fired at him with the revolver, but didn't manage to kill him as he entered the central shed in the yard.

Losing him, she retreated to look for a health kit, bypassing Rainbow Dash (who seemed to be wearing a milkmare's hat), a dead RED Pyro, and managed to see another RED Pyro get run over by the passing train. As she then crossed the tracks, the turned to the left and found the dropped intelligence. Just as she went to grab it, a RED Soldier hit her with his shotgun before getting conked on the head by Spike.

She thanked the baby dragon as they passed one another, then picked up the briefcase and made her way back to their base. Remembering a shortcut, she jumped into the moat and found a tunnel under the water. She swam to the hatch, only to remember it was one-way. But luck was on her side; it was then that Pinkie Pie used the hatch, opening it just long enough for Rarity to cross and surface.

She made it all the way to the rocket silo where their Intelligence still stands. And then a RED Scout made his way to it, snatched it, and was on his way out. There was nothing she could do about it; and there was no need for their Intelligence to be in their base before getting the enemy's. She ran to the silo, dropped the enemy Intelligence there—and they won the battle.

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"Nice work, everypony!", cheered Tasic at the end of the battle.

They were all in the trailer, celebrating another victory, the ponies and dragon relieved of their 'mercenary' gear. Thenam was currently driving while Jothicu read a map of Mann's Land.

"Okay. We got some good news.", he announced. "Other than the fact that our dear Fluttershy is no longer breaking down as much from killing, —"

"Thanks to us saying that the Saxxy just makes statues out of them.", muttered Jothicu. "In fact, her breakdown was from her hooves drawing blood or something like that."

"—The RED and BLU mercenaries are currently in Egypt, which is rather far from here. That means we can claim the areas around here while they're gone."

"You never really told us how all this will stop the war.", Twilight said.

"Have you forgotten what I told you after our first real battle with RED at Dustbowl?"

"Oh, right."

"Also, I just heard that there's another team like ours repelling RED and BLU."

"Really?!", gasped Spike and everypony.

"But I'll have to warn you ahead of time that you might think you know these ponies. You don't."

"Are they from some other kind of Equestria?", asked Pinkie.

"Yes."

"Will I see Berry Bubble?"

"Berry Bubble?"

"Pinkie's male counterpart.", Twilight explained. "I once ended up teleporting us to another Equestria where the mares are stallions and vice-versa."

"No, these ponies aren't from that Equestria. They're from an Equestria darker than yours. An Equestria that has six other ponies as the Elements of Harmony. An Equestria…where it was Princess Celestia who turned evil instead of Princess Luna." There was a massive gasp from the eight Equestria natives. And Twilight seemed to be in deep denial at this. "Oh, and an Equestria where you are one of the bearers." Tasic indicated Derpy. "Though Derpy Hooves isn't your name there." He then waited for the eight to calm down and/or spout questions, but nopony spoke. "I apologize for the shock I gave you, but I assure you there will be more when you **do** meet them."

"I'll bet.", agreed Chronicle. "I really think we should go to sleep now, although I doubt Twilight's gonna have sweet dreams tonight."

"Sorry about that. I forgot how sensitive she is concerning her Princess."

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nightelf37: And that's it for now.

Chronicle: Did you know that that what you did there is a bug in the game?"

nightelf37: *looks at Gunslinger page on the Team Fortress 2 Wiki* You're right? I didn't realize it sooner.

Chronicle: Uncanny that you used both the Gunslinger and Southern Hospitality, huh?

nightelf37: Yeah. As you probably noticed, I mention the "added maximum health" as "withstanding increased percentage of damage". Also, I don't know if the Chargin' Targe's charge attack counts as melee damage in the game, but I'll assume it does here.

Chronicle: I thought the Hard Counter does not protect from Jarate.

nightelf37: It doesn't. I'll hand wave it as your magic at work.

Chronicle: Gee, thanks.

nightelf37: The actions Rarity makes are based on this video, except for the Pyro crossing the hatch, allowing her to cross it the other way. I don't know if that is possible in-game, and I often try to keep it so aside from the bucking some ponies have done in this chapter.

Chronicle: Really, what's the story plan? The plot as to why we are fighting RED and BLU?

nightelf37: Actually, to tell the truth, this is just as excuse for ponies to fight in ''Team Fortress 2'' without being supported by RED or BLU like in other MLP/TF2 crossovers. Readers, if you got an idea for a plot, please comment.

Chronicle: Who are we meeting, if not the cast of the popular _On a Cross and Arrow_?

nightelf37: That…I will reveal next chapter. See ya on Third!


	16. A Bizarre Encounter

The EqU trailer was en route to Granary, preparing to meet this other team of ponies who are (supposedly) fighting both RED and BLU like they are. They haven't made contact yet, but will shortly once they arrive. Jothicu was on the wheel and Thenam was riding shotgun. As for Tasic, he was conversing with the ponies and Spike.

"If you're planning on trying to get RED and BLU to be friends, don't.", Tasic told Pinkie Pie when she asked him. "That plan's already been tried. In fact, there was once a friendship between two members between the teams."

"Really?"

"You see, the RED Demoman and BLU Soldier were once friends. The best, in fact, though I'm not sure how strong their bond was in comparison to the one many of you share. Then Helen, the Administrator, found out about it while doing a 'background check'. She doesn't really know much about friendships other than what her assistant Miss Pauling said; they do things together and talk. Helen concluded that talk included work, which she couldn't allow, given that she controls both teams, and you can probably imagine what would happen if they find out, right?"

"If they had found out, we would not have been brought here in the first place.", Spike said.

"W-well, that's one way of saying it." Tasic rubbed the back of his head at that. "In any case, she planned to break them up with the use of…healthy competition. In her experience, nothing kills friendships faster than that."

There were appalled gasps from the Equestrians, Pinkie Pie's being the loudest. "This Administrator lady turned friends against each other?!", the pink earth pony cried out.

"Despicable, huh? She takes 'evil bitch' as a compliment, has openly declared she hates them all, and despises friendships across the two teams. And during her yearly hour of vacation, she feeds pigeons in a park, and somehow cause them to wage war against one another." This elicited a gasp and faint from Fluttershy.

"She only takes one hour of vacation?", asked Applejack. "Even I know not to work that hard."

"If only because Helen's job does not involve physical work.", Chronicle snarked.

Tasic cleared his throat, then continued. "Anyway, for the RED Demoman, Miss Pauling came over to his mansion, offering a sword called the Eyelander in exchange for killing his best friend. Remind me to remind Thenam to try and get that for you, Spike."

"What's this Eyelander?", the dragon asked.

"A large bloodstained and battle-worn claymore built by pattern-welded Damascus steel, harmonically balanced, slow-forged for **generations** in the bowels of captured "English kings", and reputed to be haunted by a bloodthirsty, malevolent spirit, which constantly mutters the word 'heads' when held."

"You expect me to ask Thenam to copy a cursed sword?!"

"He can make a copy without the curse. I mean, Applejack's Ironbuckers are based on the Engineer's Gunslinger, a prosthetic, and the Royal Canterlot Hallmark is based on the Buff Banner. Speaking of which, do we have the Chargin' Targe already?"

"Of course we do," answered Pinkie. "How else would that RED simulation Demoman have been able to tackle me last chapter?"

"Oh, right. Wait, what? Last chapter? I think you mean last simulation battle."

"Same thing."

"Just ignore her.", Rarity told Tasic. "We all do that when she doesn't make sense."

"Oh, all right." Tasic regained his composure. "Anyway, two more of the RED Demoman's offers were that shield and the Scottish Resistance. Your Customizer, please, Spike." The dragon did as asked, handing over the little device. Tasic activated it and moved its joystick until it revealed the weapon.

It was similar in appearance to the Stickybomb Launcher, but it also featured warning colors on the magazine and a "sensor camera" taped onto the barrel. The Mann Co. logo was present on the sensor, albeit partially covered in duct tape. There was also a stickybomb shown, which was heavier-looking and had larger, blunted spikes in comparison to the standard.

"The Scottish Resistance, another of the offers to the Demoman. It fires a quarter faster than the standard stickybomb launcher, you have 50 percent more ammunition, you can place up to 14 bombs instead of 8, your bombs can destroy enemy 'stickies', they have slower 'arm time', and you manually detonate them by aiming at them regardless of distance, or if they're at your feet."

"Why would I want to blow up bombs at my feet?", Spike asked. "I know I can probably survive it, but what's the point? Unless…"

"It's for the 'sticky jump', where you plant bombs under your feet, then jump and detonate them, launching yourself to new heights. There are plenty other kind of jumps, though most are health-risky. Like the Sentry rocket jump and bullet jump, which requires a Wrangler to utilize properly, the Pyro rocket jump, where one redirects a rocket with an airblast not back at their owner but at their feet, and a few others too like the Flare jump and an enemy-assisted jump."

"You forgot to mention the Scout's many multiple jumps, the Soldier's rocket jump, and the Medic's Quick-Fix jump.", Twilight Sparkle pointed out.

"That's because Rainbow Dash, Derpy Hooves, and Fluttershy—who fight as those respective classes—are capable of flight by virtue of their pegasus wings, so I deemed pointing those out unnecessary. Now where was I before I got distracted with the many kinds of jumps?"

"The Demoman accepted Miss Pauling's offer, right?", asked Spike.

"Oh, that. He didn't exactly accept it at first, but Miss Pauling did leave the sword, the Chargin' Targe, and the Scottish Resistance to him, and she then said that the BLU Soldier was offered similarly and that he **did** accept."

"I'm sure that was a lie."

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean?", asked Fluttershy, having recovered from her faint.

"It'll be clear shortly. Meanwhile, a messenger in a trench coat was sent to the BLU Soldier's apartment, where he was instructed against the mercenary's 'deadly countermeasures'. The messenger then revealed that behind his trench coat was a television with a direct link to Helen, who then gives the BLU Soldier the option of either being brought to the nearest gravel pit and executed there or to kill his friend in exchange for custom weapons."

"Let me guess; he—", Applejack began.

"No, he was just as loyal to the RED Demoman as he was to him, and was willing to give his life and defy his boss. When told that the RED Demoman was offered similarly and that he accepted, he obviously didn't believe a single word. However, he was then treated to a robotic voice-over of the RED Demoman saying he's a bad friend."

"Did that voice really convince him?", Rainbow Dash asked. "He must be stupider than I thought."

"I guess you could say that. Remember that the Soldier—both BLU and RED—aren't exactly bright or right in the head. However, that wasn't what made him turn against the RED Demoman. The clincher that shattered their bond was the robotic voice saying that the BLU Soldier was a civilian, which was meant to be a secret between the two."

"I guess revealing a secret to another really does make you lose a friend forever.", Chronicle said as he looked at Pinkie.

"Yeah." Pinkie agreed, then made an angry face. "This Administrator lady sounds like a big ol' stinky meanie of a meanie-pants. I don't like her one bit. I don't think I'd ever throw a party for her!"

"I guess you're quite right there. Yes, this Administrator stands against everything we value about friendship. Anyway—" suddenly, the trailer slowed to a stop. "—Oh, we're here."

They had stopped at The RED side of Granary. And they could hear explosions and the like inside.

"Looks like there's a simulation battle going on.", said Thenam. "Remember that the real teams are still in Egypt." He then pushed a few buttons on the dashboard and voices were promptly heard.

"Damn, I'm on fire.", a male voice came. It wasn't from any of the RED and BLU mercenaries, and it was unfamiliar to everyone but Chronicle.

Thenam turned the dial as different voices came. "Hasta la vista! Feliz Navidad! Hasta gazpacho!" A simulation Soldier, although he seemed to be speaking in monotone.

"Fhanks a lah!" A Pyro, but not a simulation one. Derpy seemed to react oddly to the voice.

"Dominated, ya wee two-toned lassie!", a simulation Demoman.

"Ain't that a cute little gun?" A sim-Engineer after a kill with a Combat Mini-Sentry Gun.

A Dispenser blowing up. "Did ze Fräuleins have zeir Mittelschmerz?" A sim-Medic revealed to be the culprit. It was followed with a sniper rifle shot.

"You're just one big headache, and I got a sniper rifle full of aspirin!" A male voice that isn't of the simulations. This time, Pinkie Pie, alongside Chronicle, also seemed to have an idea on who this pony was.

"The enemy has captured the Intelligence!" Not the Administrator as the voice was male.

"You can do it, Mommy!" A filly's voice. Everyone in the room seemed to share the thought _What's a young girl doing here?_

"Was there ever any doubt?" A sim-Spy, revealed to have taken the briefcase.

A backstab shortly after, followed by two voices. "The enemy has dropped the Intelligence." The not-Administrator again.

"I believe that's my line." Another voice.

"I recognize that voice anywhere.", Applejack said.

"Me too.", added Rainbow.

"So do I.", agreed Rarity.

"You prancin' show ponies!" A sim-Sniper in a killing spree.

"I am fully charged!" Another familiar voice.

"Hit it, Lyra." It sounded like one of the many voices Bon Bon spoke in.

"Teleporter coming right up." Yet another familiar voice, and this time everypony knew who it was.

"Was that Cheerilee?", Spike asked.

"It's a good time for all of you to run!" That voice that seemed to call Lyra as the sound of the Minigun blared through the speakers before Thenam changed frequencies.

"Um, I could use a dispenser here." Another familiar voice.

"Ow dow how dow." A sim-Pyro on a killing spree.

"That is not me!" Yet another familiar voice, to Derpy in particular. Apparently, this pony was saying that a Spy has taken her appearance. "Oww!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit ya… No, wait, yeah I did." A sim-Scout stunning somepony with the Sandman's baseball.

Thenam then turned off the speakers. "Well, looks like our friends are still busy practicing like we have. We're gonna have to wait until they're done."

"I recognize a lot of those voices!", Pinkie spoke up in a very fast pace. "I heard your voice behind the mask, Derpy. I also heard Pokey Pierce, little Dinky, that-stage-magician-I-never-got-to-throw-a-party-for, Lyra Heartstrings, Bon Bon, Cheerilee, Golden Harvest, and Raindrops!"

"I warned you well ahead of time that while you think you know them, you don't.", Tasic reminded.

"Oh, right. They're from that other Equestria, right?"

"Right."

"Still, that doesn't guarantee that we'll be able to treat them differently from their counterparts in our Equestria.", Chronicle warned. "Same goes vice-versa."

"True. Well, I'll just go contact them." Thenam pushed a few buttons and then bent down to a small black orb attached to the board Thenam was tinkering with, and spoke through it. "Attention. May I speak with who's in charge?"

A different voice came up. "State your name."

"This is Agent Thenam Kintobor. My leader is Tasic Ancinet, who is in charge of the EQ-Prime team."

"…Thenam?!" The voice seemed excited. "What are you doing here?"

"We were on our way to Granary to claim it from the Mann brothers. I had no idea you would be here, Tony. But I'm glad you are." It was a fib, and Applejack was about to point it out, but Tasic shushed her.

"Why is that so?"

"You see, I was hoping if our team could meet yours."

"I don't think that's a good idea. While…she may be one of the good guys in EQ-Prime, in Luna-EQ, she's one of the villains."

"Umm…about that…" Thenam then leaned in closer to whisper something. No one else was able to hear it. He then pulled away.

"What?! Timmy's in the fight, too?!" It was evident that the voice, Tony, wasn't happy about this. A sigh was then heard. "Guess it can't be helped. Crais is in the fight as well." Chronicle seemed to react to this, but no one else noticed. "Sparkler was supposed to be the Scout, but I guess it can't be helped either. Now that I think about it, the dynamic's pretty good. All the offense classes are covered by the pegasi, the defense classes by the earth ponies, and the suppot classes by the unicorns."

"Umm, we're getting off track, Tony. Is it okay for our team to meet the one you and Joey are taking care of?"

"Hmm…I'm not sure our superiors will approve of this. Not without the use of Mem-Edit."

"That thing? You know how difficult it is to operate that."

"Yes, but it has to be done. It's supposed to be done anyway. Hold on. Who's listening in?"

"Me, Tasic, Timmy, and…pretty much the entire team."

"Could you usher everyone else out?", requested Tony. "This conversation is for Story Crew members only."

Thenam turned to the ponies and Spike. "Umm..."

"We understand.", Pinkie said as she ushered everyone else outside the trailer (luckily, there was no one else for miles who could see them), leaving Tasic, Thenam, Jothicu, and Chronicle.

"Hold on a second.", Twilight said as she turned around to face her bodyguard. "Who's Timmy?"

"That would be me. My real name's Timmy Timer, but you can still call me Chronicle if you want; it's a better name for a pony."

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Later…

The simulation battle Tony's team was soon concluded and they were roaming around the entirety of Granary now. However, they had no idea that some other ponies (and one who wasn't) were doing the same thing.

Derpy was trotting up the ramp in the RED-side garage while wearing her Soldier gear. She had no idea why she was wearing it right now, when she saw somepony she didn't think she'd see here. It was a certain unicorn filly she knew very well. This filly had a pale purple coat. She had yellow eyes and hair. It was her daughter, didn't seem to be harmed in any way.

"Dinky!", she cried out as she flew straight to her and gave her an embrace.

However, Dinky seemed to be too surprised to return it. "Mom?", she asked. "I thought you were with Blue Diary. And why are you wearing a Soldier uniform?"

Derpy was confused at her daughter's statement. "Blue Diary? Who's that?"

It was then that a pony Pyro came over. However, it wasn't Pinkie Pie, but someone who shared Derpy's hair color and coat color. And when this Pyro took off her mask, it showed that even their eyes were the same, right down to their eye condition strabismus.

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Elsewhere…

Chronicle was strolling up the left BLU ramp that led to the staircase to the chute, wearing his Heavy uniform. (A/N: Those who know the map Granary would be able to identify this section.)

"Hmm…if who I heard there is who I think it is…", he muttered to himself before he heard something behind him. He turned around and saw a white pegasus pony wearing a Scout uniform.

While the muzzle would make one think it's a mare, like Chronicle, it's actually a stallion. His eyes were blue, his mane was mildly frazzled and colored in navy blue and purple, his tail had the same color and was short like Chronicle's, he had black hooves, and he shared the same orange-circle-with-open-book cutie mark.

This pegasus, instead of walking towards Chronicle, flew to him. He found this odd, since even Rainbow Dash would (probably) walk in this enclosed space when not in a hurry. The pegasus then landed just in front of Chronicle…and then the two began to embrace each other.

"It's wonderful to see you again, Blue Diary!", the blue unicorn cried out in joy, happy to see him. Like Chronicle, Blue Diary was from another world, the same world where Chronicle and the other Story Crew members were from. He was assigned to a different Equestria—dubbed 'Luna Equestria'—on the same mission. Also, the two of them were brothers, Chronicle being the older one by one year.

"Likewise, Chronicle.", replied the white pegasus, giving only a faint smile, but just as happy. They then broke off from each other. "Would you mind telling me what you're doing here wearing a Heavy's uniform? It was supposed to be Big Macintosh."

"Perhaps it's a good thing. Or at least Zecora not being here, given what she is in your world."

"You don't have to remind me." In the Equestria Blue Diary was assigned to, Zecora was one of the bad guys, a minion of Corona, the Tyrant Sun, who Princess Celestia would have been if she were the one to turn evil instead of Princess Luna. "By the way, what's your Spike's class? Soldier?"

"No. That position has fallen unto Derpy Hooves. Spike's our team's Demoman."

"Oh dear. I hope he isn't in too much trouble if he encounters my friends. And I do wonder what will happen if Derpy and Ditzy meet one another."

"Yeah." Just then, they heard plenty of voices. All of them were familiar to both. "Uh oh."

"Looks like our friends have met one another.", groaned Blue. "And it sounds like communications are…" There were shouts heard, many of them angry ones. "…tense."

"Well, given how different their worlds' counterparts are, it's bound to be surprising, even if they were given a warning."

Blue raised his eyebrows. "You already told them about us?"

"Only the basics.", Chronicle explained. "And we all heard your voices through Thenam's computer when you guys were doing a simulation battle. The real team's at Egypt."

Just then, explosions and bullets could be heard. "Shouldn't we go and stop our teams from killing each other?"

"We got Respawn."

"That's not the point, and you know it.", grumbled Blue. "Unless you brought them here specifically so our teams would fight each other. That's not the pony way, is it?"

"…Right." Immediately, the two jumped down the nearby chute—where Chronicle crashed on top of three ponies.

"Oww!" One female voice.

"Get off!" Another female voice.

"This is not my idea of somepony dropping in unannounced." One male voice. The two females groaned at what was apparently a pun.

Immediately, the blue unicorn got off of his victims as Blue Diary hovered above them, then widened his eyes at what he saw. He had landed on Bon Bon, Lyra Heartstrings, and Pokey Pierce, who were dressed up as a Heavy, Medic, and Sniper respectively. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay.", said Lyra.

"Well it's not for me.", said Bon Bon.

"Could we save this for later, guys?", Blue cut in. "My brother and I got a fight to cool down."

"You have a brother?"

"Again, later, now let's move." At once, the five ponies made their way to the BLU-side middle garage, went up the ramps leading to the catwalks, and took in the carnage that was going on.

Carrot Top, as a Demo…mare, was laying stickies on Applejack's Dispenser, its owner currently fighting off Carrot's teammates. Spike was on the run from a very persistent Raindrops dressed as a Soldier, who was also holding off Rainbow Dash. There was a Sapper on Applejack's Sentry Gun, and a dark shimmer can be seen lying in wait. These were only small pieces of the general mayhem ensuing amongst the crates in Granary. For some unexplainable miracle, nopony has been 'sent away' yet.

And Chronicle wasn't about to let it begin. He primed his Minigun, and aimed it upwards, ready to fire. Just before the first bullet could leave the barrel, the Minigun was also covered in a golden aura. The result was a deafening hail of gunfire that startled everybody in Granary, including Tasic and company, who were in their trailer just outside.

At once, Chronicle stopped his Minigun, his ears ringing. The 'cards' the ponies wear to change into their 'mercenary' gear also silence the weapons everyone uses in the "war games" to a degree while keeping other sounds at normal volume. As for the REDs and BLUs, the sounds of their weapons aren't deafening to them; pony (and baby dragon) ears are apparently more sensitive.

"Give a warning next time, would you?", Bon Bon said to Lyra.

"Sorry."

"Everypony listen up!", Blue Diary called out to the others that were fighting. Those who would've been attacked by the Sentry Guns moved away from them.

"Was that a sound-amplifying spell?", Chronicle shouted, his hearing still dim from the Minigun.

"Yeah.", said Lyra. "You know the spell?"

"Nah. Wouldn't take an idiot to guess that." He turned to Blue Diary, whom he knew to be quite charismatic. Not enough to charm others as he wasn't as social as Chronicle was, but he knew how to get others to listen to him. Eventually, everypony has calmed down, the buildings being hauled away somewhere else. At around the same time, Derpy, her lookalike, Dinky, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy entered the scene.

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Later…

Matters were cleared up as Tony and another human came over and gathered with all the ponies (and dragon) in the center surrounded by crates. Each side was separated, the EqU team at the RED side, the other team—abbreviated LUNA—at the BLU side. Tasic, Jothicu, and Thenam were there as well. Dinky was there too, standing next to the Pyro that looked like Derpy. Everybody stood in a circle around the Control Point.

After Chronicle introduced his teammates, Blue Diary introduced his, which was called "Luna's U████████ Nocturnal Alliance", abbreviated as LUNA. He admitted it wasn't very original, but set the issue aside. He knew that the EqU members know them (save for himself) by name, but he decided to introduce his team regardless.

"For starters, my name is Blue Diary. I'm the team's Scout." He then indicated his teammates. "Raindrops is the Soldier. Ditzy Doo is the Pyro."

"Some ponies also call me by that name.", Derpy, the EqU Soldier, interrupted, then stopped herself in apology.

Blue ignored this interruption. "Carrot Top is the Demomare, BonBon is the Heavy—without a space, should you write it down—Cheerilee is the Engineer, Lyra Heartstrings is the Medic, Pokey Pierce is the Sniper, and Trixie Lulamoon—"

"Just Trixie.", said mare cut in sternly.

"—is the Spy, not to mention unofficial leader of this team," _As Twilight Sparkle is to yours._ "Although the planners are usually me and Cheerilee."

Blue then hovered over to the two humans accompanying LUNA. One of them wore white coveralls, a hard hat, a pair of welding gloves…he dressed like the Engineer and was also just as short. His hair was dusty and red. Blue introduced him as Tony, the guy who Thenam talked with before EqU entered Granary to meet up with LUNA, and the guy in charge of the technology, just like Thenam.

The second was wearing the Medic uniform, looked near effeminate, was as tall as Jothicu, and his eyes were brown. This was Joey, who was working alongside Tony, and whose purpose in the team is like Jothicu's. And as Pinkie Pie noticed, they all had "Chronicle's cutie mark" on their clothes.

It was then that everypony took notice of the other team's uniforms. Unlike the EqU team, whose uniforms are of varying colors, the uniforms of the LUNA team had a general dark-blue scheme, as dark as the coat of the Princess the team was named for. For the Trixie's Spy uniform, it was almost black as the night sky (although it was still daytime).

"Mind if I ask if you're fighting RED and BLU like we are? And why haven't we acknowledged you until now?", Tasic asked Tony.

Joey answered for him, "The reason why is because we were better in keeping our operation under, not to mention Trixie's paranoia about all this being a ploy of someone in the Night Court to gain control of the Elements of Harmony. We had to constantly shut down those theories and it proved so aggravating we didn't have as much practice. Conversely, this lessened the possibility of them finding us. As for the first question, yes, we are fighting RED and BLU just like you are."

"Why didn't we see traces of you until now?", asked Thenam. "When we checked out Teufort, we saw that their Alarm-O-Tron 5000 only had these new alerts; IS BEST CLASS, GONE INSANE, IS CRYING, and new class alerts named under EqU. No LUNA or anything like that."

"Maybe they treat all ponies and those with them as EqU.", guessed Joey, turning his eyes on Spike, the only dragon around.

"Wouldn't put it past them to do that. The clones our 'Copyspawn system' makes look a bit like you guys too, but not in the respective classes."

Blue then looked up to the sky, then said. "Hmm…it's almost noon. Time for our siesta." The LUNA ponies looked up as well, then murmured in agreement. The EqU ponies (and Spike), sans Chronicle, seemed to be confused. Blue turned to EqU and apologized, "Sorry, but in our Equestria, we all take nap at noon. It's because, and this may be a sensitive subject for Twilight, the bad influence of Corona the Tyrant Sun gave everypony an…averseness to the sun.

"And while Corona's no longer imprisoned, nor is this sun anything like Equestria's, a thousand years is still a long time." Raindrops gave a long yawn. "And besides, didn't we just tire ourselves out from all this fighting?"

"It's a miracle we didn't even use Respawn.", commented Tony. "And both teams had only Dispensers as healing sources since both Medics were not in the fight. Not to mention our Pyros and Heavies. Now how did that happen?"

"Best to be grateful regardless. I'm sure we can talk again later." Blue turned to his teammates. "And I'm sure—"

He was cut off by the sound of an airplane flying by. Everyone looked up to see it, and there were reactions of curiosity and fear from the ponies. There was also a twitchy tail from Pinkie, which the LUNA ponies were confused at. They could then see a speck in the sky slowly growing larger. They then realized it was about to land right here. And Twilight reminded herself that the Pinkie Sense can never be doubted.

"**BRAVE JUMP!**", they heard a voice from above, most likely the speck.

"Everybody out of the way!", Blue Diary yelled and everyone did as he said.

Seconds later, something crashed onto the central Control Point, kicking up a lot of dust in the process, even though the place didn't even have dust to begin with. After everyone had their fair share of coughing, they took a look at the crouched silhouetted figure in the middle of the now dissipating dust cloud.

The figure then stood up, spread his arms wide, then made a powerful clap, which quickly dissipated the dust, and allowed everybody to take a good look at him.

The man had rippling muscles, a bushy mustache, a crocodile-tooth lined hat, and a patch of rotating chest hair "shaped like Australia", as the humans in both teams would say. He wore nothing else but short denim shorts, a black leather belt, and brown hiking boots (without socks).

"Oh my god.", gasped Thenam.

"By Jove…" Jothicu.

"Dear Luna." Trixie.

"Sweet Celestia." Twilight.

"Mother of Grudd…" Thenam.

"By Corona's mane…" Blue Diary.

"For the love of Discord." Chronicle.

"Jiminy H. Cricket!" Joey.

"We're screwed." Tony.

"It's…it's…!", Tasic stuttered.

"**The name's Saxton Hale! Australian, C.E.O. of MANN Co. and the man who's gonna burn this place to the ground!**"

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nightelf37: And that's it for now.

Chronicle: You decided to end with a cliffhanger? First time. Aside from the end of Chapter one in SC:FiM.

nightelf37: Yeah. Didn't know how to end the meet-up, so I decided to go with a dynamic entry.

Chronicle: Why did you skip straight to the fight between LUNA and EqU?

nightelf37: Because I don't know the Lunaverse characters well enough, let alone got enough puns for Pokey Pierce. Maybe I'll change it once "Crisis on Two Equestrias" comes up. By the way, the Lunaverse belongs to RainbowDoubleDash, now shared with Emeral Bookwise, Fizzy Orange, RK_Striker_JK_5, Blackbelt, GrassAndClouds2, and more. Check out their group in FIMFiction . Net.

Chronicle: Was Pokey's line from when he sniped that sim-Medic a line from the machinima series _Red Versus Blue_?

nightelf37: Yes, except replace "whole pistol" with "sniper rifle". Needed an incredibly lame pun and personally, nothing's lamer than this.

Chronicle: Does aspirin even exist in Equestria?

nightelf37: Who knows?

Chronicle: You know nobody knows who Blue Diary is, right?

nightelf37: Well, he's "introduced" in the Dragonshy chapter of SC:FiM.

Chronicle: Okay. What's your reason of putting in the Lunaverse characters anyway?

nightelf37: I got 3 reasons, many of them measly. One, there was that Spy's line, although I don't know if Luna!Trixie shares that line. Two, I didn't feel like using the OaC&A characters, as they're basically male versions of the canon characters as far as I'm concerned. Three, the next chapter's gonna involve a fight with Saxton Hale, and having just nine won't do, now would it?

Chronicle: I guess not. I think a Saxton Hale fight would be interesting.

nightelf37: I didn't even think this would elicit interest as I didn't explain how we got here in the first place.

Chronicle: But doing a second instance may peeve readers.

nightelf37: See ya on Third! *runs*

Chronicle: *follows* Hey! We're not done yet!

nightelf37: And I apologize if my interpretation of the Lunaverse characters is inaccurate, Blue Diary aside!

Chronicle: Come back here!


	17. Just For Fun, Too

I know this isn't the Saxton Hale chapter, but it'll be coming shortly. Promise.

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**Taunts**

**Rainbow Dash (Scout)**

Primary

Shotguns: Rainbow makes a loop-thee-loop.  
Shortstop: Rainbow flies a quick circle in place.

Secondary

Bonk! Atomic Punch or Crit-a-Cola: The mechanical arm on Rainbow's back pops open the can and she takes a quick gulp, wiping her face afterward with a hoof.  
Mad Milk: Same as above, except Rainbow stops short before drinking the milk.  
All others: Rainbow flies a quick circle in place.

Melee

Sandman or Atomizer: Rainbow performs the Scout's Home Run taunt, but holding the bat with her mechanical arm. "Home run!"  
All others: Mid-air, Rainbow spreads her foreleg and makes a quick downward motion while her mechanical arm twirls her weapon safely over her head and saying one of the Scout's lines except for "Bonk!"

Director's Vision

Rainbow hovers a bit as she attempts to form a camera lens with her hooves and mechanical arm.

Schadenfreude

Rainbow falls over laughing, just like in "Friendship is Magic, Part 1", then gets up shortly after.

High Five!

Initiate: Rainbow raises a hoof if in the air. If on the ground, she raises a wing.  
Perform: (in flight with a pegasus pony) Rainbow and the other pegasus pass each other and trade a high five with their wings.  
(with Spike) If on the ground, Rainbow does the same as above. If higher, she does as below.  
(with others or while a pegasus pony is on the ground) Rainbow and the other pony hoof-bump one another.  
(with RED or BLU) Rainbow flies up to the human's level before slapping hoof and hand, the latter recoiling and wincing right after OR slapping wing and hand as they pass each other by.  
After: (if High Five! was not done by wing) Rainbow makes a friendly informal salute.  
(if High Five! was done by wing) The two bump hooves (or hoof and fist in the case of Spike or a human) right after.

**Derpy Hooves (Soldier)**

Primary

All weapons: Derpy salutes with a goofy face.

Secondary

Guns: Derpy flips her weapon and tries to catch it with her hooves, only to slip and drop it. She then picks it up and makes a sheepish smile.  
Flags and Horns: Derpy toots her instrument to the tune of "Ride of the Valkyries".

Melee

Half-Zatoichi: Derpy salutes with a goofy face.  
Pickaxes: Derpy performs the Soldier's Kamikaze taunt by throwing her weapon over her head, which damages anybody behind her, taking a grenade off of her belt, setting it, and raising it in the air with a goofy grin before disappearing in a flash of light (sent away), leaving the grenade to gib nearby enemies and destroy nearby buildings. If she has the Rocket Jumper equipped (even though she has no need for it), she will be teleported upwards.  
All others: Derpy screams in one of three different ways and bangs her helmet with her weapon.

Director's Vision

Derpy hovers a bit as she attempts to form a camera lens with her hooves and mechanical arm.

Schadenfreude

Derpy slouches forward, breathless with laughter. After righting herself, she continues to laugh for a few more moments.

High Five!

Initiate: Derpy raises a hoof if in the air. If on the ground, she raises a wing.  
Perform: (in flight with a pegasus pony) Derpy and the other pegasus pass each other and trade a high five with their wings.  
(with Spike) If on the ground, Derpy does the same as above. If higher, she does as below.  
(with others or while a pegasus pony is on the ground) Derpy and the other pony hoof-bump one another.  
(with RED or BLU) Derpy flies up to the human's level before conking his hand with her head, making him recoil and wince right after OR barely missing slapping wing and hand as they pass each other by.  
After: (if High Five! was not done by wing) Derpy makes a friendly informal salute.  
(if High Five! was done by wing) The two bump hooves (or hoof and fist in the case of Spike) right after.  
(if High Five! was done by wing with a RED or BLU) Derpy turns around with a sheepish smile before repeating the High Five!, after which she cries out "Muffins!".

**Pinkie Pie (Pyro)**

Primary

Rainblower: Pinkie will perform the Pyro's Armageddon taunt.  
All others: Pinkie thrusts her weapon in the air while whooping, giggling, or doing any sort of funny laughter noise.

Secondary

Scorch Shot: Pinkie will perform the Pyro's Execution taunt.  
All others: Pinkie will perform the Pyro's Hadouken taunt.

Melee

Lollichop: Pinkie will perform the Party Cannon taunt: Within 5 seconds, she pulls something behind herself, pulls the cannon into view out of nowhere, loads the Lollichop (or Fire Axe to those outside Pyroland), then pushes the fuse, throwing off "silly gibs" in birthday mode which inflict Fire Axe damage for each gib, proving lethal at close range.  
All others: Pinkie will play air guitar on her weapon, somehow making actual guitar sounds. The Third Degree will play heavy metal guitar noises, while the Neon Annihilator will play rumbling bass guitar noises.

Director's Vision

Pinkie forms a camera lens with her hooves like she did in "Griffon The Brush-Off" and mechanical arm.

Schadenfreude

Pinkie rolls over to her back and giggles, then gets back up immediately after.

High Five!

Initiate: Pinkie raises a hoof and calls out "Hoof-bump!"  
Perform: (with a pony) Pinkie and the other pony hoof-bump each other.  
(with Spike) Pinkie bumps hoof-to-fist with Spike.  
(with RED or BLU) Pinkie jumps to the human's level and slaps his hand with her hoof, making him recoil and wince right after.  
After: Pinkie sits on her rump and claps with her hooves before getting up.

**Spike (Demoman)**

Primary

All weapons: Spike does a pelvic thrust and shouts "KA-BOOM!"

Secondary

All weapons: Spike winks and does a thumbs-up.

Melee

Gem-On-A-Stick: Spike licks the stone on his weapon a few times, enjoying the taste.  
Bottles: Spike takes a swig of the drink, retches in disgust, then makes to throw up before belching a breath of fire that inflicts harmless afterburn to any enemy in his way.  
Hero's Lance(*): Spike performs the Javelin taunt. He hurls the lance into the air for him to hold it over his shoulder in spite of its weight, then hurls it towards an enemy, impaling them in the chest and earning power before magically returning to his hand.  
All others: Spike tosses the weapon into the air, catches it, shows it to his opponent, then uses it to whack the area in front of him. He says, "I may be a baby dragon, but I'm still a dragon!"

Director's Vision

Spike leans back a little and puts his arms out and forms a square with his claws, as though his hands were a camera lens.

Schadenfreude

Spike puts his claws close to his face as he gives a wide grin before bawling in laughter.

High Five!

Initiate: Spike raises a hand.  
Perform: (with a pony) Spike bumps his closed hand with their hoof.  
(with a clone) Spike gives a high five to his copy.  
(with a RED or BLU) Spike jumps and slaps hands with the human OR the human performs an underhand slap for him to reach.  
After: Spike makes a V-sign with his claws.

**Chronicle (Heavy)**

Primary

All weapons: Chronicle produces a white glove out of a rift in space and makes it give a "bring it on" gesture.

Secondary

Shotguns: Chronicle twirls his weapon with his magic before resting it on his back, then gives a confident smirk.  
Food items: Chronicle takes a big bite out of his food, chewing loudly with his mouth closed. After consumption, he will say "I feel good!"

Melee

Frying Pan and Saxxy: Chronicle swings the weapon around in a bored fashion.  
All others: Chronicle performs the Silent Shuriken taunt. He closes his eyes and focuses for a second as his horn glows, sheathing his "magic horn blade". Then his eyes go wide open and an invisible shuriken visible only by a shimmer flies forward and instantly kills any enemy in its way. The shuriken flies slower than the Heavy's Showdown "bullet" and travels farther until it hits something.

Director's Vision

Chronicle mimics a camera lens with his white glove and a small panel barrier.

Schadenfreude

Chronicle gives a hearty laugh while stomping one hoof on the ground.

High Five!

Initiate: Chronicle 'raises' his white glove.  
Perform: (with a pony) Chronicle hoof-bumps the other pony.  
(with a pegasus pony or) Chronicle uses his white glove to slap the other pony's wing.  
(with Spike or RED or BLU) Chronicle uses his white glove to slap the other individual's hand.  
After: Chronicle says, "That's the way!"

**Applejack (Engineer)**

Primary

While wearing a hat that's not a helmet: Applejack takes off her hat, hosts it up into the air, then catches it with her head.  
Otherwise: Applejack tries to perform the pony version of the Engineer's hoedown.

Secondary

_The Rodeo Wrangler_(*): Applejack performs the Rodeo taunt. She takes out the lasso, twirls it for two seconds, hurls its loop at an enemy, pulls them in fast, then deliver a strong buck, instantly killing them.  
While wearing a hat that's not a helmet: Applejack holds the rim of her hat as she lowers her head, then pulls to turn it in a different angle.  
Otherwise: Applejack takes out a lasso and twirls it around herself at floor level with her tail, hoisting the loop clear of the floor and working it forward and backward for a few seconds.

Melee

While wearing the _Ironbuckers_: Applejack performs the Engineer's Organ Grinder taunt using the mechanical arm on her back.  
Eureka Effect: Applejack passes the wrench from the attachment on her foreleg to the mech-arm that holds her guns, raises it into the air and lightning comes from it, teleporting her to spawn with full ammo and health.  
Otherwise: Applejack looks curiously at her weapon for a couple of seconds, as if wondering whacking stuff with it makes them work.

Director's Vision

Applejack forms a camera lens with her hooves like Pinkie Pie did in "Griffon The Brush-Off" and mechanical arm.

Schadenfreude

Applejack gives a long chuckle, then gives off a sigh of relief.

High Five!

Initiate: Applejack raises a hoof.  
Perform: (with a pony) Applejack and the other pony hoof-bump each other.  
(with Spike) Applejack bumps hoof-to-fist with Spike.  
(with RED or BLU) Applejack raises a hoof and the human does an underhanded slap to it, then recoils and winces right after.  
After: Applejack yells, "All right!" while turning her hat around.

**Fluttershy (Medic)**

Primary

All weapons: Fluttershy looks around, then yelps at the sight of one certain player or object and ducks to the ground. If she is in the air, she hides her face with her weapon instead.

Secondary

Medi Gun and Quick-Fix: Fluttershy looks around, then cringes at the sight of one certain player or object, calming down after a few seconds and sighing in relief if the spotted player (or Building) is friendly (or a disguised Spy).  
Kritzkrieg: Fluttershy performs the Medic's Oktoberfest taunt, but doesn't say anything save for a sigh of relief.

Melee

Saws or Conscientious Objector: Fluttershy takes out a violin bow and plays her weapon as though it were a violin, playing the first ten notes of the "My Little Pony" opening.  
Amputator: Fluttershy performs the Medic's Medicating Melody taunt.  
Saxxy or Solemn Vow: Fluttershy looks at the weapon's face curiously as she cradles it for a few seconds.

Director's Vision

Fluttershy hovers a bit as she attempts to mimic a camera lens with her hooves and mechanical arm.

Meet The Medic

Fluttershy takes on a resolute pose similar to the one in "Putting Your Hoof Down" when she swears by Celestia. Instead of doves, butterflies similar to the one in her cutie mark emerge.

Schadenfreude

Fluttershy spontaneously breaks into her mad laugh in "The Best Night Ever", accompanied by dramatic thunder and scaring nearby players. She immediately catches herself after a few seconds, removing the stun effect her Schadenfreude makes, and then blushes in apology.

High Five!

Initiate: Fluttershy raises a hoof if in the air. If on the ground, she raises a wing.  
Perform: (in flight with a pegasus pony) Fluttershy and the other pegasus pass each other and trade a high five with their wings.  
(with Spike) If on the ground, Fluttershy does the same as above. If higher, she does as below.  
(with others or while a pegasus pony is on the ground) Fluttershy and the other pony hoof-bump one another.  
(with RED or BLU) Fluttershy flies up to the human's level before gently bumping hoof and hand OR slapping wing and hand as they pass each other by.  
After: (if High Five! was not done by wing) Fluttershy makes a cute "squee" sound and smile.  
(if High Five! was done by wing) The two bump hooves (or hoof and fist in the case of Spike or a human) right after, then Fluttershy makes a cute "squee" sound and smile.

**Twilight Sparkle (Sniper)**

Primary

Sniper rifles: Twilight 'twirls' her rifle three times.  
Huntsman: Twilight performs the Sniper's Skewer taunt.

Secondary

All weapons: Twilight rears up so she can clap with her front hooves while yelling, "All right!"

Melee

All weapons: Twilight takes off her hat, 'holds' it in front of herself, and mumbles "Be polite, be efficient." before putting her hat back on.

Director's Vision

Twilight mimics a camera lens by creating a screen out of her magic.

Schadenfreude

Twilight gives a laugh like she doesn't believe something she just heard or finds it ridiculous.

High Five!

Initiate: Twilight raises a hoof.  
Perform: (with a pony) Twilight and the other pony hoof-bump each other.  
(with Spike) Twilight bumps hoof-to-fist with Spike.  
(with RED or BLU) Twilight raises a hoof and the human does an underhanded slap to it, then recoils and winces right after.  
After: Twilight beams for two seconds.

**Rarity (Spy)**

Primary

All weapons: While fixing up her suit, Rarity 'takes out' a hairbrush and fixes her mane with it.

Melee

Saxxy and knives: Rarity performs the Spy's Fencing taunt.  
Spy-cicle: While fixing up her suit, Rarity 'takes out' a hairbrush and fixes her mane with it.

PDA

Rarity admires herself in the mirror replacing the cigarettes, then frowns before adjusting her hair with her magic.

Director's Vision

Rarity mimics a camera lens with the Disguise kit and knife, and Dead Ringer if it's equipped.

Schadenfreude

Rarity does a noblewoman's laugh for a couple of seconds.

High Five!

Initiate: Rarity raises a hoof.  
Perform: (with a pony) Rarity and the other pony hoof-bump each other.  
(with Spike) Rarity bumps hoof-to-fist with Spike.  
(with RED or BLU) Rarity raises a hoof and the human does an underhanded slap to it.  
After: Rarity flips her mane.

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**Clone Colors**

As stated in the chapter "A Night Out", EqU has clones just like RED and BLU. However, so as not to confuse between friends (and to be a painful effort in the Spy's disguising), they are colored differently from their original counterparts. They are controlled by Thenam's Artificial Intelligence. I will name them as follows:

'Bot' name - Pony the color scheme is based on

Links will be provided for shout-outs.

**Rainbow Dash (Scout)**

1. Derringer - Daring Do (brownish-gold coat, grayscale hair)  
2. Flash - Firefly (G1) (magenta coat, electric blue hair)  
3. Totally Not A Chicken - Scootaloo (orange coat, pinkish purple)  
4. Pound 4 Pound - Pound Cake (light goldish-gray coat, brown hair)  
5. Thunder - Lightning Bolt (white coat, light cerulean hair)  
6. Sorcerer 1 - Rainbowshine (wisteria coat, pink lace-and-baby pink hair)  
7. G - Gilda (brown coat, white hair)

**Derpy Hooves (Soldier)**

1. Falling On Your Head - Raindrops (jasmine coat, light cyan hair)  
2. My Little Muffin - Dinky (pale purple coat, yellow hair)  
3. Jar of Peanut Butter - Amethyst Star (pink coat, two-tone purple hair)  
4. Empty Fridge - Golden Harvest (olive coat, orange hair)  
5. Sunny - Cloud Kicker (lavender coat, orchid hair)  
6. Somepony - Dizzy Twister (pale amber coat, pink-and-pale raspberry hair)  
7. It's Raining Mares! - Parasol (light yellow coat, orchidish gray hair)

**Pinkie Pie (Pyro)**

1. Ambush - Surprise (G1) (white coat, light yellow hair)

2. Not Your Sister - Inkie Pie/Octavia (gray goat, dark gray hair)

3. Aniki Akabei - Blinkie Pie (grayish-purple coat, gray hair)

4. Not Too Old For Free Candy - Bon Bon (pale cream coat, navy hair with pink highlights)

5. The Horror! - Lily (fuchsia-colored coat, creamy blonde hair)

6. Needs to Talk With You - Daisy (Flower Wishes) (gala pink coat, light green hair)

7. HaPP!Y! - Berry Punch (light plum coat, mullberry-colored hair)

**Spike (Demoman)**

1. Steve - Steven Magnet (purple scales, orange spines)  
2. Where There's Smoke - "Basil" (from Dragonshy) (crimson scales, light amaranth spines)  
3. R Mantle - "Reginald" (from Owl's Well That Ends Well) (dark aquamarine scales, dark chartreuse spines)  
4. Best Dragon - Crackle (sea green scales, pistachio-colored spines)  
5. Original Generation - G1 Spike  
6. Substitute Scout - Rainbow Dash (cyan scales, polychromatic spines)  
7. Dearly Beloved - Rarity (white scales, purple spines)  
8. What Could Have Been - Zecora (light gray scales, white-and-dark-gray spines)

**Chronicle (Heavy)**

1. Read Me If You Dare - Blue Diary (from last chapter) (white coat, dark blue-and-purple hair)  
2. Stone Wall - Rock (grayish brown coat, dark amber hair)  
3. Master Shield - Mystic Shield (purple coat, two-tone dark blue hair)  
4. Allons-y! - Doctor Whooves/Time Turner (beige coat, drab brown hair)  
5. Brush Yo Teeth! - Minuette (light blue coat, white-and-dark blue hair)  
6. Rose Tyler - Rose(luck) (cream-colored coat, burgundy-and-pink hair)  
7. Burst Your Bubble - Pokey Pierce (slate blue coat, white hair with light blue patches)  
8. Past Sins - Nyx (black coat, purple hair)

**Applejack (Engineer)**

1. Mac - Big Macintosh (red coat, orange hair)  
2. Annie Smith - Granny Smith (lime green coat, gray hair)  
3. A-Bloom - Apple Bloom (yellow coat, red hair)  
4. The Appleloosan - Braeburn (yellow coat, orange hair)  
5. One Little Cherry - Cherry Berry (hot pink coat, brilliant gold hair)  
6. Has No Life - Cheerilee (cherry-colored coat, pink-and-cherry hair)  
7. Nonpareil - Flim Flam brothers (pale olive coat, red-and-white hair)

**Fluttershy (Medic)**

1. Nurse Joy - Nurse Redheart (white coat, pink hair)  
2. Kid - Medley (arctic blue coat, dark teal hair)  
3. Colts Over Flowers - Merry May (chartreuse coat, dark pink hair)  
4. Sassaflash - Wind Whistler/Sassaflash (pale turquoise coat, vanilla-colored hair)  
5. Too Flexible - Blossomforth (dim white coat, green hair with pink streaks)  
6. Extra Carrots - Shoeshine (cyan coat, white mane)  
7. Dr. Carmael - Doctor Stable (beige coat, dark brown hair)

**Twilight Sparkle (Sniper)**

1. Rapidash - her (memetic) rage form as seen in "Feeling Pinkie Keen" (orange-white coat, fire-toned hair)  
2. Velveteen Pony - Twilight Velvet (light gray coat, light purple hair with white streaks)  
3. Dear Pumpkin - Pumpkin Cake (light yellow coat, light brilliant orange hair)  
4. Want Hands Need Hands - Lyra Heartstrings (turquoise coat, grayish cyan hair with white highlights)  
5. Nopony - Dewdrop Dazzle (teal coat, light cerise hair with yellow highlights)  
6. Crescent Sparx - Night Light (blue coat, slate blue hair)  
7. Great and Powerful - Trixie (bright blue coat, two-toned lighter blue hair)  
8. Raisin The Sun - Princess Celestia (pinkish white coat, cyan-turquiose-azure-and-purple hair)

**Rarity (Spy)**

1. Diamonds are 4Ever - Sparkler (cornflower blue coat, persian blue hair with moderate rose highlights)  
2. I Burnt Juice - Sweetie Belle (pinkish-white coat, light purple-and-pink hair)  
3. Herbal Remedy - Aloe (pink coat, light blue hair)  
4. Yin Follower - Lotus (light blue coat, pink hair)  
5. What Life Gives You - Lemon Hearts (yellow coat, cyan hair)  
6. Little Star - Twinkleshine (white coat, pink hair)  
7. Wub Wub Stab - Vinyl Scratch (white coat, two-tone electric blue hair)

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**Nightmare Night Costumes**

While it may be Halloween in Mann's Land, it would be Nightmare Night in Equestria. While it may be nice to use the costumes some of the charcters used in "Luna Eclipsed", some of them just don't go well with their mercenary gear, so I decided to put up some new ones (for most anyway). Descriptions are placed so that they can in theory be applied to the REDs and BLUs as well, save for one. And if there are any suggestions for names, that would be great. I don't know too much on how to name their non-weapon equipment.

**Rainbow Dash (Scout)**

Set Name - Adventurer Archaeologist

Hat: Traveler's Fedora - a brown, tall-crowned, wide-brimmed sable fedora similar to that of one certain famous archaeologist.  
Misc Item 1: Archaeologist's Jacket - a brown leather "A-2 bomber" jacket worn over the Scout's shirt.  
Misc Item 2: Utility Bullwhip - an 8-foot bullwhip coiled around a belt-loop in the Scout's pants. For Rainbow Dash, a belt is wrapped around her flank and the whip is coiled there.

**Derpy Hooves (Soldier)**

Set Name - The Blue Box  
Hat: - The top part of a blue post box resized to fit the Soldier's head, its slot big enough for the eyes to see through.  
Misc Item 1: - Armor plating that looks like they were haphazardly assembled from a blue post box to fit the Soldier's body.  
Misc Item 2: - Leggings shaped like British red pillar boxes around the Soldier's legs.

**Pinkie Pie (Pyro)**

Set Name - Radioactive Safety

Hat: HazMat Headcase  
Misc Item 1: HazMat Suit - A version of the Pyro's suit that replaces all the black with yellow.  
Misc Item 2: None (Hey, not all costumes need more than one Misc Item, do they?)

**Spike (Demoman)**

Set Name - Knights of the Dragon's Table

Hat: Helm of Valor - A knight's helmet that covers the Demoman's head, with its faceplate open to reveal his face.  
Misc Item 1: ? - Knight's pauldrons placed on the Demoman's shoulders, each with a spray-paint of his class icon.  
Misc Item 2: King of Scotland Cape

**Chronicle (Heavy)**

Set Name - Standard Marine

Hat: Patriotic Protection - A camo-colored US Marine's helmet.  
Misc Item 1: Army Fatigues - …exactly that, camo colored, and replacing the Heavy's suit.  
Misc Item 2: Satiating H2O - A water canteen coiled around a belt-loop in the Heavy's trousers. For Chronicle, it rests on whatever minigun he's using.

**Applejack (Engineer)**

Set Name - Farmer's Fallacy

Hat: Strawman's Hat - A tall pointy hat made out of straw.  
Misc Item 1: Out Farming - an burnt orange shirt with team-colored plaid-patterns that is worn in place of the Engineer's standard work shirt.  
Misc Item 2: Stalk o' Wheat - …exactly that, fixated on the Engineer's mouth.

**Fluttershy (Medic)**

Set Name - Seraphic Divinity

Hat: Cheater's Lament  
Misc Item 1: Divine Robes - White angelic robes replacing the Medic's labcoat, but still retaining the shoulder decals.  
Misc Item 2: Arrows of Healin - A backpack similar to the Medic's standard one, but colored brilliant yellow, has arrows protruding their feather-ends from the back, and is shaped like an archer's quiver.

**Twilight Sparkle (Sniper)**

Set Name - Classic Spellcaster

Hat: Magician's Hat - A standard pointy wizard's hat. It is team-colored and has white and yellow stars adorned on it.  
Misc Item 1: Mystical Cape - A standard team-colored wizard cape with white and yellow stars adorned on it.  
Misc Item 2: Wand of Magicalness - a white star-shaped wand poking out of the Sniper's pants pocket. For Twilight Sparkle, it would be poking out of her vest.

**Rarity (Spy)**

Set Name - Fairy Tale Princess (The one set the Spy absolutely probably wouldn't be wearing. I know the Heavy has that 'fairy princess' set, but that's the Heavy we're taking about.)

Hat: Princess Cap - A blue classic princess pointed cap with a team-colored loose ribbon.  
Misc Item 1: Princess Dress - A blue dress that is violet around the shoulders and chest, and is simplified for maximum mobility.  
Misc Item 2: Princess Slippers - A pair of blue princess's shoes with a team-colored ribbon.

(*) Future weapons. Coming soon.

nightelf37: See ya on Third!


	18. Showdown of the Century

The seventeen ponies, one baby dragon, and five humans are still having a hard time believing who was in front of them, even though he was standing right there in in front of all of them in all his manliness. But there was undeniable proof that Saxton Hale, the CEO of Mann Co., the company that makes many of the weapons the RED and BLU teams use, is in their presence.

"You all know why I'm here, right?!", asked Saxton Hale, his voice still strong, but no longer as loud as during his introduction. "No? Well, I got FOUR reasons!"

Saxton pointed at the weapons the Equestrians were wielding. "ONE, you are in violation of Mann Co. weapon copyrights!" Specifically, he pointed at Spike's Chargin' Targe and Ullapool Caber, Trixie Lulamoon's Ambassador revolver, Blue Diary's Force-A-Nature scattergun, the igniter on Pinkie Pie's Flamethrower, Rainbow Dash's Sandman bat, and Chronicle's Sandvich, which he was about to eat out of boredom.

"TWO, you've proven time and time again to be a match for BLU and RED! THREE, rumors about ponies kicking RED and BLU ass doesn't sit well with me, not that I care for them!" Saxton put his fists to his hips in an akimbo position. "And FOUR, I wanna see what you girls are made of!"

"Hey.", retorted Spike. "There are boys in this team too, you know!"

Saxton ignored him. "Well, you don't look like hippies, so what are we waiting for?! All of you against me! Let's see if you can fare better than those RED team ladies or those BLU team sissies!"

"Apologies, Mr. Hale.", said Blue Diary. "But your arrival was on such short notice and—"

"You need time to prepare, of course! And I'll have to set myself to one of the Respawn machines in this place! Tell you what—" Just then, out of nowhere, a tiger came out from atop the crates and pounced on Saxton, only for the man to block the feline's bite with his arm, without so much as bleeding. "I'm giving you three hours to prepare! In the meantime, I'll enjoy this tiger's pickapeppa sauce…at RED base!" Immediately, the tiger still in tow, he leaped high into the air, arcing towards the RED side of Granary, leaving everyone dumbfounded.

After a few seconds passed, Pinkie was the first to speak as she tapped her card and reverted to her normal appearance. "What a strange man." She was followed shortly by Spike, and then everypony else. And the EqU Equestrians noted that like their Trixie, the Trixie with them wore the same star-studded cape and pointy hat.

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Noontime…

While Dinky (Doo, not Hooves) and the LUNA ponies—save for Blue Diary—were taking their siesta, the EqU team, along with the humans, were contemplating on their current situation. They were all inside the cargo box of a dark blue semi truck, the vehicle LUNA uses for transport.

The cargo box was somehow bigger on the inside ("Just like the Doctor's blue box!", Derpy Hooves noted.) thanks to technology secret to the Story Crew. It held not only Tony's contraptions similar to Thenam's, but somewhat spacious sleeping quarters, or at least better ones than those of EqU, who had to cuddle together two at a time whenever they had to sleep, which the boys were sometimes either uncomfortable to or aroused to.

Currently, both tech experts were working on something special and thinking of the most optimal loadouts for the LUNA team. As for EqU, their Customizers were being borrowed by the two as they added in "something special".

"Okay. First, we encounter counterparts of ponies we know from an Equestria different from ours. Now, we have to fight the CEO of Mann Co. himself together with them?", Twilight asked.

"This is turning out to be an interesting day.", Chronicle managed to crack up a sarcastic smile.

"I'll have to concur.", returned Blue Diary. "As always, teamwork is vital if we are to achieve victory in this fight."

"Well, duh.", agreed Pinkie. "There's a reason this is called Team Fortress 2." She was instantly glared at by Blue, Chronicle, and all the humans. As for the others, they looked at her in confusion, then dismissed her. "…What?"

"You very well know why.", Tasic said.

"Oh, right."

"Well, we managed to decide the optimal loadout each of you would use.", said Tony. "Also, we have a special gift for the both Keepers and Elements of Harmony. Spike too." While six certain ponies in EqU are addressed as the Keepers of the Elements of Harmony, six other certain ponies in LUNA (Trixie, Lyra, Carrot, Raindrops, Ditzy, and Cheerilee) are addressed as the Elements themselves.

Tony and Thenam gave the six Keepers and Spike their Customizers, then gave them specific instructions on nudging the joysticks. "Now nudge right." They all did so, and their eyes widened in surprise.

"The Elements of Harmony!", Twilight cried out.

"Not the real ones, though. Those are still in Equestria.", said Thenam. "These are just replicas. No evil-sealing powers, no magical rainbow. Just simple pieces of jewelry."

"But won't they clash with our uniforms?", asked Rarity.

"No idea. Then again, some combinations may make you look like rummage sale rejects."

"At least put them on for this battle.", pleaded Tony. "After that, you can take them off if you wish."

"Besides, the Demoman has a crown among his possible hats.", said Joey. "And I'll have to say it looks good on him in spite of the rest of his uniform."

"This will be our toughest battle yet.", waned Tasic. "You guys ready?"

The nine EqU 'mercs' nodded in response. Spike then rose a hand. "Hold on a second.", he said. "Why do I also have the Element of Loyalty as a possible 'miscellaneous item'?"

Twilight seemed to notice, then turned away. Chronicle noticed, then realized it. "Three words.", he said. "New Rainbow Dash."

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Note: Italicized items are 'original', except for standard, which means exactly that (i.e. black cap for the Scout, the helmet for the Soldier, the 'winter cap' for the Demoman, the hardhat for the Engineer, and the bush hat for the Sniper).

nightelf37: For this chapter, I won't describe the new items because there are so many. Look them up on the Team Fortress 2 Wiki.

Rainbow Dash's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Soda Popper  
2° Weapon - Crit-a-Cola  
Melee Weapon - Sandman  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - _Element of Loyalty  
_Misc. Item 2 - None

Blue Diary's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Force-a-Nature  
2° Weapon - Mad Milk  
Melee Weapon - _Justice and Retibution_ (a pair of short swords that inflict the same amount of damage as the Bat, no bleeding effects)  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - License to Maim  
Misc. Item 2 - Merc's Pride Scarf

Derpy Hooves's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Liberty Launcher  
2° Weapon - _Royal Canterlot Hallmark_ (Provides a defensive buff that blocks 50% of incoming damage. Meter fills through damage dealt. Against Saxton Hale, it also grants 5% more health, but overheal limit is not changed accordingly. Upon hit, 'meter' is completely filled. When used, will block 60% of damage from Saxton against user and anyone within buff radius.)  
Melee Weapon - Shovel  
Hat - Wiki Cap (colored Aged Moustache Grey)  
Misc. Item 1 - Spirit Of Giving  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Raindrops's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Direct Hit  
2° Weapon - Reserve Shooter  
Melee Weapon - Shovel  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - _Necklace of Honesty  
_Misc. Item 2 - None

Pinkie Pie's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Flame Thrower  
2° Weapon - Shotgun  
Melee Weapon - Back Scratcher  
Hat - Party Hat (colored Pink As Hell)  
Misc. Item 1 - _Element of Laughter  
_Misc. Item 2 - Marxman (colored Pink As Hell)

Ditzy Doo's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Degreaser  
2° Weapon - "Mega-Detonator" (behaves like a Detonator, but allows for a very large Flare Jump at the expense of greater self-damage from explosions. Flare jump will propel the user a large distance regardless of whether it is detonated via alt-fire or via the flare exploding on contact with an object)  
Melee Weapon - Powerjack  
Hat - Attendant  
Misc. Item 1 - _Necklace of Kindness  
_Misc. Item 2 - HazMat Headcase

Spike's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Loch-n-Load  
2° Weapon - Chargin' Targe  
Melee Weapon - _Hero's Lance_

Hat - Hustler's Hallmark (colored Indubitably Green)  
Misc. Item 1 - _Element of Loyalty  
_Misc. Item 2 - None

Carrot Top's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Loch-n-Load  
2° Weapon - Scottish Resistance  
Melee Weapon - Frying Pan  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - _Necklace of Generosity_  
Misc. Item 2 - Spirit Of Giving

Chronicle's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Tomislav  
2° Weapon - Sandvich  
Melee Weapon - _Magic Horn Blade_ (as much damage as fists, but with slightly longer range and slightly slower attack rate)  
Hat - Heavy Artillery Officer's Cap  
Misc. Item 1 - _Pocket Medicshy  
_Misc. Item 2 - None

BonBon's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Iron Curtain  
2° Weapon - Shotgun  
Melee Weapon - Frying Pan  
Hat - Officer's Ushanka  
Misc. Item 1 - _Pocket Lyramedic  
_Misc. Item 2 - None

Applejack's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Frontier Justice  
2° Weapon - Wrangler  
Melee Weapon - Jag  
Hat - Texas Ten Gallon (colored Muskelmannbraun)  
Misc. Item 1 - _Element of Honesty  
_Misc. Item 2 - _Ironbuckers_ (pony counterpart for the Gunslinger)

Cheerilee's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Frontier Justice  
2° Weapon - Pistol  
Melee Weapon - Eureka Effect  
Hat - Engineer's Cap (colored Color No. 216-190-216)  
Misc. Item 1 - _Necklace of Laughter  
_Misc. Item 2 - Builder's Blueprints

Fluttershy's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Custom Syringe Gun (grants 5% Übercharge on hit and up to 10% faster movement speed based on Übercharge)  
2° Weapon - Custom Kritzkrieg (25% faster Übercharge rate. ÜberCharge grants both invulnerability and critical hits to both Medic and patient, lasts 50% longer than a normal Übercharge. Start with 40% ÜberCharge, and after each ÜberCharge, gains 30% Übercharge automatically. Targets with Crit boost will also deal Mini-crit damage for indirect forms of damage if being healed. Increase running speed when healing a Scout.)  
Melee Weapon - Saxxy  
Hat - Cheater's Lament  
Misc. Item 1 - _Element of Kindness  
_Misc. Item 2 - Physician's Procedure Mask

Lyra Heartstrings's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Custom Syringe Gun (grants 5% Übercharge on hit and up to 10% faster movement speed based on Übercharge)  
2° Weapon - Custom Kritzkrieg (25% faster Übercharge rate. ÜberCharge grants both invulnerability and critical hits to both Medic and patient, lasts 50% longer than a normal Übercharge. Start with 40% ÜberCharge, and after each ÜberCharge, gains 30% Übercharge automatically. Targets with Crit boost will also deal Mini-crit damage for indirect forms of damage if being healed. Increase running speed when healing a Scout.)  
Melee Weapon - Solemn Vow  
Hat - Gentleman's Ushanka  
Misc. Item 1 - _Necklace of Loyalty  
_Misc. Item 2 - None

Twilight Sparkle's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Sniper Rifle  
2° Weapon - SMG  
Melee Weapon - Kukri  
Hat - _Element of Magic  
_Misc. Item 1 - Villain's Veil (colored A Deep Commitment to Purple)  
Misc. Item 2 - Triad Trinket (colored A Deep Commitment to Purple)

Pokey Pierce's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Sydney Sleeper  
2° Weapon - Jarate  
Melee Weapon - Tribalman's Shiv  
Hat - Larrikin Robin  
Misc. Item 1 - Sniper's Snipin' Glass  
Misc. Item 2 - Triad Trinket

Rarity's Loadout:

2° Weapon - L'Etranger  
2° PDA - Dead Ringer  
Melee Weapon - Black Rose  
Hat - Frenchman's Beret (colored An Extraordinary Abundance of Tinge)  
Misc. Item 1 - _Element of Generosity  
_Misc. Item 2 - Spirit Of Giving

Trixie Lulamoon's Loadout:

2° Weapon - Ambassador  
2° PDA - Dead Ringer  
Melee Weapon - Conniver's Kunai  
Hat - _Tiara of Magic  
_Misc. Item 1 - Business Casual  
Misc. Item 2 - None

EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2

An hour before the scheduled showdown…

The five humans were discussing what assistance they could offer to the Equestrians as the EqU ones and Blue Diary were asked to leave the truck's cargo box.

"Okay. According to the intelligence we acquired, whenever Saxton Hale goes up against a team in an Arena match, his health varies depending on how many he's up against. Add seven hundred and sixty to the number of his opponents, multiply that by the same number. The final answer is that product to the power of one point zero four.", calculated Thenam.

"As he'll be facing seventeen ponies and one baby dragon, it all adds up to—", said Tony.

"Twenty-thousand, five hundred and sixteen hit points."

"Okay. That's a lot of hit points. Highest we could reach is four hundred fifty, a Heavy with overheal."

"Uh-huh. And judging by the damage output of the Equestrians' weapons, we're still gonna take a long time to defeat Saxton.", grumbled Tasic.

"But what else can we grant? This is everything the RED and BLU were granted in their fight against Hale." Joey gave a sheet of paper that listed the improvements made for the duration of the battle.

"Oh I know!", Jothicu had an idea. "Unicorn magic!"

"Oh, right!", said Tony. "That'll give a surprise and change of play!"

EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2

Minutes before the scheduled showdown…

"All right, girls and boys, listen up!", Tasic spoke up as he paced around like a drill sergeant in front of the eighteen. They were stationed inside the BLU spawn area, which was somehow placed where a yard was. "From our research, here's the lowdown of Saxton Hale's abilities. Apart from his mighty fists, which can send any of you away in at most two hits, three on an overhealed Heavy, he has a couple of tricks up his chest hair.

"First, you've seen how high he can jump. Second, after receiving a certain amount of damage, he can unleash a powerful scream that will stun you and render your weapon systems useless for several seconds. Heavies can still melee. Also, it will halve the health of nearby Sentry Guns and disable them temporarily. He will also resist a third of the damage you would inflict on him for four seconds after.

"Third, the weaker he is, the faster he gets, though he still can't catch up with Rainbow Dash uninhibited. Four, if he falls on you, it will hurt just as much as Saxton's fists. Five, after he's been airborne for five seconds, he can force himself to fall down to the ground to escape constant knockback.

"And another thing. For this fight only, there are numerous bonuses." He took out the paper Joey gave him and read out the what was written there. Once he was done… "Are you all ready?"

"You bet I am!" Rainbow Dash.

"Uh-huh." Blue Diary.

"Yepperdoodle." Derpy Hooves.

"Let's do this." Raindrops.

"Okie-dokie-lokie!" Pinkie Pie.

"Mm-mmph." Ditzy Doo.

"Yeah!" Spike.

"As I'll ever be." Carrot Top.

"I'm ready." Chronicle.

"As am I." BonBon.

"Let's show 'im what we can do." Applejack.

Cheerilee said nothing and made a steely "game face".

Fluttershy just nodded.

"Let's go!" Lyra Heartstrings.

"Let's do it." Twilight Sparkle.

"Let's send him off with a piercing remark." Pokey Pierce.

"Of course." Rarity.

"Let the show begin." Trixie Lulamoon.

"Remember. Teamwork makes the dream work. Good luck." Tasic then exited the respawn room.

"Mission begins in sixty seconds." Tony's voice was heard.

Immediately, as they were the defending team, and because Saxton decided to give them "mercy prep time", the eighteen moved out. As advised sometime earlier, the Engineers constructed their Dispensers on the crates and set up their Sentry Guns there and upgraded them to Level 3. The Heavies and Pyros stood guard nearby as did the Medics. Everypony else positioned themselves near the exit Saxton Hale would take and they waited for the timer to go down.

"Five. Four. Three. Two. One."

But instead of exiting through either the Garage or the Choke, he exited through the catwalk with a jump, surprising everypony as he then landed on one of the RED crates.

"Lets get this over with!", he said. "There's a white shark waiting for me in my office!"

EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2

The battle proved to be the toughest fight they've ever had. Then again, both teams have yet to encounter the boss monsters found only in Halloween like The Horseless Headless Horsemann, MONOCULUS!, or its summoner Merasmus, the RED Soldier's roommate.

Things got a bit out of hoof as Saxton managed to smash Cheerilee's Dispenser and Sentry Gun and knock down BonBon to the ground. Lyra saved her with an ÜberCharge and they were protected for a while, both of them glowing midnight blue like their own Princess Luna. All of LUNA bore this colored coating of energy when Übercharged, just like RED only has red and BLU only blue, unlike EqU, who bear differing colors for each member.

Saxton continued to hound them down though, even as the others continued to pepper him with covering fire, especially Rainbow Dash and Blue Diary. He responded to the Scouts' attacks with backhand strikes, which were all misses.

Eventually, the ÜberCharge wore off and Saxton delivered a one-two-three punch combo that sent BonBon away. He wa about to go for Lyra next when Rainbow got in his way…and into Lyra's Medigun beam, allowing the LUNA Medic to escape. It also showed Blue aiming at Saxton with the Force-a-Nature. The white pegasus fired and they were both sent flying, the Australian high and the LUNA Scout higher.

A rocket from Derpy sent Saxton higher, and another from Raindrops even more. Then the two of them together with Applejack and her Mini-Sentry Gun kept him in the air as Twilight and Pokey sniped him from their positions. This was further amped up with Pinkie and Ditzy's airblasts and Chronicle's minigun fire as Cheerilee proceeded to rebuild her Dispenser and Sentry. Saxton escaped from this with his "weighdown" ability. He promptly got a backstab.

"Time to swat that mosquito!", he said as he turned around to deliver a punch—only to hit thin air, much to his slight confusion.

As it turns out, that backstab came from Trixie. And thanks to the more liberal use of magic in this battle, she had telekinetically tossed her Conniver's Kunai, then recalled it with a special spell.

With a "health bonus" secured, she quickly slunk away and cast some more spells on herself. While the Invisibility watches can grant…invisibility, not only can Trixie's spell do it better, she also knows a spell that blocks off any sounds she makes as well. She can only hope that Saxton doesn't have ridiculously good hearing like one certain earth pony musician she knows…

Meanwhile, after ignoring that backstab, Saxton made his way around a crate, bypassing Trixie and catching Carrot Top in his sights as she began to lay stickybombs. He rushed for the LUNA Demomare, only for her to be whisked away by Derpy as Raindrops gave him a reminder that there were still a lot more ponies to deal with. He trod on a mine and Carrot set it off. However, this ended up bringing him closer to her and Derpy. The LUNA Demomare responded to this predicament by swinging her Frying Pan at his head, doing little (crit-boosted) damage, but pushing them off of his fists' range. However, Saxton then landed right on top of Cheerilee's newly rebuilt Sentry Gun, which he promptly smashed.

"**PROPERTY DAMAGE!**"

He was promptly soaked with Jarate courtesy of Pokey, who then jumped out of sight as everypony in range continued to assault him. Deciding he has taken enough damage, he let out a battle cry.

"**Saxton Hale!**" This cry got all in range in a tizzy. He was about to go for Cheerilee but she had used the Eureka Effect's taunt ability during his battle cry, raising the wrench with the mech-arm on her back and teleporting in a flash of white light, returning to the spawn area.

Saxton took advantage of his stun effect by jumping straight for Raindrops, grabbing her by the neck, landing on the ground pegasus-first, then hurled her straight for Derpy, who had dropped Carrot when she got stunned. The resulting collision—thanks to something in Saxton's fists—sent them both away. Hale doesn't usually throw his opponents around, not even the Scout, but the opportunity to hurl a pony was too great for him to pass up.

He then went for Twilight, who had fallen to the ground after his battle cry. Upon seeing him, she quickly fled to the exit at the choke, firing back with her SMG as he followed, getting a flare from Ditzy and bypassing a Mini-Sentry moved by Applejack, which he smashed. As she turned a corner, Saxton saw a flash right after. He turned as well…to see no sign of the EqU Sniper. _Hold on. What that a Spy disguised as a Sniper?_

Twilight had teleported herself to the rooftop of the RED spawn area to catch a breather. However, she ended up getting a much longer one. Why? Because six seconds later, Saxton's fist punched straight through the roof and right into her stomach, sending her away.

"You can't hide from me!", he called out afterward before heading back to the center area to deal with the rest. However, just as he turned, he saw the EqU Demoman with a knight's lance that was as tall as him (Spike, not Saxton). Lyra was right behind him, ready for another ÜberCharge.

_This Hero's Lance of yours works like the Eyelander, and your card takes 14 percent more damage._, Spike recalled Thenam's words. _Although it doesn't really take heads, with each kill, you get healed and grow stronger not in attack power but in how much damage you can take, and running speed. But after reaching five kills, healing is all you will earn. Also, should you kill an enemy Demoman wielding the Eyelander, his bonuses are added to yours, although the reverse holds true for you as well. You also gain bonuses from taking out a Sniper with the Bazaar Bargain depending on how many consecutive headshots he's scored, I still don't know how that works. Just for this fight, you can have a taste of the Hero's Lance's maximum potential since you gain power for every hit on Saxton Hale._

As the Australian ran straight for the dragon, Spike used his lance to strike at Saxton's chest and parry his punches, all while backing away, becoming faster with each hit and his eyes glowing "prophetic" white, although it did nothing to affect his vision. This was then coupled with an ÜberCharge, which made all the hits critical, especially when Spike switched to his Loch-n-Load. Saxton tried going for the LUNA Medic, but the EqU Demoman kept him back.

Still, Saxton persevered by evading the attacks long enough for the ÜberCharge to fade. Once that happened, Spike switched back to his lance, but Saxton managed to shove it aside and deliver one punch, leaving Spike in critical. Before he could finish him off, even as Lyra was healing him, Spike brought his Chargin' Targe in front of himself and the fatal (send-away) blow, became a simple blow-across-the-room one as the dragon was sent flying into his healer and they were blown across the garage, past a moved Mini-Sentry Gun and back into the central yard.

At the crates above, Fluttershy saw him land on the central control point, not looking very good, and Lyra looking dazed. She turned to Chronicle, who gave her the go-ahead and primed his minigun. As the EqU Medic went over to get her teammates to safety, the Chargin' Targe now in pieces, Saxton came into view and the ponies provided covering fire. The cover was enough to get Spike and Lyra out of Saxton's attention, but not the Mini-Sentry, which he smashed again.

The Australian leaped upward straight for Chronicle, who repelled him with a blast of magic shaped like a ninja's throwing star, sending him flying, followed by another flare from Ditzy. However, with no Soldiers to keep him aloft with rockets, with Applejack's newly-rebuilt Mini-Sentry Gun not doing as much damage as Cheerilee's currently-being-upgraded Sentry, and with Pinkie somehow being inconspicuously absent for some reason, Saxton was on the ground a few seconds later.

However, he was then doused again in Jarate, which was followed up by a backstab. "Heheheh. Oh, that tickles!" Saxton then jumped backwards…and tackled a retreating Rarity. The two landed on their backs, and then Saxton quickly got up as the EqU Spy attempted to recover from this sudden maneuver. Next, he jumped back and did an elbow drop on her, sending her away…or so he thought. "Take that, you sneaky bitch!"

That was when he noticed that he's been taking steady damage from something other than the EqU Heavy's minigun fire, the Sentry Guns' fire, the LUNA Pyro's flares, the Scouts' occasional scattergun fire, or the occasional Demo-grenade, any of them being occasionally turning into critical hits thanks to the ÜberCharge. Before he can ponder further, the EqU Pyro popped up from behind him with no prior hints to being there. She seemed to be saying something, but Saxton had tuned her out as he swung in vain to land a hit on Pinkie and ran around looking for somepony in range, finding none, he screamed his name once more and everypony nearby got stunned and the Sentry Guns disabled.

He turned around again to see the EqU Pyro with a hoof on her head. He made a grin as he grabbed her by the hind legs, spun around with her (but it didn't dissuade the others from firing as the FFPS would protect Pinkie), then hurled her somewhere…and right into the invisible LUNA Spy. Upon collision, Trixie obviously lost her focus and her enchantments were broken, although she managed to take something out. Saxton then rushed for them and delivered a powerful punch, sending them away. Well, one of them he was sure was gone anyway.

He was then struck from behind by Spike, who was back in action and glowing a brilliant green thanks to the Übercharge, which was provided by Lyra. Spike continued his jabs until Saxton grabbed the weapon by his bare hand, and hurled the baby dragon away, prematurely breaking the beam and turning him to normal and exposing a still-Übercharged Lyra, who quickly fled the scene just as her charge ran out.

Saxton quickly turned to where the EqU Demoman fell after his hurl, saw him trying to get up, then barreled straight for him. However, his kill was thwarted by his target getting whisked away by a white blur, followed by a yellow one. Saxton took pursuit as the three made their way to the BLU spawn area, where he can't catch them. He almost reached them when something suddenly appeared right in front of him.

It was Chronicle who then opened fire with his Tomislav, driving the Australian back. Behind him, a Mini-Sentry was set down and it fired as Applejack was then pulled back to safety by Rainbow Dash. Saxton quickly escaped the onslaught and went straight for the unicorn, only for him to miss as an after-image of the EqU Heavy was left for him to see. Then he was shot from behind, and Saxton turned to deliver another punch, only for his fist to meet a blade. A blade of energy, that is, from the carrottop-blond unicorn's horn.

"Are you really the strongest pony in your team?", Saxton asked as he attempted to grip the blade of energy, only for Chronicle to dismiss it, leaving the Australian with empty air as he jumped away and fired once more with the Tomislav. Saxton shrugged off the bullets and threw a powerful punch, sending the unicorn flying right into the Mini-Sentry, destroying it, and back to the central area. He then turned back to the BLU spawn area, only to find his previous three targets already inside. Well, the EqU Medic then made her way out and through the choke, holding the Solemn Vow, and Saxton decided to follow her.

"What was I thinking when I decided to take the Mad Milk?", Blue said as he switched the liquid for the standard Pistol.

"Yeah.", Spike agreed as he (unwisely) decided to switch the Hero's Lance for the Ullapool Caber, losing his boost in the process. "I wanna try something else."

"Melee shouldn't even be what we're supposed to be doing, given his fists. Leave that to the Spies with their backstabs."

"Except they're both taken out by Saxton. Already, seven of us are down."

"No need to remind me." Unlike Chronicle, Blue wasn't too forgiving of anyone outside his friends, although not as much as a certain sister of theirs. And given what Spike in his Equestria is, he wasn't too trusting of this one, even though he's one of the good guys, although he could stay civil with him. And then he noticed what Spike had taken out. "Seriously?"

"What? I'm not gonna whack the guy with it. I'm not drunk."

"Hold on. You'll lose your Lance's bonuses if you switch. Are you sure you wanna do this?"

"Oh, all right." With that, Spike decided to stick with the Hero's Lance.

Just then, two others came in, two others they thought were sent away by Saxton Hale, and were headed straight for the Resupply lockers.

"Rarity!", cried out Spike in relief. "You're all right!"

"Trixie!", called out Blue. "Took you long enough."

Both Spies showed their Dead Ringers, which explained their still being in the fight, then started changing their equipment, eying each other with suspicion all the while, clearly not too comfortable with each others' company. The LUNA one switched her Ambassador for the Enforcer while the EqU one switched her Black Rose for the Conniver's Kunai.

Meanwhile, Chronicle was about to scarf down his Sandvich, but that was deemed unnecessary thanks to Lyra healing him. And then he saw Fluttershy firing the Syringe Gun and coming fast out of the choke, Saxton on her tail. Impulse told him to rush in, but his 'card' has somewhat lowered his running speed, although he's still faster than the average Heavy. Also, he had to learn to trust his teammates.

Luckily, they pulled through; Applejack descended with a new Mini-Sentry Gun, unloaded it, took out the Wrangler, and used it to open fire on Saxton. Carrot stood close by, launching grenades to hit Saxton. Fluttershy swerved from the attacks meant for the man behind, even though she knows the FFPS would protect her. However, Saxton was getting faster now, and seemed to be ignoring the knockback. He then leaped up high, with intent to pounce on the Mini-Sentry.

As Applejack aimed her Mini-Sentry up, Carrot motioned for the pegasus to move away as she planted stickybombs while both earth ponies retreated. Saxton landed on top of the Mini-Sentry, then smashed it with one punch in spite of its small force field. "**PROPERTY DAMAGE!**" He was promptly blasted into the air by the stickybombs left behind. However, before they blew up, he managed to land in a spot where he would be blown straight for his two targets, even as he was blown a bit to the side by an airblast from Ditzy, who was on the crates.

Saxton decided to deal with her later as he continued to pursue the LUNA Demomare and the EqU Engineer, both of them shooting back at him as they made their way into the garage and up the ramp, granting access to the crates. Carrot planted some more bombs as they got back on the crates and next to Applejack's Dispenser. However, their reloading was unnecessary as Saxton then bellowed, "**Stop, right there!**" and his battle cry stunned the two…as well as one other in range, and Chronicle who was following behind. He promptly jumped after the two earth ponies, then sent them away and destroyed the Dispenser. "Your metal toys are no match for me!" He then jumped down…and onto a stunned Rainbow Dash, sending her away as well upon landing. "**You just got signed by Saxton Hale's FIST!**"

He then received a headshot from Pokey, who stood a fair distance away next to Fluttershy and Cheerilee's Level 3 Sentry Gun, which was now covered in a near-black-and-blue force field. As it was, upon returning to the spawn area, she had switched her Pistol for the Wrangler and was now aiming for him. Ignoring the returning LUNA Scout and EqU Demoman as they fired away at him, not to mention the EqU Heavy—who seems to have closed his eyes in focus on something and was still being healed up by Lyra, or at least building up an Übercharge—and another invisible irritating form of damage, Saxton jumped up and proceeded to run around and smash away at the Sentry Gun. Pokey had moved away before the jump and had hurled another Jarate, increasing the damage Saxton's taking. Flutershy retreated as well and—for the second time—fired on him, not exactly to hurt him but to build her Übercharge and speed to run and save whoever she can.

Before long however, the machine was destroyed and Saxton made his way to the three ponies, who decided to get down to the others. He managed to nail a punch on Pokey before he could get down, sending him away. Before the Australian could follow the rest however, he was blasted back by an invisible attack…and it wasn't an airblast as Ditzy was too far away for it to be accurate. As it turns out, Chronicle has developed something akin to the Heavy's taunt. Since he didn't have any fingers to do the Showdown, being a pony and all, he developed alongside Tasic and Thenam this new "Silent Shuriken" spell as a substitute. It normally uses a lot of magic energy, but while fighting as a Heavy, there is little energy use.

As Saxton crashed on the other side of the crates, Spike came around with the Hero's Lance, Lyra behind him ready for an Übercharge, and charged right for the Australian. As he attacked, from above on the crates Saxton was seconds ago, Ditzy came over and shot flares, blowing the Australian about. Spike and Lyra pulled back just as their Übercharge expired, only for Chronicle and Fluttershy to emerge from the other side and attack, their Übercharge ready and soon running. While that happened, Blue had carried Cheerilee up to her Dispenser and she began rebuilding her Sentry. Once it was Level 1, she started upgrading it while the other four continued attacking.

Just then, Saxton let out his battle cry just as Spike and Lyra were in range turn to attack and the latter about to unleash her Übercharge, leaving them (and Ditzy) stunned. He quickly took advantage of this and delivered a one-two-three punch combo, sending them both away. Then he leaped up to the crate, not noticing Ditzy, but seeing Cheerilee and Blue. Just as the LUNA Engineer finished upgrading to Level 3, it began to open fire on the Australian, but he shrugged off the bullets and jumped up to smash it to pieces even as the LUNA Engineer and Scout were already on the retreat, the former with the Dispenser in tow.

At this point, the control point was activated. "Control point enabled, move!", Tony called out from wherever they were.

"Please don't lose, Mommy!", Dinky called.

Meanwhile, as Saxton managed to catch up with Cheerilee, she dumped her Dispenser, which he smashed quickly, and split up from Blue just as they exited the garage. Naturally, that turned out to be a bad idea since Saxton decided to go for her than chase down a speedy Scout. After all, they have the same vitality, and an Engineer was more of a threat with their buildings and all. Since he has taken so much damage throughout the fight, Saxton caught up with Cheerilee and sent her away with a powerful punch, leaving four ponies left to take care of as far as he was concerned.

Upon hearing that the control point was open, Saxton took the quickest route there…which was also the same route Blue was taking, and thus he continued the chase. At the center, the remaining three ponies gathered on it. Luckily for the pegasi, thanks to their 'cards', they are still treated as "on the point" even when hovering above it as long as they don't exceed the height of a Level 3 Dispenser.

Just then, the two unicorn Spies uncloaked themselves on the point, startling the three already there, who called out their names in surprise. Before they could talk further, Blue entered their sights and so did Saxton as he saw what was about to happen. "Capping the point in a fight with me is surefire sign of a hippie!"

Just as Blue joined his teammates, Fluttershy activated the Übercharge on Chronicle, Saxton was on the point well before it can be captured and thus secure victory for the ponies. In spite of the fact that he can take them down in one hit or that his taunt can spell doom for all of them, the remaining ponies stood their ground.

Luckily for them, he wasn't charged enough yet as he was held at bay by the EqU Heavy's flurry of slashes with his "magic horn blade", which inflicted as much pain as the Heavy's fists, and when the Übercharge wore off, he and the LUNA Scout kept his fists at bay with their blades and the latter kept him from just taking off into the air, their movements strangely in sync despite not meeting one another for so long. The rest kept their distance just outside the point, firing streams of fire, syringes, or revolver rounds.

At one point, a burning Saxton managed to escape the two brothers and send away Rarity for good before getting 'snagged' back in. Trixie then 'hurled' her knife at Saxton's back, who said, "Feels like a razor!", then decided that he's taken enough damage, and cried out "**Saxton Hale!**" Or at least that was what he did after Trixie quickly tackled him out of the point and towards the garage. However, she wasn't able to get Saxton out of the range enough before he unleashed it, spelling her doom and catching the others she was supposed to save in its range.

Saxton quickly dealt with the LUNA Spy, made sure she was gone for good for this round, then rushed right for the point to finish off everyone else, only for a blade of energy to stop him in his tracks. As it was, even while stunned, the EqU Heavy could still attack physically. And to everyone's surprise, this blade had pierced right through his chest hair, a second before the point was captured.

"Nooo!", Saxton cried out before falling to the ground as the "horn blade" was 'withdrawn'. "Saxton... Hale..."

"Victory!", whooped Tasic. And the remaining four sighed in relief.

"That was way too close!", gasped Chronicle.

"Why didn't you inform us?", Blue Diary asked Fluttershy as Saxton's body disappeared, presumably to respawn. Since she had the Solemn Vow, she would have intel on the enemy's condition. He then read the expression on her face, then said, "Never mind. Probably too tense to tell. And I don't think you would've told us given who would directly contribute to another's loss via information, although healing to keep us up is a contribution."

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After the battle…

Everybody was gathered in the center area, a newly revived Saxton on one side, EqU and LUNA on the other. For some reason, Saxton still looked a bit tired, perhaps still in denial from the fact that a bunch of ponies (and a single baby dragon) did what trained psychopaths and killers could not. Even though those ponies had the ability of flight and mystical powers like one of the mercenaries' roommates.

"Wow.", Tony said as he saw Dinky and Ditzy embrace each other, with Derpy looking sad, probably missing her own Dinky. "I can't believe Saxton Hale was just defeated."

"I…" Saxton had a hand to his face as he rubbed his forehead, then made a stance that might or night not have been a bluff. "Let's have another go at it!"

"What?", Spike complained.

"Don't you have a 'white shark' waitin' in your office?", asked Applejack.

"What's a white shark?", Pinkie wanted to know.

"Oh, right.", said Blue, recalling a place called Andalantis. "Most of you have never been to the sea. Or any very deep water for that matter." He gave a shudder noticeable only to just a few. He wasn't going to tell them that he hated deep water.

"I have.", Derpy said. "The Doctor took me to the beach once. We encountered the Daleks again. Don't remember what they wanted."

Saxton interrupted the talk by slamming his fists together. "I'll endanger you like I've endangered hundreds of other animals!"

This gave a small shock to everybody, but one of them was horrified most of all, and she then stepped forward. Saxton noticed this, put his arms down and paused as Fluttershy walked up to him, then hovered so that her face met with his. What happened next was something so awesome no one from the Story Crew bothered to remember in detail.

She gave him a harsh reprimand that was only compounded with her Stare. The Equestrians were amazed at this ability, the LUNA ones (even Blue) more so since this sort of thing was virtually nonexistent for their Fluttershy, and the Story Crew humans were awed at seeing this in action and affecting the overly manly Australian. One of the LUNA ponies, Carrot Top, seemed envious as well.

Once she was done, the EqU Medic backed off for a bit, then landed on the ground. Saxton looked tensed, obviously trying to show that he wasn't afraid and denying to himself that he was. He'd never live it down if he admitted it.

In the end, he managed to keep a straight face as he said, "Oookay! Looks like you ponies really should not be underestimated! I think I'll let you continue your fights here in Mann's Land. I was going to snitch you to Mrs. Helen, but I really think I shouldn't. Well, I guess I should leave. Wouldn't want to keep that white shark waiting!" He then tipped his hat, then leaped off into the distance, crying out his name as he faded out of sight, leaving a twinkle in the sky.

Once he was gone, everybody sighed in relief, their greatest trial yet over. As for Carrot Top however, she walked up to Fluttershy, got her attention, then said, "Is it possible for you to teach me what you did to Mr. Hale?"

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Later…

"So what's Lyra like in your Equestria?"

"Oh, quite like you. Marefriends with Bon Bon, upbeat, musician, best in the lyre. But she isn't lazy, she's also with Golden Harvest, who is best friends wih Derpy. And while you want to keep away from having hands for as long as possible, she on the other hoof is fascinated with them."

Chronicle was talking with the mint green unicorn while they walked across the central area. He could see Carrot Top and Applejack talking and listening in awe about each other's worlds' counterparts. Applejack was awed that her counterpart's farm is a booming business, a near-monopoly in fact, but is disturbed by her paranoia and underestimation of its staying power. Carrot was amazed that her counterpart's rivalry with Applejack is more friendly, is already friends with Derpy, and is…more an "action mare".

"Well, she may think otherwise once she becomes something like Joey nd Tony are. How is she fascinated with them if humans don't exist in Equestria?"

"Surprisingly, her desire for hands has something to do with pegasi, about them using their wings for playing the lyre. That and seeing Spike do stuff with his hands."

"Oh.", Lyra said as they bypassed Twilight and Trixie, who were discussing magic, power vs. skill.

"If you're worried about paper cuts, and believe me I know what those are, there are always gloves." He glanced at Joey and Jothicu, who seemed to be conversing with one another, the latter holding a Sandvich.

"Well that's a comforting thought."

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Meanwhile…

As they bypassed Raindrops conversing with Rainbow Dash and Ditzy Doo and Derpy Hooves having fun with Dinky, Blue Diary was asking Tony something.

"I've been meaning to ask, but…"

"But what?"

"We've been told that should we ever leave Equestria or whatever world we're assigned to that doesn't have humans, we'd resume our normal forms, right?"

"Right."

"Then why am I still a pony? And Chronicle too. Not that I have problems with it."

"You see, it has something to do with the mass teleportation that was supposed to bring your friends and Sparkler here.", Tony explained as they stopped for a while. "You do know that you all had a difficult time getting used to your weapons and gadgets and fighting and not-really-killing and stuff?"

"Yeah?"

"We didn't want to add the problem of—"

"Dealing with having human bodies?", a different voice asked.

"Why ye—whoa!" In the middle of the conversation, Chronicle had broken off of his conversation with Lyra and was now beside them. "How'd you get here without us noticing?", asked Tony.

"Well, when you got someone with Toon traits for a friend, you tend to pick up a few things."

"Pinkie Pie.", Blue grumbled.

"But how'd you know what I was gonna say?", Tony wanted to know.

"I asked Tasic the same question an earlier time."

"Oh, I see." Tony paused for a moment. "What do you want to do now?"

"From what Tasic told me after our showdown with Saxton Hale, BLU has left Egypt and will be returning to Mann's Land, but RED is nowhere to be found."

"I see. So we'll be parting ways?"

"We'll keep in touch. And I'm sure we can stick together on the road for a while, right?"

"Right."

"I'm glad we're through with Saxton Hale.", Blue gave a sigh of relief.

"You can say that again."

And the three boys laughed in relief.

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nightelf37: And that's it for now. In case you're confused with the mech-arms, they've been around since the **first** chapter, holding the weapons for the non-unicorn ponies. Also, I apologize if the battle is not faithful to all the _VS Saxton Hale Mod_ battles. I don't actually play _Team Fortress 2_.

Chronicle: Half its fans don't.

nightelf37: See ya on Third!


	19. A Trip to Pyroland

After the showdown with Saxton Hale, EqU and LUNA left Granary together in their trailer and semi-with-cargo-box, they stopped at the town of Teufort, not the CTF base where Rarity once retrieved BLU's info on EqU.

There, they stumbled into Merasmus, who for some reason sent EqU into DeGroot Keep, where they ran into the RED Team. The two teams fought and EqU managed to evict RED from the castle, only to be then evicted by BLU, who were sent there sometime after.

EqU managed to return to Mann's Land's present, only to be there in time for Halloween. Not necessarily in order, They faced Merasmus at Ghost Fort, his minion the MONOCULUS! and ghosts at Eyeaduct, and the Horseless Headless Horsemann in Mann Manor, all while battling the RED team as well.

A few other interesting events happened as well, including facing off a mad BLU Engineer in a big mecha (that wasn't Dell Conagher), fighting a Lovecraftian horror that nearly decimated the RED Team, and the RED Scout somehow turning into a baby of all things.

Eventually, especially after the last one, the Equestrians were homesick and Tasic decided to send them home for the time being, their memories of all this fighting, (not-really-)killing(-thanks-to-Respawn), and their meeting of LUNA inhibited until they return. As it was, even though they've been gone for quite some time, it wasn't long enough for their families and friends to worry too much—given that Princess Celestia helped in that regard—or for evil forces that needed the Elements of Harmony out of the way to make their move, which the Story Crew helped with behind the scenes.

After the wedding in Canterlot (and the changeling attack) and the events in the Crystal Empire, the nine were eventually called back to Mann's Land to continue in their mission.

Why did I skip all the way to this? I wanted to do the "Meet the Pyro", already, which was the original intent of Equestria Fortress 2; to ponify the "Meet the Team" videos. But then I learned about Medieval Mode, the Halloween monsters, Merasmus, and finally Mann vs. Machine.

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One day…

Right after yet another practice battle, Tasic was loafing off in the trailer, watching the screens in front of him when the largest of them opened to reveal—

"Tasic Ancinet.", an elderly and sinister voice greeted. "We meet at last."

Needless to say, Tasic was shocked; it was the Administrator! However, he didn't show it as he calmly replied, "Well, if it isn't Mrs. Helen. How did you reach this private frequency? I've made all the necessary precautions to make this inaccessible to outsiders."

"It took long enough for me to infiltrate this channel."

"Well, what brings you to having this conversation with me?"

"I don't know what you're up to, but I will not tolerate any more competition than I already have if I must. It's already a headache to have my men face the Horseless Headless Horsemann in Mann Manor, the MONOCULUS in Eyeaduct, and its master Merasmus in Ghost Fort, not to mention Saxton Hale on occasion wanting to test their skills. I have been tolerating your band of equines and little lizard, but no more."

"What are going to do about it, Mrs. Helen?"

"Well, I have plenty of ways to shut you down for good, but your team has been providing…useful intel. As well as new weapons and accessories they seem to crave. And meaningless life lessons. Lessons about…friendship." She said the last word venomously. "I despise friendships."

"All the more reason you should be taken down."

"You're not that big a threat to me."

"Really? I thought you were the sort who crushed all opposition."

"No. I have better ways."

"So…what is it you wish to do?"

The Administrator answered his question by holding up a map of Mann's Land with a penciled "X" on it somewhere. "You shall meet with the RED Team here for an Arena match. Lose or tie, and you leave, never to interfere with my RED versus BLU war ever again. Win and I shall allow you to…continue your feeble struggle." She then put away the map. "Don't worry about me cheating. I will never do such a thing."

"And why, if deceit, bribery, and murder are all right with you?"

"Because cheating robs you of the feeling of superiority you get from you besting your foes!"

"Okay." Apparently, for all her evils, she was a fair player. "Wait…whyever would you tolerate us all of a sudden when you said you wouldn't any longer just a minute ago?"

The Administrator calmed down, having blown her top after explaining her one and only standard. "Because as much as I hate friendships, which your team practically reeks of, I am confident that I shall be victorious in the end, and because I happen to market a home version of the war games. And as much as I hate the little equines and the lizard with them, they make an…interesting twist that a few of my clients enjoy. Particularly as popular as the war games that included the monsters and that wizard." There was a long pause. "And that is supposed to be a secret between me and Miss Pauling. I have no idea why I just told you that."

"You don't have to worry about me telling.", Tasic assured as he gave a suspicious smile. "My lips are sealed." He then made some motions. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." This motion left the Administrator looking at him in a mildly confused manner. "That was a promise oath devised by my team's Pyro. And she is strange…more so than your Pyros I daresay."

All of a sudden, Pinkie Pie, wearing her Pyro suit popped out of nowhere and right in front of Tasic, looking straight at the Administrator. "And to break a Pinkie Promise is to lose a friend's trust, and that's the fastest way to lose a friend **forever**!" Immediately, Tasic pushed her down, only for her to pop up, this time from the ceiling and say, "And I'm never ever ever ever **ever** gonna throw a party for you, you big ol' stinky meanie of a meanie-pants!" And then she was gone. With no hint of being in the trailer.

The Administrator was left confused again, her eyebrow twitching as if she was about to snap. "H-how…"

"It's best not to question my Pyro's actions. For some reason, while the speech of any replications of her are muffled like your Pyros, she's the sole exception. Bye." And with that, he terminated the line, then leaned back in his chair. "Damn, we got a big problem on our hands. What did I just get ourselves into?"

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The scheduled Arena match was in a ghost town akin to one in the Wild West (or as Applejack put it, like a town akin to Appleloosa). After cloaking the trailer, the EqU moved out. Just before that happened, an invisible wave washed over them.

Derpy was the first to ask. "Was that…"

"Yes.", confirmed Thenam over the communication system. "Realism Mode has kicked in. Be extra careful of the Pyro in this wooden town. And Pinkie, restrain yourself from burning things too recklessly. Everypony, remember that the FFPS doesn't work while Realism Mode is up. May Celestia be with you."

Realism Mode was something initiated only by the Administrator herself. They had first felt its effects during the "baby Scout" incident. And it was a very horrific experience that needed them to take a break back in Equestria, a special lesson in their subconscious; while a band of killers, they share a powerful bond. Not as powerful as the one the bearers of the Elements of Harmony have, but a powerful one regardless.

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The battle was a very intense one, but was in EqU's favor. At first, that is. And then the RED Pyro started burning the entire place down. Thankfully, a heat veil spell had been cast on all of them to protect from the heat. Spike needed no such spell cast on him since his dragon scales already provided that. However, there was something else in the flames that gave a debilitating effect. And it was eventually setting in.

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(A/N: Since color texts aren't allowed, anything in Pyroland is typed starting with "Pyroland: {events}", the text after it its counterpart in reality.)

Pyroland: The RED Pyro was enjoying himself as he used his device to spray out a stream of colorful bubbles and rainbows, causing flowers and lollipops to sprout from the grass on the lawn he stood on.

The RED Pyro was enjoying himself as he used his weapon to burn the entire town to the ground.

Pyroland:He held what seemed to be a series of three brass horns with long, spiraling piping and a container of sparkly pink fluid, and made wind chime sounds when fired. His precious Rainblower.

He had his trusty Flame Thrower, a long metal pole connected by a hose to a propane tank, which was attached to the pole via fastening bands. It also had a continually lit pilot light at the nozzle. The trigger was made out of a red gas pump handle.

Pyroland:As he bypassed a floating cat, he then saw a blue unicorn turn and look at him. However, it didn't look like his friend Mr. Balloonicorn, who was 'inflatable', floating, and a foot tall. This unicorn was just about two feet shorter than him, had a yellow-and-orange mane and tail, brown eyes, and had a marking on his flank that reminded him of the one on the EqU Heavy.

As the Pyro passed a burning stake, Chronicle entered his sights, then turned to face him.

Pyroland: The blue unicorn seemed to smile, then prance forward after the Pyro took out a lollipop and raised it with a cheer.

Chronicle spun his Minigun, only to find out he has run out of ammo. "Dammit." He then charged forward with his "magic horn blade" 'drawn' as the Pyro took out his fire axe and raised it with a cheer.

Pyroland: The Pyro then skipped forward to meet up with the blue unicorn, then jumped and spun as he brought down the lollipop so the unicorn could grab it. However, he (the Pyro had no idea why he assumed that) decided to playfully dodge to the side instead. But the Pyro wanted to give it the lollipop, so he swung it again and he succeeded.

The Pyro charged to meet up with the EqU Heavy, then jumped up to bring it down on Chronicle's skull, who was having none of that as he strafed to the left. However, the Pyro then made a side swing, catching him on the head and sending him tumbling.

Pyroland: As the blue unicorn enjoyed his lollipop, the Pyro turned to see something else come. It was a cyan winged pony (a pegasus) flying straight for him, then stop right in front of him with a wide grin. From what he could see, this pony had magenta eyes, straight eyelashes, a polychromatic mane and tail, and a marking of a three-colored lightning bolt coming from a white cloud on her flank.

As Chronicle reeled and slumped to the ground from the painful gash in his head, which began to drip blood, the Pyro turned to see Rainbow Dash fly straight for him.

Pyroland: The cyan pegasus waited as the Pyro then took out a small blower, and blew bubbles in her face, making her laugh.

As Rainbow continued to close in, the Pyro took out a new weapon. It was a flare gun with a gray barrel and an orange painted muzzle, the Scorch Shot. He turned sideways and aimed the Scorch Shot at her, firing a single shot. She was beaned by it and was immediately sent away.

Pyroland: As the pegasus reeled back laughing, the Pyro then turned to his left upon hearing a squeak. It was a yellow pony with sea green eyes and a pink mane. He was unable to see much else as she was in a box, which she then hid in, dropping the lid that was on her head.

Inside a shed, Fluttershy had been patching up a bleeding Rarity and cleaning up her suit and balaclava when she heard the screams. She went over to the entrance, and was terrified at what she saw; aside from the fire, there was a bleeding Chronicle and the RED Pyro has turned to face her. Immediately, she retreated and closed the doors in a state of panic.

Pyroland: Being one who likes to keep things things orderly in "Pyroland", the Pyro walked over to the box and closed the lid, then walked back a few steps before spraying the box with rainbows. As he shortly turned around and skipped away, the blue unicorn ran to the box, but he did not mind.

Taking this chance, the Pyro barred the shed door with his axe, then began to bathe the whole thing in flames. As he then started to turn around, Chronicle was getting up in spite of his head injury. It took all of his willpower to not fall unconscious and have his card render him dying and send him away. And then when he saw the shed on fire, immediately knowing who was there as he heard a scream, abandoning concern for his own safety immediately to that for **hers**.

"**FLUTTERSHY**!", he cried out as he bypassed the RED Pyro, cast a barrier around himself, and busted through the burning wood. Amidst the smoke, he searched for whom he was looking for, found her, scooped her up, then hightailed it out of the shed seconds before it collapsed to the ground.

After setting the EqU Medic down, Chronicle 'took out' his Sandvich and offered it to her, "Here." Coughing a bit from the smoke she had inhaled from the burning shed, she took a bite from it, and could already feel her injuries vanish. Next, she aimed the barrel of her Kritzkrieg to her face, then took a whiff out of its barrel, healing her for a bit more.

Then she noticed the severe wounds on her teammate, gasped at how terrible he looked, then aimed the Kritzkrieg at him, allowing the healing beam to do its work as it closed his wounds and pulled back the lost blood still on his body.

Suddenly, there was a gunshot. The two turned around to see Rarity with her revolver drawn and smoking, and a dead RED Spy.

"We can't stay here, dears.", she said. "There are still a few more REDs to deal with."

"Right.", Chronicle agreed. "I don't know how the Pyro managed to blindside me. I'm surprised I was even blindsided in the first place. I got better instincts for that to happen."

"Um. Rarity's already left. We have to hurry."

He looked around and indeed she was no longer in sight. "Oh no. Let's go."

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Pyroland: As the RED Pyro continued to shoot streams of rainbow mist from his Rainblower, he saw an orange pony with blonde hair and a cowboy hat walking off with a gift box on her back. Upon noticing him, she turned around and set the present down with a smile.

As the RED Pyro continued to spread fire everywhere, he saw Applejack heading away from him, hauling a building of hers. Upon noticing him, she turned around and deployed a Mini-Sentry, then took out her shotgun and fired.

Pyroland: The Pyro opened the present, revealing another lollipop, took it, then showered the orange pony in rainbow mist, magically revealing a white unicorn with a purple styled mane in the process. The two of them fell over laughing.

Before the Mini-Sentry could be deployed quickly, the Pyro smashed it with a spare axe, then set her alight as well as exposing Rarity. Since this was Realism Mode, the fire hurt much more than usual, and even Applejack lost focus as both of them were shortly sent away. And Rarity would have nightmares trying to make sure her hair hasn't suffered serious unrepairable damage.

Pyroland: Thanking them, the Pyro went on his way, then looked up and suddenly saw bubbles headed his way. Loving bubbles, he aimed his Rainblower up and shot a swooshy whirlwind, sending them back at the gray pegasus blonde with yellow crossed-eyes and a marking of seven bubbles on her flank, who was shooting them from her mouth and flying in surprisingly graceful loops.

The Pyro went on his way, then looked up and suddenly saw rockets headed his way. He countered them with his airblast, sending them back to Derpy, who deftly dodged them in spite of her vision and the blinding fire.

Pyroland: Eventually, one bubble burst back on her and she reeled back, gently landing on the ground and rolling on it laughing.

Eventually, one rocket made its way back on her and she reeled back, crashing to the ground. The resulting impact, thanks to Realism Mode, sent her away.

Pyroland: Suddenly, the Pyro heard footsteps behind him, ten turned to see a purple dragon with green spines and holding a lollipop, looking like he wanted to play. Wanting to play too, the Pyro took out his own lollipop and the two jumped at each other.

In spite of the burning everywhere, the Pyro managed to hear footsteps, then turned to see Spike with his gem-on-a-stick, looking furious. Deciding to play along, the Pyro took out his axe and the two charged.

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Having lost track of where the Pyro was, Chronicle and Fluttershy wandered the burning town, the former thankful that the smoke wasn't choking them, and the latter building up an ÜberCharge. They were looking for any remaining allies or REDs to take down when they heard a crash. Immediately, the two of them ran to where it came from…

Pyroland: A purple unicorn appeared in a flash of light and landed in the of the Pyro, who was accompanied by the Balloonicorn, disoriented a bit before looking at the Pyro's Rainblower in fascination. The Pyro was confused for a second, tilting his head, then the Ballonicorn said something, and he helped her up before spraying her with rainbows, making her roll back and laugh.

Twilight Sparkle crashed from a second story building and right at the Pyro's feet, then looked in shock as she saw Spike behind him, lying down and with an axe almost embedded in his head before being sent away by his 'card'. The Pyro aimed his flamethrower at her, tilting his head, then shot it, incinerating her for a good three seconds before she was sent away.

Pyroland: "Hey, Pyro!", a voice came. He turned around to see that next to the little dragon licking his lollipop was a pink pony with a curly mane and tail a marking on her flank depicting three balloons. She held a lollipop in her hooves somehow. "Let's go!" Accepting the game, the RED Pyro skipped forward.

"Hey, Pyro!", a voice came. He turned around to see the EqU Pyro with her fire axe ready. "Let's go!" Accepting the challenge, the RED Pyro charged.

Pyroland: As the rest of the new pony friends RED Pyro made gathered to see the spectacle, the Ballonicorn accompanying them, the two began to clash furiously. Even the dragon paused in his licking and watched as well. The RED Pyro was a little sad that none of the cherubs in blue were here to watch as well.

As Chronicle and Fluttershy arrived at the scene, they saw the scorched sniper rifle on the ground, indicating that Twilight had been claimed by the RED Pyro, then turned to see him and Pinkie Pie clashing with their axes.

Pyroland: The Pyro thought he heard somebody speaking, but shrugged it off as he and the pink pony continued to swing their lollipops at each other, the advantage see-sawing between them.

"Hey, Fluttershy. How's the ÜberCharge?", Chronicle asked as both Pyros swung their axes at each other, the advantage see-sawing between them.

"Just about full."

"Good. Prepare to fire it on Pinkie."

"Why don't…umm…"

"In spite of the flames all around us, I'm actually enjoying this duel they're having. Also, the head gash you healed up earlier was from him. Very painful. Took all my willpower not to faint and get sent away."

Just then, there was a ping. "ÜberCharge is ready." The EqU Heavy gave a knowing smile.

The Pyros continued to fight, although the RED Pyro was clearly gaining the advantage when suddenly the pink pony's lollipop began to crackle with electricity and turn into a fire axe, eliciting gasps from everybody.

After getting close enough, Fluttershy unleashed the ÜberCharge on Pinkie. As the made contact, Pinkie's fire axe crackled with electricity, then transform into…a pink lollipop with a white spiral pattern. This shocked everybody, though Fluttershy managed to maintain her beam.

Pyroland: Pinkie gave a somewhat manic smile, then swung her axe at the RED Pyro's lollipop and smashed it to bits, surprising everybody once again, the RED Pyro most of all.

Behind the mask, Pinkie gave a somewhat manic smile, then swung her lollipop at the RED Pyro's axe…and somehow smashed it to bits, surprising everybody once again, the RED Pyro most of all.

Pyroland: The next thing the pink pony did was take out a light blue cannon with a flower painted on each wheel, got the still-shocked Pyro into it feet first so that he would fly out of it like a certain superhero, then slammed a hoof on the fuse. The result was that out from the cannon came a burst of confetti, balloons, and other party decorations. Along with them was the Pyro flying out of the cannon and into the sky, becoming a twinkle in it shortly after as his new friends cheered him farewell.

Pyroland: The next thing Pinkie did was take out her party cannon, stuff the still-shocked Pyro into it head-first, then slammed a hoof on the fuse. The result was that out from the cannon came a burst of confetti, balloons, and other party decorations. Along with them came an explosion of blood and body parts, as the force from the party cannon literally tore him to pieces. The RED Pyro instantly became decorations for a rather dark party in the burning town, although they quickly burned away due to the flames.

"Victory!", Tasic gave a sigh of relief. Immediately after, Pinkie played air guitar on her lollipop (and making actual guitar sounds, no less), playing a certain tune, which for some reason didn't revert to its fire axe form much to the confusion of Fluttershy and Chronicle, the only other two EqU survivors in this Arena match.

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After the battle…

EqU moved to Dustbowl to rest and recuperate after the fateful battle in the deserted town. At the moment they were parked just outside it and Tasic was looking very cross as he had the nine line up in front of him at the side of the trailer. Jothicu and Thenam stood nearby.

"That was a very, very, terrible performance today.", he said with his arms crossed, then turned to the pony who was also a Story Crew member. "Especially you, Chronicle. I thought you were much better than this!"

"Now that you mention it, I definitely could've done better.", replied the stallion. "It's just that…something strange happened when the RED Pyro got in range. It was like…I can't explain it."

"He was really confusing.", said Pinkie. "When the entire town started going ablaze, the entire place also began to look different, if only for a few moments. It looked a bit like Equestria, but much happier. I would've loved to stay there were it not for the burning town coming back. If I weren't who I was, I might've gone crazy…er."

"Hold on.", Thenam said. "What did this…alternate place look like?"

"Well…" Pinkie put a hoof to her chin. "The land was very colorful. With big flowery meadows, a bright blue sky, giant pudgy kittens floating around, giant lollipops and candy sprouting out of the ground, and a little town full of candy shops and party decorations, although I wasn't able to go there. Also, with the exception of the Pyro and me, nopony had weapons. The rest of RED Team were little babies with wings, chubby bodies, and diapers. As for my friends, they looked like as they were without their gear and the same thing applied for me. There was also somepony singing 'Do You Believe In Magic'. Of course I believe in magic. It's a fundamental part of Equestria and I see it every day."

Both of Tasic's companions put a hand to their faces, thought not from Pinkie getting distracted. "Oh dear. The RED Pyro had been seeing Pyroland.", said Jothicu.

"Pyroland?", Twilight asked.

"It's how the RED and BLU Pyros sometimes see the world through their eyes. And we just so happen to have a collection of goggles that will help you guys see what they see." Thenam went inside the trailer for a bit. A few seconds later, he came out with a bunch of them cradled in his arms.

"Are those…", Fluttershy began.

"Yes, they are. I just didn't tell you what exactly you were looking at when I gave you these during some of the Halloween fights." Thenam turned to the rest. "These are called Pyrovision Goggles. You will not see exactly what they Pyro sees so as not to completely disorient you in battle. The place will generally look like what it really looks like in the real world, just with the bright colors, and a few what we call 'censors'. Better yet, why don't we test it out?"

As he passed the items around, they took a look at what they were like before putting them on. The goggles had round lenses and the term "Optical Mask" was printed in between them, reminiscent of the Pyro's mask. When Spike cast a shadow over the lenses with his hand, he saw that they also glow in the dark. Everyone could also see strange things reflected on the lenses.

"Oh, right. I think it'd be better to test it on the field. It doesn't affect just your vision, but what you hear as well. I can tell that At first I worried that Pinkie would never leave should she visit it, but…let's try it."

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nightelf37: And that's it for now.

Chronicle: "Huh? You're not gonna look into their experience of Pyroland?"

nightelf37: I thought I'd be taking the chapter too far like I did with Saxton Hale. The "baby Scout" is a shout out to ChaosAndMayhem's "Eight Mercenaries And a Toddler" Go check it out. It's great! See ya on Third!

Chronicle: Hey!


	20. The Demoman's Castle

The day after the bout with Saxton Hale…

Somewhere in Mann's Land, two large vehicles zoomed down the wide road side by side. One of them was a midnight blue semi, whose compartment sides bore not only a few windows, but also an insignia of sorts consisting of a crescent moon tilted so that its tips were pointed upward. A narrow spire coming from the middle passed behind a cyan star in the middle. A pair of wings of the same color were at the sides of the crescent moon. In front of these words in "Generation B" "font" were the words "Luna's U████████ Nocturnal Alliance".

(A/N: Of course, it doesn't actually say that, but I couldn't figure out an appropriate "U" word.)

The other was a plain-colored trailer, the sort a family would use for cross-state trips, and on its sides was an insignia composed of two pair of wings, a blue-orange-red circle with a horn and a cyan star on top of it. The lower wings were orange, symbolizing daytime, while the ones in the middle had the same color as the star, reflecting nighttime. In front of these words in "Celestia Medium" "font" were the words "Equestria Union".

Suddenly, the trailer's window facing the semi's opened and a certain book was tossed out of it, entering the semi's and conking somepony on the head.

Inside the EqU trailer, Twilight Sparkle—who had thrown out that book—was fuming with rage, fortunately not to the point where her hair would turn into fire. Thankfully, it didn't catch everypony's attention as the vehicle had been modified to have the same bigger-on-the-inside properties as the LUNA semi, so the outcry didn't reach everypony else's new rooms.

"I liked that book!", complained Jothicu, who had lent it to her when she asked curiously.

Rarity was there as well, hearing the argument and having skimmed it once before before giving up in disgust. "How could you like such…such…", she replied, unable to say the words.

"Hey, everybody's entitled to their opinion, okay? I have a thing for vampires, you know."

"But other than a desire for blood, being able to turn others into their own kind, being physically better than a normal pony or person, and a very long life, they're **not** vampires!", the bookworm retorted.

"Those are pretty much textbook definitions of vampires, Twilight." Jothicu then thought to himself, "Wait, there are vampires in Equestria?"

"But they don't have any telltale signs apart from paleness, or any weaknesses to fire, silver, garlic, or even sunlight. And the fact that they sparkle…Arrrgh!" Jothicu was about to make a quip when he was cut off. "And I get that my name reminds you of the book, so don't even think about it!"

Just then, Blue Diary popped his head out of the semi's window, his bedroom having been there. He then pulled out the book that was thrown and tossed it back through the trailer's window. This caught the attention of EqU's medical researcher, Sniper, and Spy. "Could you please keep it down? It's noon right now, and I need to get my rest."

"Hey, who's that up ahead?", wondered Tasic as he drove the trailer, his voice heard through the internal PA system.

Inside the semi itself, between the driver's and passenger's seat (where Tony and Joey were seated respectively), a door between it and the cargo box behind opened and Blue walked out to see what his fellow members were seeing. Jothicu refrained Twilight from peeking out as they didn't want to expose the ponies to anybody else other than just Mann Co.

In the middle of the road was a lone figure in a ratty black cape. As they approached, they could see that the man looked old, scrawny, and wore the skull of a demonic ram-like monster (if not an actual ram) on his head. As they slowly approached him, they also saw he was also dressed in blackish blue sleeveless robes and long boots. On his right hand was a crooked wooden staff that seemed to have something keeping it together around the middle.

This man then made a gesture as if directing the drivers to stop. Deciding it would be rude to ignore him, both Tasic and Tony complied, slowing their vehicles to a stop. Once they did, the drivers took a better look at the man. From what could see, he also had something like a messenger's bag colored like his robe that was slung across his chest, two dead fish on his belt, and that the staff was held together by duct tape.

"Umm…can we help you, sir?", Joey asked as he poked his head out of the window. Just in case, Blue backed off so as not to be seen.

"I…am…Merasmus!", the man unfurled his cape in a dramatic manner.

If there were crickets around, they would've started chirping. Somewhere inside the EqU trailer, a cricket brought along by Pinkie Pie chirped, although only she noticed it.

"…Okay.", responded the LUNA medical researcher.

"I sense…powerful magic inside your transports."

"And…"

"I wish to see them."

"And what gives you the right to do that?"

In response, Merasmus aimed his staff and it began to glow in an eerie green aura.

"Crap." Neither Joey nor Tony had any weapons on them at the moment and they berated themselves for forgetting.

Just then, Trixie Lulamoon (without her hat and cape) walked through the door between the compartment and the semi, rubbing off eye bags and letting out a yawn. "I thought you said there were no other sources of magic in this world other than—"

"BAZBO BADARBA!", Merasmus incanted, then fired a bolt of energy—at the EqU trailer. Tasic was caught off guard from this as the green aura engulfed the entire vehicle. Sensing the magic, Twilight instinctively attempted to counteract it, but the spell was too strong and too fast. All of a sudden, there was a flash of light that engulfed the entire trailer, also waking up everybody inside it, before it faded, leaving Merasmus and the LUNA semi in the middle of the road.

There was a few moments of silence before somebody spoke up. It was Tony. "What the hell did you just do?!", he demanded.

"I sent them to the **past**, where I also sent the RED Team, and where—" He stopped short upon seeing Trixie and Blue look through the windshield, then gave a smirk. "I see. So that's where it's coming from."

EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2

The EqU trailer emerged in a flash of green light. With the flash having awoken everyone, most of them exited the trailer to take a look at their surroundings. From what Tasic could deduce as he got out of the trailer, they were in what seemed to be a small camp surrounded by palisade walls. Behind the camp was an archery range and a path leading into the forest behind it. Upon exiting the camp, the EqU members could see a large stone castle a short distance away. It wasn't nearly as elegant as Canterlot Castle or what the ancient castle of the royal pony sisters would've been like, but impressive regardless.

Next to the castle was a town that reminded the Equestrians of Ponyville, although the roofs weren't made of thatch but of tile. They also noticed that a green force field surrounded the EqU trailer and the immediate area.

"Where is this place?", Twilight wondered as they passed the barrier without any hitch, soon cresting the hill up ahead and seeing the castle's gates. There was a tree, fence, and large rock at the brow of the hill they were on. There were also two flaming braziers in sight.

Before she could be answered, a familiar voice called out to them. "Hello, Frauleins!" They all turned to see the RED Medic standing on one of the castle's battlements, waving at them in the distance. They could see that he was wearing a slightly worn gray and red sallet helmet, with a cross-shaped eye slit, the Berliner's Bucket Helm, which was available in the Customizer. Luckily, he could only see the ponies and the baby dragon; Tasic was hidden in the 'camp'.

"Oi! What's goin' on, mate?!", another voice came. The RED Sniper came into view, wearing the Larrikin Robin on his head.

"We have company.", the Medic replied as he pointed at the trailer and the ponies near it.

"Well, I'll be…" He then turned around and yelled, "Hey, mates! We got company!"

In seconds, the entire RED Team came into view, some of them wearing hats that seemed to be themed to their surroundings, although one did look a bit out of place. The Soldier wore a helmet similar to what pegasi from times of old have worn, though it was gold and the crest was red, the Defiant Spartan hat. The Pyro had a cracked skull (that reminded the Equestrians sans Derpy of a full grown dragon's) missing its jawbone and the right horn, covering the front of his gas mask, the Pyromancer's Mask. The Heavy had the Magnificent Mongolian, a fur-lined red winter hat with a beige central apex, simple design, and a back flap. The Scout had no hat at all, revealing a buzz cut. The Engineer had in place of his hardhat a long, blonde mullet wig called Big Country. As for the Demoman, he wore a gold royal crown embedded with rubies.

With the exception of the Sniper, who had the Huntsman, none of the REDs wielded any of their guns.

"May I welcome ya all to DeGroot Keep.", the RED Demoman called as he brandished the Eyelander. "It looks like ye art sent here by Merasmus the Magician, aye?"

Chronicle decided to humor them and requested Pinkie for a megaphone, which she indeed happened to have. He then 'put' it over his mouth and called back, "And if we are?"

"Then thou art here to do battle with us, what sayeth thee?"

"Is it just me, or is the RED Demoman speaking like Princess Luna?", Twilight wondered to herself.

"Do we have a choice in the matter?", replied her bodyguard to the RED Demoman, ignoring his charge.

"Nay, I say! And whilst thou art here, there will be no totin' of any guns!"

"And why, might I ask?"

"'Cause we are in the 10th century, pardner!", the RED Engineer answered. "There ain't no tellin' what time paradoxes or butterfly effects we might cause!" He was promptly smacked by his black teammate, who then gave a seething reminder on how they were supposed to speak.

"10th century?", asked Spike.

"He means Merasmus sent us into the past of this world.", Tasic said as he crept up to the Equestrians, keeping himself out of the RED team's view. "We're supposed to be in this world's 20th century."

"We shall do battle at midday.", the Demoman said. "Highlander match!"

"Highlander match?", parroted the EqU Heavy.

"It means just the nine of us against the nine of ye. No duplicates, ya hear?!"

"I hear you!"

"Ye best be prepared, I sayeth! Good day!" And with that, he turned around and disappeared from sight, followed shortly by the rest of the team.

Once they were gone, Tasic turned to the sun, deduced that it would be at least two hours before then, turned back to the Equestrians as they all walked back to the trailer, and spoke up, "Looks like we got another battle on our hands and hooves. And if what the RED Demoman said is true, you'll have to wait while we figure out what limits have to be applied on your Customizers while we're here."

"Why wait?", Rainbow Dash asked as she tapped her card, immediately donning her Scout gear. Instantly, the force field flashed and she was pulled into its bounds. This caught her off guard and she crashed into the grass. She then got up flew for the castle again…and she passed through the force field, only for it to flash as it kept her from taking the scattergun with her and the pistol beside her. This sudden resistance made her slip and she crashed into the grass again.

"That's why.", Chronicle answered for his fellow member as the others entered the barrier's bounds. "This barrier is obviously keeping in our out certain things."

The barrier flashed again and everyone turned to see Pinkie now in her Pyro uniform tapping her flamethrower on it. She then dropped her weapon and hopped across the force field and it didn't stop her. However, when she then pulled out her flare gun literally out of nowhere with her strange abilities, it reacted in a flash and 'pulled' it from her mechanical arm's grip.

"This barrier is strange.", Thenam commented as he exited the trailer. "It keeps out guns, yet it allows the mech-arm to pass through. I presumed it would've kept out any piece of tech far ahead of this time period."

"We'll have to test this out.", Jothicu mused as he exited the trailer as well. "Guys, we'll have to find out what goes through this force field and what doesn't. He said guns are not allowed, but what else will this barrier keep out?"

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After a couple of minutes, EqU finally figured out what was allowed and what wasn't. Every hat and miscellaneous item passed just fine, and so did their uniforms (not that going out without clothes was a problem for the ponies and baby dragon). Rarity's PDA and watches passed, but the Jarate didn't, not that that disappointed Twilight. Unfortunately, as it was technically a gun, the Medi Gun and its variants obviously didn't pass through either.

Just before Fluttershy could use this as an excuse to get out of the conflict, Thenam cut her off. "Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah. I got some stuff for you. Now please tap your card and get into gear." The yellow pegasus complied and upon donning the Medic uniform, she saw that her mech-arms were now holding two new items.

One of them was a wooden crossbow with a metal barrel attached to a yellow canister. The Medic class icon was present on both the canister and the frame of the crossbow. The other was a saw with angular edges and a distinct yellow handle with an arrowhead-like extension near the top and the Medic class icon in the center.

"May I present you the Crusader's Crossbow and the Amputator.", Thenam stated, then gestured on Fluttershy's new primary weapon. "This will be your new means of healing your teammates. If you're worried about crossbow bolts sticking out of your friends' bodies, I modified the canister so that it shoots energy beams instead that work the same way. Unfortunately, they can still be reflected by an enemy Pyro's airblast and if they manage to bounce it on one of their teammates, it will heal instead of harm them." He decided not to mention that more healing/damage can be done the farther the arrow flies; it wouldn't do for her to stand back like a coward while helping her friends. He then gestured the new melee weapon. "The Amputator is basically like the Bonesaw, but it does something else that's beneficial. You know how the special taunts work, right?"

Fluttershy nodded in response. "Uh-huh. There's the Home Run for the Scout, the Pyro's Ha-doo-ken, the Spy's Fencing, the Eureka Effect teleporting the Engineer back to base good as new…"

"And there's the Spinal Tap from the Übersaw, I think I got a video of Lyra performing it during a simulation battle." Of course, he didn't mean the Lyra Heartstrings she was familiar with back home, but another who was the Element of Loyalty in a different Equestria and in team LUNA as their Medic. "There's also the Oktoberfest from the Kritzkrieg, just take a whiff and you'll feel a bit better after a wound. Now, where was I?"

"Umm, you were about to talk about the…Amputator's…special taunt."

"Right, that. You see, by playing it like it were a violin, you perform the Medicating Melody. Defying logic, a melody is played that projects a soothing aura on yourself and any teammates within a certain radius and your sight and causes all of you to emit a glow around your feet. Not sure what shows while you or any of your friends are in the air though. Go on. Try it."

"But I don't even know how to play the violin."

"Don't worry." Thenam then offered her a violin bow and pointed at Fluttershy's friends. "Just picture yourself doing it and try. Trust me."

She took the bow, which stuck on her hoof when she willed it to, then assumed a stance she barely recalled from one of the violinists at the Grand Galloping Gala (which she had glimpsed before heading to the garden), then stated to "play". The bow, which was actually a special piece of tech, interacted with the special properties of the Amputator and Fluttershy found herself playing a tune she once sang to herself and playing it almost like a natural.

Instead of a circle around their feet, a butterfly shape in the form of the EqU Medic's cutie mark appeared, and the taunt's targets paused in whatever they were doing as they noticed and felt the healing effects. For those in the air, like Derpy and Rainbow, the shape formed right underneath their feet mid-air. Everyone turned to Fluttershy, who just stopped "playing", and one by one they applauded.

"I felt like the Medi Gun had been used on me.", Twilight commented.

"That's the power of the Amputator's Medicating Melody.", Thenam explained. "It's not advisable to just stand by and listen, though; it's an alternate healing measure apart from the Crusader's Crossbow since the Medi Guns are not available while we're here." He turned to the EqU Medic. "And another thing; neither of those weapons build up the ÜberCharge meter; only the Medi Guns and the Übersaw can do that, and the latter requires you to attack with it, which I know you wouldn't dream of doing if you can help it." The tech manager then turned to the others. "Thanks to our collaboration with LUNA, I got some more new weapons for you guys to use."

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EqU Team

Rainbow Dash's Loadout:

1° Weapon - None  
2° Weapon - Mad Milk  
Melee Weapon - Candy Cane  
Hat - _Purely Polychromatic_ (no hat)  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Derpy Hooves's Loadout:

1° Weapon - None  
2° Weapon - _Royal Canterlot Hallmark  
_Melee Weapon - Pain Train  
Hat - _Ditzy Blonde_ (no hat)  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Pinkie Pie's Loadout:

1° Weapon - _Party Cannon_ (only for Medieval Mode)  
2° Weapon - None  
Melee Weapon - Sharpened Volcano Fragment  
Hat - Madame Dixie  
Misc. Item 1 - Marxman (colored Pink As Hell)  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Spike's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Ali Baba's Wee Booties (_Fire Breath_)  
2° Weapon - Chargin' Targe  
Melee Weapon - _Hero's Lance  
_Hat - None  
Misc. Item 1 - _Element of Loyalty  
_Misc. Item 2 - None

Chronicle's Loadout:

1° Weapon - _Magic Shot  
_2° Weapon - Sandvich  
Melee Weapon - _Magic Horn Blade_ (_Speedy Shoes_)  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Applejack's Loadout:

1° Weapon - None  
2° Weapon - _The Rodeo Wrangler  
_Melee Weapon - Southern Hospitality  
Hat - Texas Ten Gallon (colored Muskelmannbraun)  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Fluttershy's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Crusader's Crossbow  
2° Weapon - None  
Melee Weapon - Amputator  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Twilight Sparkle's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Huntsman  
2° Weapon - _Dragon Shield_ (works like Darwin's Danger Shield) (_Magic Shot_)  
Melee Weapon - Bushwacka  
Hat - _Streaks of Purple_ (no hat)  
Misc. Item 1 - Villain's Veil (colored A Deep Commitment to Purple)  
Misc. Item 2 - Triad Trinket (colored A Deep Commitment to Purple)

Rarity's Loadout:

2° Weapon - _Magic Shot_  
2° PDA - Dead Ringer  
Melee Weapon - Conniver's Kunai  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Team

RED Scout's Loadout:

1° Weapon - None  
2° Weapon - Bonk! Atomic Punch  
Melee Weapon - Sandman  
Hat - Baseball Bill's Sports Shine (no hat)  
Misc. Item 1 - Bonk Boy  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Soldier's Loadout:

1° Weapon - None  
2° Weapon - Concheror  
Melee Weapon - Equalizer  
Hat - Defiant Spartan  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Pyro's Loadout:

1° Weapon - None  
2° Weapon - None  
Melee Weapon - Back Scratcher  
Hat - Pyromancer's Mask  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Demoman's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Ali Baba's Wee Booties  
2° Weapon - Chargin' Targe  
Melee Weapon - Persian Persuader  
Hat - Prince Tavish's Crown  
Misc. Item 1 - King of Scotland Cape  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Heavy's Loadout:

1° Weapon - None  
2° Weapon - Buffalo Steak Sandvich  
Melee Weapon - Killing Gloves of Boxing  
Hat - Magnificent Mongolian  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Engineer's Loadout:

1° Weapon - None  
2° Weapon - None  
Melee Weapon - Gunslinger  
Hat - Big Country (Nelson Style)  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Medic's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Crusader's Crossbow  
2° Weapon - None  
Melee Weapon - Amputator  
Hat - Berliner's Bucket Helm  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Sniper's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Huntsman  
2° Weapon - Darwin's Danger Shield  
Melee Weapon - Bushwacka  
Hat - Larrikin Robin  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Spy's Loadout:

2° Weapon - None  
2° PDA - Cloak and Dagger  
Melee Weapon - Spy-cicle  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2

The EqU team readied themselves while Tasic managed to move the trailer to the archery range, where the green force field followed. RED (and BLU) hasn't figured out yet that there were humans helping out the ponies and baby dragon and they weren't about to figure it out anytime soon.

"Okay. Here's the victory condition.", Tasic explained through the comms system. "As the attacking team, you're supposed to capture the control point in the castle within five minutes. The defending team's task is to prevent you from doing that. But to open the gate or even capture the point, you'll have to capture the control points to the sides of the castle. The gate will then open for a minute. It will close again when the timer runs out and any capture progress is cleared. You will also need to recapture the two points before you can try again."

"Mission begins in sixty seconds!", a familiar voice came.

"Hold on a second.", Pinkie realized. "Is that the meanie-pants Administrator?"

"Yes, although they're just recorded messages coming from speakers hidden from our view.", Tasic said.

"It's weird of me to say this, but I'm starting to think we aren't actually in the past.", Derpy said.

"I'm starting to think so too. Jothicu's out checking the area. Anyway, the torches you see can be used for Snipers to set their arrows alight. Fire arrows will set ablaze anyone it hits."

"I'll be sure to keep that in mind.", Twilight said as she fidgeted a bit to make sure her Dragon Shield was secure. The Dragon Shield was a cluster of giant dragon (not Equestrian dragon) scales stretched over a wooden frame. Basically a counterpart of the Sniper's Darwin's Danger Shield, which had a stretched crocodile hide. She wasn't comfortable with wearing an animal's skin, so Thenam made this one.

"Spike, you can use your shield's special charge to get to the castle's battlements by running on the large rock as a ramp. I still advise against going on your own, though."

"All right.", the dragon replied.

"Mission begins in thirty seconds!", the Administrator's voice came.

"To all pegasi, if your back's to the sun and you're in the sky, the glare can affect your enemies' aim. Since the Crusader's Crossbow and the Huntsman are the only things that can shoot you around here, it will help a lot."

"Got it!", affirmed Rainbow as she swung her Candy Cane, an oversized, white-and-red candy cane with a like-colored ribbon wrapped around it in a double-looped parallel bow.

"To all unicorns, you are permitted to cast the magic shot spell, but you have a set limit before the card will bar you from using the spell. You can reset the limit by going to ammo pickups. Clear?"

"As crystal.", replied Rarity.

"Mission begins in ten seconds!", the Administrator's voice came.

"Remember that this is a highlander match, so I'm not allowed to deploy clones, okay?", advised Thenam. "Respawn is still open, as always. Now get ready."

"Five! Four! Three! Two! One!"

On cue, the EqU team exited the camp, Rainbow and Derpy opting to go over the wall followed a second later by Fluttershy while the rest went through the exit closest to the castle. No REDs have entered their line of sight, but they knew they were coming.

Upon seeing the large rock, Spike grinned and activated his shield's effect, boosting him forward and up the rock, the velocity of his charge coupled by his skates sending him right for the battlements.

"Dammit! Rainbow Dash! Support him!", Chronicle said as he activated his new footwear by unsheathing his "magic horn blade". They were a set of large, padded galoshes, like the ones from Applejack's tacky dress. They were designed with flame decals and orange rings. The boots emitted a blue hue like his own aura and he began to speed up, although from what Thenam told him his attacks would be weaker and attacks on him would be stronger. Basically speaking, it was a "pony counterpart" for the Heavy's Gloves of Running Urgently.

"Hey!", Pinkie called as Rainbow went after Spike, who had promptly crashed on the Heavy. "Want me to provide some cover fire?"

"Pinkie you can't—" He stopped short when she took out her party cannon, procured a cannonball, then loaded it. "Okay. Go!" The EqU Pyro fired the cannon and the projectile made its way to a Pyro that happened to get in the way.

"Aaaggh!", gasped the Scout. "Since when did they got artillery?!"

"It's that pink menace!", growled the Soldier before jumping down to confront the invading ponies. Meanwhile, the Heavy was trying in vain to land a hit on Spike. In hindsight, the KGB probably isn't the best weapon to use on such a tiny baby dragon who had a weapon with a long reach. And he was soon taken down, giving Spike a "bonus" as he went down the stairs and found the Sniper drawing back an arrow from the Huntsman.

Upon seeing the EqU Demoman, the Sniper quickly turned and fired the arrow, which struck him on the head, but bounced off. Still, it hurt for Spike and his card treated the damage accordingly; that means even if it didn't hurt as much, the card calculates it just like if it were done on somebody not as sturdy as him.

The force of the arrow knocked him back of course, but not for long as he quickly recovered and drove the Hero's Lance into the Sniper's gut. The instant the Sniper died, a light burst from where his heart should be and made its way into the lance.

EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2

Back outside, Twilight was taking advantage of the outdoor torches to shoot a few fire arrows at the oncoming REDs as she covered for Applejack, Rarity, and Derpy as they made their way to the capture point on the right while Chronicle led Pinkie and Fluttershy to the capture point at the left.

As the EqU Heavy, Pyro, and Medic reached the point, they saw the RED Demoman already there, accompanied with the Medic and Soldier.

"The carrot top-blondie's mine!", the one-eyed mercenary declared, curiously wielding not the Eyelander but a different sword. It was a scimitar with a brass hilt and a bloodied blade, the Persian Persuader. The other two REDs nodded as they went for the girls.

The two sides clashed on the control point. Magic-formed blade met not-cursed blade. Psychotically-swung saw met reluctantly-brought-up saw. And pickaxe met—the party cannon.

"Wha—?", the Soldier could only gasp at the grinning Pinkie (not that he can see it due to the mask) before being blasted into the wall, not killed on impact as she had forgotten to load a cannonball and it instead fired party regalia.

The sound of the blast distracted the RED Medic long enough for Fluttershy to push him off, get away, and fire her crossbow, which her counterpart began to do as well, firing on their teammates and/or enemies. Meanwhile, as the two blade wielders continued to clash blades, the RED Demoman was hit and set on fire; He was attacked from behind by Pinkie's Sharpened Volcano Fragment. This gave Chronicle enough time to strike at him, then an energy bolt from Fluttershy finished him off.

The Sharpened Volcano Fragment was an obsidian axe with a glowing secret chemical flowing along the blade's extreme edges. It was not lava as was advertised or everybody would've been fried by now and it wouldn't have held together in the first place; however, the secret chemical gave off a set-on-fire upon contact.

The RED Medic immediately aimed for the Soldier, and tried to shoot him back to health, only to fail because of the Equalizer ("Dummkopf!", he swore) and shortly went down thanks to his EqU counterpart.

"Good shot.", Chronicle complimented her.

Just then, they heard the cracking of knuckles, and turned to see the crazed patriot take a grenade off of his chest sling, thrust his fist in the air, and say, "C'mere, cupcake!"

Realizing what was about to happen, having experienced it before in one battle against BLU, Pinkie pushed Fluttershy out of range just as the point was captured. The grenade exploded, killing the Soldier and sending away the EqU Pyro and Heavy to the limbo room.

Erstwhile, Applejack, Rarity, and Derpy made it to the other control point, only to confront the RED Scout and Engineer there.

"C'mon, tough guy! Uh, girl!", said the Scout.

"You and me, hoss.", dared the Engineer.

"Bring it!", Applejack accepted.

Insulted from what the Engineer said, Rarity accepted as well. "Oh, it is on!" The two of them charged, followed shortly by Derpy. All of them now stood on the point.

While everyone else prepared their melee weapons, the farmpony took out a new 'secondary weapon'. It was The Rodeo Wrangler, a lasso, but ordinary only on the outside. Regardless of her actual skill, the Rodeo Wrangler will immediately guarantee a catch if aimed right and will prevent the target from being able to escape or leave his arms open in the case of an enemy.

Appplejack snagged the Scout, pulled him in, and delivered a buck to the gut. Derpy followed up with a whack of the Pain Train, which was a broken wooden handle with dark tape, outfitted with a large railroad stake and several bent nails stuck in the top.

As for Rarity, she just managed to parry the Engineer's cybernetic hand with a shove of telekinesis, and—with her magic's extra reach an arm can't do—finished him with a backstab… only to get a backstab herself from the RED Spy. The Spy-cicle coated a ragdoll of the EqU Spy that was left behind in a thick coating of ice, while the real one was feeling the shivers in the limbo room, not to mention complaining about the cold's effects on her hair. She didn't bring out the Dead Ringer fast enough.

"Ah, so that's how you do it.", the maroon-clad assassin whispered to himself, now getting the mystery behind the 'ranged backstabs'.

Although the kill was silent, Derpy's derped eyes caught sight of the attack and she immediately went straight for him. The Spy managed to see her coming, endured one hit from the Pain Train, then vanished from view, dodged a wild swing, and stepped away, stopping when his cloak was just about to run out.

Once Applejack had managed to take down the Scout (after remembering that she somehow can't hogtie with the Rodeo Wrangler), the point was captured shortly. Upon that, the gates opened.

"All right!", she whooped, then turned and gasped upon seeing a frozen Rarity, forgetting that the real one is in the limbo room. "Rarity!"

(A/N: Dammit, stop with the puns!

That was just the first one!

Shut up!

Sorry.)

"I'm fine. I'll be back in a few seconds, dear.", said her friend through the comms system, though distress could be heard in her voice.

"Looks like the Spy's got the Spy-cicle.", mused Tasic. "Normally, it would leave someone frozen, but our cards save you from that. It's just that Thenam also made them leave ragdolls at certain—oh, wait. Why am I explaining it to you?" He then whispered, "You're no tech whiz or any level of tech-wise."

"I heard that!", retorted the farmpony.

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Back in the keep, Spike had managed to hold his own quite well thanks to Rainbow's support as they fended off the REDs that went for them even as they made their way down to the control point, where they were unfortunately out in the open, especially as crossbow bolts and arrows started to rain on them.

Just then as they retreated to the gates, those started to open; the two control points have been captured. They could see Twilight headed their way and she approached them.

"Twilight!", Spike greeted.

Rainbow however was suspicious. "Wait a second.", she whispered. By impulse, she quickly smacked her friend…and she flickered red; it was the RED Spy. If it were really Twilight, the FFPS would've made the hit a mere glancing blow.

"Mer—", the Spy swore just before he was smacked gain before he could even react. A few more smacks later and he was dead, leaving two health packs behind, one of which she picked up and the other she left for Spike. As the dragon collected his pick-me-up, he saw the real Twilight come over, Huntsman on the ready (this he knew was the real deal), and accompanied by Rarity, Pinkie, and Chronicle.

"Come on, guys!", Rainbow called as she waved them on.

"So it comes to this, I sayeth!", they heard the Demoman call out. All heads turned to see him in the center of the castle courtyard. The one-eyed swordsman stood there, having switched back to the Eyelander. The other REDs stood around him, although the Spy couldn't be seen, having been recently killed and will be respawning in a few seconds. Rarity kept a critical eye up while Derpy escaped notice as she flew off somewhere to attack from another angle.

"So it has.", Chronicle stated.

"Know that takin' the point will no' be easy! This fort will not be taken ye ponies, or my name ain't Tavsh DeGroot!", he then let out a battle cry. "Huzzah!" Immediately, the other REDs (except for the Heavy, who took a bite out of his slab of raw rib-eyed steak) went in on the attack and so did the rest of EqU (starting with a tossed Mad Milk) save for their Heavy, Sniper, and Demoman.

"That's it!", Twilight declared as she flared her horn. "I will not tolerate that any longer."

_She's taking offense to how the Demoman's speaking in the old-fashioned way Princess Luna used to do._, Chronicle thought.

A magic shot was fired, but the Demoman deflected it somehow, surprising her. "This blade is cursed, lass! I can match yer sorcery!"

Twilight growled at this. While he was wrong on that regard, her card inhibits her magical power and abilities for mysterious reasons. A stronger blast would've knocked the sword away, cursed or not. Still, it protects her from suffering death, something she would not wish to experience anytime in the near future. She and her bodyguard decided to bypass him, but the RED Demoman moved in to get in their way, only for Spike to force the princely-dressed mercenary back.

"I'll handle this!", he declared as he thrust his lance forward.

"The tiny drake fancies himself a knight, eh?", taunted the RED Demoman as he drew back. It was the crown prince Tavish against the pony-allied dragonling. "While the lance normally bests the sword, ye are short in stature, and are young of age, verily!"

Spike was furious at this and engaged the one-eyed Scotsman in battle. To them, everything else was a blur. It was up to their teammates to handle the capture/defense of the final control point.

Applejack went straight for the Heavy, who prepped his KGB and swung them at her, but even she was too fast for him. She evaded one swung fist, then made a swing with the wrench before following up with a buck, sending him off to the side and into a wall with a window above, which Derpy jumped off of to bring down the Pain Train on his head.

The RED Medic was—while also patching up his teammates—trying to shoot down Fluttershy, who was doing the same, though more on helping her teammates than hurting her counterpart or his teammates, though she did not have any regrets when she made those hits. As both of them strafed one another's attacks, the EqU Medic suddenly found herself out of ammunition and—remembering the ammo boxes—made her way into the castle halls, her RED counterpart deciding not to follow her and concentrate on the others.

She found one (as well as a steak-shaped heath pickup she wasn't willing to pick up) at an area overlooking the right side, where she could drop down to the courtyard below. Just as she went to the box and replenished her 'crossbow bolts' on contact with it, she felt something step on her tail. Normally, she would do nothing but be a little miffed, but given the current circumstances and position, she swiftly turned around…and brought up her Amputator to block the RED Spy's Spy-cicle.

The well-dressed assassin gave a chuckle as he withdrew his arm. "Peek-a-boo!", he teased. Whoever comes out of this alive in this fight matters not to him. If he takes her out, good. If **she** takes **him** out, the breakdown that would follow would deny EqU their healer. Still, that doesn't mean he'll go easy. Unfortunately, even Fluttershy was (well, has become) above this childish execution of the prank and did not yelp in fright.

Knowing that turning around to flee would spell doom because she would expose her back (not to mention not knowing if she can fly fast enough to get her tail out of the Spy's foot), she slammed the flat end of the saw onto his face, forcing him to jerk back—and free her tail from his foot. Then she—still facing the Spy—pulled away from him, picking up the health pickup (which thankfully didn't give her any taste of meat in her mouth), drew her crossbow, and fired, landing two bolts before he vanished from sight.

Meanwhile, the two Demomen decided to break off from their one-on-one and started zipping around the battlefield with their shield's charging effects, plowing through each others' teammates and taking them down. This began to irk both teams, especially EqU as their allotted minute was running out, although the point was already in the process of being captured by Twilight, who shortly found herself contending with the RED Sniper in a Bushwacka clash.

In the middle of this swordfight however, a baseball conked the EqU Sniper on the head, and her RED counterpart took this chance to cut her down. Well, before he could get a good enough gash into her body, she disappeared in a white light; she was sent away. The lanky Australian turned to see the RED Scout headed his way to pick up his baseball.

"Thanks, mate!", he said to the speedster, who gave a tip of his hat in reply as the Scout found it, but he didn't pick it up. In an instant, he drew his hand in the form of a finger gun, just as the Heavy often does, and fired a blue gem-shaped energy projectile. As the shot hit the Sniper's hand and disarmed him, the 'Scout' swiftly dissolved into Rarity, who then quickly drew her knife, and performed two quick slashes at him with it before ending with a thrust, executing the Fencing taunt, and freeing the point of REDs.

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Meanwhile, the real RED Scout—who indeed smacked Twilight on the head with his Sandman's baseball, but had to dodge a charge from Spike and soon had a new ball spawned—was evading his EqU counterpart as she flew above him. He had since outgrown his crying over rainbows, or at least this particular one as she hurled a jar of Mad Milk at him. He evaded it as it slammed onto the RED Engineer's back as he attempted to contend with the craziness that was Pinkie Pie.

Suddenly, the toymaker had an idea. It was insane, maybe more so than a Sentry jump, but given the circumstances… The Engineer pulled a rip-cord from his mechanical prosthetic, revving the hand of his Gunslinger up to vicious speeds, and then turned around and thrust it into Pinkie, who was about to bring down her axe on him. The mech-hand stunned her solid before he withdrew the hand, after which she was sent away in a most spectacular manner. Instead of the usual vanish into white light and disappear, she vanished into white light—which then exploded like a firework without the hurting part, then made a second explosion.

"Take it like a mare, cutie!", he said afterward, then pondered to himself. "Double explosion, huh?" He then got an arrow to the head, and he cursed himself for not wearing his helmet, not that it would've helped anyway for some reason. Groaning, he turned and saw Twilight Sparkle back in action. As it turns out, after respawning, she did a series of short-range teleports (a single-long range one not available for her due to her card). She let loose another Huntsman arrow, but he managed to dodge this one. However, a hit from Derpy's Pain Train finished him off.

Once the blow connected, she knew it was time. Switching to the Hallmark, Derpy blew its trumpet and it started to affect EqU. Unfortunately, the RED Soldier had his Concheror ready as well and blew through the shell, its effects on his team already establishing themselves. RED attacks were now healing thanks to the Concheror, but were reduced to half efficiency thanks to the Royal Canterlot Hallmark.

Meanwhile, Spike and the RED Demoman had clashed weapons again while the RED Spy sneaked into the point to take out his EqU counterpart. He was followed by Pinkie Pie (not that she knew it), who was followed by the RED Pyro. With the control point being close to capture, just about everybody eventually started to head there, attacking each other in the process. The only exceptions were the Scotsman and the dragon, who were still at each others' throats as the former struggled to land a hit and was on the defensive. As it was, the short stature was an advantage, and Spike had considerable strength.

The RED Demoman was parrying thrust after thrust and oftentimes enough so that he has an opening. However, he kept swinging his blade just above Spike's head, brushing it against his head spines. Spike on the other hand was feeling a little more confident, having felt a little afraid to engage in extended close combat with anybody until now.

Due to the close range nature of what would soon be dubbed "Medieval Mode" and the height of the ponies, there were plenty of go-under-the-legs-and-trip-them-ups inflicted on the REDs, but these mercenaries weren't about to allow themselves to lose (yet again) to a bunch of pastel-colored equines. And the fact that they could also either fly or poke them with their horns if they're not casting spells isn't helping the REDs either. Well, the horn-poking was mostly accidental, but that was not the point. The control point is.

(A/N: We all know that.

What about the ones who don't?

They don't deserve to be reading this, then!

Right. Sorry.)

While the RED Engineer was getting the bronco treatment from Applejack, he managed to backhand Chronicle in the face as he tried to lead the RED Heavy to a trap. The RED Pyro was intercepting every attack Pinkie was making on him. Twilight was meeting Bushwacka with the RED Scout's Sandman while Rainbow was flying circles around the RED Sniper before he got beaned on the head by a magic shot from Rarity, who had intended it for the RED Spy. By this point, the gate for the keep has closed, but the castle's point only mattered; the other two were to open the gate and easy access to the castle.

While that and more was happening, the two Medics were performing their Medicating Melody taunts, avoiding the attacks from each others' teams, and for some reason the RED one was goading the EqU one into a violin competition. Just outside in the courtyard, Spike and the RED Demoman were still at it, the latter mostly on the defensive given the lance's range.

As the duel wore on, Spike was growing tired; and the RED Demoman knew it too as he successfully disarmed the baby dragon with one deft swing. He was about to deliver a final blow—not caring for the moment that his team was losing—when Spike remembered something Thenam told him about his abilities rendered useable (as they were blocked by his card).

_I forgot to mention._, he remembered Thenam say during the explanation of the new weapons. _You can use your fire breath now, but not too often. Try not to send anybody to the Princess with it, okay?_

With that in mind, Spike evaded the sword swing while drawing a breath, then exhaling a burst of fire, which set the sword wielder alight. Taking advantage of the RED Demoman jerking back in pain and his cry of being on fire, Spike retrieved his lance and made one desperate thrust on his opponent.

He nearly missed, grazing the side after the RED Demoman parried the blow with his sword. And then it vanished from his grip as the control point was captured and victory was declared. The last RED's eye shrunk in shock as he realized his loss as a few of his teammates fled only to be shot down one by one by Huntsman arrows from Twilight, which were rendered critical thanks to the victory condition.

"Wow! I can't believe it!", Tasic gasped from the communications system. "That was an incredibly fast fight! You guys're getting better!"

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The moment victory was secured, the EqU trailer was driven out of the archery range and to the castle. It was parked at the back, where it is safe from the battle. All the while, it still had that green barrier around it. Jothicu had returned since then.

Meanwhile, when the ponies and baby dragon headed to the RED Spawn point, but just before they turned the corner, there was a flash of green light. Once they turned, they managed to see the RED Pyro disappear in a flash, but not before he could turn to them and make a certain gesture with his middle finger. Once the light was gone, there was that wizard they met on the road.

"Ah.", he said. "So that's where the powerful magic's from." Immediately, everybody (except Fluttershy) pointed their weapons at him. Twilight then let loose a blast of magic. The wizard waved his staff and deflected it harmlessly.

"Why did you take us here?", Twilight demanded. He did not reply as he waved his staff again and he disappeared in a flash of green light before anybody else could do a thing. "Darn it!"

At that moment, Tasic went up on the communication system. "What just happened?"

"We saw a man in tattered robes, a ram-like skull, and a staff held together with duct tape."

"Merasmus!"

"Who?"

"Merasmus. He was at the road earlier before he transported us here. …Oh wait! NOW I remember who he is!"

"Just who is this Merasmus guy?", asked Rainbow.

"Merasmus is one of two magicians who reside in Mann's Land. He is the RED Soldier's roommate. At least he was until he was evicted by the RED Soldier from the castle he lives in."

"Hold on a second! Seriously?"

"Just because he's a cuckoo doesn't mean he can't do brilliant things time to time. I believe Pinkie Pie is a prime example."

"Oh, right."

"We'll tell you more later."

"Uh oh.", Thenam suddenly spoke up.

"What's wrong?", asked Chronicle.

"Better get on the defensive, 'cause I think Merasmus brought down BLU here."

"Just great."

"Conditions are same as before.", said Tasic. "This time, you're the defenders."

"Let's head over and greet them!", Pinkie suggested.

"Why?", asked Spike.

"Come on. The REDs did it for us."

"All right."

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nightelf37: And that's it for now.

Chronicle: You're getting a bit worse, are you.

nightelf37: Yeah. If you wanna complain on tactics, I don't play the game. And we can say the sight of ponies make them act differently. Underestimating them, wanting to prove they're better than them, and so on.

Chronicle: Are you gonna do the Halloween ones next?

nightelf37: No, I decided to try out that "baby Scout" incident. Maybe.

Chronicle: What about those two arguers in the Author's Notes?

nightelf37: Meh, I'll explain them another time. See ya on Third!


	21. An Awkward Situation

In the base Teufort (henceforth 2Fort))…

Tasic, Jothicu, and Chronicle were conversing with one another in the BLU Intelligence room when a voice came from behind them. They turned to see Rarity at the main entrance. "Gentlemen." There were a few seconds of silence before the two humans burst into laughter, leaving the two ponies confused.

"Oh, sorry.", apologized Tasic. "It's just that you still don't pull it off like the Spy does."

"By the way, what brings you here?", queried Jothicu.

"It's about the suspicious thing Thenam heard at RED base, so he asked me to investigate."

"Alone?", asked Chronicle.

"Of course not. He created a clone to accompany me, although it was a bit unnerving to be with her, since she bore the same colors as my dear Sweetie Belle…"

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_Rarity stayed to the wall of the building Thenam had guessed to be the RED 2Fort barracks, which was situated next to their side of 2Fort itself. Under the midday sun, she normally would've stayed in the shade and do something else, but Thenam had different plans. Something was going on in RED, and he wanted to find out. She considered bringing a parasol with her, but the shadow it would've cast would've given away her position, even if she were to go invisible and it with her._

_Last Friday (night), after BLU left for another base to fight off LUNA, EqU occupied their side of 2Fort. At Saturday evening, while glancing over at the RED base, Thenam and Spike saw it shaking. Needless to say, they were surprised and frankly quite startled. And so Thenam decided that the REDs needed to be spied on. And the only one who could do that was Rarity. _

_A Spy clone accompanied her, which took the color scheme of Sweetie Belle, and was under Thenam's control. It felt a bit nostalgic, but she remembered that this was not her sister, who was clumsy, annoying, a bit snarky, and a lethal chef, but still nice and adorable. She would have to ask Thenam later on __**why**__ the clones were colored so that they reminded them of ponies (and some non-ponies) they knew back home._

_As the two turned a corner, they saw the RED Sniper finishing a cup of coffee, admiring the noontime sun as he did so. From what she could see as they quickly cloaked themselves with the Cloak and Dagger, she also noticed a few hints of bruises that most likely came from a scuffle. Since the BLUs were away and none of her friends have been in a fight with them recently, it can only be assumed he had an argument with one of his teammates. _

_As the two EqU Spies moved closer, they both heard a crash from inside. "Stupid machines!", the Soldier's voice could be heard._

_"Solly, how many times do I have to tell you?!" The next one was the Engineer. "The toaster ain't gonna kill us!"_

_Rarity heard the Sniper heave a heavy sigh and start for the door leading inside. Just as she went to follow as he opened it, he froze after one step indoors, then slowly turned…to right where she was standing. Rarity instantly felt nervous as she stopped in her step. The Spy clone did likewise. From what Rarity was told about him, he was a tracker of dangerous game, a hunter, and thus he would have better hearing than the average human. And the sounds of guns blazing in his current career apparently hadn't dulled them in the slightest. It didn't help either that hoofsteps are slightly louder than footsteps. _

_She did her best not to hyperventilate even as the Sniper stepped back and curled his hand into a fist._

_"Goddammit Sol, we need the toaster!", the Engineer was saying._

_The Sniper glanced over his shoulder, looked back to where Rarity happened to be (not that he knew it), then over his shoulder again. Slowly, carefully, he eased back to the base. Deciding now would be a good time to get inside, the cool indoor air beckoning to her, she quickly closed the distance as the Sniper stepped through the threshold, getting inside and slowing in her step as he shut the door, which pushed at and pinned part of her tail outside, irking her as she was forced to wait, still breathing hard but quietly. The other Spy waited outside patiently._

_Once the door was shut, the Sniper took another deep breath. "M'just imagining things.", he muttered to himself. "Too many spooks." He then slunk off down one of the corridors, thankfully not making any accidental contact with her._

_Once she was certain nobody was in the area, Rarity deactivated her cloak, 'took hold' of the doorknob, creaked it open enough to get the rest of her tail as well as the Spy clone in, then closed it again. "That was close. Way too close.", she muttered as the Spy clone uncloaked as well. _I'm going have to fix this when I get back._, she then thought as she looked at her tail._

_The shouts of the Soldier and Engineer covered both Spies' movements as they crept down the corridor, butterfly knives 'drawn'. They tapped the button on their watches with the back of their knives, disappearing just in time as the RED Demoman thundered down a nearby staircase to join the fray._

_And then they saw something unexpected. They saw the RED Spy carrying a young child into another doorway. Thenam identified it to be only a few years old. Now Rarity was interested. As well as a bit distressed by the fact that a baby was among these affable killers. Thenam had the same thoughts as well._

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Rarity told them more on what she and Thenam learned while they were in the RED barracks, which had slowly begun to sound like a confession. Once she paused to give them time to process this, Tasic spoke up.

"Let me get this straight.", he said. "The baby is actually the RED Scout, that the Respawn system had something to do with his 'age regression', and that the Engineer theorized that this might've removed his 'protection'? **And you and Thenam thought it was a good idea to kidnap him?!**"

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_Later that night…_

_The Sweetie Belle-colored clone was listening in on the rest of the REDs as they sat around a campfire near the Sniper's van. From what she (and Thenam through her) heard, they were wondering where to hide the baby Scout for their upcoming fight with EqU, whom they discovered were in the BLU base, but didn't attack because the Administrator had put them on ceasefire until Monday tomorrow. The Respawn Room was not an option, and neither were the infirmary, the van, or the Engineer's workplace._

_Meanwhile, Rarity had followed the RED Spy as he took the baby Scout, who was dragging along a Teddy Roosebelt accessory to a room. She remained outside, remaining invisible and still thanks to the Cloak and Dagger watch._

_As she waited, Thenam told him what he heard from the other REDs and the news concerned her. She began to worry about Scout's safety and while it pained her to do this, she thought it would be best to have her in the care of less…psychopathic people. Even though they certainly looked nice enough outside the battlefield, the fact still stands that they have no place for the Scout to remain safe in the meantime._

_He would be in better hooves if he was with EqU for the time being._

_She voiced her opinion to Thenam, who agreed with her decision. Just then, the RED Spy left the room. Once she was sure he was gone, she opened the door and entered the room, and took a gander at the sight._

_The walls were painted red, plastered with baseball memorabilia and pictures torn from magazines depicting beautiful female humans with little clothing. There was a full bookshelf pushed up against one wall and the bed was made neatly, where the baby Scout slept. There was an organized dresser next to the bed, the odds and ends on it in pristine condition. The floor was also free of litter. Even when she saw the trashcan was filled to the brim with Bonk! Atomic Punch, she was quite impressed with the Scout's cleanliness, although the many cans of potential radioactive drink unsettled her. While she also noticed a comb on the dresser, she deemed it unsuitable for fixing her tail._

_She uncloaked at the foot of the bed, staring at the sleeping Scout. Using a spell she picked up from one of the LUNA ponies (Lyra or Lulamoon, she didn't want to call her Trixie so she can differentiate her from the one in her world), she 'summoned' a piece of paper and a pen. She still needed work on operating those writing materials as the one she had was the "push-pop" ones. Once she got that ready, she began to write._

To the members of Reliable Excavation and Demolition:

I sincerely apologize for this, but I have taken the Scout. I know you will be engaging us in battle tomorrow and you do not have a place for him to stay safe for the time being from our oncoming fight. I'm certain this will be a decision I will probably regret, but the idea of leaving a child at risk just doesn't sit well with me, nor would it to the rest of my team. Rest assured, we shall return him after the fight so your teammates can resolve this issue somehow, if we can't solve it ourselves, that is.

Sincerely,

Rarity, Spy of the Equestria Union

_She still felt a bit unsatisfied with the letter, but with time running short, it will have to do. Carefully, quietly, she rolled up the paper, put it down on the bed, and 'picked up' the Scout. The teddy bear he was holding fell to the floor. "Shhh," she whispered as she lay him on her back. "Shhh, there there." She 'placed' the teddy bear back on the bed and 'moved' the letter into its arms before leaving. _

_As she began to walk down the stairs she had climbed to reach his room, the Scout stirred, opening one bleary eye at whatever was carrying him. It seemed to be a small white horse with a beautiful purple mane. He figured he was dreaming; this pony was too beautiful to be real._

_"Pweety…", he muttered as he brushed the pony's mane with his fingers. Rarity noticed, stopped, turned around to look at him, then cast a little sleep spell she often used on Sweetie Belle whenever she tucked her to bed. It wasn't strong enough to put to sleep those who are normally awake, but it worked on those who are on the verge of slumber._

_Speaking of which, the clone of her that bore her sister's colors met up with her. "Do you have him?", she said in her voice, but with the "fancy" accent of the Spy. Rarity could only nod. "Let's go."_

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"I'm sorry! But we didn't feel it would be safe for him to stay with them! Thenam heard the others arguing on the issue."

"I can't believe you didn't learn your lesson.", Chronicle groaned. Technically, it was Fluttershy's lesson, when she kidnapped Princess Celestia's pet phoenix Philomena without asking because she wanted to help her get better."

"Wait. Why did she kidnap a phoenix?", asked Jothicu.

"We didn't know that she was one at the time, okay? Philomena didn't look even remotely like any phoenix I was familiar with, not to mention she was pretending to be sick. She was nearing her reincarnation phase."

"Ah. I see."

Just then, Thenam came in, looking sullen and about to confess something as the other three Story Crew members gave him a harsh stare.

"Thenam Kintobor, you have a lot of explaining to do.", said Tasic.

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Elsewhere in the BLU base, in an area usually inaccessible during the "war games" and visible from the Intelligence room, the ponies (and dragon) there either had their ears covered due to the baby Scout's crying in the middle of the room or were running along the rows of terminals in panic in an attempt to find a way to calm him down. Fluttershy, Derpy Hooves, and Pinkie Pie were not in the room for some reason.

"Why did nopony tell us about this?!", Twilight Sparkle asked herself as she tried to figure out what to do.

"I'm getting Pinkie Pie!", Spike said as he ran out of the room.

"I think you should leave.", Applejack suggested as the Scout turned purple. _Not a good sign._

"Why? Is it because of that 'Rainbows make Scout cry' thing?", retorted Rainbow Dash.

"YES!", chorused everypony in the room. Meanwhile, the little human boy sucked in another breath between gulping sobs and a gross mixture of snot and tears dribbled down his chin.

"Fine." Once she was out of the room, Spike came back with Pinkie Pie, who bounced in with a baseball in her mouth. Upon noticing the baby, she immediately went over to him and gave him the ball.

Once she did that, she jumped onto the terminal the baby was on, sat down on her rump and hoisted him up with her front hooves. "Isa ball.", he said. "Isa nice ball!"

"Thanks!", said Pinkie. "I knew you'd like it!" The baby Scout nodded, then Pinkie took out a hankie out of nowhere, wiped his face with it, then put it away back to nowhere.

"Thank Celestia that's over.", sighed Applejack.

"Thanks, Pinkie Pie.", Twilight said as she and the rest calmed down or got up. "I'm gonna have a talk with Thenam about what we should do. In the meantime, how would you like to babysit him?"

"Oh boy! I've never babysat a human baby before! Of course, I don't sit on them 'cause that would be painful. Not to mention mean."

"Good! I knew we can count on you. And I'm sorry for what I said to you when I offered to babysit the Cakes for you."

"Come on, Twilight. You already apologized before and I accepted, remember?"

"R-Right."

Just then, Derpy and Fluttershy came over, having went for a quiet walk around the base, although the crying caught their attention and they had come over as quickly as they could, getting lost in the corridors before finding the place. They hadn't been in 2Fort long enough to be familiar with it. Upon seeing the baby Scout…

"Umm, what's going on?", the gray pegasus asked.

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The two of them were filled in on what was going on. One the RED Scout had been turned into a baby. Two, Thenam and Rarity decided to kidnap him to protect him from tomorrow's fight. As the mentioned two along with the other members of EqU arrived, there was a heated argument involving how the situation could've been planned out more properly. Pinkie decided to leave so she can take care of the baby Scout in peace, saying all the arguing is bad for his ears.

Suddenly, something in Thenam's pockets beeped. He took it out, and looked at it, then paled. "Uh oh.", he said. "Somebody's headed here."

"Should we hide?", asked Fluttershy.

"No. **We** should.", he corrected. "It's one of the Administrator's messengers. He'll be looking for you guys. They don't know humans are helping you. Not the Administrator and her messengers anyway." As it was, the BLU team did know after their Spy once stole one of their cases, which had contained "Nightmare Night Masks", prior to their battle in Mann Manor. And since the REDs also obtained these masks, it was assumed they knew as well. And before all that, there was Saxton Hale. And none of them had considered revealing this to Helen.

With that, Thenam pulled back a sleeve, revealing one of the watches the Spies use and disappeared from view. Tasic and Jothicu promptly revealed similar watches and did the same and the three hustled over behind one of the many terminals. From the other entryway came a man in a trench coat, who seemed to fit the description the Equestrians had been given of him sometime after the Saxton Hale incident.

He stopped a few steps after entering and then opened his trench coat, revealing a miniature television screen. It then showed the face of the Administrator. "We meet at last, Equestria Union.", she said, inciting the anger of some of the ponies. "To think that a band of colored equines and a small fire-breathing reptile could pose a threat to Mann Co."

"Hey!", Spike took offense to what the Administrator said.

"No matter. Where's the one in charge?"

"That would be me.", Chronicle stepped forward and jumped onto one of the terminals so he can be seen.

The Administrator then seemed to turn away to cough once before turning back. "Sorry. Wrong terms. Who is the one who hired you? The RED team is under the employ of Redmond Mann while the BLU team is under Blutarch."

"I'm sorry, but we are not allowed to divulge that information." He then gave the others stares so that they would play along before turning back to the screen. He decided not to reveal the fact that they know Blutarch and Redmond are brothers. "Might I ask why you sent a messenger here?"

"I'm here to give you a fair warning. I know everything that's going on in the bases, including DeGroot Keep. I know someone is doing something in them whenever you do battle with BLU or RED, and I don't like it. You know that in here, fire goes away after a while and doesn't burn wood, and the buildings stay intact no matter how many explosives or bullets hit them, things like that right?" The present members of EqU nodded. "Well, it's thanks to a little something I have planted in all the bases, what it is I will not tell."

"Okay…", said Twilight.

"I will be activating something else that will nullify all that, and I believe you know what will happen when I do. Just in case you don't, my messenger has a note that will describe the effects." The messenger took out an envelope and held it out in front of them. Chronicle 'took' the envelope from him and brought it over to himself. "From what little my agents have discovered about you, you aren't trained killers."

"And you're thinking the deactivation of this something will scare us off, huh?", guessed Rainbow as she bent down, ready to charge.

"It never hurts to try. I always have other methods. And I certainly trust you won't shoot my messenger."

"Now why would we do such a thing?", asked Spike. "Unless…the other teams do it a lot of times. Right?"

"Correct, EqU Demoman. Another thing. I also know about the baby RED Scout. And while I'm not absolutely certain if he's with you, I know for sure he is not with the other REDs. And since he was still here when the BLUs left, I'm assuming he's in your base."

"And if he is?"

"Here's something else I'll let you know. I control the Respawn machines that the teams use and I know you use your own. If I find out the baby Scout is outside the base during the fight, I will set it so that if he dies, he dies for real. And I'm certain the REDs will be really angry if they find out it's your fault they lost him." Rarity looked especially guilty, but the Administrator didn't see it. "Well, I think I've wasted enough time conversing with you equines and little reptile. Enjoy your evening, ladies and gentlemen." With that, the messenger closed his trench coat as his television closed and left. To the surprise of some, Rainbow didn't go after him and beat him into a bloody pulp, not that she'd go that far.

Once they were sure he was gone, the three Story Crew humans uncloaked and walked to Chronicle, who 'gave' the envelope to Tasic. Incidentally, Pinkie Pie returned with the baby Scout fast asleep on her back.

"Okay. Let's see what our dear messenger's got for us.", Tasic said as everybody approached him. He opened the envelope, took out the letter, and started to read it. Thenam and Jothicu leaned over his shoulder to read as well. Their backs weren't to any of the terminals, so none of the ponies or Spike could jump onto one to look as well. None of the pegasi were interested in hovering behind their shoulders and finding out what the letter said and even if they did, the writing was so small and in cursive they couldn't have read it.

Once Tasic was done, he pulled the letter away and it was evident that there was shock in his face. The other two humans also had similar expressions.

"What is it?", asked Derpy.

Jothicu gulped, then answered, "Let's head to the trailer."

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Inside the EqU trailer, which was parked right next to the buildings of 2Fort, everybody was gathered at the improved 'cockpit' (after their meetup with LUNA), which was where Tasic and the others do 'mission control' during the "war games" as well as drive.

"Tomorrow's battle will be…gorier than usual.", announced Tasic.

"What?!", gasped Spike.

"We've seen blood and body parts fly before.", Applejack said, eliciting a look of fright from Fluttershy. "What could be 'gorier' than that?"

"Do you know what it's like to be burnt?", asked Jothicu. "And I don't mean the way the Pyro's flamethrowers or any of the other flame-inducing weapons burn you."

"You know, I noticed something different from the way fire burns on me compared to some of my accidents with Spike.", Twilight pointed out. The young dragon put a hand to his back and rubbed it while making a guilty face. "I'm not sure about the difference, but even when my entire body's on fire thanks to the Pyro or any other burning weapon, I'm still able to focus enough to fight for a while." All the other ponies murmured in agreement. At one point or another, they had at least one fire-related accident, not all of them involving Spike.

"Well, that's partly thanks to your cards, which protects your fur and hair from burning up." Jothicu turned to Rarity, who felt grateful. "The something the Administrator talked about already protects skin and clothes. Well, with the something else activating, that protection might disappear." Just as he said that, an invisible wave seemed to wash over them all, making them all shudder a bit.

"What was that?", yelped Spike.

"I'm not sure.", replied Thenam as he put a finger to his chin. "But if I were to hazard an educated guess, it would be that something else the Administrator told you about." He then noticed something wrong with the technology around them. "Oh no!"

"What's wrong?", asked Tasic.

"Our tech's affected by that wave as well!" He frantically went for a nearby keyboard and started typing frantically.

Tasic turned to the others and said, "Another thing. You noticed that the buildings remain intact no matter how many things explode on them, right? Well, concrete will now crumble and wood will burn and splinter. And then after the fight, they will be inexplicably restored the same way the teams' Respawn does to the mercenaries."

"There's more.", said Thenam as he broke away from the keyboard he was typing on. "Your Customizers are out of whack. You won't be able to select weapons for the time being and are stuck with the default loadouts. No hats or miscellaneous items either. It's also easier to get disarmed of your weapons, whereas that usually doesn't happen."

"Other stuff will happen as well, like the Jarate and Mad Milk leaving shards from their shattered bottles, you guys being able to pick up your own intelligence, wounds appearing and bleeding when you're hit, simultaneous use of two weapons, and so on."

"Guys, I need you all to keep focused as always. Don't let this new 'mode' freak you out. Even if the respawn time has now become fifteen minutes."

"Fifteen minutes?!", gasped Pinkie.

"Yes. In exchange, Engineers can set up more than one of each building AND be able to build mini-sentries along with the standard ones."

"Well that's an upside.", commented Applejack. "Are we keeping the baby in the trailer, then?"

"No.", argued Fluttershy. "You heard what she said. If the baby Scout's outside 2Fort during the fight, he'll lose his Respawn protection and…" She gave aloud gulp. "His death will be final."

"And RED will be onto us with a greater vengeance than they will tomorrow.", the farmpony finished.

"Well, at least we can still deploy clones.", said Thenam, then gave a sigh. "This'll probably be our toughest fight yet."

"Tougher than Saxton Hale?", asked Pinkie.

"LUNA was there to help.", Tasic pointed out. "And in the Halloween fights, we had temporary alliances with BLU or RED. This time, we're fighting RED under a different set of rules. And I fear only Chronicle will be able to stomach all of this once it's over."

He then gave a sigh as he looked up to the ceiling, wondering how they got themselves into another unusual bind.

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nightelf37: And that's it for now. The baby Scout and all scenes involving him is a shout-out to ChaosAndMayhem's "Eight Mercenaries and a Toddler". Except the part with the rest of EqU, which only has a minor basis on "One Scout, To Scout, RED Scout, BLU Scout", also by ChaosAndMayhem. Thankfully, she granted me permission to use the idea. See ya on Third!


	22. A Fire-Forged Team

8 o' clock AM, 2Fort…

EqU readied themselves for another fight to remember. First, there was Saxton Hale alongside LUNA. Then the battles at DeGroot Keep. Then the Horseless Headless Horsemann with BLU. Then MONOCULUS! with RED. Then Merasmus with RED again, where both their Heavies decided to dress in drag for some reason. Not to say there weren't other memorable battles, but those were very prominent.

They were all already positioned around the base, even though the Administrator was still counting down. As it was, during what Tasic decided to call 'Realism Mode', the respawn room doors did not block them, and they will not block the enemy team from entering either as the invisible wall that did that was no longer in effect. Also, they only need to capture the enemy briefcase twice.

On the offensive, Rainbow Dash and Derpy Hooves were charging in, but the RED Heavy was alerted to their presence and he opened fire on them, forcing them to draw back. Just as they retreated, Sasha had landed one bullet on them each. The one that hit Derpy struck on a hind leg while the one on Rainbow grazed her side and nearly hit a wing. This caught them off guard for a bit since when they usually get hit, it was just a general sensation of pain all over their body. Now it's a more searing one on the spot where they were shot. And they were bleeding too.

Meanwhile, Twilight Sparkle identified the RED Sniper's position behind the now boarded-up windows and fired. Unfortunately, he got out of the way just as her bullet shot through the windows, presumably showering him in splintered wood. "I found the Sniper.", she alerted her teammates. "He's over there."

Just then, as the two pegasi tried to advance once more, this time with a little more caution, as Rainbow got closer, evading the RED Heavy's minigun, a rocket headed her way. While she managed to avoid a clean hit, it exploded right nearby and she was sent tumbling into the water.

"Wait fer me, ye idiot!", she heard the RED Demoman say before submerging.

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Spike managed to get past the RED Heavy as he entered the base. Even without a Chargin' Targe or a Splendid Screen, his skates enabled him to move quickly, certainly faster than the RED Demoman, who was currently supporting the Soldier in keeping back his teammates (and having the Eyelander), who were understandably more hesitant thanks to the effects of 'Realism Mode'. Explosions seriously hurt, especially the heat they give off. His scales warded off heat and bullets, but the impact still hurt, and this time the cards did not track 'health'. He wasn't about to test it by throwing himself in front of a Pyro's flamethrower though. He wasn't **that** certain.

Before he went down the corridor he found himself in, he suspected something, stopped, and launched three grenades down the turn. These promptly exploded, and the cry he heard confirmed his thoughts. There was somebody there. And when he went over and saw he got the RED Pyro, but didn't end up doing as much damage as he thought.

While that was happening, an EqU Pyro clone had also entered the base, this one having a creamy blond mane, bot-named "Ambush". Pinkie Pie decided to take care of the Scout and was staying at the Intelligence room with Rarity, seeing that the respawn rooms can be entered by the enemy. Due to the effects of 'Realism Mode', it turns out only one could be created and for some reason the RED team wasn't making any copies of themselves to balance the numbers.

As she entered the courtyard, she saw the Engineer erecting two Level 3 Sentries, decided this won't do, and elected to take them down. She managed to burn one down and its resulting explosion (along with destroying the other Sentry) slammed the Engineer against a wall. She ended up nearly destroying the straight stairs as she then made her way to the battlements, not realizing the Engineer wasn't dead yet and was playing possum. Normally, her AI would be smarter, but whatever had initiated 'Realism Mode' had hampered it a bit as she went for the Sniper's location.

Back where Spike was, he was struggling as the Pyro grabbed him by the neck and was pulling him up while trying to reach his axe, too weak to get up after the little bugger had delivered scratches on his legs. Just then, at the other end of the corridor Spike had planned to turn to before getting himself involved with the firebug, from the wall of fire there probably caused by "Ambush" emerged the RED Engineer, a scream escaping him as he landed badly. He nearly sank to his knees, but roused himself as he heard the Pyro cry out as Spike began to dig his claws into the arm holding him up in attempt to make him let go.

The young dragon grunted out loud as he continued in his efforts only to then hear a familiar revving noise. He turned just in time to see the Engineer bring out his Gunslinger arm, grab him by the neck and out of RED Pyro's clutches. Spike choked as he dangled in the air, helpless and unable to move as Engineer's prosthetic hand crushed his windpipe.

"I may not know if any of my weapons can pierce your scales, but I'm gonna wipe that dumb look right off your _stu_pid face.", he said before slamming the EqU Demoman into the wall. Before he could try and let loose a fire breath, the Engineer pulled back, then slammed him into the wall again, knocking the breath out of his lungs and sending Spike away to the limbo room.

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At the battlements, "Ambush" looked for the RED Sniper, wandering cautiously. Just as she turned for one of the doorframes however, her target showed himself and hurled a jar of Jarate and she yelped in pain and stumbled back as splintered glass dug into her suit. Immediately, she brought up her flamethrower in front of herself, parrying his kukri, only to then get a kick to the face, sending her right into a wall and disarming her. Sniper gave a yell, shoving the kukri towards her, but she barely rolled away in time (Pinkie would've effortlessly dodged that) and retrieved her weapon in the process.

As the kukri embedded itself into the wood, another thing that wouldn't happen out of 'Realism Mode', the EqU Pyro swiftly did an airblast, disarming him and sending him flying and landing flat on his back, also ejecting his shades. "Ambush" approached him as he got up, then let loose a stream of flames. The Sniper rolled out of most of it, but was now burning. Thanks to 'Realism Mode', his skin was peeling off and his left eye was charred. As a 'bot', she didn't react to this; Pinkie most likely would've been traumatized.

The Sniper managed to get up and barrel past her. "Ambush" quickly followed him as he reached another room, which was already burning due to the flames. In spite of 'Realism Mode', her exposed hair didn't catch fire from the surrounding flames as she tried to locate the Sniper. Upon finding him, she saw him lying on his back, near-burning to death…and his rifle aimed right at her. Before she could do anything else, he pulled the trigger and eliminated her.

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At the Intelligence room, Rarity stood guard near their briefcase, boredom evident in her face. She had opted out on heading to the fight due to freaking out from how more vulnerable she was out there with 'Realism Mode' in action. The fact that RED base was flammable didn't help matters as Pinkie Pie (in her Pyro uniform as a safety precaution) played with the baby Scout.

Just then, she heard a voice through the comms system. "Hey, I got the briefcase!" It was Rainbow Dash. "I'm headed back now!"

Rarity found this as odd; Rainbow hardly ever used the comms system and was more likely to alert teammates within earshot. Also, while the two are friends, they weren't honestly too close with one another as they were with their other friends. This was probably the RED Spy, but why would he bring his team's briefcase over?

Nevertheless, Rarity quickly responded to avoid any suspicions. "Marvelous! I believe you remember where to bring it."

"Of course I remember! I'll be there in ten seconds flat!"

Once she was off the link, Pinkie, who had been listening as well, said, "That wasn't Rainbow Dash."

"I know.", replied Rarity. "I wonder why the RED Spy's bringing his team's own intelligence to us?" She then decided to ask him later as she then contacted another teammate. "Applejack, are those Sentries ready?"

"Still got two more to go, Rare.", the EqU Engineer replied. "I admit I'm feelin' a bit thrilled to be able to build more than one o' these."

"Glad to hear somepony's having fun in spite of what's happening right now."

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Meanwhile, the other ponies were being very cautious as rockets, grenades, and minigun fire kept them behind cover. Even Chronicle knew not to be too reckless after getting two rockets in the face. One had slammed into the barrier he conjured and slammed him into the wall behind him. Then the second smashed through and gave him a couple of broken bones and a bloody nose. The Dispenser set up nearby helped keep his health and ammo up.

"Oww…", he groaned. "Getting a rocket to the face is no laughing matter." He then went out and let loose another round of bullets on his RED counterpart, whose Medic had just finished patching up the RED Soldier and was now healing him up.

Outside, as Twilight hid from the two REDs' barrage, Derpy was running across the rooftop of the bridge, deftly evading her RED counterpart's rockets and countering with a few of her own. Knowing the Heavy and Medic are right below, she jumped off the roof, aimed her rocket launcher downward, and fired. She managed to see the Heavy grab the Medic and hurl him out of harm's way as the rocket struck and gibbed the big guy.

The sight disturbed more greatly than it normally would have (even when gibs happened outside 'Realism Mode' as well). And it took her a few seconds to realize that a Medi Gun was at her feet. And that it belonged to the RED Medic, who was getting up a short distance away and had a wounded shoulder. Getting back to her senses, she fired at the Medic, who fled into the base. She immediately followed him.

They ended up in the courtyard where the Engineer had been, but Derpy could not see him. She felt he was still around though, so she stopped and used her rarely-used special talent for sensing air currents (which she got her cutie mark from) to try and pinpoint his location (and if others were going to get at her from other parts of the base).

After fully calming herself, switching to the shotgun, she bypassed a wall of boxes where she figured the Medic was…and he suddenly swung out from there and fired his syringe gun. She managed to dodge nearly all of them, the ones hitting her just at the helmet and two puncturing her right wing. In reflex (even if it was held by her mech-arm), she fired her shotgun and disarmed the Medic of his weapon.

"Whoa!", she found herself saying. "Did not see you ther—huh?"

Upon saying "not see", the Medic's expression immediately shifted into one of anger. In his panic, he had misheard "Nazi", which he hated to hear from anybody, especially his enemies. As a result, he lunged himself at her and began pummeling her with his fists.

It was a very gruesome experience. Even if fists weren't as hard as hooves, they still packed a punch. Derpy still had enough focus in her to rear her hind legs and buck the Medic in the stomach, getting him off of her, and slamming him to the wall behind him. The EqU Soldier breathed heavily, still recovering from the Medic's attack. One eye was swollen shut and blood was trickling down her face, further hampering her already impaired vision.

From what little she could now see, Derpy could see the dying Medic give off a wheezing laugh, bloody spittle dribbling down his chin. Making a guess, she quickly turned around…and found herself face-to-face with the RED Pyro, who unleashed a burst of fire from his flamethrower.

Unlike most other times where she caught fire, this one was truly agonizing and she let off a painful scream, making everybody else in the base freeze for an instant and the ponies a few precious seconds more. She staggered away from the now-dead Medic, writhing helplessly as fire seared through fur and melted flesh from bone. She continued to wail, ending only when the Pyro brought down his axe on her head, sending her away to the limbo room before it could fracture her skull and do permanent damage to her brain or eyes. Medi Gun rays began to fix up her clothes and body, but she had fallen unconscious from the ordeal.

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Back at the EqU-occupied BLU base…

The ponies were on the defensive as the RED Soldier and Demoman kept them back with their explosives.

"First we lose Spike, then Ambush, then Derpy.", Twilight Sparkle swore to herself as she scouted the two's positions from the battlements. "Could this battle get any worse?" She was answered when a RED grenade landed close to her position. she prepared to teleport but before she could successfully cast it, it exploded, sending her flying and stunning her for a few minutes.

Below, Chronicle was breathing heavily and leaning against the wall as blood matted his coat. The Dispenser had been destroyed by a Demoman's grenade, but Fluttershy was patching him up, the blood being pulled back into the wounds as they closed up.

"Tha' should keep 'im off his feet fer a bit, aye?", he heard the Demoman say.

"Atta boy, Cyclops!", the Soldier with him crowed.

"Is the Übercharge ready?", he asked Fluttershy. There came a ping in the EqU Medic's pack and she confirmed it. "Good. Let's go." She activated the Übercharge and they were quickly covered in protective coats of energy. Right after that, a rocket headed inside and slammed into him, sending the two of them flying for a bit, but perfectly unharmed.

The RED Soldier then charged in. "Come and get me, blondie!"

"Bring it!", he challenged as he switched to his shotgun (not having the Sandvich due to the out-of-whack Cutomizers) and returning fire. The two ponies strafed the rockets, getting in each others' path (but not aim) so that no rocket would break off their beam.

"I swear that that Medic pony is too quiet for her own good!", the Soldier swore as he sidestepped a swing of the EqU Heavy's "magic horn blade" and took out the Equalizer.

Back outside, the RED Demoman was planting stickybombs at the entryway his fellow teammate entered. Just before he could detonate them though, a multicolored blur passed the corner of his one eye, then a cyan hoof collided with his stomach, sending him flying for a bit before crashing. He crawled to his feet, fighting an urge to vomit.

Rainbow Dash stood before him, panting and soaking wet before shaking the water off of her mane, coat, and tail. "Too slow.", she taunted.

"Ye look like ye been ta hell an' back, lassie.", the Demoman replied, one hand reaching for something that wasn't there. His eye flickered to the stickybomb launcher, which he had lost when the EqU Scout attacked him and was resting in the dust.

Rainbow followed his gaze, then quickly turned around, flicking her tail at his eye, then zipped over to the launcher, picking it up with her hooves and hovering backward as the Scot climbed to his feet. "Heheh. Could never do this before." Just then, a shotgun blast forced her to duck. Another struck the tip of her right wing, forcing her to drop to the ground and let go of the stickybomb launcher, which rolled harmlessly to the ground.

It was the RED Engineer, who was aiming his shotgun at her head as he stalked across the bridge.

Back inside, a pair proved to be better than a solo, especially since the pair's Übercharge lasted for more than eight seconds. The RED Soldier had lost all feeling in one arm and his blood was pumping down the front of his fatigues. Fluttershy was already getting traumatized and Chronicle knew he had to finish this. He quickly took out his shotgun as the Soldier lay against a wall.

"I'm ending this. Now.", the EqU Heavy declared as he aimed at the crazed rocket man, and then noticed that he had ripped a grenade off of his bandolier.

"Yes, I am.", the Soldier agreed as he pulled the pin with his teeth.

His eyes shrinking in shock, he yelled, "**FLUTTERSHY!** HE'S GONNA BLOW!" Without looking to see if she got out of the way, he 'grabbed' the grenade from the Soldier's hand and hurled it out of the entryway, where it landed in the water. What happened next was something he didn't see coming. The entryway exploded into a million pieces at the same time as the grenade, trapping him under the rubble and blowing Rainbow Dash, and the RED Engineer and Demoman, the latter having retrieved his launcher and detonated the stickybombs.

The Demoman was on his feet in an instant after that, staring slack-jawed at what had been the main entrance to the (EqU-occupied) BLU base, now just a pile of concrete. "Sol, ye magnificent bastard! I'm toasting to yer health tonight!" He started to turn away, to the Engineer hauling the protesting EqU Scout against the wall with his prosthetic arm, when a familiar voice stopped him in his tracks.

"T-that's what I l-like to he-ea-hear, DeGroot!" A badly bleeding RED Soldier had somehow pulled himself out of the pile of rubble.

The Demoman spun around with an enormous grin. Engineer froze, and Rainbow stared in shock. "How are you still alive?!", she gasped.

"Grit determination, American pride, and a helluva lot of red meat, private." The Soldier whipped off his helmet, wiping a line of sweat from his brow with his right arm, his left dangling off of him. He replaced the helmet as the Demoman grabbed him by the shoulders in order to support him. "Now, where is—"

A sniper rifle bullet whizzed through the air and made its mark on the Soldier's head, who had enough time to see the blood dribble down his forehead before crumpling to the ground.

Atop the battlements, Twilight limped into view, a medium-sized open wound scarring her right flank and side and staining her clothes. She had her scope aimed at the Engineer as she punctuated her next words between heavy breaths. "Let. Go. Of Rainbow Dash. Now."

The Texan complied, one hand going smoothly to his shotgun as the EqU Scout flew over to her rescuer as best as she could, ignoring the pain on her wing. The Demoman came around beside the Engineer, launcher at the ready. And the Pyro walked across the bridge, ax covered in gore.

"Three 'gainst two.", the black man growled, "And neither of ye are lookin' to put up much o' a fight—"

"I got sentries along every corridor, and then some.", Applejack declared as she went over and pushed a Level 1 Dispenser—not being able to do so normally outside 'Realism Mode' outside hauling—towards her friends, its beam already working on fixing up Twilight's wounds. "Your Scout's safe. And as hard as it is to believe, we care for his safety just as much as you do, if not more."

"It would be best for the both of us if you just surrender so we can give him back and be over with all this.", the EqU Sniper advised.

The Engineer's voice went deeper as the Pyro took his place beside him. "Girl, I think you underestimate just how much we care for the boy."

"We may be crazed killers, but we look out fer one another!", said the Demoman as he aimed at the three mares. "An' we will stop at nothin' te bring 'im back, no matter what!"

"Y'all are going to be sorry," the Engineer continued. "Because in about ten minutes y'all are gonna taste the wrath of several pissed-off, not-so-dead REDs."

The three ponies gulped at this implication. These REDs were really serious in retrieving their teammate.

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The RED Spy, disguised as Rainbow Dash, made his way to the Intelligence room, entering via the side entrance. Upon making his way there, he saw the EqU Spy turning to face him as well as the original EqU Pyro, who was sitting on her haunches, doing quite a good job of keeping the baby Scout from crying.

He set down the briefcase on the table and next to EqU's, which was colored white and bore a symbol depicting a shining sun with eight wavy rays. As his eyes gazed past his EqU counterpart, which he recalled her name was Rarity, he noticed the boy he was about to rescue was looking at him and nearly about to cry. Before he could figure out why, a revolver was pressed to his back. "Be a dear and drop the disguise, would you?", he heard her say. "It turns out the BLU Spy was right about your Scout; rainbows do make him cry." The Spy conceded with a sigh and disabled his Rainbow Dash disguise, reverting to his tall, scarlet appearance.

"Spoi!" Scout cried out in relief, all tears gone as Pinkie was about to let him go.

"Scout, stay there," the Spy ordered, eyes on Rarity as he turned around and she 'pulled' the revolver away.

"No—"

"Scout, stay."

Rarity raised an eyebrow as the child sat down with wide eyes. "Wow, I didn't know you had a handle on children.", she said.

"There are many things you don't know about us, my dear lady. How did you know it was me?"

"Rainbow Dash is more likely to holler than use our communication system. And she's more likely to just drop the case, then take off again."

"So…you're going to shoot me in front of the child?" While that was happening, said child was struggling to break free from Pinkie's grip.

Rarity gasped in genuine shock. "However did you come up with such a horrible idea?! I thought you all knew by now that we are far from being killers like you."

"So, simply because you're more suited to a normal life you think you can just take him from us?" He then drew his revolver as well and aimed at his EqU counterpart.

"It was always our plan to return him after the fight! It's in the letter in case you forgot."

"Oh, I remember. I memorized every single word, every single one of them I took to heart." The baby Scout managed to break free from the EqU Pyro's hold and was walking toward the two Spies.

"Tell me. Why did you bring your own intelligence to us? Judging from the fact that you're fighting us, you don't intend to throw the battle, do you? Because if you brought over the case just to justify Rainbow Dash arriving here, from what little I know of you, you're supposed to be better than this."

"Rarity!", Pinkie suddenly cried out. Before she could finish her warning, the baby Scout bit down on the unicorn's right flank, right on the cutie mark. She yelped in pain, 'dropping' her revolver, screaming and running around the room in an attempt to try to shake Scout off.

The RED Spy reacted instantly, dealing a headshot at Pinkie, sending her away with one hit thanks to 'Realism Mode', then whipped Rarity with his revolver as she passed by, clotheslining her. The baby Scout had let go upon that hit and was sent flying right into the Spy's free arm.

"Isa bad horsie!", said the baby Scout.

"Good job, Scout.", the Spy breathed, scooping the little boy up and shifting him around in order to give him a piggyback ride. "Now." He flipped his revolver around, pointing the barrel at the slowly recovering Rarity. "Close your eyes."

"Intruder Alert! Intruder Alert!", came the Administrator's voice. "A RED Spy is in the base!"

This alert quickly roused the EqU Spy, who opened her eyes to see a revolver aimed at her general direction. Before and as he ran, he let loose an entire clip on her.

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Back outside, the remainder of EqU that has yet to be sent away was holding off the other REDs.

Applejack just finished knocking down the RED Engineer. The wrench which she had decided to hold in the mouth was bloody from its use as a weapon. Her hooves were in no better shape either. And then they heard the Administrator's alert. "Of course!", she bellowed. "The RED Spy!" She then darted off to the secondary entrance of the base, Twilight following. However, they were cut off by a burst of flames from the RED Pyro, who forced them back again with another blast of heat. Applejack spat out her wrench as it heated up quickly. Twilight managed to retain her 'grip' on her rifle as it hurt less when levitating an item with her aura than when holding it physically.

As the RED Demoman went for them, the Pyro was conked from behind by the flat of Fluttershy's bonesaw. She had emerged from the entrance her friends were trying to get to. Upon seeing her friends in serious danger, she knew she had to step up as Rainbow helped in the battle.

Meanwhile, the RED Engineer staggered to his feet, woozy from blood loss, then whispered through his team's communication system as he put a finger on an earpiece he wore. All the mercenaries (both RED and BLU) had one, the Scouts' being their headsets, though they had small earpieces like the rest when not wearing those. "Spah, d'you have Scout?"

"Oui. I can get 'im out—" On the other end, Engineer heard Spy roaring something in his native language, a child's squealing, and a faint explosion. "Sentries."

"Applejack sure wasn't kiddin'." Engineer muttered, using the name of his EqU counterpart. "We'll keep 'em busy for as long as we can. I haven't seen their Spy or Pyro apart from that blond clone of theirs. Did you take care of 'em?"

"I shot 'em—"

"In fronta Scout?!"

"It's not like I 'ad much of a choice! They disappear in a flash of light anyway. The pink one I sent off in one hit, but I'm not sure of the white one."

"We'll buy y'all some time. No promises though."

"Time is all I need, mon ami." Just as the Engineer finished his conversation, he caught a multicolored blur headed straight for him.

He side-stepped the blur, shooting his Gunslinger out as he did so, clotheslining Rainbow, who landed on her back, the wind knocked out of her. She opened her eyes in time to see the Engineer plant a heavy boot on her stomach, pinning her to the ground. The Pyro's fire reflected off of his goggles, and combined with his wicked grin he looked truly terrifying.

"Girl, d'you know why I call this lil' beauty the Gunslinger?", he said as he admired his mechanical arm. Before he could use it on the EqU Scout, he lifted it to grab the bonesaw held by the EqU Medic, who gave off a furious glare as he turned to face her. This gave Rainbow enough time to get her mech-arm to aim her pistol at the Engineer and shoot at his prosthetic arm, forcing him to get off of her.

As he completely regained his bearings, the Engineer found himself flanked by the two remaining pegasi still in action.

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Most individuals would've considered themselves lucky after surviving two shots that nearly hit them. Not so for Rarity. As it was, the RED Spy's gunshots not only hit the tip of her horn (which was painful in and of itself, but thankfully didn't interfere much in her use of magic), but also grazed two of her legs, and somehow sheared off a good portion of her mane.

She was going to find him, and she was going to make him pay for ruining her hair this badly.

After moving the RED briefcase to theirs and thus claiming a point for her team, she went after the Spy, limping a bit in her step. For some reason, their weapons didn't glow to mark their being able to land critical hits, which usually happened after capturing the Intelligence. As it was, 'Realism Mode' disabled that possibility. And the briefcases don't return to their bases when left alone for too long either.

She found herself outside where everybody else was fighting. Knife ready, she found a target in the form of the RED Pyro's exposed back.

"Pyro, look out—the EqU Spy—", the RED Engineer warned, but she delivered the killing blow, then the toymaker was hit in the arm by a couple of syringes from Fluttershy.

Somehow knowing the RED Spy didn't come this way, she 'retrieved' her knife, then went back in. As she did, somepony contacted her.

"Rare!", she was saying. It was Applejack. "My sentries are bein' sapped!" Even with 'Realism Mode' in effect, both Engineers still knew when their buildings were being sapped. As it was, their goggles didn't dim vision. Instead, they had a heads-up display in them that would tell them their supplies and the status of their buildings. For EqU (and LUNA), health and ammunition was already covered by the cards they used to don their mercenary gear, though they weren't doing so now.

"The RED Spy…"

"Must be. From what I could tell, I think he's headed to the sewers! Whoa!" From what Rarity could tell, her friend had just dodged a blow from the enemy. "Stop 'im before he puts the Scout in danger!"

"On it, dear!"

She continued until she found a(n unsapped) Dispenser and waited there for a few seconds. Once her legs were healed enough (sadly, it didn't fix up her mane even if it did clothes), she burst into a gallop, finding and following a trail of dead Sentries the RED Spy had left in his wake.

As she continued down the trail, she suddenly felt the barrel of a revolver at the back of her head. "…Where's the Scout?"

"Where you can't find him.", answered the RED Spy.

"I beg you. Don't do this. I can't guarantee his safety if you continue." She then shoved her hind leg into the Spy's foot, then followed it up by flipping it and the other one upward, kicking him in the face. As both her hind legs reached the air, she used her forelegs to flip herself around so that she now faced him upon landing, quickly 'drawing' her revolver in time for the RED Spy to recover and do the same.

"Didn't expect to see martial arts from a pony.", said the Spy as he spat out some blood from his mouth.

"There's more to us than meets the eye."

"We long since figured that out since our first loss to you at Dustbowl."

The tell-tale crack of a gunshot fired through the air, followed by a cry of pain.

Both Spies tensed, both of them fine, then gasped in horror on realizing where it came from. The RED Spy fired, only for the EqU one to take off, and so he only managed to shear off some of her mane once again. He then headed for the sewers and it turns out she was headed there as well. They ran together, differences set aside for the moment as they shared one thought that overrode all others; the concern for the baby Scout's safety.

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nightelf37: And that's it for now.

Chronicle: Wow. This is much longer than the Saxton Hale and Medieval Mode chapters.

nightelf37: No, it isn't. Not since I decided to break this off in parts. And speaking of parts, yes, I'm ripping off some from ChaosAndMayhem's "Eight Mercenaries and a Toddler". Thankfully, I asked permission to use the idea and she granted it. Still, it's kinda hard to find a very good reason why EqU is doing this. After all, the Administrator didn't—whoops! Spoilers on that story. See ya on Third!


	23. The Bond of RED Team

The RED Spy, followed by his EqU counterpart, rounded the last corner with a scream. "Scout!"

The little boy was curled up in a little ball against the wall, head buried in his knees and sobs wracking his tiny frame. The Spy got an adrenaline rush, reaching the Scout before Rarity…and saw the culprit; a Mini-Sentry, which had been programmed to not target ponies (and baby dragons) and target humans clad in red or blue. The Spy scooped it up and smashed it against the wall with an adrenaline-aided rush of fury. He then glared down at the sparking bits of smashed technology before wheeling around and heading to the Scout, who was 'picked up' by Rarity.

"DON'T TOUCH HIM!", he yelled at her. She nearly 'dropped' him and only 'let go' after he managed to catch the Scout. "It's all right, petit. It cannot 'urt you.", he said to him.

The Scout raised his head up a bit, eyes wide and full of tears. "Spoi…". he whimpered.

"What is it, petit?"

"O-ow-owies…" Scout tried to uncurl himself, but froze, as if afraid to show something.

The Spy leaned forward and Rarity did likewise. "Where are the owies, Scout?", he asked as he reached forward, stroking the Scout's hair. "Show me."

The Scout's face was rapidly losing color as he eased his legs back, revealing his blood-soaked shirt. The Spy's hand froze on his head.

"B-bu-bug.", the Scout stammered. His tears fell freely now, his breath coming in short spurts, and he was shivering violently as his blood-soaked little hands wrapped themselves around the wound again. "B-bu-bug bit."

It wasn't a bug, but a Mini-Sentry's bullet. Rarity gasped in horror as she turned to her RED counterpart and scolded, "How could you let the Scout go off on his own?! This is precisely why I took him!"

"He was wearing my invisibility watch.", the Spy found himself answering as he looked around frantically for it. "It should've kept him safe."

"You mean this?" Rarity levitated the watch, which had lay some feet away.

Before the Spy could answer, the boy's whimpers began anew. He immediately leaped into action as he cried out through his communication system. "ENGINEER! MEDIC! ANSWER ME, PLEASE!"

"Vhat is it? Vhere are you und Scout?", Rarity could hear the doctor's voice from the Spy's earpiece.

"We are by the sewers! Medic, hurry, please, Scout is—" In his rising panic, he fell into his native tongue as the Scout went slack in his arms.

From what she could hear next through the din of the Scout's yell (whom she tried to calm down), the Medic assured the Spy that he was on his way, with the rest of the team providing cover. All the Spy had to do was remain composed and keep pressure on the wound.

The Spy nodded and requested, "Come quickly."

"I'll do my best." He turned back to the Scout. "It's all right, petit.", he assured, forcing himself to smile. "It's going to be all right." He brushed the tears off of Scout's cheeks with his thumb. By this point, he had figured out that the EqU Spy was just as concerned as he was.

Just as he began to look for something to use as a means to staunch the wound, before he could place a hand on his balaclava, one was offered to him, along with his watch. He turned to face Rarity, who had taken off her own mask and revealed her beautiful face, which was only marred by the mess of a mane that had been done thanks to him.

"Thank you.", he said to her before pressing the cloth into the little bullet wound. Scout whimpered at the pressure, trying and failing to move away. "Hush, Scout. This will make it better. I promise." All of Spy's focus zeroed in on Scout's abdomen, while Rarity backed up so that they could spend a few moments alone.

She then whispered in her comms system. "Fluttershy, are you there? I need some assistance."

"Sorry, Rarity. But I'm currently in the limbo room. I was sent away after the RED Demoman almost…cut me in half with his scary sword."

"Oh." Rarity was on her own for the moment. And unfortunately, she wasn't too knowledgeable on first aid.

"S-Sp-Spoi…", the baby Scout tried to speak before he fell forward onto the Spy's chest, burying his face into his Spy's suit, breathing slow and uneven.

The Spy raised a trembling hand to Scout's back, rubbing it in small circles. "Don't cry, Scout…", he whispered, "I'm right here." He buried his face in the Scout's hair. A while later, he forced back a rattling sob as he pressed a finger to his earpiece. "Medic," he croaked, "Medic…"

"We are in ze base, Spy! We're coming!"

"Non…" The Spy didn't bother to hide the crack in his voice. "Non…there's no medical assistance needed."

Rarity did not know the meaning behind the words, but the tone gave it away; the Scout has… has… She immediately burst into tears and threw herself at the Spy's side. He made no effort to push her away as he broke down in frustrated and furious sobs.

They stayed like this for the good portion of a minute, ignoring the furious cries of RED and the panicked cries of EqU above. The Spy then let go of Rarity, not noticing that the Scout's body had mysteriously disappeared. "You should leave. The rest of my team won't be too happy to see you."

The EqU Spy nodded as she vanished from sight and made to leave, even as the RED Sniper located his teammate and made his way to him.

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As it was, the rest of the RED Team had gone totally ballistic when they heard the news from their Medic that their Scout had died. And as they cried out his name (whether or not his name actually is Scout nopony could tell), EqU knew they were in very deep trouble. Even as the others were respawned, the odds were completely against their favor.

In the end, the BLU base nearly crumbled to the ground as the REDs also managed to take the time to steal the intelligence. By the time they took it for the second time, just before it was returned to **their** Intelligence room, good news came from the resting RED Heavy; the RED Scout had respawned…and was back to normal if only unconscious.

The second RED claimed victory, both bases in 2Fort were inexplicably restored to their normal condition. Then, as a means of condolence and consolation, EqU decided to give RED every new weapon and accessory they had (except for the Element of Harmony replicas, any accessories that cannot be catered to human bodies, and 'redundant' items like the Ironbuckers and Hero's Lance).

As for the RED Team, they delivered something in return…

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"Let this be lesson for you! Wizard once said to Soldier that he will kill everyone he cares about. Soldier has no family left, and wizard attack us. That means Soldier care for us. We may be killers, but we are team. We look out for one another. We. Are. Friends! I do not know if our friendship is stronger than yours, but it is strong! You'll do well not to underestimate us next time!"

It was a message that was recited by the Heavy from the RED Team. Tasic replayed this message as he gave a weary sigh. A while later, Chronicle came over.

"Tasic?", he called.

"Yes?"

"My friends have been talking for a while now with this lesson in account and…uhh…they're in no condition to continue battling. They're also quite homesick."

"I see. I intended to send you guys home after accomplishing our mission. We didn't foresee this this sort of situation. I mean, how often is it that reincarnation system glitches and results in the target's regression, huh?"

"Very slim, I'l admit. RED admitted that it was unforeseen to them as well."

"Yeah. I guess I'll get the return process ready. You do know we'll have to use the Mem-Edit, right?"

"Of course I do. And you know I'll keep all this secret from them, right?"

"I Pinkie Promise."

"Okay."

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nightelf37: And that's it for now.

Chronicle: I…I don't know what to make of this.

nightelf37: If you're talking about the crossover ship between Rarity and the RED Spy, it's completely coincidental and unintentional. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. I'm not really experienced in developing them.

Chronicle: Not a good speech from the Heavy, huh?

nightelf37: Yeah. I know he's not dumb, but I can't think of any better speech.

Chronicle: Not gonna reveal how we're brought back?

nightelf37: No more than I'm gonna reveal how you guys were brought over. Sorry.

Chronicle: This one's a bit short, huh?

nightelf37: Yeah. Man, I'm running out of inspirations. See ya on Third!


	24. (LUNA) Badass Blue Diary

nightelf37: For once, this chapter is not centered on EqU, but on LUNA. Why? I just want to. This chapter is somewhat based on Crash Maul's Rise of the Epic Scout in YouTube.

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At Watchtower…

LUNA Team

Blue Diary's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Scattergun  
2° Weapon - Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol  
Melee Weapon - _Justice and Retribution  
_Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Raindrops's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Rocket Launcher  
2° Weapon - _Royal Canterlot Hallmark  
_Melee Weapon - Shovel  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Ditzy Doo's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Flame Thrower  
2° Weapon - Flare Gun  
Melee Weapon - Fire Axe  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Carrot Top's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Grenade Launcher  
2° Weapon - Stickybomb Launcher  
Melee Weapon - Frying Pan  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Bonbon's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Minigun  
2° Weapon - Sandvich  
Melee Weapon - Frying Pan  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Cheerilee's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Shotgun  
2° Weapon - Pistol  
Melee Weapon - Southern Hospitality  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Lyra Heartstrings's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Syringe Gun  
2° Weapon - Medi Gun  
Melee Weapon - Amputator  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Pokey Pierce's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Sniper Rifle  
2° Weapon - Jarate  
Melee Weapon - Bushwacka  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Trixie Lulamoon's Loadout:

2° Weapon - Revolver  
2° PDA - Cloak And Dagger  
Melee Weapon - Knife  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Team

RED Scout's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Baby Face's Blaster  
2° Weapon - Bonk! Atomic Punch  
Melee Weapon - Bat  
Hat - Front Runner (Stylin' Style)  
Misc. Item 1 - Summer Shades  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Soldier's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Black Box  
2° Weapon - Reserve Shooter  
Melee Weapon - Equalizer  
Hat - Honcho's Headgear  
Misc. Item 1 - Fancy Dress Uniform  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Pyro's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Phlogistinator  
2° Weapon - Shotgun  
Melee Weapon - Axe  
Hat - Hottie's Hoodie  
Misc. Item 1 - Last Breath  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Demoman's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Loch-n-Load  
2° Weapon - Scottish Resistance  
Melee Weapon - Scottish Handshake  
Hat - Scotch Bonnet  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Heavy's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Brass Beast  
2° Weapon - Shotgun  
Melee Weapon - Fists  
Hat - One-Man Army  
Misc. Item 1 - Apparatchik's Apparel (Outdoorsmen Style)  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Engineer's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Widowmaker  
2° Weapon - Wrangler  
Melee Weapon - Southern Hospitality  
Hat - Texas Ten Gallon  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Medic's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Syringe Gun  
2° Weapon - Quick-Fix  
Melee Weapon - Vita-Saw  
Hat - Otolaryngologist's Mirror  
Misc. Item 1 - Physician's Procedure Mask  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Sniper's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Hitman's Heatmaker  
2° Weapon - Razorback  
Melee Weapon - Bushwacka  
Hat - Liquidator's Lid  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

RED Spy's Loadout:

2° Weapon - Ambassador  
2° PDA - Dead Ringer  
Melee Weapon - Your Eternal Reward  
Hat - Fancy Fedora  
Misc. Item 1 - Business Casual  
Misc. Item 2 - None

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At least that's what the Arena match would've been were it not for one thing. The rest of LUNA had gotten food poisoning from something Tony had ordered at a fast-food store. Of course, he chose salads and other meat-free products. However, they turned out to be of questionable quality. Only Blue Diary was spared from the poisoning thanks to a strong stomach. Trixie only managed to fare better than the rest due to her preference for strange food combination, but only just. And Dinky had been spared from the food poisoning as well as she had been given a (meat-free, of course) "kiddie meal", which had thankfully been safe.

They were about to have an Arena match with RED, who had just returned to the present thanks to Merasmus. Even with all of Joey's medical expertise, he couldn't get them all back into shape in time. Fortunately, Tony's "Copyspawn system" can generate simulation bots even without the original present unlike Thenam's. Unfortunately, it had gone glitchy thanks to a saboteur, as it was discovered after the fight.

As a result, Blue Diary was now accompanied by eight strange clones, and he noticed strange things about them. For one, their colors were those of their counterparts in EqU save the LUNA Heavy, who had Zecora's colors. The Soldier had Applejack's colors, the Pyro Fluttershy's, the Demomare Rarity's, The Engineer Pinkie Pie's, the Medic Rainbow Dash's, the Sniper Spike's, and the Spy Twilight Sparkle's.

While everypony else had to rest on beds, Dinky and Trixie was at a viewing room in the semi with Tony as he watched Blue's progress on the screens, the latter still feeling a little queasy.

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Needless to say, it was a very bad start. While the REDs were already on the move forward, only Blue did among the LUNAs. He realized this shortly after and scooted back, seeing them all lined up. From what he could see, the Soldier had her face bloated, the Pyro was 'not-quite-there', the Demomare's eyes were spinning, the Heavy was spaced out, the Engineer's head was jittering and grinning, the Medic's face was in a permanent frown, the Sniper had his hat and shades flipped, and the Spy somehow put a lot of pine cones in her mouth.

For the life of him, Blue could not figure out how she managed to do that and doubted the real Trixie would so something so embarrassing (at least he figured she'd find it so). And back in the LUNA semi, Trixie indeed had such thoughts and wondered where they came from in the first place. Blue could find no words for this except…

"Oh, for crying out loud!", he cried out as he smacked himself in the face, then gave an order as his mech-hand pointed outward. "Come on, let's go!"

What happened next was something he didn't expect from the LUNA Soldier, even if he very well knew it wasn't Raindrops; she seemed to swallow up the air in her mouth, give a scream, and then zip leftward in a speed not possible for the jasmine-coated pegasus even at her best, dropping her rocket launcher in the process. She plowed past the Sniper in front, knocking him down, then the Spy from behind, who ended up spitting out and swallowing a few pinecones at the same time.

As she proceeded to choke, the LUNA Soldier then flew out of the respawn area in normal speed and onto the pipe ahead. Just as she was halfway through, she was shot in the head and her body went sailing down. Somewhere at the external ring, the Sniper gave a wave as he chuckled.

Blue gave a gulp at this. Normally, clones disappear in a flash of light in the same manner as they do when sent away. He hoped the Respawn system would still protect him; dying out here for real didn't sit well with him.

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Though they did not know it yet, the Administrator had activated one aspect of Realism Mode, its effects washing over them seconds before the Soldier pony went crazy. The aspect activated was the wounding part; the buildings will stay safe. And she knew this team wasn't the same one as before. One, this team had no little fire-breathing reptile as their Demoman. Two, their Medic is more willing to kill and has a horn instead of wings. Three, their Pyro's speech is muffled unlike the one in pink and had wings, and she still couldn't figure out how **that** pony could do that. Four, their Heavy was definitely female and uses a frying pan instead of a blade of energy from the horn, which she doesn't have. There were a few more reasons as well, though she couldn't bother to come up with them as of yet as she watched the battle in wherever she was. One team of ponies was problematic enough; she will not tolerate another.

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Back at Watchtower…

The LUNA Sniper got up on his feet, 'replaced' his hat, then 'picked up' his rifle as the rest of the team got moving. He got himself positioned and aimed at the RED Sniper. He 'pulled' the trigger.

**BLAM!**

And he immediately went down. As it was, he had positioned his rifle so that he was looking not through the scope, but through the barrel.

Under a stone arch in the center valley, the LUNA Demomare ran before stopping and looking up. The RED Soldier was headed her way, Equalizer up. "If you know what's good for ya, you will run!", he said.

She ignored the warning and aimed her grenade launcher at him, though her jittering vision made it harder to lock onto him. "Gonna kill you and I'll keep killin' you and I'll never, cause you're 'onna be dead and then I'm gonna kill you.", she said in a slurred tone akin to the RED Demoman's. Before she knew it, he had closed the distance and brought down his Equalizer on her eye, killing her instantly. He then left the pickaxe there as he switched to his Black Box.

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Back in the Respawn area…

The LUNA Spy was just recovering from her pinecone problem, breathing heavily. The LUNA Heavy and Medic haven't moved from their positions either. The latter then turned to the former and had a thought. She then switched from her Syringe Gun to her Medi Gun, then walked so that she was behind the Heavy. With a cry, she 'pulled' the handle…which broke and hung on a separate arcanokinetic grip. The Medi Gun sparked electricity, then blew up, burning the LUNA Heavy's tail and sending her running and dropping the minigun. The LUNA Medic was rendered without a stitch on her body (the 'cards' they use to 'transform' are only on the originals). As for the LUNA Spy, she had managed to leave the area before then.

The LUNA Heavy continued running until she found a pool, and jumped in. A second after surfacing, she let out a sigh of relief, only to get burned in the head by the RED Pyro, who gave a maniacal laugh.

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Elsewhere…

The LUNA Pyro and Engineer stood idly before the latter then—with a special property found in all Engineer wrenches—produced a toolbox and dropped it on the Pyro, knocking her still as she tipped over. "Building a Sentry.", she said as she swung her wrench. However, due to the toolbox hitting the Pyro's head, it had landed out of her reach, but she didn't even seem to notice, not even as a RED stickybomb landed on her helmet and another on the Pyro.

The RED Demoman detonated them from a distance as he rested the weapon on his shoulder, giving a two-fingered salute to them. He then noticed the LUNA Scout Blue Diary headed up the stairs to the shack, keeping low given the circumstances and the Sniper. Once he was inside, he looked over the window overlooking the RED Respawn area…and saw the RED Engineer and his Level 1 Sentry, which immediately found him and opened fire. A few round hit his shoulders and he fell over. By the time he got up, the RED Soldier and Demoman were aiming their weapons at him, the Pyro joining shortly.

Blue immediately aimed at them with his scattergun, but its barrels were suddenly shot off and they fell to the floor. He turned to see the RED Scout sitting on a window sill, holding his Baby Face's Blaster.

"Is that all you got, moron?", the RED speedster taunted.

"Not quite.", Blue replied as he got up on his hind legs and took out his pistol. Before he could fire, he was suddenly grabbed from the back and lifted up.

It was the RED Heavy, and he pulled the gun away, breaking part of the mech-arm in the process. "Let us wrestle, little pony!", he said as he successfully pinned him, straining his wings against the remaining mech-arm. From his peripheral, as he heard the Heavy laugh, Blue could see the Pyro clapping like a little girl. He was then hurled out of the window. Without the Pretty Boy's Pocket Pistol to protect him from fall damage, he crashed into the pipe before landing on the ground. The fall distance was so short he hadn't been able to open his wings to fly, and having them temporarily sprained against the Heavy's back didn't help.

He got up pretty quickly, grateful for the relatively sturdy body of a pony, even if it was of a pegasus pony. Unfortunately, he sprained his front left leg and he let off a cry of pain.

"Ooohhhh, run, _run_, I'm coming for you!", he heard the Heavy say as he and the other REDs descended the stairs after him. Without much choice, Blue fell back, making his way to the Respawn area. He stopped for a while to rest as he made his way up the incline to the side, opting not to fly up lest the Sniper get him. Inside the Respawn area, he saw the LUNA Medic. With a smile, he prepared himself, hearing the other REDs already coming from behind, then zoomed to safety as fast as he could.

Just before he could get indoors, a bullet whizzed past his head…and struck him on the left wing. He stumbled from the pain, knowing that the Sniper had hit him. Still, he dragged himself forward until he could reach the long pillar that divided the entrance. "Medic!", he cried out. "I need help!" When the LUNA Medic turned to face him, he saw something wrong. She was colored in Lyra's colors. The actual LUNA Medic that was his ally lay on the floor behind, with the Your Eternal Reward sticking out from her back. For some reason, her body hadn't disappeared. "Oh, great…"

The LUNA Medic then transformed into the RED Spy, who walked towards him with a cigarette in his teeth. "Medic! Medic! Medic!", he said in a mocking tone before giving off a maniacal laugh, and then drawing his Ambassador and aiming it at Blue's head.

Blue didn't wonder why he was receiving specific wounds. He didn't wonder how the RED Spy is able to enter the BLU Respawn area. He didn't wonder if the Respawn system will save him. He just glared back at the Spy, who gave off a grin as his teeth bent the stick of tobacco upward. The grin turned into a frown upon realizing Blue wasn't going to cower. The grin resumed as he pointed the Ambassador down at the LUNA Scout's stomach. Blue braced himself for impact.

Two shots rang out as the RED Scout and Demoman entered. As the Spy walked out shortly after, the RED Heavy stopped short, his Medic bumping into him. The Heavy saw the Spy leave, then turned around to see his Scout and Demoman taunting Blue. He turned to leave, angered that he was denied the chance to tear the pegasus down.

Inside the Respawn area, Blue's vision was fading and he could feel his life signs fade too. Why wasn't his card sending him away to the limbo room, where Medi Gun beams would heal him up? Why was he… He couldn't focus more as he heard the RED Demoman drink from his Scottish Handshake before the RED Scout thrust his Bonk! can into it with intent on doing a toast. Unfortunately, the bottle proved to be somehow more fragile and its top half fell onto him. The can followed a second after.

"Don't come wide with me, ya pint-sized mutt!", Blue heard the Scotsman say amid the Scout's laughter before his consciousness failed him.

_I'm… sorry… Raindrops…_

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"No! Blue Diary!"

It was Trixie who cried out in distress as she saw Blue Diary not get sent away while covering Dinky's eyes with her hat once things started getting bloody. Tony was frantically typing at a keyboard, muttering to himself.

"No, no, no. How could this happen?"

"You said the Respawn system was safe!", Trixie accused him.

"It is! I think that wave that washed over us had something to do with it."

"You mean that invisible one before Blue entered Watchtower?"

Just then, Joey came in, a Sapper hanging in one hand, which nobody noticed until later. "Did anybody notice an invisible wave wash over?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Well, don't you think that could've been the cause?"

"That's my theory. Looks like I have to use…it to save him."

"What is…it?"

"You'll find out shortly."

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Blue Diary didn't know what was happening, but he certainly knew it must be something akin to where he met Chronicle and Timerity after they had lost to Discord and Eris respectively after they fought them in revenge for their friends. They had been foolhardy to think they had a chance, but he couldn't blame them; he would've done the same in their place.

He found himself in a blank vortex, where there was nothing to see for miles. Just then, a blue light appeared, and from there emerged a dark brown glass rum bottle, apparently made by the DeGroots back in 1680. And then another light appeared, this time heralding a can of Bonk! Atomic Punch, Cherry Fission flavor. Personally, he preferred Blutonium Berry, though he has considered trying the Nuclear Rainbow flavor EqU has.

The two drinks stopped right in front of him, then started revolving around each other like in a circle. _I must be going crazy._, he thought as a white light shone right in front of him, blinding him.

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Back in reality…

From the two bullet holes where the RED Spy's Ambassador shot Blue Diary, beams of light shone through them. The card on him started to beep as his body started to float up, his legs hanging limply. Lyre-shaped rings similar to the aura given out when Lyra performs the Medicating Melody were emitted from the wounds. And then his body began to convulse and tilt as an ÜberCharge coat covered him. Once it ended, he was down on all fours and kneeling. As he got up, feeling good as new, he heard a voice through the still-working comms system. It was Tony.

"Crais! Thank goodness you're alive."

"What happened?", the LUNA Scout asked. "For a minute, I left like I was dying."

"You were. That's why I activated the Emergency Life Protocol."

"Emergency Life Protocol?"

"In the event the Respawn system doesn't work, the Emergency Life Protocol can be manually activated to save someone from certain death. Unfortunately, it will disable your card, meaning any further death will be final. It'll take a while for me to set up the second Protocol to teleport you out of here. Stay out of sight until then."

"No."

"No?"

"I plan on taking these guys down. Tell me, are my abilities inhibited?"

"Um, no."

"That's all I need to know." With that, he hovered out of the Respawn area, and made his way to the pipe leading to the shack.

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Up at the shack, the RED Sniper gave a nod to the RED Pyro, who was just leaving through the western exit to look for the LUNA Spy, who hadn't been seen since their take-down of Blue Diary. as he turned back to the window, he suddenly saw said pegasus waving at him. He quickly took out his rifle and aimed.

"That'll slow yer down, ya twitchy hooligan!", he said. He then fired a bullet, only for it to miss as Blue spun out of its way, jump down to the bottom of the pipe, and sail under it before flying back up to the top and charging forward. "Holy dooley!"

As Blue made his way to the stairs, the Sniper aimed his rifle there, ready to blow his head off the second he emerged. "Cheatin' only gets ya so far.", the assassin whispered to himself. Unfortunately for him, he forgot one thing, mostly due to the pegasi not doing it so often; Blue Diary can fly. And that's what he did. Ascending the watchtower, he entered through the window and bucked the Sniper at the side.

This caught the RED Pyro's attention as he then started heading back. The Sniper managed to get up, then draw his Bushwacka. Blue replied by crossing his forelegs together, then stretching them outward, summoning his two swords, Justice and Retribution, in the process. Fortunately, the red bands he wore to keep the blades on didn't disappear when he dons the Scout uniform, as it does with Trixie's cape and hat when she dons the Spy uniform.

The Sniper did not show any signs of intimidation and charged with a side swing. Blue easily parried it by raising Justice, his left-hoof sword. Then he swung Retribution, his right-hoof sword, but the Sniper managed to pull away in time, but was forced to drop his blade in the process. Blue didn't let up for a second as he then charged forward and—to the Sniper's surprise, since he expected a sword swing—flipped to kick him in the chin.

As he did that, Blue glanced the RED Pyro coming his way and landed on the floor, one hoof on the Bushwacka, flipping it into the air. As he saw the Pyro appear, he used one of his sword's special abilities; they are capable of manifesting energies that can shape-shift into any form he desires. To some extent, they work a bit like unicorn telekinesis. Using the aura of one of his swords, he 'grabbed' the Bushwacka and 'hurled' it at the Pyro, cleanly decapitating him.

"Tony, tell me everything about the Dead Ringer.", Blue said.

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Outside, on the other side of the tower…

The RED Demoman was choking the RED Scout in an attempt to get him to stop laughing, which he hasn't done since smashing his bottle with his Bonk! can.

"How's that feel, ya blockhead?", said the Scotsman.

Both of them stopped when the Pyro's head landed on the Scout's. The Demoman then frowned and looked up. Having an idea on what's going on, he primed his Scottish Resistance and fired stickybombs in the room. Once he thought he set enough, he then detonated them. A few seconds later, both he and the Scout peeked over and saw only dismembered parts of the Sniper and Pyro. Not a sign of the white Scout pony anywhere.

The Demoman walked in to try and find out where he was. The answer; the hole in the roof. Blue—listening to Tony's intel as he went—then landed on him by his hind legs, standing like a human being. He then turned to face the Scout, who fired his Blaster, and quickly disarmed him by hitting it with Retribution by the flat end before the shots could hit him. He also 'held' the Sniper's Razorback with the mech-arm. He then bent down to the Scout's face with angry eyebrows, then opened his eyes wide with a harsh glare.

It was nothing compared to the Stare by EqU's Fluttershy, but it got the job done and he screamed like a girl before running and bumping into the Soldier along the way, making him spin around and almost fall.

The Demoman meanwhile got up and aimed his Loch-n-Load at Blue, the both of them at a stand-off. The pegasus started by bucking one of the Pyro's boots, which hit the Demoman on the neck and backed him a fair distance. He then charged forward as the one-eyed Scotsman aimed again. And right behind, the Soldier had jumped up, ready to fire a rocket.

The Demoman launched his grenade, Blue strafed it easily mid-flight, one of his few unique abilities, just as the Soldier's rocket escaped the Black Box. The two explosives collided, sending the Demoman to the wall behind him, and the Soldier into the window, the force of the impact flipping his body out of it and dropping his hat. He landed face-up on the Scout, who had been struggling to catch his breath.

Back in the tower, Blue had escaped much of the damage by putting the Razorback in the way of the blast and reinforcing it with a magical aura coming from Justice, having dismissed Retribution. He then located the Baby Face's Blaster he knocked off from the RED Scout's hands.

"Oh, that smarts.", he heard the Demoman groan. Quickly switching the Razorback and getting it around his left front hoof, he got the Blaster onto his mech-arm, and discarded the empty shell. He then saw him pick up the Loch-n-Load and aim it at him. Blue stuck the Blaster into its bottom barrel and fired. The weapon shook before exploding, blowing off the Demoman's chest and leaving his head, lower body, his gun's barrel, and the hand holding it midair before gravity took hold and brought them down.

By that time, Tony was done telling about the Dead Ringer. Blue thanked him as he then proceeded to head down the stairs, discarding the empty shell. Upon landing on the ground, he aimed the Blaster at the recovering Soldier, only to hear a familiar whirring in the distance. He turned to see the Heavy with his Brass Beast, ready to fire. Thinking quickly, and confident in his swords' magic, he used the Razorback as a shield and 'reinforced' it once more.

Every bullet hit, but the aura coming from Justice didn't let any pierce through. However, he saw the top portion about to break through and quickly ducked his head to avoid the damage, although the bullets knocked off his hat. Curiously, the bullets stopped when that happened. The Heavy had stopped firing, the Medic looked over him, and the Soldier—who had covered his face with his arm—looked over as well.

Blue popped his head upward, and the Heavy gave a laugh before spinning up his minigun. Immediately, the pegasus ditched the Razorback and 'hurled' it with Justice. By a stroke of luck, he intended to conk the Heavy on the head with it, but it ended up lodging itself into the spinning barrel of the gun, jamming it. He then zipped upward, dodging the Soldier's attack with the Reserve Shooter. After scaling a nearby support, he then jumped off of it and landed on the Soldier, hind hooves down, slamming his face into the ground. The Scout had recovered, his Front Runner hair now in Indifferent Style for some reason.

After Blue then shot off the Soldier's head with the Blaster, he turned to his RED counterpart, who quickly turned to run. Unfortunately for him, Blue had grabbed onto his messenger bag with his teeth, and his grip was strong. The pegasus then pulled back, getting the RED Scout flying over to him, then beheaded him with Justice, sending the rest of his body flipping over to the pool behind him and slamming into the rock on the other side.

Blue then picked up the Reserve Shooter in his hooves and looked up to see the Heavy try to dislodge the Razorback off of his Brass Beast. Meanwhile, at the pipe above Blue, the RED Spy was creeping along it, followed by his LUNA counterpart, who had been hiding around with the Cloak and Dagger. And behind the pegasus, the RED Engineer had hauled his Sentry down and it began unloading itself.

The Heavy managed to get the wooden shield off as he then primed his gun once again. "I am not done with you yet!" Blue's reply to this was to aim the Reserve Shooter at him and shoot him in the shoulder, using Justice's aura. The shot forced the Heavy to stop as he knelt down and put a hand on it. His Medic was already at work healing it up. Blue then aimed the Blaster upwards and shot the descending Spy. He then proceeded to reload both guns. Meanwhile, the Engineer's has been upgraded to Level 3.

Blue turned again to see the Heavy-Medic duo cross under the arch in his view, the former revving up his gun. And to his right, he felt that the RED Spy had survived using the Dead Ringer and was ready to fire again. As one, the three guns let loose their bullets (a flurry in the Sentry's and Brass Beast's case and a single round in the case of the Ambassador).

The pegasus spun and jumped, easily evading all of the bullets. As he rotated, he used the Blaster's last round to shoot the Spy, although he knew he had a Dead Ringer and will be back soon. He then landed on the water and began flash-stepping side-to-side, evading the Brass Beast's and Level 3 Sentry's bullets. Unlike his brother Chronicle, this was not a spell, but an innate ability of his. With it, he can match Rainbow Dash's speed, but can only do it in bursts and cannot use them consecutively to move in one general direction and mimic forward (or backward or any one-directional) flight.

The Heavy had his mouth open from seeing such phenomenal speed and agility (none of them have seen Rainbow Dash at her best, though) and gritted his teeth as he continued firing. One second after his (as well as the Sentry's) ammo ran out, Blue zipped up to the Heavy's face, making him gasp in surprise and lift up the Brass Beast to crush him. Around the same time, the Sentry fired its rockets. As the Heavy brought his weapon down, Blue zipped to the left just in time for it to smash itself onto the rockets, which detonated, sending the Brass Beast flying.

The Heavy raised his arm up and looked up on seeing his weapon leave him. As he did that, Blue went around from behind, discarded the empty Blaster, and kicked the RED Medic in the knee, eliciting a cry of pain from him as he took his Vita-Saw and the doctor fell to the ground. Blue then stuck the pointy end into the Heavy's neck, making him choke. The pegasus also noted that his brother would never resort to such painful measures, preferring to end his opponents quickly.

Then, Blue picked up the Medic and started running towards the RED Engineer, who—after resupplying his Sentry—looked over and saw that the pegasus was using him as a shield to hide behind; another measure Chronicle would never resort to. Seeing that his Sentry wasn't firing, the Engineer took out his Wrangler and directed his Sentry to aim at Blue, who summoned Retribution. Despite the Medic's frantic pleas, he fired, tearing his teammate apart. Blue shielded the Medic's body as much as he could with Retribution's aura, but he knew it wouldn't last as body parts began to fly out.

Blue then slid under the failing now-corpse as it broke into half. Reaching the Sentry's base, he pushed it with his hind leg, tipping it over. It fell on the Engineer, who had to let go of his weapons as his head ended up between its body and the rocket launcher. Upon dropping the Wrangler, the Sentry launched another salvo of rockets. The launcher then retracted back into its body, squashing the Engineer's head in the process.

He then turned back to glance at the Heavy, who cried out before falling dead from his injury. Blue did not allow himself to calm down as he then sensed somebody run by. And it wasn't the LUNA Spy, who was apparently just standing around somewhere and being useless. Blue immediately aimed the Reserve Shooter around, and then he heard the RED Spy's laugh echo around the place. He then heard him clear his throat a fair distance behind him. Blue quickly turned and fired the shotgun's last round on the Spy, felling him.

And then the Spy appeared again, having used the Dead Ringer once more. He gave off a laugh as he held his arms in an akimbo position, then raised his Ambassador and let fall the remaining bullets in the revolving chamber, prompting a raised eyebrow from the pegasus. The Spy then discarded the gun before taking out his knife and throwing it behind him as well.

"Let's settle this like gentlemen!", he said as he cracked his knuckles, then urged the LUNA Scout on with an inviting finger. Blue remained suspicious as he continued to aim the shotgun. The Spy then gave a smile and the pegasus could swear he saw the Cheater's Lament on his head. Of course, he didn't believe him one bit, but he discarded the Reserve Shooter and dismissed Retribution before flying over across the pool to him.

Blue started by grabbing the Spy by the suit with his mech-arm, also fishing for something in particular. "I don't need my swords to defeat you.", he said as he reared up his right hoof for a punch. He saw the Spy give a devious grin, then pushed off the mech-arm as he swerved his head to the right to dodge the hoof, which knocked off the cigarette in his mouth. He then spun his body completely in that direction, drawing out the Big Earner from his sleeve, then stuck it into his neck.

As the pegasus went blank and fell to the ground, the Spy took out his Disguise Kit and took out another cigarette from it. He then put it in his mouth, the closed the kit. "Weren't you supposed to be _good_ at dodging?", he taunted before giving off a haughty laugh, which was stopped short upon hearing a familiar uncloaking sound.

Blue Diary appeared from behind, having taken the Spy's Dead Ringer with his mech-arm, tucked it underneath his messenger bag to conceal it, and pushed it into his body to make sure it worked on him. The pegasus then took it out and flung it into his left hoof as the Spy searched himself to realize his pocket watch was gone.

"You know, I'm not brash and arrogant like your Scout, the BLU team's, or that other pony whose hair make those two cry if what you and the BLU Spy said about them is true.", Blue said as he crushed the Dead Ringer between his hooves, hearing the Spy groan. "In fact, I'm more suited for assassination. Problem is—"

He was interrupted when the Spy swiftly turned around and took out the Enforcer to kill him as he spoke. But Blue already flash-stepped right behind him. "—nopony in m group's as fast as I am, so I settled for the Scout. And because you interr—" He then zipped around again as he sensed the Spy turn again. "—upted me, twice…" Blue extended a hoof forward, then summoned Retribution, part of it appearing in the Spy's skull, instantly killing him by telefrag. "…this is what you get."

"Victory!", Tony's voice cried out as Blue withdrew his sword from the dead Spy's head. This was another thing he hid from his siblings and asked his parents to keep secret. Unlike Timerity, Chronicle, and their eldest brother whom none of them talked about much, he didn't work primarily as a bodyguard. Given the corruption of the Night Court in his assigned world, he utilized his skills for assassination. And what he had said to the RED Spy was true, and that was why he left the Spy position to Trixie.

The LUNA Spy, staying out of the fight the entire time, then appeared right next to Blue. The pegasus turned to her and said, "You were of no help." A second later, the Brass Beast found its way back to the ground and promptly crushed her. He wasn't phased at all at this sudden death, then contacted Tony. "Tony, can you explain why we were able to give each other specific limb injuries? Isn't that supposed to be impossible around here? And the bodies the clones leave behind. Shouldn't they disappear like we do when we get sent away?"

"I was trying to find that out while you kicked RED ass there.", came the reply. "From what I can figure out, something inside Watchtower activated and this happened. Nice job on securing Watchtower."

"Don't do anything like that again!", Blue heard Trixie. "Think of those you'll be leaving behind when you get yourself killed!"

"I understand, Trixie. I will not do anything like this again. I promise."

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nightelf37: And that's it for now. The reason I expanded on Blue Diary here is because while it's okay to base a fanfic off the canon show, which is what SC:FiM is doing, it's not okay to base to base a fanfic off another fanfic. Chronicle's 'story' takes place in the canon universe while Blue's takes place in the Lunaverse. Check Chapter 14 of "Shisno Chronicles: Friendship is Magic" to understand more on that particular issue.

As for why the RED Team seems to be OOC from what they are during the "baby Scout" mini-arc, I'll go out on a limb and say "a wizard did it". Specifically, Merasmus. But before I end this chapter, here's a bonus.

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**Taunts**

Shred Alert

The user gets up on two legs (applies for ponies only as Spike is already on two legs), pulls out a black v-shaped guitar with team-colored decals (everypony's respective colors for EqU and dark-blue for LUNA), and plays a quick metal riff accompanied with pyrotechnics and spotlights, finishing off with a lightning strike or any of the following, depending on the user.

Blue Diary and Chronicle: A flat expanding circle depicting the Story Crew emblem before it fades.  
Rainbow Dash: Multicolored lightning strike.  
Derpy Hooves and Ditzy Doo: An explosion of bubbles and letters.  
Pinkie Pie: An explosion of balloons and confetti, as well as the last sound being replaced by the sound of kazoos and party favors.  
Spike: The pyrotechnics are green like his own fire.  
Lyra Heartstrings: Three wavy musical staffs littered with musical notes.  
Fluttershy: An explosion of butterflies similar to the one on her cutie mark.  
Pokey Pierce: A giant drill-shape colored in his aura that soars all the way to the sky.  
Trixie Lulamoon: An explosion of fireworks, firecrackers, and fancy lights. Her hat and cape also appear for the duration of the taunt.

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nightelf37: See ya on Third!


	25. Begin the Halloween That Never Ends

Using the portal technology Tasic hadn't used since the first time the Equestrians got here, the EqU trailer drove through one of those, leaving DeGroot Keep (which has been taken by the BLUs) and entering a farmland named Harvest. It was nighttime and the moon looked really big

"Wow, those BLUs have really stepped up their game!" Thenam said as they finally stopped at the RED side shed.

"Looks like defending the keep isn't as easy as attacking," Chronicle agreed. "At least not without a lot of ranged weapons."

"Where are we?" wondered Derpy Hooves as she and everyone else save Thenam exited the vehicle.

Tasic stopped as he did a once-over. "Looks like we're at Harvest. It's a King of the Hill area."

"Is that where you try and secure a central control point for a certain amount of time while preventing the enemy from doing the same?" Twilight Sparkle guessed.

"Yes. For three minutes."

"Hey, these pumpkins look a little creepy!" Pinkie commented, pointing at a few jack-o-lanterns, not that the Equestria natives knew what they were. "It's almost like they're meant for some kind of holiday themed around scaring. I'd say Nightmare Night, but it's different from that."

"That would be the holiday here called Halloween," Jothicu answered as he and Tasic led the other nine inside the RED shed. "I can tell you that it did not start as the candy-gathering and scare-giving event it is today, but enough about that. Let me tell you a story. It's about Zepheniah Mann, the father of Redmond and Blutarch Mann. Come. Sit."

As he and Tasic sat down in a manner they called Indian sitting, everypony else sat down as well, some on their legs and some on their rumps while Spike followed the humans' way. Seeing the medical researcher turn to him, he sighed and began to narrate. "Zepheniah Nieodemus Mann is a wealthy man from the nation of England, east of this country. He was convinced by his dimwitted sons to purchase large areas of land in frontier America, which is where we are now. He dreamed of turning the land into large pits of gravel for weapons manufacturing. On his journey over to see his newly purchased land, he was struck with almost **every** illness known to man."

"What kinds of illnesses?" Fluttershy dared ask, much to the shock of everypony else.

"Let's see…" Jothicu began to count them off. "Putrid fever, bilious fever, blackwater fever, green fever, spotted fever, womb fever, white plague, marasmus—"

"Merasmus?" asked Pinkie.

"Please do not interrupt, and no, not Merasmus the Magician. Continuing… he also got sweating sickness, deplumatious tumors of the eyelids, pleurisy, membranous croup, scarlet rash, falling sickness, walking sickness, stationary sickness, shingles, jaunoliced spine, skull bloat, scriveners palsy, and impetigo, the last two of which he contracted as he wrote his last will and testament…on his sloughed off skin." Once he was done, it was apparent that Fluttershy was deeply regretting asking in the first place and all the others were or creeped out at this in varying degrees.

Finally, Twilight asked, "How is anypo—I mean, anybody able to contract so many diseases and survive long enough to have a will written?!"

"We don't know. In any case, we learned this from a copy of that will, our methods of acquiring it we will not tell." Tasic produced a rolled-up sheet of paper, then unfurled it to reveal a photograph of the will. "Needless to say, Zepheniah was shocked to find his new land was an empty and useless desert." He also produced an old and faded photograph and passed it to the nearest pony, who soon passed it to the next and so on as he continued. "To his maidservant Elizabeth, the lady to the right, he left his estate, including all deeds, accounts, and debts, his tobacco plantation, and what was left of his fortune. To his aide and tracker Barnabus Hale—"

"Ancestor of Saxton Hale…" pointed out Jothicu.

"Who is at the leftmost part of the photo, he left complete control of what would eventually become Mann Co.," Tasic continued. "To his layabout 'brain defective sons' Blutarch and Redmond, the two in bowler hats, he left a partnership. All of the new land they had convinced him to buy was now to be split evenly between them. It may not sound bad, but for them it was. You see, as evidenced in the war we're in today, the Mann brothers never got along and were always at odds with each other, even since birth or so I heard. He also left Elizabeth, whom I theorize is the ancestor of the Administrator, the entirety of his "miracle" gravel cache, uncovered with Barnabus during a trip to Terra Australis now named Australia, to keep secret from his third and weakling son Gray, who had threatened to blackmail him for it."

"Hold on a second!" interrupted Rainbow Dash. "Are you saying there's a third Mann?"

"Yes, but presently he hasn't involved himself in this war as far as we know or in ways we can interfere. And lastly, to the 'fat-smelling, uneducated simpletons of the untamed Americas', he leaves only this curse—anybody who shoots over his grave will be delivered a haunting unlike any ever seen. I'm not sure whether or not ghosts are real in Equestria, but I can tell you they do exist here."

Suddenly, there came a couple of familiar sounds. The battle cry of Mann Co. mercenaries. "Uh oh," gulped Tasic, then took out something from his pocket and talked through it. "Thenam, activate the trailer's cloaking device and evacuate the area. The BLUs are here."

"So fast?!" the tech gasped. "Oh right. It looks like Merasmus brought them here."

"Mission begins in sixty seconds!" the Administrator's voice came.

"Uh-oh. The Customizers have been left in the trailer! We forgot to place them in the resupply cabinets!" gasped Tasic. "Let's hope your current weapons will work out."

"We haven't changed our weapon loadouts since DeGroot Keep and the Saxton Hale fight before that," Chronicle said.

"Damn. Looks like Jothicu and I should hide."

"You're right." He then addressed Spike and the other ponies. "All right, let's gear up!" As one, they tapped onto their cards and in seconds and a flash of light they were now in their mercenary gear.

"Twilight, looks like you'll have to fight up close. Just be more aware of the Pyro since the Bushwacka increases your vulnerability to fire for some reason."

"Now that I look back, I think I should've stuck with the kukri. We still have yet to acquire the other blades."

"Mission begins in thirty seconds!", came the Administrator.

"Just great. We'll be entering a fight without optimal weapon loadouts. Could this night get any—"

"Don't jinx it!" her bodyguard scolded. "Yeesh, to think you would've learned by now not to tempt fate like that."

"Come on, do you really believe in such things?"

"As much as I do the Pinkie Sense. This fate-tempting has happened way too many times to count to be mere coincidence. Just don't do it, okay?"

"Fine."

"I mean it!"

"Mission begins in ten seconds!" The Administrator.

"Jothicu, Tasic, you know where to hide?"

"Not really," said the former. "I was thinking of staying here in the respawn area where the opposite team cannot enter for some reason."

"I considered finding some hiding place out there, but the Spy or Sniper might locate us while looking for a place to hide and who knows what they'll do to us," said the latter.

"Five!" The Admin's voice came.

"Wish us luck," said Chronicle.

"Four!"

"Good luck!" Jothicu and Tasic moved to the two sides of the shed, next to the doors.

"Three!"

While the shed was covered by the Administrator's cameras, the humans had special gadgets on their persons that hide their presence to them while remaining visible to the unaided eye.

"Two!"

"Ready?!"

"One!"

As one, the nine made their way out of the shed (one had to be urged by another), entering yet another battle, but one that would prove to be significantly different, and not just because this is actually their first King of the Hill battle with BLU (having done one against RED in Badwater Basin).

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EqU Team

Rainbow Dash's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Soda Popper  
2° Weapon - Mad Milk  
Melee Weapon - Candy Cane  
Hat - _Purely Polychromatic_ (no hat)  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Derpy Hooves's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Liberty Launcher  
2° Weapon - _Royal Canterlot Hallmark  
_Melee Weapon - Pain Train  
Hat - _Ditzy Blonde_ (no hat)  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Pinkie Pie's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Flame Thrower  
2° Weapon - Shotgun  
Melee Weapon - Sharpened Volcano Fragment  
Hat - Madame Dixie  
Misc. Item 1 - Marxman (colored Pink As Hell)  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Spike's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Ali Baba's Wee Booties  
2° Weapon - Chargin' Targe  
Melee Weapon - _Hero's Lance  
_Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - _Element of Loyalty  
_Misc. Item 2 - None

Chronicle's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Tomislav  
2° Weapon - Sandvich  
Melee Weapon - _Magic Horn Blade_ (_Speedy Shoes_)  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Applejack's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Frontier Justice  
2° Weapon - _The Rodeo Wrangler  
_Melee Weapon - Southern Hospitality  
Hat - Texas Ten Gallon (colored Muskelmannbraun)  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Fluttershy's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Crusader's Crossbow  
2° Weapon - Medi Gun  
Melee Weapon - Amputator  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

Twilight Sparkle's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Huntsman  
2° Weapon - _Dragon Shield  
_Melee Weapon - Bushwacka  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - Villain's Veil (colored A Deep Commitment to Purple)  
Misc. Item 2 - Triad Trinket (colored A Deep Commitment to Purple)

Rarity's Loadout:

2° Weapon - L'Etranger  
2° PDA - Dead Ringer  
Melee Weapon - Conniver's Kunai  
Hat - _Standard  
_Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

BLU Team

BLU Scout's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Shortstop  
2° Weapon - Bonk! Atomic Drink  
Melee Weapon - Sandman  
Hat - Mildly Disturbing Halloween Mask  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

BLU Soldier's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Rocket Launcher  
2° Weapon - Buff Banner  
Melee Weapon - Escape Plan  
Hat - Ghastlier Gibus  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

BLU Pyro's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Backburner  
2° Weapon - Detonator  
Melee Weapon - Axtinguisher  
Hat - Ghastlier Gibus  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

BLU Demoman's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Grenade Launcher  
2° Weapon - Stickybomb Launcher  
Melee Weapon - Half-Zatoichi  
Hat - Mildly Disturbing Halloween Mask  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

BLU Heavy's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Iron Curtain  
2° Weapon - Sandvich  
Melee Weapon - Fists  
Hat - Mildly Disturbing Halloween Mask  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

BLU Engineer's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Frontier Justice  
2° Weapon - Wrangler  
Melee Weapon - Gunslinger  
Hat - Ghostly Gibus  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

BLU Medic's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Blutsauger  
2° Weapon - Kritzkrieg  
Melee Weapon - Übersaw  
Hat - Mildly Disturbing Halloween Mask  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

BLU Sniper's Loadout:

1° Weapon - Sydney Sleeper  
2° Weapon - Jarate  
Melee Weapon - Bushwacka  
Hat - Mildly Disturbing Halloween Mask  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

BLU Spy's Loadout:

2° Weapon - Ambassador  
2° PDA - Dead Ringer  
Melee Weapon - Spy-cicle  
Hat - Hat - Ghastly Gibus  
Misc. Item 1 - None  
Misc. Item 2 - None

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Midway into the fight…

After an aggravating defense against two rocket-jumping Soldiers (both wearing different hats), Rainbow Dash was soon accompanied by a quickly called up Scout clone, who bore the same colors as her idolizer Scootaloo. Spike joined them as well on the central Control Point just as the (or a) BLU Demoman entered from the hole above. Over his head was an upside-down paper bag with a blue face painted on it depicting one eye and a sticking-out tongue. When inquired on it later, it turns out he was wearing a Mildly Disturbing Halloween Mask, which it was. The Heavy, Scout, Sniper, and Medic also wore similar masks, though they had different faces. The BLU Demoman also wielded what Tasic called a katana, which had a circular guard with rounded notches, and was adorned with brown hilt wrapping. The Half-Zatoichi.

The split moment of surprise was enough for him to take her down and send her away. The Scout clone had been shooting at him with her Force-a-Nature and did not so much as faze upon seeing the Scotsman back to prime condition after his kill while Spike did for only a moment. Before the BLU could take down either of them, their combined efforts ended his assault.

They captured the point just as another BLU Soldier descended, but Derpy entered in time to help neutralize him. The EqU Scout clone exited the barn containing the point only to be gunned down by a Mini-Sentry.

Back at the RED Spawn area, Rainbow just finished 'respawning' and was off as soon as she was able, seeing off an EqU Soldier clone on the way out. As she entered the farmhouse and went up to the second floor, she saw a blue silhouette form into Twilight Sparkle. Already knowing it's the BLU Spy, and seeing that he hasn't realized she was there, she followed him out the window and to the roof. Once they were outdoors, she took him down in two shots.

As long as she didn't ascend under her own power (i.e. being blasted upward by an explosive or bullets won't remove the bonus and neither will climbing any inclines), she wouldn't lose the speed bonus she just got. Theoretically, she would have to be grounded just to maintain the bonus, but she found a loophole by maintaining her altitude in flight and carefully descending. _Oh wait. That's for the Baby Face's Blaster._, she remembered.

The Soda Popper reloads and fires faster, but at the expense of no critical hits and two shots only before reloading, like the Force-a-Nature, which she had seen LUNA's Blue Diary (Chronicle's younger brother) use during the Saxton Hale fight. There was also a "Hype meter" that fills up as she moves about. Once it reaches full, she'll be able to deal mini-critical hits with all weapons for eight seconds, after which she'll have to fill the meter up all over again.

With that in mind, she then made her way back to the Control Point, and confronted the BLU Demoman with the Half-Zatoichi, who was trying to capture it again. Just before they could engage each other in battle however, something appeared in the middle of the point. It seemed to be some sort of "bedsheet ghost" wearing a slightly damaged black gibus hat with the top nearly detached.

Instantly, the Demoman shrieked and immediately fled, running out of the point and getting an arrow to the head before being "run over" by a charging Spike. Utterly surprised, Rainbow laughed at the sight of a battle-hardened (and most likely drunk) mercenary fleeing from something as simple as a bedsheet ghost. However, this ghost then approached her and shouted, "Boo!"

By all rights, she shouldn't have been scared of that, but the ghost didn't simply attempt to spook her, it also cast a debilitating effect that disabled her weapons and near-paralyzed her. As the ghost phased through Rainbow, she backed away, her wings still working somehow, though her mech-arm seemed to be shaking and unresponsive. Suddenly, she was blazed from behind by the Pyro and—because the Backburner was used—was quickly sent away.

"Drat!", Rainbow swore, then talked through the comms system. "Guys! You're not gonna believe this! We got a ghost around here! I saw it scare the BLU Demoman!" She wasn't about to admit that it got her too.

"Oh no, I forgot to tell you!", gasped Tasic. "Harvest was where Zepheniah Mann was buried!"

"What?!"

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"There's a ghost here?!", shrieked Fluttershy.

"I'll keep you safe!", Chronicle assured as the two of them made their way to the BLU Team's spawn area, repelling all in their way. Just then, there was a voice from the comms system.

"Guys!" It was Twilight. "I see something headed your way from behind! And it's not a BLU!"

"The ghost…Fluttershy, stick with me!" The EqU Medic did as he asked as the BLU Sniper got him on the leg with a shot from the Sydney Sleeper, somehow covering him in Jarate. "Yuck!" Luckily, the Medi Gun made short work of the liquid as they continued forward.

"Piece of piss!" he heard the Sniper cry out from somewhere.

Just then, a rocket came flying in their direction, hitting the ground and knocking them back…towards the ghost. "Oh, f—"

"Boo!"

The effect was instantaneous; both were rendered stunned and one actually got scared. And then the Soldier who launched the rocket fired a couple more and took them both out and sent them to the limbo room.

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"We have lost the control point!" called Thenam through the comms system. "Reclaim it!"

The EqU Scout clone made her way back to the control point to reclaim it, seeing the ghost as she passed by it in the farmhouse, keeping her distance from it. As she reached the central Control Point with caution, she entered and found herself seeing the back of a BLU Demoman, who was about to leave the point.

Just as he did however, the ghost came up to him and spooked him, giving her the chance to finish him off, only for it to approach her and do the same to her. Technically, that wasn't supposed to be possible, since she was just a construct, but it forced her to back away as it made its way to the point, leaving it partly captured. Thankfully, even as another BLU Demoman entered from the other side, Derpy went in and took him out with two rockets, both of which passed through the ghost.

As the Scout clone circled around the barn housing the point, Derpy flew well over the ghost before landing on the point to capture it. Rarity joined her and the point was soon theirs again. However, a few seconds later, the BLU Pyro went in and ousted them with his Backburner, later joined by the BLU Engineer as he set up a Mini-Sentry, which gunned the EqU Scout down as she returned from fighting off other BLUs.

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As the BLU Scout respawned after getting torched down by the EqU Pyro Pinkie Pie, he exited the spawn room. Upon reaching the control point, he found that it has been reclaimed by his teammates. Already, he could see some of those pesky ponies fighting to get it back, but with the defenders being two Soldiers, he decided to let them handle it. He was not fond of being tossed around by explosions, which the Friendly Fire Protection System didn't protect him when they explode even if the firer was his ally.

Making his way across the rooftops, he caught sight of his counterpart in EqU; Rainbow Dash. Unlike his RED counterpart, he hasn't managed to get over his crying over rainbows as much yet. And so he faltered during a jump and ended up slamming into an outer wall. She hadn't notice him however, as she was busy dodging shots from the BLU Heavy and taunting him.

He quickly came to, turned to his right, and saw an EqU Engineer (but not Applejack) hauling something on her back and headed to the point, which was now under EqU's control. He had to admit that she had excellent balance for it not to tip over, but he figured she wouldn't be able to do so with her skull bashed in. Peeling himself off, he sped at her from the side and bonked her on the head multiple times before she disappeared in white lights. As for the load, it fell apart.

"Pop quiz: how long's it take to beat a moron to death?" he said to where she once was.

Before he could imitate a buzzer, he was cut off by a body-shot from Twilight Sparkle, who stood on a rooftop. Thanks to her purple garbs and coat, the dark sky proved to be somewhat adequate camouflage.

"It all depends on the weapon," she replied to herself before nocking another arrow. However, the Scout was already on the move, knowing where she was and trying to reach her. She considered trying to get at him, but then she heard an alert from Tasic; they lost the control point.

Making certain nobody was watching, she teleported… just as the Scout made it to her location and witnessed the entire thing.

"Ah crap!" he gasped. "The Sniper can teleport without a teleporter!"

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At the central control point, the BLU Engineer managed to set up a Mini-Sentry Gun and a Dispenser, being protected by the BLU Pyro. The Medic and a Soldier made their way to them as they warded off the incoming ponies. Only twenty seconds and they'll secure victory from EqU for a second time.

"LET'S PARTY!" a voice suddenly came. From behind them came the EqU Pyro and Medic, coated with a standard Medi Gun ÜberCharge. The one called Pinkie Pie, gleaming in a color true to her name, was ready to blaze away.

"Ah, good night, Irene!" gasped the Engineer as he hoped his team's Medic can counter them without a Medi Gun ÜberCharge and switched to the Wrangler.

"Hit it, Doc!" cried out the Soldier, and the Medic complied. his Rocket Launcher began to crackle with power. "Attaaack!" He then fired rockets at the ÜberCharge duo, but Pinkie drove those back with a few airblasts. The Medic kept him healed up though. The Pyro joined in with a few airblasts of his own only to be forced back by the shotgun.

The pair continued to advance, with Pinkie deftly switching her weapons (it helps when both were technically held) to drive back the defenses, and Fluttershy staying on the ground and bracing her friend from the knockbacks. As the EqU Medic had learned, it was easier to be knocked back while flying.

In less than ten seconds, the BLU Pyro went down, followed by the Soldier, and then it was down to the Engineer sticking behind his Mini-Sentry while his Medic healed him **while** it was being burnt down—then hacked away—by the pink pony. And then the Medic went down from a backstab by Rarity, who immediately did in the Engineer before he could react just as the EqU ÜberCharge faded.

"Thanks a lot!" Pinkie said as she finished wrecking the BLU Engineer's Mini-Sentry, which stopped firing upon its owner's death. "We wouldn't have succeeded without your timely arrival."

"My pleasure," replied Rarity as the three of them stood on the point, hoping they could capture it before BLU's timer runs out. Unfortunately for them, there was seven seconds left for the BLUs the instant their Engineer died.

Their defeat began to dawn on them when they heard the Administrator say, "Victory!" Immediately, by some strange rule affecting the area, the ponies' weapons disappeared and they automatically got down on their haunches and looked down solemnly.

Unlike the RED and BLU mercenaries, who generally flee, cower, or be thoroughly disappointed (as the Pyro and Spy do) while they get chased down by the victors, the EqU ones usually just slump over in defeat, except for Spike (who cowers and flees like the others) and Rainbow Dash (who just fumes and flies around, tackling any human in her way). Also, they are rendered invulnerable unlike the mercenaries until they are teleported back to the spawn room for another round or into the trailer, ready to flee, also using a special teleport failsafe to recall the Customizers so that they would not fall into the enemy's clutches.

Given the temporary invulnerability EqU had, the BLUs decided not to waste their ammunition and heckle the losers with taunts. The respawned BLU Medic was chasing Spike with a manic grin like he wanted to dissect him despite his tools not being able to penetrate the scales. The BLU Scout was pestering Rainbow in an attempt to get used to her and not cry at the sight of her mane. Of course, she wasn't impressed and kept trying to ram into him, but with little success for some reason.

Just as the usual Humiliation period ended, something unexpected happened. First, any duplicates of any of the mercenaries were instantly taken out. Second, the eighteen remaining combatants were caught in a strange green aura, then teleported around the shed housing the control point. Third, there was a green glowing light twenty feet above the point. When it faded…

"It's Merasmus!" Twilight gasped.

Merasmus raised his staff into the air, ready to cast a spell. "My spell begins henceforth, my friends! The Halloween That Never Ends!" From his staff, he launched a bolt of green magic into the heavens. It seemed to stop at a certain altitude, upon which it began to emit shockwaves that expanded all the way to the horizon.

"Halloween? Forever?!" the BLU Scout cried out.

"Yes! For all foreigners to America and all who work for Mann Co., it will be October 31st for all eternity! Or until I get bored, whichever goes first."

Somebody—no one could remember if it was a Soldier, Demoman, or Sniper—attacked the wizard, who waved his staff and deflected the projectile. "Last Halloween and the Halloween before that has been getting old lately, so I've decided to play a little game. Fight in the areas Mann Manor, Eyeaduct, and Ghost Fort. You know the last two as Viaduct and Lakeside. For the visiting non-humans…" He emphasized on EqU. "You will find Mann Manor in the city of Manne-upon-Thames! I will only lift this spell if one team scores a victory on those three places in order without a loss in between. May the best team win!"

And then he was gone in a flash of green light.

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nightelf37: To be honest, I don't really know if the Ghost appears at this time or not and so I apologize for this chapter being weak. I don't play the game, and so I also don't know how to effectively characterize Merasmus. This Halloween Arc will continue in the next chapter. See ya on Third!

P.S. As for the goof with the central control point, I'm gonna say the Administrator did it. After all, as I 'pointed out' in the "Baby Scout" arc, she is able to control the environment the mercenaries fight in. Who's to say the same can't be done for the control point rules?


	26. (LUNA) The Barbarian Queen

nightelf37: Once again, I created another LUNA chapter. Why? I just want to, and the Lunaverse is just awesome. This chapter is somewhat based on both MrPopulus89's "Meet the Dumpster Diver" in YouTube and Fizzy Orange's "Raindrops of Clan Drops, Barbarian Queen", a non-'canon' Lunaverse story.

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"Alert! The enemy has taken our intelligence!"

It was nighttime at 2Fort, and LUNA was fighting RED in a Capture the Flag Match, but with added Arena rules. Things weren't looking good though as the mercenaries were dominating them. Pokey Pierce peeked out from the battlements only to get tagged in the head by the RED Sniper, getting sent away as a result.

The RED Scout, Heavy, and Medic were down at the front, having a field day. For some reason, the roof of the bridge was missing, but the Scout didn't think about that as he toyed with the Grenade Launcher dropped by the LUNA Demomare.

"Surrender now and you will not be harmed!" a voice called out to them from the BLU base.

The Medic gasped, frowned, then pointed at the left BLU entrance with a "Fess…" escaping his lips. The Heavy was just finished kissing Sasha as he said this and quickly readied himself. The Scout grunted as he turned to where he was pointing. Their expressions turned to bewilderment as they saw who was coming, or rather what she was wearing.

"Time to make like the rain and wash away the filth!"

It was the LUNA Soldier Raindrops, and she looked serious as always. However, there was something different about her loadout. Her main weapon was the Beggar's Bazooka, a crude rocket launcher made from pipes, mismatched handles and a filter held together with bolts, electrical tape, and various straps and belts. A funnel was attached to the end as a makeshift exhaust port. She also had a mangled yet still manageable sword, which she called Sun Drinker. There was also the standard shotgun.

Aside from the standard Soldier getup, which was colored dark blue, she also wore the Tyrant's Helm hat (a metal, viking helmet with two horns on its sides, the left of which is broken) in Ye Olde Rustic Colour, the Captain's Cocktails accessory, and what seemed to be hide of a lion over her clothes.

The three REDs' faces were mixed with the confusion of seeing a pony—known for being vegetarians—wearing animal hide and the hilarity of her getup in general. Finally, they decided to break out in laughter, performing their Schadenfreude taunts. Until the Scout was blown to smithereens by a rocket.

Now they knew she means business, and the Heavy decided to oblige by firing at her with Sasha. At his distance however, they weren't too accurate as Raindrops galloped across the bridge towards them. It didn't help that she was smaller than them by at least two or three feet. Halfway, she then launched herself in the air via rocket jump; she was the only pegasus who used and needed such jumps, as even Fluttershy—both EqU and probably the one back home—can ascend faster.

As Raindrops soared high in the sky, she loaded her rockets, aimed the launcher down, and fired a salvo of three straight down at the Heavy, who continued to fire even as the Medic fled. As the rockets blew the big man to pieces, the doctor tumbled forward, then jumped straight to his feet while Raindrops quickly descended to the ground, rolling upon landing as she righted herself and aimed the shotgun at his head just as he aimed his syringe gun at hers.

Raindrops fired first—blowing off the Medic's head—and swerved her head as his dead finger pulled the trigger, shooting a syringe into her cheek when it might've struck her in the eye; one disadvantage ponies have over humans was that their eyes were bigger and thus more vulnerable to external elements. The syringe didn't hurt much as she removed it while entering the base.

As Raindrops flew across the corridors and into the courtyard, she found the RED Demoman drinking from his scrumpy. She decided to catch his attention by blowing it to bits. He turned to face her with an angry face and began to fire grenades at her, which she strafed. As she entered the courtyard, the two began to circle each other as she counterattacked with shotgun blasts. She also noticed the cursed sword called the Eyelander hooked up on his belt.

Once their clips ran out, they dropped their weapons and charged straight for each other. She swung a hoof, which landed on his face. He returned the favor with a fist, but didn't inflict as much pain. She finished off her attack with a buck, sending him flying for a second before he crashed into the ground and onto his face.

The Demoman got to his knees, turned his head with a scowl as he identified the skin of a mythical beast called a manticore on the LUNA pony and worn as armor, then—as he turned around back on his feet—unsheathed the Eyelander. Raindrops decided to accept his challenge by taking out Sun Drinker and holding it in her mouth.

"Who the hell do ye think ye are?!" he demanded.

"I am Raindrops, of Clan Drops, Barbarian Queen of the Northern Peaks! Student of the Cloud Sage of Moon Mountain and Savior of Daer'b!"

"Aye! And I am Tavish DeGroot, Prince of DeGroot Keep! Highland Demolition Man of Reliable Excavation and Demolition and the only black Scottish cyclops ye'll ever see in a long time!"

With inarticulate battle cries, one muffled by the sword handle in her mouth, they charged. The two exchanged blows, each time creating a shower of sparks. Finally, when the Demoman went for an overhead strike with all of his might, Raindrops let out another muffled battle cry and struck with all of her might. She swung with so much force that the cursed blade was sent flying before the surprised eye of the Scotsman.

His surprise grew tenfold when she—carried by her momentum—brought her sword around and stabbed him through the abdomen. The Demoman coughed blood as she slammed him into the wall, then pulled Sun Drinker out of his body. He fell down on his face, his eyes still open as he dropped dead. Raindrops then made her way into the Intelligence room, after sheathing Sun Drinker and picking up her shotgun of course.

Making her way in, she decided to try pulling off a trick Blue Diary tried to teach her; running along the ceiling while keeping herself aloft with her wings. She couldn't do it though, so she decided to just fly close to the ceiling; hoofsteps were louder than footsteps at any rate. Even as she did that however, as she turned a corner, the RED Pyro saw her and began to charge forward, ready to fry her.

She didn't give him the chance as just before he was in range, she turned around so that her hooves were to the ceiling, then pushed off of them, sending herself straight for him in a speed greater than she could achieve from flight alone. She tackled the Pyro, then turned and bucked him straight for some fuel barrels, knocking them down and spilling their contents. She didn't bother to stick around as his flamethrower's pilot light set them alight and torched the masked mumbler; even he can't survive fire for long, it just protects him from burning.

Raindrops continued her search, finally recognizing the terrain and realizing that the Intelligence room was just around the corner, for real this time. As she reached it however, she heard the familiar beeping sound of a Level 3 Sentry Gun before she saw it and its Engineer next to the table where the briefcase was. She quickly landed her hooves to the wall, then jumped off of it as she barely dodged the bullets and rockets. As she landed on her feet once more, she also noted the cracks on the wall where she jumped off from.

Normally, she would require a Medic to keep herself healed up and deploy an ÜberCharge, but Lyra was down for the count and for some reason the 'copyspawn system' was glitching. She had also seen someone she did not expect; Prince Miche of the Kingdom of Levure. But what did he REDs want with him? No matter. She was going to rescue him, because he also happens to be her beloved.

Knowing what to do, she loaded her rockets until the launcher could hold no more, then—as she jumped out into view—launched them all at the Engineer, blasting him to bits before he could react and damaging the Sentry in the process. Prince Miche was shaken for a bit, but was otherwise all right. Raindrops pulled away to dodge its bullets and rockets as she loaded another salvo, then—hoping another Engineer wouldn't show up—fired away.

Once the Sentry was blown to bits, Raindrops approached the briefcase and the Prince and was about to grab them when she sensed something. Before Miche could think of warning her, with only gut instinct for guidance, she delivered a solid buck—at an invisible RED Spy, sending him straight to the wall and ejecting the cigarette from his mouth. She wasted no time and blasted him with her shotgun, killing him.

Once the briefcase and the Prince were then secured on her back, she made her way out of 2Fort. Due to certain 'rules' set in the area by the Administrator, she couldn't just fly over the entire compound and therefore bypass most resistance save the Sniper. As she took off to the air across the river between the two bases, loading up rockets in case of pursuers, she heard a gunshot, and then it struck her helmet by the horn—and nearly grazed Prince Miche by the side.

While she was slow in her movement, that wasn't the case with her mind. Upon the bullet's impact, and sensing her beloved barely escape a dangerous hit, she turned around to the battlements where the RED Sniper was, then fired her salvo of rockets. They struck just below the battlements and blew them us, setting some of them on fire. As his platform began to fall apart, the Sniper clung to one of the wooden bars to brace himself, but the rest of the structure finished him off.

Satisfied with her team's victory, she turned to face Prince Miche, took in his golden form, took a whiff of his delicious smell, took off her helmet, took him off her back, and took…a bite out of him.

"Oh, Prince Miche! I'm so happy to see you again!" she said, hugging the large loaf of bread, then taking another bite. "Mmmm! I was so worried!"

EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2

Raindrops woke up with a start as a beeping noise woke her up. With a grunt, she punched—the broad side of a sword, which prevented her from smashing a nearby 'digital' alarm clock. As a red aura came from it and prevented her from pulling it back, she turned her head to the sword's owner.

"Whoa there, Raindrops," Blue Diary greeted. "Those clocks don't come cheap."

Tony then popped out from behind the doorway. "That was certainly a strange dream you had, Raindrops."

Raindrops finally remembered where she was. She was in the cargo box of the LUNA semi, en route to whichever team EqU wasn't occupied with. "Hold on. Strange dream?" she asked. "How would you know that? Do you have something that reads surface minds?"

"If you're talking about those cute glasses Trixie gave you once during that Oaton incident, as Blue Diary put it, then sort of. I have a device that reads your subconscious thoughts, but it only works when the conscious mind is…not. Anyway, I saw you rescue your loaf of bread along with the intelligence, and upon seeing your sword, I thought I should make it for you to use."

"You can do that?"

Tony gave a wide smile. "Of course!"

"And yet you can't make a version of Trixie's hat for her to wear while as a Spy."

"Sorry, but other than the replicas of your Elements of Harmony or that Pocket Lyramedic, we can't make new hats for some reason, except perhaps unlocking the option in your Customizers to not wear your default hats at all."

Raindrops put a scowl. "That's disappointing."

"Still, Sun Drinker looks like a very interesting sword. Could you come with me so I can replicate it?"

The jasmine pegasus turned to the white one, who gave a nod, then back to the tech expert. "…All right."

EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2—EF2

nightelf37: This was just for crack purposes. Also, I LOVE Lunaverse Raindrops! You should seriously check out the Lunaverse in . See ya on Third!


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